Open Weekend Post: Hosted by Prom Edward

Honey, tilt your date a little, he's glaring in the flash!

Dear Girl going to prom with a cut out Edward,

I’m sure the reason you’re going to prom with a cardboard cutout stems from some really awful “Mean Girls” type story where your best friend stole your prom date / best friend / wanna be boyfriend (a la ME) in High School and you were forced to improvise and this is what you came up with, but I gotta just say it, if you’re gonna do this you gotta go hard or go home.

Why doesn’t the cardboard Edward have a tweed jacket on, or better yet why didn’t you take the cardboard New Moon Edward in his tweed suit with you instead of Twilight Edward in his shirtsleeves? And how are you going to pin a boutonniere on him? You’re just going to spend all night re-duct taping it to his flat chest. And what about when you two are grinding on the dance floor to “Bedrock?” That flower is just gonna keep falling off.  I mean how is this even plausible? And your dress, that’s not a combination of black, white or red OR an exact replica of movie Bella’s prom get up. And I see NO ribbon ties on your shoes. I mean, do you even know anyone named Alice!?

If you were serious you would have hired the real Edward to escort you in a tux and give you his mothers old corsage (dried flowers are in) and if you really wanted to make the girls and boys jealous you’d bring along Jacob too! The ultimate love triangle at the Prom in Anytown, USA, like this girl…

Take it from the master honey, follow her example and you’ll be all set for Homecoming next year!

A Night To Remember!
Themoonisdown

HAPPY WEEKEND! Did you go to Prom? If not, do you regret it (I don’t!) What was the theme? What would a Twilight themed Prom entail besides total and utter lunacy and embarrassment?

Thanks Failblog!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

One cannot exist on Twilight alone

To Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade & whoever has the horrific job of making Renesmee come to life on the big screen,

A Warning not to mess with Twihards:

charcoalvolvoMoon: Can you EFFING believe David Slade and the props department for Eclipse? I mean, do they think we’re blind or something?! That Volvo is CHARCOAL! CHARCOAL!!
UC: I know, I mean.. that’s almost as bad as if Harry Clearwater had famous SHRIMP FRY or something
Moon: Or Newton’s ran a SHOE store and not an outfitters. Helllloooo we’re fans- We’re the readers. We’re gonna know this stuff!
UC: Do they think we’re Vampire Diaries fans or something? Ugh

Guys- learn from Cathy the Cougar’s mistakes. There were soooo many inconsistencies between Twilight the book and Twilight the movie.

  • In the book, Bella’s first day at Forks High School is on January 19. In the film, her first day is in March. This is a MAJOR issue. MAJOR problems could happen because of the different dates. I can’t think of any right now, but I know it’s a MAJOR big deal.
  • Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Bella’s mom painted the kitchen cabinets YELLOW to bring ‘sunshine’ to Forks. The cabinets in the movie were WHITE. WHITE! What would it cost? Like $3.00 paint them yellow? You could’ve made Rob eat what craft services made for 3-4 days and cut his hot pocket budget back to make up for the lost $3.00.

  • And in the movie when Bella entered Biology class and talked to Eric about getting her playlist for prom, she started to walk then pauses to look across the room towards Edward. In this shot the Armadillo is not on the shelf, and only what looks like a piece of paper is hanging there. Then the Armadillo appears on the shelf only after she has sat down at her desk and Edward moves the microscope towards Bella saying “Ladies first”. What is WRONG with you? Did you remember the Armadillo and then FORGET the armadillo? What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I just don’t even know what to say….
  • And I was extremely offended by Bella’s outfit in the movie when she goes to meet the Cullens for the first time.  Jeans, a green top & a jacket? How do you think Old Navy felt when they saw that? They stocked up on khaki skirts in every store expecting to sell out because girls would want to look like Bella from the movie. They didn’t even sell one (oh wait- Cathy the Cougar bought one because she felt bad) Old Navy ended up donating them all to some orphanage in Russia. Those poor Russian girls (and boys)… walking around in mid-nineties styles.
  • When Bella sees Jacob at the prom in the movie, he hasn’t grown significantly like in the book. Why!? WHY would you do that to us Cathy the Cougar? Did you not read the book? Jacob is supposed to grow! Jacob is a WEREWOLF! Werewolves aren’t small little baby boys. WHY!?
  • Speaking of the prom, WHERE were the rest of the Cullen kids? This is a BIG DEAL that they weren’t there! A BIG DEAL.

Chris, David, poor chap who will have to make a fake baby look real, we’re fasting & praying that you do better than SHE did…… And to YOU, David Slade…. how dare you make the Volvo CHARCOAL. Chris… I better not find out that you make the Newton Outfitters employee vest YELLOW instead of Orange.

High expectations,
UnintendedChoice

How we really feel after the jump Continue reading