Moons friend is a Twilight comment whore, but not the way you think

*When my friend told me he skims our posts but reads our comments religiously every day I knew he had to write a letter to you all. And after much (read: me asking) convincing he has written a little love letter to you all so without further adieu I present to you my friend and fellow “Little People, Big World” lover…*

I'm pretty sure he would never be caught dead in this shirt

Dear Twi-Hards,

Let me write a quick introduction: I’m a dude. I’m straight. If my brothers knew that I was writing an entry for a blog called Letters to Twilight, they would kick my ass, assuming they know what Twilight is.

I’ve read the first book, and get the general gist of the rest of the series (girl meets vampire, falls for him, vampire leaves for some reason, nice guy werewolf tries to pick of the pieces, something about a Vampire Senate, vampire C-section, werewolf trying to fuck a baby, ecetera ecetera).

And let me be very clear about this: my involvement with the Twilight series began as something entirely mercenary. I had an outside shot at working for someone involved with the Twilight franchise (Twi-chise? Twi-fran? Team Franchise?) so that’s why I read the book and watched the first flick (in the theaters, no less!).

Now, I don’t like Twilight. At it’s best, it reads like well-crafted Buffy fan-fiction, and at it’s worst, it reads like an abstinent goth teenager ate a bad piece of soy-based pizza and watched that Ann Rice vampire movie with Brad Pitt.

The main character is bland, and has no redeeming qualities other than smelling nice or something. And she’s pretty? It’s saying a lot that I can’t remember anything about her other than those two facts.

Edward is basically a really good-looking vampire version of that guy that used to give you a lot of mixtapes, even after he told you that he just wanted to be friends. If Bella had any sense, she’d just make Edward do her homework and help her pick outfits for the shooting guard of Fork’s basketball team. Maybe one time she could get really drunk and let him feel her up, but then she’d have to hear about how it was the greatest night of his life for the next year and a half.

Jacob is a puppy dog (GET IT?!) sort of doofy dude who would probably end up being really cool in college and then marrying someone who’s probably too good-looking for him, but he’d be too dumb to be self conscious about it. I actually kind of like the guy, which makes the part at the end about him wanting to bang an infant all the more terrible.

Oh the power of the comments... just a click away from infamy or stupidity

But, all this being said, I am fucking addicted to reading this blog. Like, to the point of absurdity. It’s the first thing I read at work, which I’m sure would be enough to allow me to be castrated in Uganda (topical joke!).

BUT THAT’S NOT EVEN THE WORST PART! The worst part is that every work day, about a half hour it’s quitting time, I refresh the blog entry and start on the comments.

Oh, the comments. That’s what keeps me coming back, ladies. You have no idea. I start, and I go until my little heart can’t take any more. They’re like my own personal version of low-grade methamphetamine’s, except that they’re distributed by WordPress and not biker gangs.

Follow the cut to read the rest of his crazy fascination with your lovely commenters!

Twilosophy: I am NOT the number 1 Twilight fan!

Dear Twilight and fellow LTT-ers,

Recently a girl I sorta know found out about the blogs and asked me “so you’re like the number one Twilight fan, huh?!” and I wholeheartedly and vehemently said NO! No I am NOT the number one Twilight fan cause in my mind number one fan is some crazy lunatic with Twilight tattoos, owns the entire line of tshirts from Hot Topic, sleeps on the sidewalk for days on end…  number one fan brings to mind visions of that show, FANatic on MTV and how some crazy person deemed an artist’s number one fan went apeshit when they met SugarRay or Britney Spears and that’s about the farthest thing from what I’d do if I ever REALLY met any of these people in real life. In reality I’d pretty much look the other way while hoping they didn’t think I was staring at them. Far from having a fangirl freak out or even acknowledging that I know who they are and NEVER ever in a million years mentioning that I write a blog about them or the books every day.

Yup, number one fan, that's me!

But just because I’m not those things that make me think #1 fan does that make me any less of one? Maybe I really am a number 1 fan. I run this blog, I’ve been to more than my fair share of Twilight related events, heck I have business cards in my handbag with this blog’s URL on it… somehow in my mind this does not equate number one fan but to the outside world, aka the rest of the population, who only know Twilight as that thing “the kids are into” I probably look like the biggest fan that ever lived.

I shudder to think!

So what does it all mean? Follow the cut to see what I come up with…

Rereading New Moon Chapters 3-6

Dear LTT-ers,

I wrote last week about rereading New Moon to “prepare myself” to the premiere THIS WEEK (crazy we can say that now) and last time I wrote about Carlisle’s icicle hands but this time I think I wanna talk a little bit about fate.

After I finally made it through that wretched “The End” chapter, cried (yup, again) at “the months” and made it through “Waking Up” chapter we finally make it to “The Cheater” aka Bella wants to be Evil Knievel. I was anxious to get through it because I knew the next chapter was “Friends” and Jacob finally comes back into the picture to rescue us from this emo-fest we’ve been in for the last 4 chapters but I was struck by a simple sentence Stephenie wrote right as Bella sees the motorcycles in the Markses yard. She writes:

“Sometimes, kismet happens.”

And of course I got to thinking about kismet and how it plays out in not only the books but my life outside of the books. So if we believe Merriam-Webster and their slutty cousin Dictionary.com than Kismet means “fate or destiny” that this was meant to happen. Edward leaving Bella had to be part of the master plan, she needed to do some growing on her own apart from their all-encompassing relationship. And without Edward leaving Bella wouldn’t have turned into a reclusive hermet girl making Charlie yell at her to go out and see friends and Bella wouldn’t have been out driving aimlessly if he hadn’t. Bella finding those bikes was meant to be because it leads her to Jacob and rekindling their friendship that ultimately helps bring her out of the pits of depression and eventually becomes a more rounded, better equipped person for when Edward finally shows back up at the end of the story.

Then me being me I took it a step further thinking about kismet in my own life, it was kismet that my coworker lent me her Twilight book which I become addicted to which led me to seek out other people who had been reading them which led me to see a Facebook status post UC had written around the same time which made us strike up a Twilight conversation. And well if it wasn’t kismet that made us start Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob than truly I don’t know what is because without these blogs tons of people who never knew each other people would never have met otherwise. It still blows my mind to think about all the people that not only UC and I have met but all the people around the world who have met each other because one day we decided, or perhaps it was fated that we start these blogs.

So yes, I really do believe that sometimes kismet happens. What about you?

MTB,
Moon

PS Speaking of people we’ve met because of these blogs, today a bunch of you are flying into LA for a week of New Moon mania and I can’t wait to see all your faces and hug your necks and say a little thanks for kismet

Take the jump so we can get a little business outta the way……

The tassle’s worth the hassle! Twilight stars graduate

Seniors Rule, underclassmen drool! FORKS SENIORS YALL!!!

Dear Graduating Vampires, Humans and I’m sure some of the Werewolves,

We break for the weekend and you all decide to go and graduate on us. I’m a little disappointed I didn’t receive an invitation to commencement but I’ll just assume mine is lost in the mail and head over to Hallmark asap to get you all a bunch of shiz that says “Class of 2009” that you will eventually find 5 years later when you’re cleaning out our old bedroom at your parents house. Return it NOW for cash. Trust me.

Seeing the caps and gowns and fake diplomas got me thinking about when I graduated and how I loved those cheesy quotes that people used in their commencement speeches, on graduation announcements, and as the class motto so I got to thinking about which quote you guys would choose for your graduation. And here’s what I came up with…

Bella Swan - biggest tease

Mike Newton
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us  (burritos).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Bella Swan
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did….  (so TURN me already, Edward!! GEEZ!!) ~Attributed to Mark Twain, unconfirmed

Angela Weber
Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. (Cause it always freaking rains in freaking Forks, Washington)  ~Anthony J. D’Angelo, The College Blue Book

Best lines in a movie about vampires and hottest body when not playing a nerd

Eric Yorkie
Excellence is not a skill.  It is an attitude  (So CHILLAX!). ~Ralph Marston

Edward Cullen
The important thing is not to stop questioning (But I hope you enjoy disappointment). ~Albert Einstein

Alice Cullen
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance! Manolo Blahniks ~Andy McIntyre

(I know, I know they didn’t graduate the same year, but just go with it…)

Forks class of 09

Rosalie Hale
Education is the best provision for old age. (So it becoming an Vampire)  ~Aristotle

Jasper Hale
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies ‘commencement exercises’. Graduation is not the end, it’s the beginning (trust me, I’ve done this like 50 times) – Orrin Hatch

Emmett Cullen
Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go, instead, where there is no path and leave a trail (but hopefully no scent for any murderous nomadic vampires).  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happy Graduation!

Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world (so is blogging about Vampires),
Themoonisdown

UC brings the awesome over at Letters to Rob
Sign Edwards yearbook in the forum!

Twilosophy of the fandom – REAL Twilight fan?

REAL fan?!

Dear LTTers/Twilosophy Majors,

For quite some time now we’ve been reading emails, viewing other sites posts, receiving comments, and talking between us about what it is to be a “REAL fan.” We’ve been told by countless people that because of what we post we are not “Real fans”  and we’ve read on many other fansites and blogs and been on email chains toting the tenants of a “REAL fan” And apparently we (and many of you) are not “Real fans” because  being a ‘REAL fan” means something quite different to us than them. To certain folks, being a fan, means always agreeing with the powers that be, always saying something nice or non-divisive, loving everything about the saga or movies, opposing any sort of speculation or the posting of any possible rumors and god forbid: posting a picture taken by a paparazzo! The horror! But we beg to differ (of course!) because we definitely do all the above so-called no-no’s but we also love this saga like McAdams loved Gosling (RIP). And who’s to decide the level of someone else’s fandom? Can we really base our love for something on these outward displays of devotion?

• does kissing butt and blindly accepting everything make you a “real fan”

• does bringing up objections and differing opinions make you any less of a fan?

• Does it make us less of a fan of the actors or books by posting a paparazzi picture?

• When we write something in jest about an actor or character does that make us mean spirited?

I still read every little dumb post, read every article and buy every magazine (well the ones with the good pics!), own TWO full sets of the saga, own a Pocket Edward, co-write two blogs about Twilight and Rob, talk incessantly about the stories, have recommended the books to countless people and yet I’m not a “REAL fan?”

Because I’m a word nerd I looked up the word “fan” and here’s what we get…

Fan –noun
an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.
Origin:
1885–90, Americanism; short for fanatic

Synonyms:
supporter, enthusiast, ardent admirer, booster, addict

Not a fan!

Ok, so I’m pretty sure we could be called enthusiastic devotees and ardent admirers and most definitely ADDICTS! So what does it all mean? UC and I have sat around dwelling on this topic for months now and we hope that it comes across in the right way. Not as a pat on the back for ourselves but as validation to the other countless fans, YOU GUYS, who are just like us, think it’s alright to do all those things listed above and still be a fan! That’s why we started a blog- not just for the hell of starting a blog- but to be different. To say something interesting about the Saga we love. To BE those true fans who say “I love this so much I’m not afraid to admit that you suck in that moment” To say – no- you did it wrong. Because by doing that makes our happiness and excitement that much more genuine.

You know those friends or boyfriends when you ask “does this make me look fat?” or “What do you think of this dress?” automatically answer “YES?” While it’s nice to hear a compliment, in the end I’m going to trust the person who told me I looked like “a stuffed sausage in spanx” for advice over the “You look like Heidi Klum” person any day, because I know they’re being honest and want the best for me. And I only look like Heidi Klum on weekends after all.

Yes, frequently

On the same tip, when someone writes a review in the New York Times- they’re honest (and yes, I’m comparing us to the New York Times, go with it for the sake of the lecture!) They don’t say what they think the publishing house wants them to say. They don’t take the authors feelings into consideration. They are truly honest- and I think it’s important for people to have their own opinions. And equally as important: we need to leave room for other people’s opinions who differ from our own! it’s like “they” say: variety is the spice of life, differences make the world go round, never turn down a free filet-o-fish or whatever it is “they” say.  So that’s what we will do and continue to do. Write honest, while humorous, looks at saga and movies we love so much while being open for differing opinions, LOVING the good and calling out the bad.

a REAL fan,
Themoonisdown

So what say you? Do you feel like there are signs for true fandom? Have you been judged as a fan either way?

Don’t miss out on some Rob goodies at Letters to Rob
Real fans love the forum!

This Cosmic Love – Edward and Bella

Dear Edward and Bella,

Sometimes words can adequately explain why your love story is so great. So words like cosmic seem like the only thing that can come near to explaining something so big, so strong and all encompassing. When Calli sent this video over I knew somehow someone had tapped into just a little once of truth regarding you two. The video features the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine and I really can’t think of a better way to state the good, the bad and the lovely about you two. I was so intrigued by the term cosmic that I wanted to see the full extent of the term and here’s what good ol Merriam Webster had to say on the subject:

Cosmic
1 a : of or relating to the cosmos, the extraterrestrial vastness, or the universe in contrast to the earth alone b : of, relating to, or concerned with abstract spiritual or metaphysical ideas
2 : characterized by greatness especially in extent, intensity, or comprehensiveness

Yea, I think that about sums it up…
Themoonisdown

PS big thanks to the lovely, radical, funny Calli

What words would you use to describe Bella and Edward?

Follow the cut to read the lyrics

Choices: A fork in the road. Jacob, Edward or Bella?

Omg, is it November yet?

Dear Twilosophy Majors-

This picture from New Moon just came out yesterday. A picture of a scene that I’m very much looking forward to and also dreading at the same time. (I think) It’s the scene after Bella cliff dives and Jacob’s taking her back home after they get the news about Harry Clearwater. They’re sitting in the truck and Bella starts contemplating the ‘What If’s” of her and Jacob and then of course Alice shows up. The whole scene just kills me because she’s right on the verge, she’s at the fork in her road of making this decision to finally move on from Edward and choose to be happy again with Jacob. And no matter which way she goes, the thought of her choosing either makes me angry. Because I can see the Jacob side of the argument and well hello, the other side is Edward and really truth be told I don’t really think she deserves either of them.

So the whole thing got me thinking… what if she didn’t choose either of them? What if she decided to choose HERSELF?

And maybe this is the fierce, adult, independent, college graduate, living on her own in me talking but I think Bella needs to find herself before she can ever really love either one of them they way they need to be loved and they way she needs to love. And that’s pretty evident by her shenanigans in the following book, Eclipse. Bella is an eighteen year old girl! I don’t know about anyone else out there but I am about a 180 from who I was mentally, emotionally and experience wise when I was 18. This is not meant as a diss to anyone younger but just from my own experience and I was a mature 18 too. I truly don’t believe Bella is at a place to even make these decisions. She’s semi fresh off a break up with her first true love, she meets a good guy friend, she regularly contemplates dangerous activities and one can argue suicide from the cliff diving incident alone and then an hour later she’s trying to decide if she should commit to another serious relationship with a boy?

HOLD UP, wait a minute! Bella, please stop running from boy to boy looking for what’s missing, when what’s missing is something that is only fixable by YOU, inside YOU! Bella needs to choose to be alright. She needs to choose to not let her entire being be defined by her relationships with the opposite sex.

I know that’s not easy an easy road to go down at any age much less at 17 but it’s an important journey that I think would have made the character of Bella infinitely more interesting and relatable. And not to mention a healthy role model for young girls.

So let’s open this up to the class…

Am I some crazy Destiny’s Child Independent Woman up in here or am I right in the assumption that Bella needs to take a step back and figure out herself?

Can you truly know yourself at 18? Or 21? Or even 50 for that matter?

Can you be in a “healthy” relationship if you’re not healthy yourself? If you’re not confident in who you are apart of your partner?

And discuss…
Themoonisdown

Read more Twilosophy!
Celebrate National Cougar Day with Rob and UC at Letters to Rob
Break it down more over at The Forum!

Picture from LA Times

Your laughs are directly proportional to your tears with these Monday Twilight Funnies

Dear LTT-ers,

Welcome back to hell after a nice long holiday weekend, at least for our fellow US friends, and for everyone else well, just welcome back. So are you like me and you have work piled up on your desk that you put off last week cause you were “busy with other projects?” When what really happened is you were in a Robert Pattinson fueled daze from OD-ing on all the pics and videos from the set of Remember Me and just couldn’t pull it together long enough to do that report or create that power point presentation for your super important meeting? Yea, me too. Well I’ve got the perfect compromise… need to look like you’re busy catching up, but really want to peruse the interwebs for what happened in the Rob/Twi world over the weekend? I present you with some Twilight themed graphs and diagrams courtesy of Graphjam.com. Keep these open in a separate tab while you check all the usual Twi site suspects this morning and when the boss walks by you can click back over here and he’ll think you’re hard at work with only the bottom line in mind when it’s really Rob’s bottom that’s on your mind (Hit it! remember that one?!).

Obviously this graph was made after they saw one of three things:
1. Attending (by mistake) a 100 Monkeys, Sam Bradley, or other random Twi-affiliated band’s concert (Canvas tote bags, Monkey hats, Goth Maria Von Trapp, anyone?!)
2. The Pattinson Pants lady in her natural habitat (a Twi-conference in line to meet Gil Birmingham)
3. Getting in the middle of a heated Team Edward vs Team Jacob debate after accidentally standing in the New Moon midnight showing line

I think some of us (especially the OG fans pre 2008) can testify to this one. The more popular the saga gets because of the movie the less they want to be apart of the fandom. The crazy stalkers, the cheapening of the storyline, the lame merchandise, the pop cultural saturation. We just have to keep our eyes on the prize and remember the reason we love Twilight is because of the story. Stay strong yall! Don’t let the CAS get ya down!

We’ve all been there, trying to explain to your skeptical friend why Edward and the other vampires SPARKLE in the sunlight. But they’re vampires, they’re not supposed to go in the sun anyway! Ok, ok it’s a FANTASY just go with it!

Oh crap here comes your boss! Minimize MINIMIZE!!

Happy Monday!
Themoonisdown

See what UC’s up to over there with Rob
Commiserate with other folks in the daily chat thread over at the Forum!