The Internet Has Spoken: Twilight is Lame

Dear people who don’t live in a Twilight bubble (aka normal people, most people in the universe & people I should spend more time with),

Sometimes when I see/hear/think of things in the Twilight world that you are also seeing/hearing/experiencing without being in the Twilight bubble yourself, I get really 2nd-hand embarrassed. Like, it’s one thing for ME to go to see a band play who’s lead singer is the baby mama of the 2nd-cousin of the father of the dude who plays Jacob’s sister Rebecca’s husband and see a crazed fan with a Twilight-themed tattoo and her fake lesbian life partner holding all 4 books plus a print-out of Midnight Sun for the the lead singer to sign, but for “normal” people to see that? Or even KNOW it exists? I apologize on behalf of the fandom.

I recently came across this website that has a ‘guide’ for all things Twilight called, “The Internet has spoken: Twilight is lame.” I read what they posted; I laughed along with them, and then I covered my face in 2nd-hand embarrassment because THEY think WE ALL are crazy for liking Twilight and are ALL crazy fans. And now I’m sure ALL FOUR of their readers probably agree with them. So I’m gonna do what any respectable 2nd-hand embarrassed person would do- share the embarrassment with all of MY readers so that we can, once again, thank the Twilight god (Buttcrack Santa, of course, turned into a god after his ascension into heaven) that we can proudly exclaim about all our Twilight actions: “That’s Normal.” (All our actions except attending that 100Monkey’s show. That was not normal! )

Enjoy today’s Monday Funnies after the jump! Continue reading

Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon:
ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 😦
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!
Continue reading

A tear jerker Twilight Thursday

Dear LTTers,

We’ve shared this week about the crazy letters we get from special Twilighters who provide us with countless laughs.  But for every 10 25 crazy emails we get, we read one that brings us to tears.  Today we’re going to set-aside the normal funny jokes & banter (I know you don’t believe me- you think I’m gonna post a picture of Buttcrack Santa singing “Friends are Friends forever” with Tequila Tomas, but I’m being serious) because we received a letter that touched us so deeply that it can’t not be shared:

To me the Twilight Saga has more meaning than most.
It has actually changed my life!

twibooksI know that sounds crazy but please let me explain:

Almost 3 years ago I had an accident that resulted in a head injury. I have been trying to re-learn everything, but without short term memory, it is a huge, frustrating, challenge. The best way to describe my life is like living the movie “Fifty First Dates” without the humor! I feel “lost in space” most of the time. My brain now reacts like pieces of a puzzle that have been thrown up in the air, and I am constantly trying to grab them to put them back in place! Reading had always been my escape- my passion- until the accident. Since then, no matter how hard I tried, I either couldn’t understand the most simplest of words, or couldn’t hold on to the information long enough so that I could follow the story. I had all but given up hope. Then came Twilight!

My daughter knew I’d love the movie, but because I can’t ever go out (It’s very hard with a head injury, you look “normal”, so people don’t understand if you’re dizzy or say the wrong word, and it became too embarrassing (especially when people assumed I was drunk!) I stopped going anywhere). So she waited for the DVD to be released and didn’t tell me she also bought the book. Using the movie as a guideline, I tried to read the book. What I couldn’t follow or understand while reading, I would use the movie I had loaded onto my computer, to refer to. It took many months and lots of notes, but I DID IT! I read my 1st book! I can never find the words to express how I felt the day I came to the last page! A precious gift had been given back to me!

How do I thank everyone for creating a movie with characters that were interesting enough for me to WANT to read the book. A story, so well written that I REFUSED to give up until I finished reading it. Although I lose pretty much all of it after I sleep, it’s a worthwhile challenge to watch the movie and read the book every day, to keep practicing! (Although I have to admit on a couple of occasions, I made myself stay awake all night because I was at such a great part in the book, I didn’t want to lose it!!) I must hold the record for having watched and read Twilight the most times!! A friend of mine was even keeping count for awhile, I think she stopped after 122 or something! I wish I could personally thank Stephenie Meyer, Melissa Rosenberg, Catherine Hardwicke & the entire cast for giving back to me the gifts of courage, strength and determination. Who knows what is next, maybe I WILL find the courage to go OUT to see New Moon! The thought alone terrifies me, but I know that I have to keep trying, that I can NEVER give up because dreams do come true! My most sincere thanks to all!

Sincerely,
Cyndi

How many tissues did you go through during that story? To quote Jessica Stanley, “I know, right?

Cyndi shared with us that LTT/LTR have made it onto one of her infamous post-its, to remind her to read it everyday! And even though it sometimes takes her hours to read what we write, when she finishes and ‘gets’ the joke, she is laughing along with all of us!

Cyndi- you joked that you were going to have to write a post-it note to remind yourself that your letter is going to be posted. Hope the reminder worked & we didn’t scare you! Thank you again for sharing your beautiful story and not only touching me & Moon, but I’m guessing everyone who reads this post today!

Kellan bear hugs from both of us,
UC & Moon

PS: Decided to throw you a little “Cullen Smile” after the jump Continue reading

Twilight fans in an uproar over news of Kristen Stewart nudity

Peek-a-boo

Peek-a-boo

Dear Kristen,

Who says we’re not behind you? Who says we’re always so cruel to you? Today’s post is a big ol’ “In yer face” to all those people who hate on us because we may have, once or twice, poked fun at you. Today we’re coming along side of you to tell you how proud we are that you’re taking a stand. We’re cheering you on as you say ‘eff you’ to all the fans who think of you as virginal Bella, holed up in a hotel room with respectful, caring Robward; making love by a fire, sipping champagne through a straw while taking bubble baths together and talking about the names of your future children.

According to a very reliable source:

“The teen star [Kristen] will play a young lap dancer and prostitute in James Gandolfini’s gritty new film Welcome to The Rileys. Reports suggest Stewart walks around naked in many scenes and was so terrified of stripping on camera she insisted Twilight co-star and pal Nikki Reed join her on the set of the film in New Orleans, Louisiana.”

…some fans-turned-critics claim Stewart has “sold out” and wants to safeguard her career versatility by showing a more adult on-screen persona for a change.

Standing up and applauding Girl, it’s about time you bore it all for movie goers in the 12 select cities across the nation who are privileged to a special 3 night showing of your limited release movie. And for the 8,300 people who will buy the DVD. And the 58,000 pervy men who will jack off to your naked scenes found at KristenStewartXXX.com (website ©Moon&UC 2009)

kstewcatfish

The Director told me to spin until the catfish flattens out into the other direction

I love that you are defying expectation and playing a stripper & prostitute and getting naked for all the world internet to see. It’s high time we see some more Twilight stars nude rather than just Ashley & (basically) Kellan. I thought we’d have to wait until Xavier, bitter because making out with a red-headed mom in Eclipse didn’t launch him to stardom, secretly leaks a sex tape of him & Justin Chon to Perez Hilton, but I’m glad we don’t have to wait that long.

Don’t worry about showing off your naked body. It’s not like anyone (aka me) will be comparing themselves to you. No one will even notice your small boobs in action cause they won’t be able to see them, and no one will bask in the glory that my boobs their boobs are larger.  I can’t foresee anyone getting excited over a close up camera angle of your thighs because they could potentially spot some cellulite or spider veins (or at least see the spot where they might show up someday.) And I know that one of the disadvantages of being a skinny girl is that the minute you eat even a grain of rice, you can see it protruding from your belly. But I doubt anyone will notice the fried catfish poking through your middle area that you chowed down on the night before you shot the scene where you’re swinging scantily-clad around a pole. No one has a need to find the inperfections in the woman who is most likely screwing the most beautiful man to currently walk the earth. You don’t have to worry about a thing.

But selfishly I am looking forward to finding out what the above mentioned beautiful man sees in you. Do you have a golden va jay-jay? Will the audience be able to tell the number of kegels you do on a daily basis just by looking at you? Do you have a nice little booty tucked away in those skinny jeans and can you shake it better than Shakira, Fergie & Beyonce combined? And what does Rob see in your small bosom (we know he’s a big jugs man)? Does Heineken come pouring from your nipples with just the softest squeeze?

I know, right? Two words: Photo Shopped

I know, right? Two words: Photo Shopped

I know I tend to surround myself with the best, the brightest, the least 2nd-hand embarrassing, the funniest, the hottest and smartest Twilight fans around, but who are these “Twilight fans in an uproar” that are upset about you showing off your 107 lb frame? I, for one, applaud your artful decision to bare it all. And I promise that after the reviews of the movie come out and compare your portrayal of a stripper to the flopping of a slippery catfish, you can come on over to your friend UC’s house, and I’ll show you how it’s done.

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Give KStew some love in The Forum
See what Moon pulled out of her magic hat for LTR

And the “Twi Dork of the Day” Award goes to…

Dear Twilight lovers,

I have to apologize. I really goofed up. I’m really nervous to admit this and I hope you forgive me.  Go easy on me okay? It’s been a long week and I accidentally clicked on the snail & dragon penis Moon posted Friday 3 times, so I’m a bit fragile. And plus with the news of Hughbert– Rob possibly being in love with a handsome Australian man- this is just the icing on the cake.  I was bound to mess up. You can’t be perfect for forever. And you have to admit I’ve been pretty damn near perfect since we met. Okay, I’m stalling…

I forgot about Bella & Edward’s anniversary. (cowering in fear) I KNOW- what kind of Twilight blogger am I? I should be ashamed of myself. I missed a perfectly good oportunity to give a “Twi Dork of the Day” award out to whoever remembered that fact.

Thanks to TwiCrack Addict for reminding me and being the winner of our VERY FIRST Twi-dork award! This means nothing except you have bragging rights. You can make people respect you more by saying “I was a Twi-Dork on Letters to Twilight- listen to me dammit!” (To be fair, Moon gets Twi-Dork of the day awards quite often from me when she pulls names like “Kiowa” (the wolf) outta thin air & the date when Rob signed on to Twilight)

Am I forgiven? Perhaps you’ll forgive me after I leave you with some anniversary images.  And my opinion on them, of course.

  • They are very well done
  • They are also very 2nd-hand embarrassing. Cuz it’s really Rob & Kristen. Not Bella & Edward. And they’re just kids, fooling around in a hotel room while Rob learns where the “little man in the boat” is.
  • But they should also hang on to the images. In case he learns where the little man is… and they one day tie the knot…

3248419441_c76b017661

anniversary

Edward-Bella-twilight-series-540011

There’s a debate going on about which anniversary this is. Is it 5 years? Just 1? Or 3? I’m really worked up about it. I really need to know. Just kidding. I don’t give a crap. Happy Anniversary Edward & Bella- I hope you feast on a big ass giraffe or elephant or something on an anniversary safari trip to Africa….I’m sorry I missed the actual day of your anniversary- I could’ve had Moon photoshop something brilliant in your honor- like you taking a elephant ride through Kenya and then after you’re done, chowing down on the very same elephant.

Forgive me friends…. I have… sinned,
UnintendedChoice

Celebrate on The Forum
Tell Rob Congrats on the wedding annivesary for the character he plays over on LTR

Annversary Banner by Everglow– who could technically get a Twi-Dork award of the day from Twicrack since they were the ones that reminded them of the anniversary! Pass on the Twi-Dork love!

3rd image: ivabella via FanPop

Twilight museum of art (and crap)

Dear Fans of LTT and Fans of art,

We spend so much time making fun of things on LTT that I bet most people think Moon & I are the meanest people in real life. We’re not usually. I thought it was time to celebrate some of the beautiful things that come out of the fandom. Cuz there are some. I’m being serious. Don’t think that I’m gonna pretend like they’re great & then show you the most second-hand embarrassing art EVER that surely would star in the “Second-Hand Embarrassing Art Museum” in Manhattan (that doesn’t exist… yet)

Let’s stroll together through the Twilight Museum of Art….

Twilight___New_Moon_by_ember_snow

This scene found on google images beautifully depicts the theme of racism throughout the Twilight Saga. Wait. Were you aware of those themes? That instead of being a story of girl stuck between vampire & werewolf it’s really a story of a girl choosing between those paler than her or darker than her? Me neither. Okay, so maybe that’s not what the artist was trying to say, but isn’t art in the eye of the beholder? That’s what I saw here, but I still think it’s beautiful!

Alice_by_RinianAlice, drawn by Rinian, looks as cute as I had pictured her while reading the series. I wish I could be best friends with a cartoon character

eclipse___Tied_Up_by_shirohatoLOVE this picture of Bella and the two different colored ribbons representing the choice she has to make. Also love that she seems like a ballerina because, I don’t know about you, but I could’ve used less of a klutzy Bella.  By shirohato

Rosalie__s_Unhappy_Ending_by_Eclipse_AwayThis is my favorite piece that I’m sharing with you on our journey through the Twilight museum of art. The artist explained that this is a representation of Rosalie’s unhappy ending. If you look closely you’ll see her ghost in the picture, too. I have goosebumps. Found here on deviant art

bellaedwardThere is so much Bella & Edward art out there. Mostly because there are so many great pictures of Robert & Kristen together- so people just use their pictures as inspiration. While often times they can be good (although mostly they’re not), I love this because it’s the artist’s vision of Edward & Bella. Plus added with the quote from New Moon (appropriate placed- not inked in an armpit or doodled on the back of a minivan) it’s incredibly powerful! Found here

See! Wasn’t that fun!? To take a walk through the Twilight art gallery and, maybe laugh a little less, but instead be inspired!? And Look at me! I am being so nice today. Come on- you have to admit it, you like nice UC….

Fine… it’s hard for me too.. I’ll cave… after the jump, enjoy the good stuff…. Continue reading

FanFiction and Twilight: Do we or Don’t we

Confession found on PostSecret.blogspot.com (click)

Confession found on PostSecret.blogspot.com (click)

Dear Twilight,

I’ve learned a lot because of you.  I know that despite not having a real celebrity crush for 25 years of my life, it just took a book about vampires & an attractive male lead to bring out my inner teenager. I learned that people other than my geeky cousin can find friends on the Internet & that most some people aren’t weirdos. And I learned what in the world FanFiction was. That’s right- up until we started LTT & LTR I had never even heard of Fan Fiction.

I know you’ve probably been wondering why Moon or I have never discussed FFic on LTT. We’re grown-women. We say bad words & talk about naughty things- why aren’t we openly discussing how turned on we get when Jasper makes Bella feel attracted to him and then they get it on while Edward and Esme do it in the kitchen after he reads her mind and sees that him preparing a morning omelet makes her hot? Welllll…I’m kinda ashamed. And for a long time I pushed it off even thought we were getting emails with FF links sent to us on a daily basis. Then finally, after reading Breaking Dawn my 3rd time through and getting frustrated w/ SMeyer’s Fade to Black, I looked up some good ol’ Isle Esme FanFic. And man, was it good! It’s my “thing” that I do when a TwiVirgin finishes the series. I send her an e-mail with the link and a simple “You’re welcome.” No explanation. They thank me. Always.

Now words like “Wide awake,” “lemons,” “unicorn,” and “Domward” are regular parts of my vocabulary. Seriously. Oftentimes 10 times a day I’ll yell, “DOMWARD, I’m Wide Awake & I want some lemony unicorns.” No I don’t. And I’ve probably read a total of 3 FF since my initial jump into non-fade to black territory (and started and never finished countless others). I think most (not all) FanFiction is horribly written, most is incredibly cheesy, most say “unconditionally & irrevocably” way too often, and most are a waste of time. But the select few I’ve read that meet my strict “This Twilight FanFic better not suck” guidelines have been amazing. And I don’t regret reading them (even though I’m still ashamed.)

wideawakeI’m not going to review the FanFic I have read- there are plenty of other sites for that. I’m not even really going to tell you what I have read cuz it’s not really important, but I am going to explore the FanFic phenomenon with the help of some amazing LTT readers.

After the jump, check out the survey I did with: Brooke, Mrs. P, Veddersgirl, Kristin, Too_Far_gone, Marta, Gozde, Vickyb, Jbell, Southfriend and Moon PLUS some special FanFic thoughts from two girls anti FanFic: janetrigs & limeslice Continue reading

Our Crazy Twilight Life

Dear LTTers,

If you think Rob & Kristen have had a crazy time since Twilight made it big, you should see what happens to Moon & I in our lives. We were just two little twenty-somethings, minding our own business, breaking down that 1 hour long Vanity Fair vid that we love so much when BAM- we suddenly have a blog bigger than we ever expected where sometimes, when UC writes a post about Cougars & Robert Pattinson, it gets reposted on a blog who’s description is:

Catering to men leaving the country for a good time

(They also give re-post love to blogs about hot Asian girls with sexy legs)

And right before I got the good news about us being the new spokeswomen for prostitution in Thailand, I signed into wordpress.com (our blogging platform) to approve some comments and I noticed that wordpress thought our post about Cougars and Robert Pattinson deserved the term “Hawt.” And they decided to throw my face nice & big next to the post- ensuring that everyone will now think I am the cougar instead of the 26 year old I actually am, and solidifying the fact that my dad will find out I run this blog instead of do work at his company since he knows every single thing about every single cougar in the Tri-state area.

Daddy, I promise I work on the blog from 5:15pm-11:15pm. Not during office hours

Daddy, I promise I work on the blog from 5:15pm-11:15pm. Not during office hours

And then there was that time when Moon was in her office, minding her own beeswax, and her co-worker (the goddess who introduced her to the Twilight series) IMed her and said “You gotta check out this hilarious new blog I found: LetterstoTwilight.com” and Moon frantically tried to play it off like she was surprised to hear of this brand new blog until she finally gave up and confessed she runs the blog and moved on to trying to figure out how to explain to her coworker where she gets the time to run a blog (Coworker: blog running always happens from the hours of 5:15pm-11:15pm- don’t worry. I can vouch for Moon)

Smile Girls. Someone approves your fakelesbian-ship

Smile Girls. Someone approves your fakelesbian-ship

And sometimes, when I am drifting off to sleep while trying to clear our LTT e-mail inbox thinking “please let this be the last one. God I promise I will never let 3 weeks go by without replying to e-mails every again,” I come across a gem like this:

im deeply in luv with all characters from twilight saga. i hear tht ppl think nikki and kristen saposably are in an affair??? well who cares i luv them both and i will stick up for them as long as i live. both are best friends for each other and best friends are always close…extremely close. so they may have tap kisses here and there but those can be friend kisses or not. i mean look at nikki shes beautiful im a 15 y/o girl and if i had the chance to kiss her i would same for kristen. im not bi or les but hey i wouldnt and dont care what ppl would say.

And when all these things happen within a few days of each other, I think to myself, “Those Twilight kids have it easy- Moon & I are the ones with the crazy lives.”

And then at 12am Saturday morning when I’m in a video/audio/text chat room with 11 LTT/LTR pals, and everytime a new “guest” arrives I ask ‘Is that you, Rob?”, Moon and I end up having a side conversation and gushing how 6 months ago, we knew none of the girls (and one unicorn!) we were chatting with. And we will take the people who mistake us for cougars, the co-workers who find out our secrets, the jailtime in Thailand for soliciting prostitutes & the crazy e-mails, just because we love all of you. And we also believe it’s about time we share more of the crazy e-mails we receive, so this will become a more regular feature!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

What in the world is going on in Rob’s world over on LTR?
Chat it up! In The Forum

How do people know I like Twilight?

Dear Twilight,

I might be a little paranoid.  My Facebook quote has said for awhile:

Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…

twilight-book-coverI do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly

A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.

Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:

You found me on facebook!?  What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know.  I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.

I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.

Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.

So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.

Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. ❤ K

We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.

Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..

Nah, “That’s Normal”
UnintendedChoice

Be Normal in The Forum
Lust over Rob on LTR
Read more Twilosophy here

So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?


Stuff guys say about Twilight and about me meeting Rob

This unicorn needs to call me. I need new content

This unicorn needs to call me. I need new content

Dear LTTers,

I have a confession to make. After 6 and 1/2 months of blogging at least once a day about Twilight-related stuff, sometimes it’s difficult to come up with content. So occasionally….. I force it. I’ll check my favorite Twilight Saga blogs: NewMoonMovie or TwiCrackAddict and read a headline like “Solomon Trimble: coming to a K-mart near you” and run to my husband and say “Great news! Solomon Trimble, the guy who played Sam (we think) in Twilight but didn’t get rehired b/c he wasn’t studly enough, is gonna be folding sheets in the Martha Stewart section in the Kmart up in Qtown.” Then I wait. What used to happen is that my husband would say something funny. Then I’d say “YES!” and quickly run to draft up a post on my computer. But he’s caught on. He no longer responds to me whenever I mention anything Twilight-related (However, he does respond whenever I mention Rob. He says “He’s a tool”)

So me catching “stuff guys say about Twilight” hasn’t been happening as naturally as it once did. However, it’s been my lucky week because I’ve just captured 3 gems:

1. My friend Jen e-mailed me a little story about the guy who sits next to her at work. He heard on the radio that Rob’s abs were airbrushed on in the New Moon Volterra scene and was appalled. Then this conversation happened between Jen, a girlfriend & her guyfriend:

Girlfriend: (saying to Jen) Hey Arizona, how you likin’ the rain? (UC Note: I can’t even count the number of ‘arizona how you likin’ the rain’ and ‘forks-like weather’ references I’ve heard recently in Pennsylvania. It hasn’t stopped raining for a month)
Guyfriend
: What are you girls talking about?
Jen
: Twilight
Guyfriend
: Oh geez. Yeah, rain…I hope he gets caught in the rain and it washes his airbrushed abs off. Maybe I’ll airbrush 3 extra feet on myself (Jen note: Joe is 5’4″ tall)

See what else guys say after the jump! Continue reading