Twilosophy, on a Friday?

Dear Twilosophy Class,

Normally on Fridays we like to go all “dumb” on you- post a funny story, a picture we can all lust over, etc. etc. etc. But today, you’re gonna have to DEAL with it because Moon & I got all Twilosophical through an email conversation with our friend EastFriend (yes- from The Quad- she’s still alive!) and it just HAD to be shared. While this may not be our normal Friday thang, you don’t want to miss this conversation. And we don’t want to miss your thoughts (although, I (UC) just left for vacation, so I’m going to have to miss it!)

EastFriend kicked us off sharing something she just read in Rolling Stone Magazine about Vampire Diaries, contrasting it with Twilight:

“We’re surrounded by bat-porn fantasies these days, but Vampire Diaries is the one that feels most authentic, because it’s the most adolescent, the most ordinary.  It would kill the fantasy if there were anything glamorous about Elena.  (That’s why Twilight was so great, when Kristen Stewart was just some mousy girl in a flannel shirt, and New Moon sucked, when Kristen Stewart was a movie star.)

EastFriend:

Really? “Twilight was so great?” “New Moon sucked?”

I do get the charm of the cast being relative unknowns when Twilight was 1st released, and the “old hat” feeling of them by the time we got to New Moon. And I also accept the fact that a percentage of the fandom is not on board with Eclipse due to (a) Being over it, (b) Hating Kristen, (c) Hating Rob for being with Kristen, (d) Worrying over David Slade and all these reshoot/new editor/blah-blah-blah rumors of late, etc., and (e) Complete over saturation of the series (how has Harry Potter maintained the magic for well over a decade?!?), which would fall in line with being over it, I guess.

Was Twilight “so great” because it was so “unknown” at first (and by unknown, I mean by the world at large–not by us, who’d read it at Hilton Head and knew greatness long before the masses!), and did New Moon suck because a cast full of young adults, heretofore unknown, had spent the previous year in our faces? Blogs, TV, magazine covers, websites, premieres, award shows, film festivals, etc.

Seriously. I have to discuss this.

Who is the best British fantasy star? I'm not sure, guess we'll have to see YOU naked, Rob...

UC:

The difference between Twilight and Harry Potter is that with HP we have to wait SO long between movies. I get why we don’t have to with Twilight:

#1- Summit wants the money NOW

#2- They don’t want the cast members to “Age,” but come on- it’s the MOVIES. you can make it work!

And about Twilight seeming so GREAT vs New Moon….I think it depends on who you ask about NM vs TWI…. reviewers & industry people hated both, but hated New MOON more- I think because it was a better quality movie- more money, more effort, less indie/rando/Cathy Cougar is a little drunk feeling. I think a lot of people connect with Catherine’s style & saw her portrayal of Twilight for what it was- a movie gearing towards the MTV crowd… and it was okay. It worked for what it needed to do. But with New Moon, Summit is trying to compete with major block-busters- with the Harry Potters & the comic-book-series of these days… and well, it falls majorly short if that’s what you’re comparing it to. But for us as fans (and most of the people that we come into contact with) the actors did SUCH a better job in NM & it was just less cheesy & more true to the book- so we love it more.

However… that being said.. I don’t have the emotional connection to New Moon like I did with Twilight. I haven’t watched the DVD yet. I didn’t see it as much in the theaters. Is that because of being inundated so much in the Twi world? After my emotional mess when I was entranced by this Twilight world and before I had the blogs to run to, I’d cry when I put on songs #7-12 of the soundtrack… the New Moon soundtrack is SOO GOOD and yet I never cried….. What IS that?

Get even DEEPER after the jump!

Losing our Twilight (movie) virginity

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Dear Twilight,

There’s nothing like your first time. The nerves, the jitters, the excitement, that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. And then it’s over and suddenly you know what everyone has been talking about. You are no longer a virgin. A Twilight Movie virgin, that is! What did you think I was talking about?

We’ve talked about our first everything’s on here… first time reading the books, first time seeing the NM trailer, first time seeing each other in years, there’s a first time for everything BUT we’ve never talked about the first time we saw the movie in the theater. And it just so happens the other day UC and I were having a conversation about just this subject and here’s what we had to say…

UC: In August after I finished the books I found out it was going to be made into a movie and i was PISSED that it was being made into a movie b/c i knew it would suck. I saw ‘that girl from that movie with adam brody’ and then Cedric as Edward and was like “what the?” i will NOT watch this.” but duh.. time went on
Moon: Hmmm Adam Brody… how about when you went and saw it?
UC: I found 4 random people to see the movie with and then had drinks at pf changs after and stayed quiet while they talked about how Edward was NOT cute enough and how cheesy it was and i just had this FEELING
Moon: (like the black eyed peas?)
UC: (yup, like that)

Follow the cut to read the rest of our first time

One cannot exist on Twilight alone

To Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade & whoever has the horrific job of making Renesmee come to life on the big screen,

A Warning not to mess with Twihards:

Moon: Can you EFFING believe David Slade and the props department for Eclipse? I mean, do they think we’re blind or something?! That Volvo is CHARCOAL! CHARCOAL!!
UC: I know, I mean.. that’s almost as bad as if Harry Clearwater had famous SHRIMP FRY or something
Moon: Or Newton’s ran a SHOE store and not an outfitters. Helllloooo we’re fans- We’re the readers. We’re gonna know this stuff!
UC: Do they think we’re Vampire Diaries fans or something? Ugh

Guys- learn from Cathy the Cougar’s mistakes. There were soooo many inconsistencies between Twilight the book and Twilight the movie.

• In the book, Bella’s first day at Forks High School is on January 19. In the film, her first day is in March. This is a MAJOR issue. MAJOR problems could happen because of the different dates. I can’t think of any right now, but I know it’s a MAJOR big deal.
• 

  Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

  Bella’s mom painted the kitchen cabinets YELLOW to bring ‘sunshine’ to Forks. The cabinets in the movie were WHITE. WHITE! What would it cost? Like $3.00 paint them yellow? You could’ve made Rob eat what craft services made for 3-4 days and cut his hot pocket budget back to make up for the lost $3.00.

• And in the movie when Bella entered Biology class and talked to Eric about getting her playlist for prom, she started to walk then pauses to look across the room towards Edward. In this shot the Armadillo is not on the shelf, and only what looks like a piece of paper is hanging there. Then the Armadillo appears on the shelf only after she has sat down at her desk and Edward moves the microscope towards Bella saying “Ladies first”. What is WRONG with you? Did you remember the Armadillo and then FORGET the armadillo? What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I just don’t even know what to say….
• And I was extremely offended by Bella’s outfit in the movie when she goes to meet the Cullens for the first time.  Jeans, a green top & a jacket? How do you think Old Navy felt when they saw that? They stocked up on khaki skirts in every store expecting to sell out because girls would want to look like Bella from the movie. They didn’t even sell one (oh wait- Cathy the Cougar bought one because she felt bad) Old Navy ended up donating them all to some orphanage in Russia. Those poor Russian girls (and boys)… walking around in mid-nineties styles.
• When Bella sees Jacob at the prom in the movie, he hasn’t grown significantly like in the book. Why!? WHY would you do that to us Cathy the Cougar? Did you not read the book? Jacob is supposed to grow! Jacob is a WEREWOLF! Werewolves aren’t small little baby boys. WHY!?
• Speaking of the prom, WHERE were the rest of the Cullen kids? This is a BIG DEAL that they weren’t there! A BIG DEAL.

Chris, David, poor chap who will have to make a fake baby look real, we’re fasting & praying that you do better than SHE did…… And to YOU, David Slade…. how dare you make the Volvo CHARCOAL. Chris… I better not find out that you make the Newton Outfitters employee vest YELLOW instead of Orange.

High expectations,
UnintendedChoice

How we really feel after the jump