Dear Midnight Sun

Dear Midnight Sun,

I haven’t thought about you in awhile. I haven’t read you in awhile. It’s all the wondering about why Eclipse is having this supposed drama and what is taking Breaking Dawn so long to have any news that’s keeping me from remembering how you were my favorite 12 chapters of anything I’ve ever read. But today I saw a pretty cool video about what you might be like and I got thinking about you again.

I think the best part about you being completed would be that we’d probably get another movie with Buttcrack Santa in it. Not to mention lots of Cullen family interaction which is my absolute favorite (next to Buttcrack Santa). Maybe we’ll find out Alice calls Jasper her “Giddy-up Cowboy” or something. Would we have a ton of intimate scenes of Rob Edward in his bedroom, alone brooding, thinking, fantasizing….? (I’m talking something sexy here. Not like that jizz in his pants thing in biology class) Will we get a HUGE blooper real of Peter Facinelli and Rob Pattinson cracking up as Carlisle is slobbering all over Edward’s neck?

All I know is I want it BAD. Another chance to hear Buttcrack Santa sing his song about a kitty? Would we get to find out more about Cora the waitress at the diner? It would basically be like Twilight- but more centered around ROB and not in that depressingly blue gray color!? UNTOUCHED BY CATHI HARDI!?

Halle-freakin-lujah

(Will we be jealous when we see Edward with another girl like Tanya?)

Can you make the movie without Stephanie even finishing the book? We know how it ends!

Here’s hoping,
UnintendedChoice

Follow the jump for an important poll!

The Important questions about New Moon

Edward's favorite tampon brand

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Hey Arizona! It’s been awhile. I know, I know. But I’ll be honest the hype of New Moon has died down majorly. David Slade & Summit have refused to release any Eclipse info until after Remember Me is released (or so we can assume) Although David Slade quite possibly redeemed himself with what looks to maybe be a leg hitch picture, but still. We’re bored. But not without ideas- no, no. Those are ever-flowing. It’s just hard to write fan fic about Buttcrack Santa and Harry Clearwater coming back from the dead as zombies, adding one more mythical creature to the mix in Forks. But I’m working on it!

Anyway, longtime LTT reader, Jet, emailed us a few weeks back asking some really important questions about New Moon and the Twilight saga that haven’t been asked before. Ya know, like along the same lines about what happens when Bella gets her period, but better. I consider myself quite the Twilight saga expert, but even I didn’t know how to write her back. I thought I’d ask you today, as well as ask you about other questions that were sent to us via the tweets:

Did Oregano watch New Moon? And if he did, then how many times did he puke like Mike or throw tomatoes at the screen?

Do you know, Steph? Are you still close with Cathy Hardi? Can you ask her? I have a feeling she’s been stalking poor Oregano ever since she heard about he & Kristen’s split. Poor guy. (Hey- *brilliant thought* was SHE the reason for the KStew/Oregano split? Where has he been? IS he throwing back Ultimate Margs at 5pm on Monday, Tuesday AND Thursdays at the TGIFridays with the Cougar?)

What happens to female vampires who weren’t able to “do it” before they were turned? Will they be like that Jessica character from True Blood? Will “it” keep on growing back?

I had no idea what Jet was talking about here, so I consulted my True Blood expert and my expert on “it,” Moon, and asked:

UC: Does she mean the hyman?
Moon: Hymen
UC: Sorry. I never had it long enough to learn how to spell it
Moon: Slut
UC: Hey! I fell on a fence post when I was 7!
Moon: Ouch. Yes in True Blood Jessica is a virgin when she’s turned so it’s like her first time EVERY TIME she has sexy
UC: Realllllyy? Do you think that means Edward explodes in 3 seconds every time he does it?

Jet continued:

We never hear much about Jasper and Alice’s “experiences” in the books. Is it because of this very thing? Was Alice never deflowered before she was turned? I’m only assuming of course. ‘Cause, come to think of it, who would do it with her when she was trapped in the asylum…..

I know: Chase Crawford, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Jared Followhill etec. etc.

Is Harry Clearwater the new Buttcrack Santa? Will his Kung Fu still be strong even after death? Who will make fish fry for Charlie now?

Seriously. Charlie can’t be without his fish fry. You heard Bella. There’s only enough fish for the next 3 years in the freezer. He needs ALL of that fried. He NEEDS to die an early death from clogged arteries. Otherwise he’s gonna get REALLY suspicious when his 55 year daughter still looks like an 18 year old and he won’t understand why his 7 year old granddaughter is making out with her “older brother figure” on La Push Beach. GET CHARLIE FISH FRY!

Then I asked myself: Is is possible there are Twilight fans out there that don’t immediately think of sexual things when the “What questions do you have about New Moon’ is asked?

No. No it’s not..

After the jump, see what I mean and enjoy as I take a crack at answering some of the questions

Bringing it back to what matters…. again

Dear LTTers,

I don’t know about you but sometimes I forget. I get wrapped up in the drama of the actor’s lives, in the hilarity of the fandom and in the frustrations of the movie making process that I forget why I fell in love with the Twilight saga in the first place.

I forget what it was like to read the books for the first time and sob when I realized they were over. I forget how obsessed I became after I watched the first movie and how I squealed in delight and held Moon’s hand so tight when we finally got to see New Moon.

I need to be reminded. And I bet you do too!

So here is a reminder- 1 beautifully-made video from each story. Let’s fall in love together again, shall we!?

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Twilight & Midnight Sun: (After all this time it IS still possible to like that story!)

New Moon: Edward’s painful last kiss good-bye

Eclipse: So freaking excited for the REAL trailer!

Breaking Dawn (yes, I actually found a BD fanmade video that didn’t creep me out. Plus it uses some footage from the hour long vanity fair Twilight photo-shoot….. which should bring back memories for many of us of a time when there wasn’t Robsten vs. Nonsten. Before we knew enough about their intimacy to know whether or not we cared, didn’t care, or cared wayyyyy too much!)

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

The Unicorns may not like this convo…

Dear Stephanie Meyer,

We love you. Have we mentioned that? (Or is it obvious b/c we dedicate TONS of time from our EXTREMELY busy lives to blogging about Twilight?) We love your books. We love your storytelling. We don’t care that you overuse the word “irrevocably.” We don’t care that there wasn’t a major battle at the end of Breaking Dawn. We’re successful, independent, driven woman who know your book(s) aren’t meant to be anti-feminist. You had a dream about the most perfect man in the universe, and you wrote a bestselling series about it. We Get That.

What we don’t get is what happens when Bella gets her period? Does Edward just go away for 3-7 days? If so, where does he go? Or isn’t that blood appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo-hoo” and that’s so sicknast? (holla Lauren’s Bite for that word) Or is it that much MORE appealing to him because it comes out of Bella’s “hoo hoo” and he wants to “tap that?” (Um, I need to re-read YOUR books because I just said “hoo-hoo” and “tap-that” in the same sentence which unfortunately resembles Fan-Fic rather than your beautiful, literary work(s).)

The person who made this marketing decision should be fired.

Are you wondering where this random question came from? Well, it might be because Moon found this wonderful advertisement for o.b. tampons featuring a vampire with tampons as his teeth.

Uh, we might want to check with the expert, Lauren, over at Lauren’s Bite, but I think we can also categorize this advertisement as sicknast.

So, we’d just like a little clarity on this issue because it really bothers us that the bloodthirsty perfect vampire, Edward, doesn’t seem to be bothered by Bella’s friendly neighborhood visitor who likes to come every 28 days or so.

Maybe Edward has a problem with Bella’s monthly visitor, but Rob Pattinson doesn’t seem to:

Love,
Us

“Sicknast” Source & thanks to Mama2Bella for the “Rob Porn“

Reminder that you have until 7pm ET TONIGHT to enter our Twilight-Party-Pack Giveaway!

Update 3/18: Someone from o.b. tampons left us a comment saying: ‘I’d like to clarify that this image is not one of our advertisements; it was drafted by our ad agency in Switzerland and was rejected, as it does not reflect our values and standards.” Just an FYI! A vampire will not come after your hoo-hoo if you use their tampons!

Dirt- “the ever changing dirt” edition

So, we’ve had a “Dirt” post drafted for awhile now and have learned the lesson that in the fast-paced world of Twilight news, you gotta post the dirt QUICK, or it becomes old news fast. For example, here is the dirt we had drafted before today:

• Catherine Hardwicke is NOT the director for New Moon
• Vanessa Hudgens joins the cast of New Moon
• Rob Pattinson spotted at a bar in London
• The rumor about Vanessa Hudgens joining New Moon is FALSE
• Stephanie Meyers loves Stephen King
• Rob Pattinson spotted at another bar in London
• Stephanie Meyers no longer loves Stephen King

Seriously- who knew we’d be over all that ‘dirt’ so fast?

On to the REAL, CURRENT dirt:

• It’s on. Who is coming with us on a Twilight Fan Trip?
• Kim @ BuddyTV e-mailed us to tell us she got really bored at work Friday and came up with 10 ways to make New Moon awesome. First of all, love the ideas, Kim (especially #1), Secondly, KILL ME NOW that you have a job where you get paid to come up with stuff like this! I’m not consumed with jealously. Nope. Not at all.
• A bunch of the New Moon cast left Vancouver. We know Ashley was in NYC Saturday, Kirsten was in LA, Rob was in my bed Arkansas,  and the jury is still out on where the others are.
• When I first heard that Twilight was being made into a parody/musical, I was excited to see how it would turn out. I love well-done parody’s.  If you’re wondering if I think that part 1 of Twilight the Musical is a well-done parody, well, eavesdrop on the convo I just had with my husband and see if you can guess what I thought:

Me: I am so 2nd-hand embarrassed, yet I will continue to watch this
Husband: I am 3rd-hand embarrassed (that’s a whole new level of embarrassment)

See for yourself:

I realize this is supposed to be stupid & funny. But it’s just stupid, not funny. Sorry Twilight the Musical people. I promise we’ll post part 2, but could you make it less stupid and more funny? Thanks.

I’m kinda mad that I just wasted 6:43 of my life, so I’m not even posting anymore dirt.

Love, UnintendedChoice