Reasons to keep blogging about vampires

Dear faithful readers,

Quite often we receive emails from our beloved readers and without a doubt a first time emailer always says something like this:

UC & Moon,

Oh I feel like I’m writing to celebrities! You guys have no idea how lost I was before I found you. I’ve just stopped working for the past 3 days to read EVERY SINGLE post you wrote in the past! I think you are so funny and smart and SO freakin’ beautiful. I mean, UC, have you considered sending in a picture to Rob? He’d drop whatsherface in a second if he knew what you looked like. I don’t know how you guys do it- write letters- each and every day!

Love,
Your biggest fan

Okay so maybe I made SOME of that up, but without a doubt, at least once a day we get asked “how do you do it day after day?” Whenever I get those emails I want to write back:

IT’S 11:48PM AND I HAVE TO BE IN BED AT MIDNIGHT BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE UP AT 6:30 FOR WORK AND I HAVEN’T WRITTEN A SINGLE WORD OF MY LETTER TOMORROW. SO HOW DO I DO IT EACH AND EVERY DAY? HOW ABOUT I STOP. DO YOU WANT TO WRITE MY LETTER TOMORROW?

All in caps like a 12 year old (or my grandmother) for emphasis. Because some days, and I’ll be honest MOST days these days, I have NO inspiration. Nothing to write. Usually “how” I do it day after day is that I heard the news, read something funny, got a brilliant idea during the day at work. I start a draft or jot down ideas in no real form and then later that night when I’m home, I spend a little bit of time crafting it into a letter. The problem THESE days is that there’s no ideas flowing while at work. There’s no news to speak of or no funny things to make funnier. So no draft gets written, and I get home and want to watch the Olympics/Gossip Girl/Anything just so that I don’t have to write my letter. And that’s NOT fun.

But I don’t want to stop blogging about Vampires. I like blogging about vampires. (And I should probably add on to the “vampire-blogging” title and include things NOT related really at ALL to vampires but still somehow all relate back to vampires, like: pedophilia/monkeys/buttcracks/olive garden/lesbianism/XXL polo shirts/Taylor Swift/Paris’ Hilton’s ex’s etc. etc. etc.)

But I need encouragement. I need to remember WHY I do this. So I’ve decided to create a document. For Moon too because she’s in the same boat I am. Here are the reasons I came up with for why I can’t stop blogging about vampires:

Big Daddy Lautner1. We still haven’t met Big Daddy: The cream of the crop, the creme de la creme, the goal, my life’s mission and once it’s done I can die happy. And it hasn’t happened yet. Do you think it’s gonna happen if I give up LTT and go back to my boring blog with 58 followers (Aww that was mean- I love my boring blog. Sorry boring blog) NO. I must keep blogging about Vampires in order to hopefully one day meet Big Daddy Daniel Lautner, former pilot now In-N-Out destroyer/Olive Garden supporter. I know that the more I mention “Fish-o-filet” sammys in my letters, the better chance we’ll come up in a google search result for “Fish-O-Filet” and Big Daddy will see our site and think “They want to meet me!?” So if you’re reading this Big Daddy Daniel Lautner, Yes! We want to meet you. And we want to throw our hands 1/4 a way around you in a big hug. Or grab a bunch of friends to do a group hug so we can reach all the way around.

2. We still have two- maybe three- more movies: (F-M-L) And with epicness like Buttcrack Santa in Twilight, strong KungFu and “they’re not bears” in New Moon, you KNOW whatever Eclipse and Breaking Dawn #1 and #2 will bring will be THAT MUCH MORE EPIC! I mean, imagine all the jokes we’ll make when Taylor has to act like a guy/wolf in love eventually but not yet with a CGI baby. I mean, we’re gonna see Kristen with a prosthetic stomach. We HAVE to be around for that! The fandom needs us. We can’t let someone think “Oh, that’s not as awkward as I thought it was gonna be.” You’re wrong, fandom. We know this already. It is MORE awkward and we have to be around to remind you of that daily!

Meet Boo-Boo. Does that move look familiar?

3. Where will all your fine readers go? Back to boring un-named blogs that say things like “Here is a picture of Boo-boo Stewart hugging a little child. How sweet” NO! That cannot happen! There will be a day, mark my words, probably the summer between 9th and 10th grades, when Boo Boo’s balls drop, his voice deepens, he grows taller and muscular and confesses that “Boo Boo” was what his mom started calling him when he came in the house crying at age three saying “boo boo on my knee. boo boo on my knee” and his real name is James or Tim. And do you think the OTHER un-named boring sites will say, “Call Chris Hansen. James/Tim Stewart has entered our radar. Hold me back.” I don’t think so.

4. Someone needs to keep Kellan accountable in his faith. It’s tough being the hot piece of man meat that he is. He wants to stray. He wants to take those Calvin’s OFF but he doesn’t. Cuz he knows we’re watching. That’s why he climbed in a tree and read his Men of Faith Bible that he got at a Promise Keeper’s conference in 2005 with his dad and Uncle Jerry. If we weren’t around that would be him, naked in a tree reading a Hustler mag. We need to do this for Kellan.

So, faithful readers, I got us started but help me finish the list. Why should we keep on blogging about vampires. I will take the best reasons, add them to what I started and put the list into PDF form, laminate two copies, mail one to Moon, make her memorize it and say it EVERY day as our mantra.

Your faithful vampire blogger,
UnintendedChoice

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

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We wish you a Cullen Christmas

Dear LTTers,

Merry Christmas Eve! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, merry time of year when everyone says “Merry Christmas” to you and you look at them and say, “But I don’t celebrate Christmas” and they stare back at you, not understanding, in a santa hat!

Moon and I have objected ourselves to 2nd-hand embarrassment, yet again, to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Love,

UC & Moon

After the jump, read all the wonderful lyrics penned by @Brookelockart, Moon & myself. Print them out and have a family sing-a-long around the dinner table tomorrow! Continue reading

Become friends with UC & Moon: See Rob. And other stuff…

Oh hai there 8 pack, only 63 days until your birthday too. Take that Chris Hansen!)

Yep- you’re seeing this right. This is our second post of the day AGAIN! (See the first here) We asked a few of our readers turned real-life friends to talk about what LTT/LTR means to them. Today is Chelsea’s turn!

Dear Bunny & Noreen (aka I won’t give away your real names),

Congratulations on making it to the one year mark! A Happy Birthday of sorts.

I wish I could say that I was one of your OG’s (Old Girls, the ones who have been a part of it since the start) but as things are, I joined on pretty close to the start. I don’t know when or how I came across your lovely blog, but I know it was pretty early on. I used to do some stuff for Will over at NewMoonMovie, and I remember seeing you mentioned on his site, I also think I stumbled upon you one day with StumbleUpon, (or ADD for the interwebs as I like to call it.) But I digress.

Bet I can make that Kitty Meow

The important thing is, I found you. Angles sang. The clouds parted and the snark began to flow. Suddenly, LTT and LTR became a part of my everyday routine. I had to check it each day to see what new pearl of sarcasm had been dropped. Finally! People who thought about the same weird things in the books! Who also found the same things ridonkulously cheesy in the film as I did!

And the Friendship begins!

Thanks to Bunny and Noreen, I’ve made a ton of new friends too. And not just the invisible kind! The first time I met up with anyone from LTT/LTR was at a Sam Bradley show up in LA. It was myself, my friend Lauren, Vicky, Aja, and Noreen herself. Zomg I was so excited to meet ½ of the awesomeness behind LTT & LTR! (Cause you two are totes Awesome) Sam was fun, we laughed at all of the girls there *cough Goth Maria VonTrapp cough*, spotted Decoy Rob, and I asked Sam Bradley out and totes scared him away.  (Moon’s story from that night)

From then on things just got worse. I went to ComicCon with Moon and the other girls in July. I may have bitten her when Rob walked on stage because I was so excited.

LA LAdies at Midnight

I laughed so hard putting those little red ribbons on everyone!

Through Moon I met Ashley, who is totes my BFF now. I also got to be a part of the fabulous #LALadies gathering this November for the New Moon Premiere. (Insert pic of us at theater in front of the eclipse poster, cause I don’t have that one either) These women, whom I knew only from Twitter and the Forum, are now my friends. People I count on and look forward to talking to, even if it is just a quick “Hi!” on twitter. Carter, Lili, Val, Kristy, Jess, Jena, Phyllis, Jen, Darja, Moon, UC, Cynthia, Emily, and anyone I may have left out! You are all my friends, whether you like it or not!

Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob have become a pretty big part of my life, not just the blog, but everything and everyone that surrounds it. I see these girls almost every weekend now. We have sleepovers. We do stuff that isn’t Twi-related at all…but not often. We made friends with the paparazzi who may or may not tell us where Rob is staying so we can casually have brunch at his hotel in hopes of running into him.

So yeah, Bunny & Noreen, UC & Moon, thank you for all that you do in the name of Letters to Twilight. Here’s to making the next year even better!

Let’s Do This!

Chelsea

Follow Chelsea on Twitter!

Thanks, Chels! We love you and are so glad our crazy little blog brought you into our life! And I (UC) am so glad I finally got to hug you in person this past November! I still think those other shoes looked better with that dress though.. 🙂 jk jk jk XO

Don’t forget this is our 2nd-post of the day! I know, we’re crazytimes this week. Read the first one below (or here if you like to click) Don’t miss it. There’s a Giveaway (yes, another!) Let’s say it together: “They’re NOT Bears!”

Breaking down my Twilight memories

Dear Twilight,

Wow… you have really changed my life. I’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting this week since it’s our anniversary week, and I’ve been thinking back to a year ago at the start of it all. Moon & I are extremely bummed that we can’t locate that very first chat we had on 12/8/08 when we decided to start the blogs, but in my searching for that first conversation, I’ve come across a gem. Way back on 11/25/2008, Moon was going through her first read of the Twilight saga, and I was SO excited to finally have a friend to discuss the series with! I laughed re-reading this conversation, realizing how far we’ve come, how much we’ve changed and yet, how little has really changed! I’m gonna stop talking about it and instead, I’m gonna break down one of the first conversations Moon & I ever had about Twilight… vanity fair style!

My “Break down” is italicized between the lines of conversation and it’s green. Green is (what?) GOOD

Someday will cover our faces with that ribbon...

Losing Moon’s virginity

UC: oh miss Moon HI! did you read my blog yet? My review on Twilight the movie? because I forgot you didn’t finish book 3… *spoiler alert*
Book 3? Really UC? No one calls it that. It’s Eclipse
Moon: Thats where I just clicked on! About to read it!
UC: NOOO Stop! Until you finish the series…. I don’t want to give it away!!!
Moon: But I’m halfway through Eclipse? Don’t read it?
UC: Don’t- just because I give away my favorite part!! A part you’ll love
It involves the guy who runs around in jorts warming up the heart-breaker in a tent while the cold one looks on!
Moon: Oh man! I can’t wait. I didn’t read any last nite because I wanted to save it for the plane tonight!!
What? Moon? Is that you? The one who has been tempted to read my blog posts before they post in the morning and has been known to sneak in fanfic at opportune times- like during work or while at church? You WAITED for Eclipse!?
UC: oh yay! Good Idea
You sound 12, UC, saying “Yay” like that. Plus that’s not a good idea
UC: I forgot how good Eclipse was! I think I might read the last 1/2 again before I start Breaking Dawn 🙂 I’m such a loser/really awesome
The phrase you’re looking for is “That’s Normal”
Moon: TOTALLY awesome.
Welcome to the 80s
Moon: yea I’m LOVING Eclipse- might be favorite
It stays your favorite
Moon: Then I’ll probably get Breaking Dawn this week sometime
You’ll try, but every store will be out of it. So you’ll look hopelessly for a week

The one where we prophecize

UC: How long will you be at home with your parents? Until Sunday?
Moon: Monday I come back- decided to make a vacay out of it
UC: nice!!
Moon: stalk stephenie meyer
UC: Oh yay! She lives there, I forgot!
Oh UC… next thing you’ll tell me you don’t know Rob Pattinson’s middle name.
Moon: It’s so sad but I’m so hoping for some odd reason I see her
That hope never dies
Moon: I’ve regressed to age 14 and I’m ok with it
That’s (still) Normal
UC: haha I would want to see her too! And I know what you mean I’m seriously going crazy. I’m only listening to the soundtrack and I keep repeating songs
You’ll do that for another 6 months. You’ll never play that Perry Ferrell song you thought you’d learn to like ever again
Moon: Dude the soundtrack is killing me
Dude- Just wait until New Moon’s soundtrack. You’ll wanna kill yourself
UC: So my review of the movie is VERY similar to yours (I didn’t read yours until after I wrote mine) Except.. I added my opinions of seeing it a 2nd time which was PERFECT because I loved it even more
Moon: yea I’m thinking I need to see it again away from little girls
UC: Yes. it was SO different
Moon: I think I’ll be able to focus on it and not wonder what’s next and stop worrying about the cheesy special FX and enjoy
You won’t stop worrying about the cheesy FX because they don’t stop being cheesy
UC: right- I def. wasn’t focused first time around. [My husband] Mr. Choice didn’t think it was cheesy at all (the diamonds)
The what? Diamonds? Do you mean the sparkles? Oh UC….
UC: he said if it was anything more, he thinks it would’ve been cheesy.
He’s wrong. It was cheesy
UC: I could’ve used some more sparkle myself. Spoiler alert for my review. He LOVED it
Moon: Every dude or person who didn’t read the books really liked it
Is every ‘dude or person” you know a family member of Catherine Hardwicke? [side note: this was during the phase when Moon called every guy a dude]
UC: I know!
Moon: so I think it’s just the diehards who are trying to reconcile the whole thing to whatever they imagined
UC: He said it’s a shame it’s the teen demographic because it’s not going to get the credit and attention it deserves for being a really kick-a movie
Hahahaha UC print that out and remind Mr. Choice DAILY that he once said that. He won’t believe you….
Moon: EXACTLY! So many people are like that’s a YA novel. I’m like SO WHAT?!
Preach it
Moon: If they got a different director and some kick ass CGI/FX this could contend with the summer blockbusters- it’s supernatural
Preeeacch it!
UC: and the actors were soo good!
Uh… who do you mean? Jessica and Mike? And sometimes Rob?
Moon: It could be put it in there with Batman and stuff
Uh, what? Continue reading

Monday Funnies: UC & Moon do a dramatic reading

Dear New Moon,

The time has come. Today is the day. It’s finally happening. You premiere tonight in Westwood, California, and we can’t wait! We ran over to experience the mayhem of the 7 block, 700+ people long line last night and we were NOT disappointed. We took so many great pictures (including some of the surprise guest stars) had a lot of laughs and just enjoyed the insanity of the fandom.

And then we decided we’d like nothing more than to kick off this week together and ALL the memories to come (remember, it was our last time together in LA when “That’s Normal” was birthed) with a little video for you, inspired by some light reading I did on the plane ride west. Enjoy!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

EWscan

Be 2nd-hand embarrassed for us on The Forum and read how we beg Rob to love us tonight at the premiere on LTR