Big Daddy & Taylor go to the Olive Garden “where they’re family”

Hmmmm I can almost taste "The Tour of Italy"

Dear Big Daddy,

I see that you convinced Taylor to go to the Olive Garden for a lunch of all-you-can-eat “Soup, Salad and Breadsticks” so that you can finally get that last punch on your frequent diner card. Free chocolate lasagna with you next meal here you come! It’s also nice that you swung by Santa Monica Ave to pick up a local tranny to participate in your “Launter for a day” charity that you started with the family. Every weekend the family picks up a stray tranny/hobo/Disney star to “adopt for the day” and show them what Lautner-style hospitality is really all about. What they don’t know if that for every diner you bring in you get an extra punch on your card, so really it’s cutting your time till you get the free dessert in half. You’re SO smart, no one could pull a “shocker” on you! You’re pretty much the reason Outback had to stop their frequent diner program, after a week of consecutive lunches with the cast of The Suite Life plus all the ladies from Jumbo’s Clown Room (look it up) they almost went bankrupt from giving out so many free Bloomin’ Onions. Way to stick it to the man!

LTT: Where you’re family,
Themoonisdown

Black v neck? Check! Shiteous Nikes? Check! Borrowed plaid shirt? FAIL!

Dear Taylor,

So either Rob gave his costars personalized shiteous Nike’s for Xmas or this is a not-so-silent plea for GQ to name you their number 1 Best Dressed Male in 2011. Well played friend, well played!

XO
Moon

Follow the cut for an extra special Saturday surprise… you should defs follow the cut if your name is UC
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The Lautner Family Christmas letter

Today, we’re bringing you a very special family Christmas letter:

December 2009                     Issue 19, Vol 4

Family trip to the jersey shore in 06

To our Family, friends, and all the folks over at BigDaddyFan.net,

Been a big year for the Lautner family. May have heard about all the successes young Taylor has had. It’s been great having a lot of young beauties hanging around. I can get lonely ever since Debbie left. I’ve been trying to get back out on the dating scene. When Debbie split I thought I’d just hit a couple hockey games with the son, maybe hop a plane over to ol’ Pari’, breakout the handheld and find a companion, but it seems Taylor has more luck in that department. Not that I’m complaining. This blonde that has been hanging around lately is a real cutie. We have this inside joke where I goose her every time she walks by. She gets a kick out of that. Haven’t seen her in awhile come to think… They seem to be spending a lot of time over at her place. Hmm.. I’ll have to cook her up my world famous “Big Daddy triple pounder, double fried burger with pepperjack, mozzarella & swiss cheese burgers” to entice her to come around more.

You may have heard that I’ve taken some time away from the airline industry. The company no longer felt it safe for me to hook two seatbelts together to stay in the pilot seat and there wasn’t room in the budget for a bigger belt. Just need to drop another 40-50 and I can retake my tests and hopefully get back up there in the air

News from the around the Valley: I’ve been really busy volunteering for city council. You might remember me mentioning last year I started the one-man restaurant team. We lobby for the best eats to be brought into the neighborhood and try to keep In-N-Out from growing their territory. What kind of restaurant only has 4 things on their menu? I don’t care what kind of secret menu you might find if you use the world wide web, I like having options when I go out to dine. Plus, I’d never set foot into an establishment without a fish sandwich on the menu. Why wouldn’t you have a fish sandwich, In-N-Out? Don’t you know some people like a change from the triple pounder from time to time? Anyway, we had great success this year protesting a local independent theater that was showing Super-Size-Me. That’s just propaganda no one needs to hear.

I’d include some recent pictures or a video of the kids, but I’ve been a little busy using the camcorder to film all the hot European chicks Taylor and I ran across during his press tour. I also ran out of memory on my digital camera after taking a picture of every Fish-o-Filet I’ve eaten in the last year (for a promotional video on the restaurant team section of the city council website. It’ll be up here real soon: valleycitycouncil.web.us.gov/team/misc/citizenoutreach.html/fishsandwiches.webs) I gotta get over to the Radio Shack to figure out how to add more memory to this camera. But if you really care to know what Taylor looks like, just peek at the posters on every bus stop- he pretty much looks like that in real life. Makena is growing up nicely. I think she looks more and more like her ol’ pop every day! Continue reading