A Very Twi-Weekend, Part 2 (part 1 to come later)

Enjoy this VERY entertaining story from LTT readers turned real life loves of our lives Ashley & Chelsea

Twi related costumes? Check! Dignity? Back at home!

Second working title “Please don’t hate us!”

Dear Creation Entertainment TwiCon 2010,

As a means of satiating our Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse needs, Chelsea and I went to the Twilight Convention in Los Angeles at the grand old Marriott this Saturday. This would be part 2 of our crazy weekend…we hung out with KStew and Joan Jett on Thursday…but that’s another post! So as a continuation of our “Very Twi-Weekend” (Runaways Thursday, Remember Me Friday) we decided to go to TwiCon! Chelsea and I resurrected our Twi-alter egos as the hot busty Rosalie and Alice, and of course checked our dignity at the door.

Why God, WHY??!!!

We were running a bit late so we missed the Hillywood introduction but we were JUST in time to walk in and hear the sweet sultry sound of Chaske Spencer’s deep and velvety voice. He was doing the Q&A session and answering all kinds of Twi-related wolf pack questions. Like, “What’s your favorite fruit?”… *bitchface* Kiowa Gordon followed after Chaske and was a bit quiet, reserved, and a little shy. He got pretty comfortable after a while and jumped off the stage to walk around the crowd. He stopped to give a girl a hug and then recognized Chelsea from when she saved him from a pack of rabid fangirls at the New Moon red carpet line. He then performed a song with his band, “Touche”. Did you know he had a band? We didn’t either! Apparently it was their first live performance! Maybe he can play with 100 Monkeys! Hot Alex Meraz was next and was super hilarious! He did a spot-on imitation of KStew *stutter blink blink hand in hair stutter* being nervous before filming the scene where Bella hits Paul. Alex thought he would tease her by blowing her kisses…the Stew did not approve. He said after that she had no problem hitting him. After all of the Q&A we now knew all of their favorite fruits. Which is very crucial information…*bitchface*

Follow the cut to hear the rest AND see some Charly Bewley!
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Krazy Kidd’s had a krazzzzy year in the Twilight fandom

*One of our lovely pals and long team readers, Krazy Kidd (that’s her name for a reason!) is celebrating her 1 year LTT/LTR anniversary and wanted to write a letter to us all*

At least we meet!

Dear LTR/LTT:

Guess what January 19th is…yup you guessed it…it’s my one year anniversary with you and I wanted to write you a letter to kind of sum up this past awesomesauce year and all the amazing people who I’ve been able to meet, hang, and have fun with through the LTR/LTT blog! I know time has flown by quickly huh?! It seems like yesterday when I thought I was losing my mind because I didn’t think anyone would understand my “Acute Fondness” with all things Rob/Twilight! To think that all this love for both the books and Rob have brought me close to some amazing people who have become part of my life and have helped me be where I am today…it just amazes me! So for today’s post I hope you enjoy the sappiness that my letter brings as I thank you and these people for creating such great memories this past year.

(drunk) friends are friends forever

Before LTR/LTT I thought that I was alone in my love for the books and my creepy infatuation with Rob. None of my friends understood why I had read the four books in 5 days and why I continued to read them after the fact. They also didn’t see the appeal to Rob and thought I was probably losing my mind because to them he was no Brad Pitt. Luckily for me I happen to stumble upon this gem through another website as I was looking for information on Rob and his whereabouts since it was the time after the Twilight movie came out and he had somewhat disappeared…I know creepy…don’t judge. As I clicked on the link it brought me to the Letters to Rob website and as I read through the comments I couldn’t help but laugh and be relieved to find that other people also shared the love for the things that had taken up a huge part of my time at that moment. It was refreshing to see the approach that UC and Moon had towards the Twilight/Rob topics, with their wit and charm I was instantly drawn in and haven’t been the same ever since.

Some hot ladies and a unicorn

As time progressed the blog got bigger and more people started hanging out and leaving comments. The friendships I was beginning to build through this blog were blossoming. At the same time my personal life was going through a downward spiral…you see I was going through some things at the time and I remember getting onto to LTT one morning and seeing this https://letterstotwilight.wordpress.com/2009/05/05/the-new-moon-contest-winner-that-should-have-been/ …I felt like UC was speaking directly to me with this post…to say I broke down was an understatement. I emailed UC that day and just let her know how much the post had touched me and how it spoke volumes to me. She was amazing and friendly and just…there for me. I felt comfortable and I pretty much spilled my guts and felt better afterward. She then put me in touch with another amazing girl BrookeLockart aka Brookie who was going through a similar situation. Brookie was there for me 100% and showed unconditional support no matter the distance between us. You see LTR/LTT to me is more than just a blog where I can shoot the shiz or laugh at the 2nd-hand embarrassment that happens. That day I knew that this blog brought people together and the people that this blog has connected and help build bonds with are wonderful individuals and I can see these people being in my life for a very long time. I know I totes sound like a hallmark card, so cliche and cheesy, but I just want to give you an idea of how amazeballs the LTR/LTT peeps are!

Follow the cut to read the rest of Krazy Kidd’s letter
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Twilight cast member endorsements!

Dear Twilight Stars-

I’ve been thinking about you lately (shocking, I know) and I’ve thought about some ways you can parlay this popularity into cash money in your pockets! You’re seen daily with a variety of products and all without an endorsement deal! And it struck me, you guys need to be spokeswhores for your favorite products! Talk about making a little mad money on the side and all for doing what you normally do!

I’m sure you’re skeptical of attaching your name and likeness to any product so I’ve drafted up a couple proofs to show you the possibilities!

Now Wolves, you guys are a little less known that the main characters currently but together as a group you have more star power, so when I saw these pics…

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

Hot men in UGG-ly boots!

I knew you’d be the perfect spokesmen for UGG boots! Over the last few years the boots have gone from must have to must only wear at home but with you guys sporting them you can boost the demand for not only the women’s line but the mens! And you’re already doing it, all you have to do is walk around on set, flash a little chest, look whimsical and presto, instant spokeswhores!

I vant yo suck yo blood

I vant yo suck yo blood

I just saw these pictures of you in dracula/goth/vampire shiz for some MTV show and thought, wow you would be the perfect spokeswhore for America’s favorite psuedo parent scaring (except Moon Mom) store in the mall.  Goth kids everywhere would weep black smudged tears of relief to see someone who really “gets it.” Cure and Joy Division albums not included.

Follow the cut to see more Twilight spokesperson opportunities
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Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Dear Kellan-

Most people might not know but you were the very first person we ever wrote a letter to so you hold quite a special place in our hearts. But it seems as of lately Letters has been ruled by the holy trinity of: The Jailbait, the Sourpuss and the Holy Rob with little time left over for that hot brother. So since we declared yesterday Mike Newton Appreciation Day I’ve decided to declare today, a Sunday (of course!) Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day. I know a ton of our readers are HUGE Kellan fans and heck, we love your face and your love for life affirming literature too!

So let’s talk about the reason I heart you Kellan…

kellangetbitbyfankellanandfan

One of my favorite things about you is your ability to “whore yourself out” for lack of a better phrase and that means that you’ll show up to any Hotel Ballroom within the continental US if there’s a Twilight Convention banner hanging over head and then gladly pose for pictures with total whackos and cute girls for hours on end. And not just any pictures you really get into it with hugs and prom poses and kisses. I gotta say I love you for it cause not everyone would do it or even feel comfortable with that kind of attention. But like any good fame whore/teddy bear you man up and smile!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

You were in a Hinder video. While I can’t personally stand Hinder or music like this, it makes me smile to see you as the High School Jock cause it’s pretty much you playing yourself! All they needes to add was a Bible Study scene and this could be a video of your life circa early 2000’s.

Follow the cut to see what else we appreciate about Kellan!
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Drunk texts, drunk dialing, drunk emails all about Twilight!

Paintings required

Paintings required

Dear LTT-ers,

You know that feeling, waking up the day after a particuarly crazy drunk fest and not quite rememebering how it all ended. Then you check your celly and realize you drunk dialed every ex you had in the last 5 years and left 10 minute messages about god knows what, then texted your Dad (accidently) about how eff-able that guy you just met is and then you realize you’re not wearing any pants and you’re on your porch. Trust we’ve all been there. And if you haven’t, well… what are you waiting for?

I think that may have happened to one of our dear readers because yesterday I checked our LTT email and read this gem which was clearly written after one too many gin and tonics at the Cat & Fiddle…

Heyheyy,, how much do you think they would charqqe to appear at a party?
 
Andd,, whenn aree KStew,, RPatzz,, andd TLaut makinqq ann aperance,, inn southh florida??

Drunk in South Florida (this is what I would imagine he/she would sign this if they hadn’t passed out before hitting send)

This could be YOU!

This could be YOU!

Well dear heart either your keyboard is sticky from all those gin and tonics or you are the victim of drunk emailing gone wrong. But I like where your head’s at so let’s explore this one shall we… How much do I think they would charge for an appearence? Well probably depends on which star you’re wanting to get at your party. Let me break down what I think each one would “cost”

Kellan – he seems like a Twi-whore going to all these Twiconventions so I’m gonna guess, a coach ticket to your nearest airport, a corner room at the nearest Holiday Inn, 100 bucks “mad money,” and his choice of Twihards to be available after his check in at the hotel. What they do after depends on their contracts. If you want Kellan to return I suggest one dress up like a naughty Sunday School teacher. At least that’s what I hear he likes.

Jackson – a spare corner in the venue for 100 Monkeys to set up. Cause obviously his contract includes a clause that they will play at the closest dive bar or AT your event. He also requested that you hand wash the bananager’s costume, cause trust after a 3 month tour of the east coast’s finest shit holes that thing smells like death.

Ashley – 30k. She ain’t stupid and she’s got an open line of credit at Barneys. Duh.

Nikki – Who?

Peter – A supply of ugly shirts by Affliction set up near his autograph table, a video camera so he can record his friend that no one care about, dancing in a bikini and room enough in the parking lot to park the RV. Oh and when you introduce him you must preface it with: “Mike Dexter is a GOD!”

Gil Birmingham – Bus fare to the event, Greyhound if they travel to your town. And the finest assortment of 40year old+ moms who are just there to “chaperone” their daughters at the event. Right, ladies, RIGHT.

Taylor – I spoke with Big Daddy Lautner and this is what he said it would take to get Taylor at your party: 100 dollar gift card to McDonalds, one of those Dominoes Pizza Bread Bowls in the hotel toom upon check in and a supply of new Polo button up shirts, size XXXL. Hey, don’t ask me that’s what Big Daddy said Taylor needs!

Kristen– You’re joking right? She’d give you the ‘bitch please’ stare through the phone and then hang up on your ass for being so stupid. But maybe if you send her some “herbal treats” before you call it might help the pitch.

Rob– His only request is that Moon be present, ready, willing and able to help him with his every need. Oh and maybe a baseball cap from your local tourist shop. Anything with a lobster, flower or whatever represents South Florida. He loves those free hats.

As for your other question, When will Rob, KStew and Taylor make an appearence in South Florida? My guess is the 10th of never… or maybe after you do the above.

Good luck Drunk in South Florida!!

hangover6Moving on… A while ago we featured one of my favorite sites Texts from Last Night on a Monday Funnies post. Texts from Last Night which is a site where people submit funny/inapporpriate texts they’ve receieved usually sent when people were of questionable sobriety. Well they’re at it again because recently JodieO alerted us to a new Twilight related Text that was posted.

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/47253

So JodieO has this to say…

“Have you guys heard of the website www.textsfromlastnight.com ?  If not, it’s just a site where you send in strange or funny texts.  I consider myself fairly worldly, but the more I read it, the more impressed I am at how drunk and slutty some people can be.  Anyway, There was one about Rob that caught my eye: http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/view/47253
 
(706): i just met rob pattinson in italy. he’s so stupid, i feel like i would have to say “your penis goes here!”
 
While I would be surprised to learn that he really is stupid, it still wouldn’t be a deal-breaker for me.
 
Drawing a map, just in case!
 
JodieO

Amen JodieO AMEN! I’m getting mine printed up and lamenated for when Rob comes back to me in LA. You can never be too prepared!

FYI we LOVE getting these emails! Please keep them coming oh and add our email to your phone for the next time just such on occasion arises. And by occasion I mean every day after 6! Email us letterstotwilight at gmail dot com!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

Hop on over to Letters to Rob!
Drunk post in the forum! We don’t mind!

Your laughs are directly proportional to your tears with these Monday Twilight Funnies

Dear LTT-ers,

Welcome back to hell after a nice long holiday weekend, at least for our fellow US friends, and for everyone else well, just welcome back. So are you like me and you have work piled up on your desk that you put off last week cause you were “busy with other projects?” When what really happened is you were in a Robert Pattinson fueled daze from OD-ing on all the pics and videos from the set of Remember Me and just couldn’t pull it together long enough to do that report or create that power point presentation for your super important meeting? Yea, me too. Well I’ve got the perfect compromise… need to look like you’re busy catching up, but really want to peruse the interwebs for what happened in the Rob/Twi world over the weekend? I present you with some Twilight themed graphs and diagrams courtesy of Graphjam.com. Keep these open in a separate tab while you check all the usual Twi site suspects this morning and when the boss walks by you can click back over here and he’ll think you’re hard at work with only the bottom line in mind when it’s really Rob’s bottom that’s on your mind (Hit it! remember that one?!).

people-hate-twilighgraph
Obviously this graph was made after they saw one of three things:
1. Attending (by mistake) a 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, or other random Twi-affiliated band’s concert (Canvas tote bags, Monkey hats, Goth Maria Von Trapp, anyone?!)
2. The Pattinson Pants lady in her natural habitat (a Twi-conference in line to meet Gil Birmingham)
3. Getting in the middle of a heated Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate after accidentally standing in the New Moon midnight showing line

cultfollowinggraph
I think some of us (especially the OG fans pre 2008) can testify to this one. The more popular the saga gets because of the movie the less they want to be apart of the fandom. The crazy stalkers, the cheapening of the storyline, the lame merchandise, the pop cultural saturation. We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and remember the reason we love Twilight is because of the story. Stay strong yall! Don’t let the CAS get ya down!

bookswith
We’ve all been there, trying to explain to your skeptical friend why Edward and the other vampires SPARKLE in the sunlight. But they’re vampires, they’re not supposed to go in the sun anyway! Ok, ok it’s a FANTASY just go with it!

Oh crap here comes your boss! Minimize MINIMIZE!!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

See what UC’s up to over there with Rob
Commiserate with other folks in the daily chat thread over at the Forum!