He agrees with us!

Dear Kristen and the recent haters-

2nd question:

What is it that you can’t bear about the person next to you?
Rob: “Her personality.”

BOOM. Roasted! (office anyone?)

See! Even Robert agrees with us!

Love ya
the gals who run this joint

One picture, Two takes: a blogger divided

Take 1 –

Dear Kristen –

I’m usually not your biggest fan (as you might know, if you read these other letters, seriously they’re for your own good!) but I saw this picture on TMZ (gross i KNOW!) and I had to stop and give you props, cause dang girl you’re keeping it real with that car. You could waste mad money on some car you won’t ever drive cause you’re on location making movies or just to keep up a fake appearances like so many other Hollywood dbags, but you don’t. A refreshing move in a city full of facades.

❤
Me

KStew riding dirrrtay

Take 2-

Dear Kristen-

You don’t need to show us how “real” you are. We get it, you’re down with “the people” and you’re not enslaved to “the man,” by such superficial things like cars.

But honey, you might think about investing some of your weed money into a safer ride instead of smoking it up. Just a thought.

Oh and can you please move your shit-whip, it’s in my way and I need to fill up.

Thanks,
Me

It’s your birthday… and other things

Dear Jackson-

It’s your birthday and you’re 24! How exciting… I’m sure you’re getting all kinds of goodies from your parents and hopefully your pals are out getting you drunk (at a decent LA bar)… if they aren’t, call me and I’ll make it happen when I’m back in LA after xmas, I’m known for my birthday party ideas! Seriously. Anyway, since I’m sure you’re getting tons of cheesy stuff from fans I thought I’d give you what I like to call “Real Talk.” Simply put, I’m gonna give it to you straight…

I actually got the chance/pleasure/displeasure of seeing the show at the 24k last Tuesday… and I was a bit surprised I didn’t realize you were the ’em cee’ / promoter of these nights! That was a fun little surprise but from one concert professional to another I really feel like I must share a few insights with you…

1. First, I totally respect and give you big ups for putting on a show at a small venue that focuses on local acts and ‘up n comers’ (ahem). BUUUTTT if you’re going to feature local acts at least choose artists that are actually GOOD, not just your friends. I mean the hulu/reggae cover of ‘wonderwall’ by that one band was more than I could take… followed by the avril/guitarman duo and then the hipster wanna-be rock band. WTF? seriously.

2. Invest in a proper sound guy. I haven’t heard that much feedback since I took the A/V class in junior high.

myspace.com/these100monkeys

3. If your band is going to play, go on at a decent hour… take the good slot: midnight. not the closing hour slot. 2AM on a Tuesday is NOT pretty.

4. invite more of your twilight pals 😀 seeing Kellan was like a breath of fresh air in that stank bar. More on this later…

5. Pick a decent venue!! I can’t stress this enough. Get thee out of West Hollywood PRONTO! Talk about bad atmosphere and even lamer people. Come to the eastside I will show you all the good spots and get people who actually care about music to your shows. Imagine that.

Anyway pal, these are small fixable things that could make your shows a billion times better, trust me! And again props for putting on a local show… you’re a dying breed.

Smooches and ear plugs!
Me

P.S. I loved that plaid jacket…  and how you totally worked the room, you were definitely the ‘belle of that ball’ that night. I think you might be a really neat-o person if we were ever friends.

MySpace: 100 Monkeys