The Lautner Family Christmas letter

Today, we’re bringing you a very special family Christmas letter:

December 2009                     Issue 19, Vol 4

Family trip to the jersey shore in 06

To our Family, friends, and all the folks over at BigDaddyFan.net,

Been a big year for the Lautner family. May have heard about all the successes young Taylor has had. It’s been great having a lot of young beauties hanging around. I can get lonely ever since Debbie left. I’ve been trying to get back out on the dating scene. When Debbie split I thought I’d just hit a couple hockey games with the son, maybe hop a plane over to ol’ Pari’, breakout the handheld and find a companion, but it seems Taylor has more luck in that department. Not that I’m complaining. This blonde that has been hanging around lately is a real cutie. We have this inside joke where I goose her every time she walks by. She gets a kick out of that. Haven’t seen her in awhile come to think… They seem to be spending a lot of time over at her place. Hmm.. I’ll have to cook her up my world famous “Big Daddy triple pounder, double fried burger with pepperjack, mozzarella & swiss cheese burgers” to entice her to come around more.

You may have heard that I’ve taken some time away from the airline industry. The company no longer felt it safe for me to hook two seatbelts together to stay in the pilot seat and there wasn’t room in the budget for a bigger belt. Just need to drop another 40-50 and I can retake my tests and hopefully get back up there in the air

News from the around the Valley: I’ve been really busy volunteering for city council. You might remember me mentioning last year I started the one-man restaurant team. We lobby for the best eats to be brought into the neighborhood and try to keep In-N-Out from growing their territory. What kind of restaurant only has 4 things on their menu? I don’t care what kind of secret menu you might find if you use the world wide web, I like having options when I go out to dine. Plus, I’d never set foot into an establishment without a fish sandwich on the menu. Why wouldn’t you have a fish sandwich, In-N-Out? Don’t you know some people like a change from the triple pounder from time to time? Anyway, we had great success this year protesting a local independent theater that was showing Super-Size-Me. That’s just propaganda no one needs to hear.

I’d include some recent pictures or a video of the kids, but I’ve been a little busy using the camcorder to film all the hot European chicks Taylor and I ran across during his press tour. I also ran out of memory on my digital camera after taking a picture of every Fish-o-Filet I’ve eaten in the last year (for a promotional video on the restaurant team section of the city council website. It’ll be up here real soon: valleycitycouncil.web.us.gov/team/misc/citizenoutreach.html/fishsandwiches.webs) I gotta get over to the Radio Shack to figure out how to add more memory to this camera. But if you really care to know what Taylor looks like, just peek at the posters on every bus stop- he pretty much looks like that in real life. Makena is growing up nicely. I think she looks more and more like her ol’ pop every day!

I saw New Moon and I LOVED it….

I know many of you haven’t seen the movie yet. GO GO GO GOOOOOOOO what are you waiting for!? Of course you know I’m writing about it today, but don’t worry- I’ll warn you before there are spoilers

Did someone bring YOU a goodie bag with knock-off Ray bans inside?

Dear New Moon,

A story to sum up the night: After remaining in our seats until the last credit rolled, singing along to every word of “Meet me on the Equinox,” occasionally letting out a yelp, a squee or an expletive and holding hands with friends and strangers around us, our group of (just) 18 gals ventured into the concession area of the theater continuing with our yelps, squees and expletives along the way. As we gathered around for a group photo in front of the Eclipse poster we decided what that moment needed was a group hug. Hugs were passed around, more squees were heard and then it hit us- just a hug will not suffice. What we needed was a New Moon huddle. So we gathered together, we all put our arms in the middle and on the count of 3 we raised our hands in the air and yelled: JORTS!

It’s 3:46am and I could go on and on about the movie I just saw. But it’s 3:46am and I really want to go to sleep, so I’ll just share a few thoughts. The first being that it’s amazing. So if you haven’t seen it yet, forget the bad reviews, forget any preconceived notions you have based on the badly made last movie (Twilight) and just go. Lower your expectations. Clear your mind of anything you hope to see and just go enjoy the great portrayal of a really great book.

I have a confession, though.  With all that talk I shoved down your throats about managing expectations and ACCEPTING IT NOW that the movie very well may suck, I still hung on to a few expectations myself. Thankfully, Chris Weitz reads my mind (and therefore may now have access to my body) and BROUGHT it with New Moon. After the jump here are a few of my expectations that were met ABOVE and BEYOND! *Spoiler Alert* (see ending for *end of spoiler alert*)