New Moon DVD- which one should you get?

Moon, A famous guy at Hot Topic whose name we forget, Me

Dear New Moon DVD,

It really seems like no one gives a crap that you’re releasing this weekend. Oh wait, is that just me? I dunno, member last year how I flew to LA (okay the date was a coincidence) stayed up till 5 am eastern time to stand in line with Moon, meet Ashley Green, meet a goth/gay/Hot Topic celebrity & randomly ask people in line if they’d ever heard of “Letters to Rob” & meeting awesome people like Charlie Bewley’s future girlfriend Ashley who become a fast friend? (Not to mention get my husband SUPER PISSED off at me as we left him wandering down Hollywood Blvd alone at 1 am, texting me every 10 minutes to see if we are done yet)

This year I don’t even know who is selling the DVD.  Is Walmart gonna have it? What about Target? Most importantly, will Marks & Spencer carry a special edition? Will it come with a pair of the underwear Rob Pattinson & Tom Stu made so popular the other week?

I don’t know. So today I decided to do some research myself and find out WHO will have the BEST DVDs and what each different DVD will offer:

I'm sad- I don't come with a charm bracelet

Let’s kick it off with The Basic New Moon DVD (or Blu-Ray but I don’t have one of those so I didn’t really pay attention. Sorry)

The basic New Moon DVD available everywhere, including your local grocery store so you really can never escape from Edward Cullen, even when you just ran in to pick up some milk & eggs, and will feature the movie (yay!), a commentary with Chris Weitz & the film’s editor which should be boring as crap unless Chris mentions his mustard colored pants and his knowledge of what a DILF means. Then there’s a 6 part documentary that is 60 minutes long on the making of New Moon. That could be really awesome, except….. isn’t that like basically the commentary? I mean, Chris Weitz made the movie, is commentarying the movie AND doing a documentary? Um. Overkill. And we’ll also get some rehearsal footage of Muse & some music videos from Soundtrack artists. Otherwise known as “filler.”

Target’s 3 Disc Deluxe Edition comes with…. wait for it…a BONUS FILM CELL! Yes!!!!!!! If I get Target’s version of New Moon this year, I can do absolutely NOTHING with the film cell just like I did with Twilight’s last year!!! Besides the regular 2 discs, Target’s version has an extra 3rd disc of over 50 min of never before seen content including: Deleted scenes (please let there be a sex scene- I don’t care with who- just spice it up!), Introducing the Volturi (I’d take the sex scene here), a making of the movie Featurette (making of the sex scene? Okay… I’ll stop), a look at the fans, & the music of New Moon. It costs $24.99

Let’s discuss this “Look at the fans.” What do they mean? Are they going to discuss the outfits the fans wear? Will they focus on the 100 monkeys canvas bags? How about on the fans who let their babies wear that “I like it Doggy Style” onesie? All I know is that they DIDN’T interview us, and well, that means The “look at fans” will most likely be focused on those weird fans. You know, the ones who have read the books 10+ times, forego sleep to read fan fiction, fly thousands of miles across the country to meet friends and do Twi-related things, wear outfits, make signs, leg hitch cardboard cut outs of actors and oh- wait… that is us. My bad. That’s Normal. (I STILL don’t have a Twilight tattoo or an “I drive like a Cullen” Bumper sticker!)

Walmart’s Ultimate Fan Edition New Moon DVD comes with some sort of special packaging that will get just as dusty on your DVD shelf as all the other packaging PLUS a 7 min sneak peek of Eclipse. At $24.96 that’s 3 cents cheaper than Target’s special edition and totally worth the guilt you’ll feel after saving the money when you realize it was probably packaged “specially” by some unpaid 3 year old in Bangladesh.

Catch my dreams, New Moon DVD with dreamcatcher thingey

Border’s Special Edition has JUST what you’ve been waiting for. Not only does it come with exclusive packaging, but inside the package there is a….. wait for it……. MEDALLION NECKLACE! Yes! You will no longer be the only one without something Twi-related around your neck at your monthly TwiMoms: How to be a better mom and mirror your relationship with your daughter after Bella’s relationship with Renesmee meeting. You don’t have to look stupid when you go see the 100 monkeys and have nothing for the guys to sign. Just wear a low cut shirt, hang that medallion right in your cleavage and give the guys a little wink & a shake. They’ll know where to sign..

The DVD also includes unreleased extended scenes, interviews, red-carpet footage (you can see when Moon ran on stage and had Rob sign HER boob- take THAT 100 monkey lovers with the Medallion Necklace) and some sort of Webcast. All this fun for only $29.99

Are you bored yet? I am. Just give me the damn DVD already Ugh- Soldiering on after the jump: Continue reading

Fans still love Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Nope. We haven’t forgotten about you. We’ve been a little distracted by all the NReed/KStew lesbo talk and the Kellan Lutz “good boy from your youth group” stories, but we still love you.

While Rob is definitely out-shining you in the letter department, people do still write to YOU too.  See, I’ll prove it:

xo

twi-movie-companion1Dear People at Target,

I swear I am not crazy…and I am not a biatch (well maybe sometimes)! I just find it really annoying and hard not to use my vampire strength to rip your throats out for selling the last copy of the Twilight Movie companion you had in stock to a tween who still can’t possibly know or understand how Edward can make someone ‘jizz her pants,’ as he does me! I understand how you are not really in control of when you will get restocked again, but do you know how inconvenient it is for me to have to wait until tomorrow to hit up Barnes and Noble when you’re just 5 mins from my house?!!?? Anyway sorry for glaring at you (cashier girl) with my ‘onyx-colored’ eyes…I swear they’re not always this color. Next time please try and keep better stock…k?

Thanks,

krazykidd

P.S.

My apologies to my fiancee who thought he might have to restrain me when that bitchfaced tween wallked past me with a smirk on her smug little face in triumph…for a SECOND there I wished I was Jane so I could put her dumbass on check!! (only for a SECOND)   

 

Dear Twilight,twi book covers

Who knew you were this addictive? I’m sure Stephenie Meyer’s publishers did. 

From December 23, 2008 to January 2, 2009 I was completely engrossed in the Twilight Saga that I didn’t even notice Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day! Honestly, there should be some sort of disclaimer on the back. Only took me 11 days to finish the series because “I had to know”. I thought I would be past my obsession once I finished all four books…now even it’s worse.

Now, I take random online quizzes about Twilight and their characters (so sad), and I cannot go to bed without hearing Bella’s lullaby. Also, (and this is hard for me to admit) I rub body shimmering lotion on my boyfriend so that he could sparkle like Edward. It’s safe to say I have a problem.

I will admit that I don’t obsess over the book more than I do over the movie. Watching the book come to life made me wish that this fantasy would never end! Every fibre of my being anticipates the release of the New Moon movie. In the meantime, I get my fix from fanmade videos and blogs (although I would prefer the official complete draft of Midnight Sun, hint hint Steph). 

Twilight, all that’s left to say is this: “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin“. 

Patiently trying to wait,

newtwilightlover (Shari)