Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

taylorsvdaykingandqueen

How ridiculously perfect is this picture?! Seriously!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon:
I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog
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Young love is Taylor-made

Dear Taylors,

Awwww, ain’t young love grand?! It’s not even spring and we get to enjoy a little bit of love blossoming in the fall as we watch you two meet up all over the country. I’m going to write each of you a letter and you can figure out which one is to who…

XO,
Moon

PS Can we come up with a better couple name that Tay-tay or Taylor squared for you guys? Those just don’t have the right ring to them

Our song is the way you phase, sneaking out past paps and tip toeing back a sleepin' big daddy

Our song is the way you phase, sneaking out past paps, tip toeing past a snoring Big Daddy

Dear Taylor,

Don’t screw this up!!! If it’s true and you are playing the hanky panky at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel with Taylor than you’re a lucky SOB cause this girl is 19, you are 17 and in boy/girls maturity levels that’s a lot. And besides that, she’s a young musician who not only plays an instrument but also writes her own music! This girls got it going on, and has the songs to prove it. Which you can learn a lot from, by the way! If we know anything about Taylor we know she likes Romeo and Juliet, love stories, flowers, screen doors slamming, Tim McGraw, castles, tear drops, glitter,  that stupid old pick up truck, burning shit, white horses, hates cheer captains and loves being fearless. Oh and she hates the JoBros. But who doesn’t?

So seriously don’t screw this up cause you KNOW Taylor will turn your relationship in her next number one album if you break her heart! And don’t think we won’t know who’s she’s referring to when she sings about “that stupid dog.”  I will also warn you know that Big Daddy told me he’s getting ready to sit you down and have “the talk” with you! So if Big Daddy asks to take you to McDee’s for some “one-on-one time” he’s not refering to private time with a certain fried fish sammy, he’s talking about emabarassing birds and the bees, this is where babies come from, true love waits, keep it in your pants shiz! Prepare yourself! And tape it, so we can listen later cause it will be epically 2nd hand embarrassing! Oh and if Kanye gets any funny ideas at this years Grammy’s you better come prepared to throw down. I’m talking “don’t get me upset” Jacob style throw down.

Ok now go send this girls some flowers and do a back flip for her while you recite a poem you wrote called “Taylor + Taylor, we can make it not a failure” So, clearly you’ll help you with your writing skills (and mine).

It’s a love story Taylor, just say yes!
Moon

PS If something happens and you have to break up with her don’t do it via phone like that loser Jonas Brother did. You’re a classy fellow have the balls and do that ish in person!

Follow the cut to see my letter to the other Taylor! And some other goodies…
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And even MORE Imma contest entries!

Dear Imma contest entrants and LTT-ers,

I know what you’re thinking “Wow, UC & Moon are SO lazy. They took advantage of the “Imma enter a Twilight contest contest” entries & have now posted them THREE days in a row as an excuse for a break from blogging.” And you would be right. We did this. Because bloggers are people too. And sometimes we get busy & need a break. Plus we’re lazy.

Since there were SO many good entries and since only two special folks could win AND since  we just happened to create fake categories that just happen to fit perfectly with some of the entries we’ve created fake prizes to show you just how much we love you. Cause we care. Sometimes.

Time for the funny…

Best entry featuring an American more popular in Germany than his home country

Kendall – You win the complete series of Baywatch on DVD and a private performance of “Hooked on a Feeling” by the Hoff himself! Lucky.

Best entry featuring an infomercial host who’s now in jail


JodieO – you win a free palm reading session with Jackson. He may not really be able to read palms but he definitely see’s a 100 Monkeys concert in your future

Follow the cut to see more entries!
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IMMA WINNER!! Contest winners announced!

*EDIT: if we did not post your entry YET please don’t post it in the comments, we will be featuring entries ALL weekend! THX!*

Dear Imma Contest participants and LTT-ers,

UC: Remember last week when we announced that we’d be hosting a contest for our readers with awesome prizes from Bella Bejeweled?
Moon: Totes, I almost entered under my pseudonym: TheButtcrackisDown cause I wanted to be just like Alice and Bella and wear jewelery like theirs, but I figured you’d know it was me when that email came through. And I don’t lie so well- my non-poker face gives it away.
UC: Yea, you never did know how to make a kitty meow, but you love those little bottles.
Moon: Truth.
UC: ANYWAY all week we received a TON of entries on Twitter and to our email address from you funny gals making us both laugh till we cried and making it SO hard (that’s what she said) to pick only TWO winners so-
Moon: *grabs the mic keyboard out of UC’s hand* Hey, Sorry I gotta interrupt here! UC you’re a great blogger and winner announcer and all and imma let you finish but our readers are the best in the whole blogosphere and we need to reveal the winners right now!
UC: Ok, Ok… and the winners are:

Submitted via Twitter

Winner: @Chelseaheptig !!!!!
You slayed us with your use of the 100 Monkeys and the worst band in the world: Creed! You deserve a medal for bravery in laughs and some earplugs!

Submitted via Email

Winner: Beth!!!
You interrupted Martha Stewart to let her know she had nothing on Rob’s sewing skills. I mean after all he did resurrect both the old stoli shirt AND those heinous pants with probably nothing more than a hotel sewing kit. He should get a girlscout badge or something!

Congratulations Chelsea and Beth you gals are the winners of some beautiful jewelry courtesy of Bella Bejeweled!

Let’s give a HUGE round of applause to our winners and to ALL (there were a ton) the participants! And because there were SO many good entries we simply couldn’t NOT show you some of the best so this weekend we’ll be showcasing all our favorite entries… starting with the runner’s up. Follow the cut to see the one who ALMOST won

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The Morning After – The MTV Video Music Awards

mtvmovieawardsDear LTT-ers

By now all the Diet Coke has been drunk, all the cupcakes consumed and all the screams have died down and what are we left with? Yup 66 days and counting till we finally get to see what we’ve all been waiting for New Moon the movie. And I think it would be an understatement to say I’m excited. I’m kinda really can’t even process all the moments but let’s try…

Red carpet madness:
Um since Rob and Kristen were too “busy” to walk the red carpet we will defer to Ashley who rocked the fashion correspondence and Taylor who KILLED it in a Calvin Klein suit. Sweet baby Jesus.

ashleyVMAs
Killing it in do me heels, black corseted top and “bump it.” Could have left grandma’s couch/gold lame skirt at home but hey you had me at “bump it.”

taylorredcarpet
Oh hai just stopping by before the big board meeting to show you what impeccable tailoring is.

Follow the cut for even more VMA crap… and an extra special gift…
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Shh, we’ve got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

And the winner is…

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Thanks to Wal-mart for this cool shizz

Dear everyone who entered our most recent contest,

We randomly picked one of our readers who left a comment with a song that reminded her of Twilight, and a Twilight Party-Pack, courtesy of Wal-mart, is on its way to her as we speak.

Congratulations to: Briar Rose whose comment appeared on LTR

Her comment was: “My nomination is Obsession by Animotion. I will now go take a cold shower. . . ”

Congrats, Briar Rose! 

We had so much fun reading all the songs that remind you of Twi (or Rob- there were tons of those too!) and there was a definite pattern of songs or artists that kept popping up as suggestions:

  • “Strange & Beautiful” Aqualung
  • “Love Story” by Taylor Swift
  • “Thinking of You” by Katy Perry
  • “Almost Love” A Fine Frenzy
  • All songs EVER by Muse!
  • “Sex on Fire” Kings of Leon (I wonder why….!) 

We picked the winner 100% randomly and not by our favorite suggestion, but here were some of our favorites:

  • Closer Kings of Leon
  • My Body is a Cage The Arcade Fire
  • Creep Radiohead (cuz you always need a song that Thom Yorke wrote about masterbating)
  • I will follow you in the Dark Death Cab for Cutie (This is inscribed in the inside of UC’s hubby’s wedding band)
  • Blood Bank Bon Iver (UC’s suggestion)
  • Breathe Me Sia (rumored to be a great choice for New Moon)
  • No one’s gonna love you Band of Horses

We’re gonna leave you with that last song, just because we feel like it and we run the blog, so we’re the boss(es). You’ll love it. 

Thanks again to EVERYONE who entered! And congrats to Briar Rose! XOXO
Love, Us