Christmas Caroling with the Cullens

Dear LTTers,

How are you!? Stuffed? Tired? Are you wearing your new clothes and playing your new CDs and watching your new DVDs? Good. Moon & I are busy with our families this weekend, but have no fear! We don’t plan to stop the holiday celebration. In fact, we both printed out today’s caroling lyrics and plan to lead our families in many rousing choruses throughout the day. So don’t stop the holiday celebrations! Get back in the spirit by singing the following Christmas carols with more appropriate lyrics!

“I’m Dreaming of a Black Christmas” Listen to the Real song here

Now that Edward is back, Bella spends less time with Jake. She’s not as happy as Stephenie Meyers makes her seem. And the holidays are especially tough. Bella is all sentimental…. wishing for more time with Jake. And so she sings this tune….

Who invited Buttcrack Santa?

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Just like they have down on the res
Where Emily bakes her muffins
and jorts are in fashion
and everyone does what Sam Uley says

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Just like when that wolf was my best friend
I won’t even throw a face punch
when he tries to kiss me
really, he wouldn’t be a bad boyfriend

I’m dreaming of a Black Christmas
Every time Emmett jokes that I’m his snack
May your days be 110 degrees and laidback
And may all your Christmases be Black

Sing more tunes after the jump!

Happy Birthday UC, Love the Cullens and the rest of the gang!

Dear UnintendedChoice (your FULL fake name, this is a formal situation!)-

These blogs are usually meant as a place for us to write letters to Twilight and Rob but since it’s you’re birthday and I’m going to hell, I’m breaking ALL the rules! See, I can’t even get through an opening line without quoting this blasted series/movie, can you believe what it’s done to us?! I can’t! But what I can believe is it’s your BIRTHDAY!!! And you’re 21! Forever 21, ya’ll. Ok, maybe not 21 but a lady never reveals such secrets. I’m struggling right now to straddle the line between bringing the  funny and gushing uncontrollably about how much I love you. In a fake lesbian, life partners, blog partners kind of way, OF COURSE.

I can’t image a better person to run a blog empire with! Whenever I’m feeling particularly uncreative I know I can ‘break it down’ with you and I’ll come up with the best post ever. It’s like we always say “we’re better together” cause no one can help bring out the funny like you. You are the yin to my yang, the Bella to my Edward, the Sage to my Dills.

Please always be my life partner!
Themoonisdown

PS The Cullens sent me this rad picture and birthday poem they wrote* just for you!

We dress like this for ALL special occasions

When you open your presents, try not to hurt your finger,
for the scent of blood, Jasper can’t stand to linger,
and if Edward throws you ON TOP the table,
you’d better be ready, willing and able
cause he’s 107**, and oh so pure,
but you my dear, are his only cure!
So have some cake, some ice cream too,
and know that us Cullens all love you !

Happy Birthday UC,
The Cullens (your future in-laws)

*major thanks to the lovely Kristin for helping a writers blocked Moon with this awesome poem!
** we debated if it was 107 or 108 so uh someone set us straight!