Open Weekend Post: Hosted by the Eclipse Cardboard Stand Ups

Dear Eclipse Merchandise/Marketing folks,

WTF happened here? Was someone asleep at the wheel? Let’s take a closer look?

First off the expression on his face. It’s a mix between “the one who smelt it, dealt it” and “eh, fuck it, let er rip.” Put that face in the NSYNC circa Pop Odyssey denim jacket with converse from the Target collection and you’re got a recipe from my dreams. Also pretty sure those are his personal black jeans. He doesn’t let anything but the best thrift store denim tough those thighs.

Next up…

Poor pooooor Jacob/Taylor. This is just an all around bad look. The poofy hair, the moobs (man boobs) showcased by a shirt that makes you look like you just ate the WHOLE Chipotle burrito during your lunch break and you’re really regretting it now. Worn with the haphazardly tied LUGGS and this cardboard cut out screams construction worker with his heart on his (non-existent) sleeve.

Who left the wind machine on between the America’s Next Top Model shoot and the Eclipse Promo photo shoot? And the poor girl was told “do the KISS ME” eye brow raise and ended up the recipient of some crazy photoshop shenanigans as her left eye is like 2 inches lower than the right. WTF happened there?

So if waking up in your darkened bedroom only to be greeted by a teenage construction worker who loves Carne Asada, America’s Next Top Model reject and the Fart-meister than these cardboard cut outs are for you. 33 bucks and the dream can be yours!

Happy Freakin’ Weekend!
Themoonisdown

Who’s buying one of these? I think the LTT/LTR headquarters needs the entire set so we can put them in compromising positions and feed the Jacob one tacos when we have writers block. Who’s with us?

Thanks Twifans for the tweet to tip me off!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Kellan & his Mom!

Hun, have you been keeping up with your "Read the Bible in 365 Days" schedule?

Dear Kellan,

When I first saw this picture I fell in love with you Mom, cause she’s sooooo well, a MOM. She know’s how to have a Chico’s kind of day while in LA with her sun. The capri cargo pants, the floral paisley flowing top coupled with what can only be a pair of Born sandals. They are SO comfy, I know I’ve worn my mom’s around the block one time. I wanted to tell you how much I love her Classy Cuts bob and the obligatory bump in the back that can only be made with a “rat” comb and some Salon Selectives aerosol hairspray! She’s awesome to say the least. I also imagine her to be asking you how your bible study small group is going. Are you inviting new lost souls to the group? What are you thoughts on The Purpose Driven Life 2 (really purposeful!), and when your singles group is having it’s next progressive dinner.

Too bad she was cut short when you got to the restaurant and Anna-Lynn was there lookin’ all kinds of wind blown and she figured out it wasn’t going to be a mom and son brunch but a mom meet my “girlfriend” brunch. I feel sad for her.

After I thought about ALL of that I got distracted by your shirt. What could “Men for Women Now.com” be? So of course I Ctrl T’d and typed that shiz in and what I found made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. When I opened the website the following video starts auto playing

Who doesn’t love BOOBS? Really, it should be called Boob-book! HEH HEH. Ok Kevin Connolly, you can drop you “E” persona when you’re talking about boobs and breast cancer it’s just creepy.

So yes Kellan loves boobs and he loves saving them. So much so he wears a shirt about it while walking with his Betty Baptist Mom. Oh how I love this whole picture.

Thank you for caring about boobs and for giving me the best start to my weekend!

It’s a matter of life and breast!
Themoonisdown

Thx MenforWomenNow.com

It’s the freakin’ weekend baby, I’m about to have me some fun! What are your plans? How HOT is Kellan? How much does his Mom remind you of your own?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Open Weekend Post – Hosted by our reignited hope in Swiftner

It’s the weekend, time for an open post!

Dear LTT-ers,

Remember when we all fell in love with Swiftner? And then we ultimately had our Lisa Frank unicorn illustrated dreams crushed when they “broke up?” Well now they’re just messing with our emotions! The pair of them followed by a trail of rainbow hearts, dancing teddy bears and puffy stars went out for a little lunch in Beverly Hills! I know… I know… just try to remain calm. Let’s not get too excited here… I’ll let you enjoy this photo and this weekend and let the speculation run wild

Pitter patter goes my black heart,
Themoonisdown

So do you think they’re back on? Were they EVER on? Where’s Big Daddy? We know he doesn’t miss out on a good lunch date

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Open Weekend Post- Hosted by an Alpaca & Taylor Lautner

Dear Weekenders,

This weekend’s “Open Post” ( <—– click that if you weren’t around last weekend and don’t know what I’m talking about) is hosted by an Alpaca. And Taylor Lautner.

Source: Alpaca Picture Book by KD Galbraith
Walnut Creek Alpacas
www.walnutcreekalpacas.com

You might think,

“WTF, UC? Are you really that lazy that you just threw up a picture of a really super, duper cute fuzzy animal next to Taylor and called it a post?”

But you’d be wrong. I didn’t wake up this morning and think,

“Hmm- what can I do that would be so incredibly random- Oh, I know! South American animal + Fish-O-Filet lover’s son. That’ll make ’em laugh.”

This was ACTUALLY sent to us by someone. Yes. This Existed.

Someone, somewhere, took a picture of an Alpaca (that may or may not be stuffed- I can’t tell) and put it next to a picture of Taylor Lautner.

I, however,  felt I had to create the following:

Why did someone choose to take a furry animal and put it next to Taylor’s face? Are they insinuating that Tay-tay resembles this animal? Is owning an Alpaca & having Taylor as their lover a dream of theirs? Are they just…. weird?

This is your open post discussion for the weekend. (Orrrrr discuss whatever the crap you wanna talk about!!)

Kinda 2nd-hand embarasssed but also kinda just want to hug that fuzzy animal,
UnintendedChoice

Thanks to Kristi for finding this and thinking of us!

After the jump, enjoy a little extra something this weekend to help aid you in your New Moon watching:

Open Weekend Post – Hosted by Disapproving GIFs

Dear Weekenders-

Remember when we asked if you’d die of loneliness on the weekends if we didn’t post on Saturday and Sunday? Well we heard your answers and we’re going to give it a whirl for a while till things heat up with Eclipse again and then we’ll be back full time on the weekends.

First it’s business time…

• Since we won’t be posting regularly (on the weekends until Eclipse returns!) we’ve come up with what we’re going to call “Open Posts” inspired by our lover Micheal K from Dlisted. Essentially we will post something for the whole weekend. It will be the place you can comment, chat, discuss, email us letters or ideas, whatever, in lieu of our normal posts. With that in mind some comments may end up in moderation as they sometimes do but we’ll get them out asap, it just might not be as quick as we do during the weekdays. We also encourage you to run over to the forum where they continue to have lively topics and discussions throughout the weekend.

• Also a BIG reminder (as if you could forget) Rob’s new film Remember Me is now in theaters, if you haven’t gotten your tickets yet DO THAT and if you’re so inclined and want to see Rob in a shower multiple times this weekend, you can participate in Remember Me Saturday!

So without further adieu… let’s get on with the show…

This weekends Open Post is Hosted by: Disapproving GIFS!

Ever needed to show your disapproval with a quick look? Been so annoyed you needed to show how NOT INTO IT you are? Well Jackson and Rob have it down pat… just follow their lead… and drop these GIFs the next time someone’s harshing your buzz.

Jacky doesn’t want to have to cuttabitch. So DROP IT!

There’s never been a headshake with so much behind it. So much win, so much disapproval, so much funny. And Rob brings it.

Do you feeeeel their disapproval?

Now it’s YOUR TURN! Have fun in the comments and we will see you in the theaters this weekend for Remember Me and back here on Monday morning!

*shakes head* BOTHERED!
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Taylor Lautner at a hockey game in 4 takes…

Dear Taylor-

I had a great weekend, saw some friends, went to some house parties, got a fathers day gift (don’t forget Big Daddy Lautner this Sunday!) and wondered what you were up to now that New Moon wrapped principle photography… and lucky me Just Jared found you at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game! I totally forgot you were from the North because who else watches hockey around here? You and Big Daddy Lautner (my other name for Poppa Filet o Fish) did not disappoint with your AMAZING facial expressions during that game that were all caught on film for folks like UC and I to enjoy… and enjoy them we did!

Taylor: OH DUDE DAD!! That cougar behind me just grabbed my balls in the hall and I liked it!!
Big Daddy: Isn’t that a Katy Perry song?
Taylor: Um Yea, something like that, I don’t know Dad but she pushed me into the guys bathroom and told me she’d “make me a man” for Rob’s phone number, can you believe it?! I was like get in line sister!
Big Daddy: Hmmmph… kids these days… freakin 6 pack abs and mystic tans are wasted on the youth… I wonder if they have a McDee’s in this arena. Taylor go get me a McFlurry!

Taylor: Daaaadd… I just remembered Selena broke up with me. I’m really sad… do you have a kleenex?
Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?
Taylor: sniff… sniff… yeaaaa but who will I walk in the rain with now? What about the umbrella I bought? Who will I give chaste sweet hugs to on the sidewalk in front of the papparazzi?
Big Daddy: Consider it a blessing she dumped you now Son. She’s a Disney girl, it would have taken 2 years to get to first base and then it would have ended in sorrow after the inevitable dirty webcam pics surfaced. Do you want some cotton candy?

Follow the cut to see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vender…