18 ways for Taylor to celebrate being officially legal and we’re off the hook

We have finally made it!!

Dear Taylor,

The day has finally arrived! We are no longer considered predators or creepy old ladies. Well, maybe creepy but definitely not old and no longer over stepping our legal bounds! It’s a party around here to say the least and in honor of your 18th birthday we thought, since we have a little experience, that we’d tell you what you’re now allowed to do legally in the USA!

It’s your 18th birthday so we’ve come up with a list of 18 things you can NOW do as a legal adult…

01. VOTE! No we’re not talking about voting for Rob as best dressed or for Kristen at the Bafta’s, we’re talking real deal referendums, amendments to city ordinances, Presidents, elected officials, school board councils, THE WORKS! Exciting I know.

02. You can be DRAFTED! One of the thrills of being a male American citizen of 18 years of age means you can now be drafted to join the US military. I’m sure you received that fun little piece of paper in the mail that you had to sign and send back to Uncle Sam cause he’ll come find you if you don’t and trust us he has his eye on you. He’s seen those canons and he wants them in his military. They could be considered lethal weapons after all.

03. You can now BUY A LOTTERY TICKET! Doesn’t matter that you’re now considered the highest paid “teen” actor in the business. Nothing beats filling up your tank at the gas station and buying a Mega Millions ticket! Oh the thrill, the risk, the ultimate let down.

We'd be excited too!

04. Throw away your McLovin’ fake ID cause now you can buy smokes for Kristen and Rob LEGALLY! Tobacco is now at your finger tips any time you get the itch to hang with the “cool kids” on set. This also means after you become addicted you’re now able to buy “the patch” and Nicorette gum!

05. Remember when Taylor Swift left you for John Mayer/That dude from Glee/Jared Followill/The Blockbuster guy and you wanted to spray paint her a mural full of Lisa Frank hearts and rainbows and unicorns to remind her what she was missing? Well, now you can buy spray paint!! I hear they have sparkly spray paint now.

06. If you and the wolfpack are feeling adventurous and need a bonding activity while shooting Breaking Dawn you can now make that Wolfpack bicep tattoo permanent cause you’re now legal to get tattoos without Big Daddy’s permission. May I also suggest a heart with our names in it on your forearm?

Follow the cut to see the rest of the 18 things Taylor can now do and then celebrate with us!

The best of Twilight in 2009! Part 1

Dear LTT-ers and Twi-hards,

2009 has been a crazy year to say the least. We saw a movie about teenage vampires blow away box office records. We saw a boy become a movement and show us what Team Jacob was really all about. We saw a fandom divide down the middle over the “are they, or aren’t they” relationship of two costars. And we saw our beloved little saga explode into a cultural phenomenon. Since it’s the end of the year and everyone’s creating bes-of lists we’ve decided to create our own Best of Twilight in 2009 list…

Worth the dead blackberry

10. The Oscars – Sure Robert Pattinson was asked to present and sure he showed up and sat behind crazy Mickey Rourke and next to girl-crush Tina Fet but I think what makes this a memorable 2009 moment was that he wore the ef out of that dolce tux and that night we racked up our highest number of comments ever with almost 900 responses from you yahoos. This was also the night my blackberry died from comment overload. Word to the wise when a big event such as Rob being at the Oscars happens, turn OFF the comment alerts on your mobile phone.

Hey, you guys got a shirt I can borrow?

09. The Britpack – More often than not a Britpack concert will be the desired meet up spot of not only LTT gals but of Twilight fans in general. Trying to find a Twilight fan at a Sam/Bobby/Marcus show is like shooting fish in a barrel. Not that you’ll EVER hear any of them actually performing their “Twilight” song live at one of these shows, but they’re pretty talented musicians, they play shows at bars with alcohol and they’re pretty easy on the eyes, so why not? These men and their music spawned fan sites, a pyramid scheme street team and a manbang movement.

I got an idea, let's break Twitter and then I'll choke you out

08. Harpers Bazaar/ Vanity Fair Photoshoots – AKA the day of Twitter overload and back to back breaking it down segments between UC and Moon. Between the Cape Cod-esque deliciousness of the Vanity Fair spread and the Hefty bag couture of the Harper’s shoot there was weeks and weeks worth of blog fodder to work with. Not only did we slather ourselves in clarified butter and dream of threesomes at Gayhead but we debated (again) the validity of Robsten, created their fake engagement photo and started a sitcom just for them and stoners everywhere.

OMG I totally hope someone sees us, I mean doesn't see us!

07. Vancouver – 2nd only to a Britpack concert for a fan meet up was the lovely city of Vancouver. These poor Canadians didn’t know what they were in for when production of New Moon (and eventually Eclipse) was moved to their fair city. Paparazzi mobs, roid-raging teen wolves roaming the street and questionable musicians suddenly making tour stops. Vancouver was the site of much debauchery and monumental moments such as: Taytay’s doomed love affair with a Disney princess, KStew and Oregano’s one last failed attempt at faking their relationship and my favorite: Elizabeth Reaser and Nikki Reed’s chronic addiction to “accidentally” being photographed drinking smoothies and wearing work out clothes with hoods so that they appeared to be simultaneously “one of the people” but “trying to escape the paparazzi.” Good try gals, you ALMOST had us fooled. Next time don’t keep the paparazzi number on speed dial.

Respect Staten Island fangirls!!

06. Remember Me – Not only was this the first movie Rob shot after Twilight but it was arguably (past and present) the most photographed movie set ever. Every day we were inundated with gabillions of new photos from the set which caused us to ruminate on what this film could be about, whether Emilie de Ravin was tappin’ dat azzzzzz and why Rob punching someone was hot but probably the most memorable moment from Rob’s time in New York City over summer 2009 that is still talked about to this day would have to be cabgate and those crazy pyscho lunatic girls. Oh em gee, Rob got “hit by a cab” and “attacked” by some fangirls from Long Island? What should we do? I know! Freak out on Twitter and start a Respect Campaign. Duh.

Stay tuned for the rest of our countdown this week and we look back at 2009 and make resolutions for 2010!

Goodbye 2009!
Themoonisdown

What will we include on the rest of our countdown? Has ANYTHING happened in the Twi world since like November? Are you dying like we are?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

The Lautner Family Christmas letter

Today, we’re bringing you a very special family Christmas letter:

December 2009                     Issue 19, Vol 4

Family trip to the jersey shore in 06

To our Family, friends, and all the folks over at BigDaddyFan.net,

Been a big year for the Lautner family. May have heard about all the successes young Taylor has had. It’s been great having a lot of young beauties hanging around. I can get lonely ever since Debbie left. I’ve been trying to get back out on the dating scene. When Debbie split I thought I’d just hit a couple hockey games with the son, maybe hop a plane over to ol’ Pari’, breakout the handheld and find a companion, but it seems Taylor has more luck in that department. Not that I’m complaining. This blonde that has been hanging around lately is a real cutie. We have this inside joke where I goose her every time she walks by. She gets a kick out of that. Haven’t seen her in awhile come to think… They seem to be spending a lot of time over at her place. Hmm.. I’ll have to cook her up my world famous “Big Daddy triple pounder, double fried burger with pepperjack, mozzarella & swiss cheese burgers” to entice her to come around more.

You may have heard that I’ve taken some time away from the airline industry. The company no longer felt it safe for me to hook two seatbelts together to stay in the pilot seat and there wasn’t room in the budget for a bigger belt. Just need to drop another 40-50 and I can retake my tests and hopefully get back up there in the air

News from the around the Valley: I’ve been really busy volunteering for city council. You might remember me mentioning last year I started the one-man restaurant team. We lobby for the best eats to be brought into the neighborhood and try to keep In-N-Out from growing their territory. What kind of restaurant only has 4 things on their menu? I don’t care what kind of secret menu you might find if you use the world wide web, I like having options when I go out to dine. Plus, I’d never set foot into an establishment without a fish sandwich on the menu. Why wouldn’t you have a fish sandwich, In-N-Out? Don’t you know some people like a change from the triple pounder from time to time? Anyway, we had great success this year protesting a local independent theater that was showing Super-Size-Me. That’s just propaganda no one needs to hear.

I’d include some recent pictures or a video of the kids, but I’ve been a little busy using the camcorder to film all the hot European chicks Taylor and I ran across during his press tour. I also ran out of memory on my digital camera after taking a picture of every Fish-o-Filet I’ve eaten in the last year (for a promotional video on the restaurant team section of the city council website. It’ll be up here real soon: valleycitycouncil.web.us.gov/team/misc/citizenoutreach.html/fishsandwiches.webs) I gotta get over to the Radio Shack to figure out how to add more memory to this camera. But if you really care to know what Taylor looks like, just peek at the posters on every bus stop- he pretty much looks like that in real life. Makena is growing up nicely. I think she looks more and more like her ol’ pop every day!

Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

How ridiculously perfect is this picture?! Seriously!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon: I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog

Taylor Lautner at a hockey game in 4 takes…

Dear Taylor-

I had a great weekend, saw some friends, went to some house parties, got a fathers day gift (don’t forget Big Daddy Lautner this Sunday!) and wondered what you were up to now that New Moon wrapped principle photography… and lucky me Just Jared found you at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game! I totally forgot you were from the North because who else watches hockey around here? You and Big Daddy Lautner (my other name for Poppa Filet o Fish) did not disappoint with your AMAZING facial expressions during that game that were all caught on film for folks like UC and I to enjoy… and enjoy them we did!

Taylor: OH DUDE DAD!! That cougar behind me just grabbed my balls in the hall and I liked it!!
Big Daddy: Isn’t that a Katy Perry song?
Taylor: Um Yea, something like that, I don’t know Dad but she pushed me into the guys bathroom and told me she’d “make me a man” for Rob’s phone number, can you believe it?! I was like get in line sister!
Big Daddy: Hmmmph… kids these days… freakin 6 pack abs and mystic tans are wasted on the youth… I wonder if they have a McDee’s in this arena. Taylor go get me a McFlurry!

Taylor: Daaaadd… I just remembered Selena broke up with me. I’m really sad… do you have a kleenex?
Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?
Taylor: sniff… sniff… yeaaaa but who will I walk in the rain with now? What about the umbrella I bought? Who will I give chaste sweet hugs to on the sidewalk in front of the papparazzi?
Big Daddy: Consider it a blessing she dumped you now Son. She’s a Disney girl, it would have taken 2 years to get to first base and then it would have ended in sorrow after the inevitable dirty webcam pics surfaced. Do you want some cotton candy?

Follow the cut to see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vender…

Just as awkward as you thought it would be – Kristen Stewart and New Moon madness at the MTV Movie Awards

OMG you guys I made it up the stairs without tripping!! I won't do anything else embarrassing! At ALL! (for the next 2.4 seconds)

Dear Kristen (my new favorite letters recipient, apparently)-

I’m going on hour 6 of live blogging the MTV Movie awards, I’ve fainted over your fake out kiss with Rob, I’ve eaten too many Sprinkles cupcakes, I kept repeating to myself “he is 17” while looking over my shoulder for Chris Hanson, I’m bleary eyed and tired, but most of all, I’m more excited than I’ve ever been about the New Moon movie (if that’s even possible) and I wanted to say I think I may even start to like you after seeing your total fumble after winning the ‘Best Female Performance’ award…

This is exactly the type of moment you used to read about in that section in Seventeen called “My Most Embarrassing Moments,” and you’d cringe right along with them as they had toilet paper stuck to their shoe or they ran into a locker door as Jimmy, the cute quarterback walked by… but yours is beyond 2nd hand embarrassing and captured for all eternity courtesy of Youtube. I seriously can’t think of a better way you could have handled it and all the while coming off the most real or human you EVER have! Best quote of yours EVER:

“I was just about as awkward as you thought I was going to be, BYE!”

Seriously? So much win right there.

I must be in a sugar coma from the cupcakes cause I’m saying nice things to you… ok though THE HAIR?! Seriously, a headband, a clip, whatever just NEVER wear it down again or I’ll go nuts. Whew, I feel better now.

XOXO your new fake lesbian lover
Themoonisdown

PS HUGE thanks and thumbs up to NewMoonMovie.org for hosting the most rad live blogging event ever, check out all the goodies he already has live, also don’t forget our other live bloggers in crime Confessions of a TwiCrack Addict and Lauren’s Bite! And an even bigger thanks to you all for showing up and squeeeeing with us as we watched the trailer premier and Rob in his maitre d jacket.

Don’t miss the LTR MTV Movie Awards Post!

Take the jump to see more pics and video from the MTV movie awards last night!

Twilight n trashy magazines at 30,000 feet

Hi my name is what, my name is who, chicka chicka chicka Edward Cullen!

Dear Rag-Mag Editors-

Since it’s Memorial Day I decided to head home to Phoenix to spend the long weekend with my family and while there to see fellow blogger of awesomeness Lauren from Lauren’s Bite. So of course plane flights mean MAGAZINES!!! Probably one of my most favorite parts of traveling. So I got to the airport excited to grab some reading material and EVERYWHERE I looked magazines had something Twilight related on the cover or inside. Twilight mania has officially taken over your printing industry and I can’t say I blame you for printing the stuff but seriously if you’re going to bother why not write something new?

Robert Pattinson CUT HIS HAIR! ZOMG!!!!!

OK!

Case in point OK! Magazine it drew me in because the cover had one of my fave Rob pics of all time plus the caption “Robert Pattinson Has The Blues.” What could be better right? Not so fast! You think you can fool us with THOSE PICTURES!! One is from freaking DECEMBER and the other is God knows how old… from EW last year sometime. And then the article references quotes from Catherine Hardwicke and talks about his love of Van Morrison. Hello, this is 2009 have we met? I kept waiting for a Hot Pocket reference.

Grade: F buy this is you’ve been living under a rock for the last 9 months or didn’t know Rob cut his hair in December.

Obviously NOT a Twi-hard fan

US Weekly

Somehow I figured the hair stylist who found the scripts was some sassy chain smoking older tranny type and not Amy Pohler! Who knew she had her own salon in the midwest! Does ‘Gob’ have a Barbershop next door? St. Louis would rule.

And NO I don’t want Kate Gosselin’s reverse mullet dead beaver hairdo, but thanks for asking.

Puppy Love, Cannes and Cam!

Then US Weekly earns some bonus points for having TWO MORE Twilight related features… one featuring actual RECENT pics. Shocker, I know! I flipped the page and those two cabbage patch dolls are staring at me at 30,000 feet. They’re so sickenly sweet I grabbed the barf bag.

Grade: B+ get this if quantity is your thing, you wanna read about the John & Kate train wreck or you really wanna know what swimsuit fits your body type (I should get a halter style, FYI).

I totally hugged this magazine and said a prayer for Chris Weitz

Entertainment Weekly

If you have 4 bucks to waste this is the mag for you, it’s only two pages but they have exclusive photos that were actually exclusive from the set. Imagine that! And they do NOT disappoint. I cracked this baby open and gasped out loud cause it was SO good! I said to my seat neighbor, “THE BIRTHDAY SCENE!!” She quickly got up changed seats. Her loss! If she was a Twihard addict I would have been her dealer on that flight. Loser.

Grade: A+ Get this and hug it close to your chest and send one up to the big man upstairs that New Moon will live up to all our hopes and dreams. Ignore Eminem on the cover.

But back to you rag mag editors…

If you’re gonna feature anything Twilight related in your trashy pages can I ask that you at least give us some current pictures and news? I know this is the digital age and all but still! Try a little harder. Oh and can I get a refund on the OK mag?

Your faithful reader,
Themoonisdown

PS It was raining here in Phoenix and when I arrived my mom turned to me and said “Arizona, how you likin’ the rain girl?!… I’ve been waiting ALL day to say that to you!” Please love how awesome my mom is. Also she says a BIG thank you and WE DID IT to all those who voted for Kris Allen on American Idol!

Have an extra 40k laying around? Wanna buy Robert Pattinson’s affection for a few minutes? These people did!

Friday Forum daily chat rules!

Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez come out. Officially.

And they called it puuupppyyyy looooveeee

Dear Taylor-

Looks like someone had the DTR* talk recently!! I can’t say how excited I am for you two… you’re so cute I just want to squeeze you like a couple of cabbage patch kids!

As a girl with an ass ton of guy friends I can say with some authority that I believe a DTR talk has occurred because unless you two are underage drunk in broad daylight on the sidewalk in front of the paps, no one goes for the under the boob side grab. Not even good friends.

Have your fun and kick out the jams with Selena now because puppy love is fleeting but Wolfgirl love is forever.

Your older wiser faux sister something
Themoonisdown

*for the uninitiated or those no longer in High School, DTR= “define the relationship”

Picture Source: Lainey Gossip

The New Moon movie poster leaks and makes a big impression on the Quad! That’s what she said!

You bes be steppin' Edward! There's a new set of cheekbones in town!

Dear LTT-ers

So when the official New Moon poster leaked yesterday evening we KNEW there had to be a special “Breaking it down Vanity Fair Style” post on Letters to Twilight. So I shined the Quad Signal in the sky and we all convened at a google chat room our super top secret lair of awesomness and commenced a super-de-dooper fangirl breaking it down!  So get yourself a cocktail and a comfortable chair and settle in cause this one’s a dooooozy…  and see how many times Eastfriend talks about cheekbones and a special fake prize to anyone who catches how many time’s we say “that’s what she said.”

Get excited folks, New Moon is around the corner!
Themoonisdown, UnintendedChoice and the Quad

moon: myello
Eastfriend: i am here and i am enjoying deliciousness. and cheekbones.
moon: omg the bigger one is SO much better! THATS WHAT SHE SAID
UC: SOOOOO GOOOOD hahahah
moon: you can see all the details!
Eastfriend: THATS WHAT SHE SAID!
UC: good start so hot. lemme pull it up. THATS what she said! off to a great start
Eastfriend:  i love that jacob is in between them…that is KEY!
moon: the pissed off faces
moon: rob definitely gives better face
Eastfriend: he gives better head. ahem.
moon: that too. and the FISTS!! time to fight boys!
Eastfriend: loving the crest.
Eastfriend: CHeekBONeS. forever.
moon: no tattoo in the shot though. big reveal later
UC: I know when they did this poster
moon: it was that DAY with all those great pics on set
Eastfriend: yep.
Eastfriend: cheekbones.
UC: you’re loving those bones huh? that’s what she said
UC: He looks the same. and amazing. short hair. his hair is a bit longer now
Eastfriend: he looks exactly same, that’s why he had the orange blush on that day–photoshoot.
moon: the wardrobe

Summer Donna! Simmer down now!

UC: yep exactly. Tay’s loooking great. I’m so proud of him
Eastfriend: her hair is lamespice.
UC: like he’s my lil brother. Kristen looks beautiful though, her face
moon: jacob looks like he’s somewhere between pouting and being sassy
moon: hes been taking classes with selena at the disney school of faces
UC: Tay looks dark next to Rob. which is good. he wishes it were Selena
UC: do you think that Kristen wanted to push over Taylor to get to Rob? but couldn’t b/c of his huge native american muscles?
EastFriend: rob is 100% better than last poster. thank GOD!
UC: So far this photographer is awesome i mean.. the green screen is cool. and the photoshopper is awesome
Eastfriend: CHEEkboneS.
Moon: yea SO much better than the last. he looks more real and less lame-o vampire

Much more to be covered… Rob’s makeup tips, inspecting things south of the border, Westfriend weighs in and MORE after the cut

Birthday Wishes for Robert Pattinson from the Twilight crew

Dear Rob,

Yes. We realize there is an entire site dedicated to you (LetterstoRob, holla) but today is ALL about YOU! It is your birthday, afterall! So happy birthday from us, UC & Moon. We’re just popping in here quickly to tell you we collected birthday wishes or gifts from your favorite castmates from The Twilight Saga. And boy are they awesome! We hope you enjoy them!

Love,
UC & Moon

PS don’t forget to check out the party at the forum in YOUR honor and the very special edition of Letters to Rob!

this could be YOU rob! (click to enlarge! trust!)

Jackson Rathbone
For your birthday, you get to spend some time in the Banana suit that randomly travels around with my band, 100Monkeys. Don’t question the reason for the banana. Just jump in the suit and have a good time. Oh, and try not to sweat too much. That thing is a bitch to wash so we haven’t done it, ever. But don’t worry- we bought it only slightly used and it’s been around since ’92, so it’s good quality. Happy birthday, banana man!

Kellan Lutz

Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them

Today, Rob, I am burdened with prayer for you. I committ, as your accountability partner, to spend at least one hour in constant prayer for you today. I will pray for a variety things such as your inability to get over Kristen, your smoking habit, for your protection from the Pattinson Pants & Pattinson Tattoo ladies and that you will find the strength to do the necessary exercises to obtain a 6 pack such as mine. I’d also love to go clubbing with you later, if you’re up for it. I met some smokin’ hot ladies in Hollywood last night that I bet we can witness to, ifyouknowwhatimsaying (wink wink!). Prayin’ that it’s a kick-ass birthday, man!

Eat your heart out Rob!

Ashley Greene

Rob, it’s clear to me that you need another $103 LNA zip-up hoodie so I’m gonna take you to Kitson to get one! It’s on me.. No, no no, I don’t want you paying. Oh fine, you can contribute your budgeted amount for a hoodie. What’s that $40 or $50..? Oh… three dollars? Are you kidding me? Robbie, I think they charge more than that to walk in the door at Kitson…. Oh well, Happy Birthday anyway you cheap-ass friend. Oh and seriously you like THOSE girls more than me?? Hummmppphh. Maybe I should get you a brain and a pair of eyeballs for your birthday instead of a hoodie.
XO

Hair hair haaaair, long beautiful hair!

Rachelle Lefevre

Hey Rob, as we all know one of the main things you’re known for is your hair. I mean remember all the hoopla in December when you cut it off? Or all the questions on the Twilight press junket about your hair and how you never wash it and how it has a life of it’s own? Yea, well we all remember it very well cause we were asked non stop about it. Thanks. So for your birthday I’m going to give you free hair tips since mine is so faboo. I’m also going to teach you how to wash it every few days so people will stop asking that question! I’ll also introduce you to this awesome dry shampoo that you spray into your hair to soak up the grease. It’s a gift

Forget those little girls Rob... grrrr!

from God himself. And then I’ll let you let me scratch your head and massage your hair follicles to encourage growth. What? You’ve never heard of that? Just go with it babe. Trust me.

Elizabeth Reaser

Rob, I saw how you were looking at me during the Vanity Fair photoshoot. You couldn’t keep your eyes off me, if I do say so myself. So for your birthday I’m going to teach you the ways of a real mature woman! Forget these GIRLS… I’ll show you ALL the tricks you’ll ever need and then leave you wanting more you’ll be prepared for your future girlfriends.

M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E!! (click to enlarge)

Taylor Lautner

Hey man, it’s a big day for you and I know you have to juggle a lot what with you “being” Edward and all the crazy fans who follow you to your hotel and trying to put off the fact that everyone thinks you and Kristen are bumping uglies. Let me give you a pointer: get with a Disney girl and walk around with umbrellas and hug in the rain. Everyone will be too blinded by the cuteness to ever care or think to care about you two doing da nasty. TRUST.

Oh and Selena told me to tell you she’ll let you know what happens at the end of this season of Wizards of Waverly Place if you’ll autograph her Edward body glitter container.

Some Enchanted Evening. Prom: 1990never

Stephenie Meyer

Rob for your birthday I want to rewrite Breaking Dawn so that Bella chooses Jacob and you Edward realizes his mistake and he actually marries Ms. Stephenie Meyer Cope, the older more mature woman in Twilight and you take her off to Isle Esme. I’m also going to rewrite the part where you Edward takes my Ms. Cope’s hand and pulls her DEEPER into the water… to read more like my actual NC-17 dream that I had about how the honeymoon REALLY went down. So if you’ll fly down to Phoenix this weekend we can just run through a couple positions ideas I’ve come up with and see what works and what doesn’t. You’ll glower and I’ll show my chagrin and it’ll be awesome! This is really going to be AVN Oscar Awards worthy! I can’t wait!!!