I Don’t Get It – The Kristen Stewart edition

*Before you get your pitchforks, tar and feathers and rope to string me up in the nearest town square, please see this as a healthy debate and read to the end with an open mind… aaaannddd GO!*

Get it

Dear Kristen Stewart Shippers,

I’m just gonna put it out there. After over a year of follower this saga and it’s fandom, the actors, even working on a project close to a Kristen movie, reading all the Tweets and posts about her, seeing her movies, watching her interviews, seeing her in person several times,  I just gotta say it: 

I DON’T GET IT.

I don’t get why people love Kristen so much. Sure, I totally agree she’s a pretty girl, she’s probably nice in person, she tries to be different, she has that “I don’t care” attitude,” WHATEVER. And maybe I’ve never fake lezzed out over a female celeb before but  I seriously DON’T get it. I’m not a star and I dress better than her. I even wash my hair every other day. And I gotta say it, I smile quite often and don’t look like I’m in pain at work events. And because I’m looking to fill up our inbox and the comments section with death threats I thought I’d talk about it and get your opinion.

Don't drink the KStew-laid

So it seems lately that the Kristen shippers mixed up a huge batch of Kristen-is-awesome-Koolaid and passed it around to EVERYONE who seemed to gladly gulp that shiz down. I even gave them a chance and looked at links and pictures but just couldn’t see what was so tasty about the sweet nectar of that KStew-laid. Here are the main points that most KStew fans point out as their favorite things about Kristen and I break them down…

AFTER the cut will I ever GET IT?
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Kristen Stewart in Bella’s new wig!

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Dear Eclipse Wig Dept,

Since Eclipse started filming last week and no one’s seen Kristen Stewart in her new Bella get-up everyone’s been well: wigging out. Heh. Clearly fans have been flipping out since they saw Kstew’s Runaways hair and wondered what the crap you were going to do with it for Eclipse. Wigs? Tracks? A weave? Extensions?! The mind spins with options! Ok, maybe that’s the 2 “big girl” drinks I just had, but spinning none the less.

So maybe we weren’t so kind to your New Moon counterparts a few months ago when we saw poor Jackson in that god awful poodle wig that was designed for Jasper. I still shudder even now when I see it and don’t know if I’ll be able to overcome it when I’m watching the movie, but well, I guess that’s something you have to live with and not me. Just don’t be surprised if I have Vietnam style flashbacks during the premiere anytime Jasper is on screen. But anyhow, what I’m now currently worrying about is what Bella’s wig will look like. I know we all let out a collective gasp and clutched our throats when we saw that KStew up and got crazy and cut herself a mullet for Runaways filming (you guys more than us I’m sure). Cause now you have to deal with that dead raccoon on her head and turn it into beautiful Bella hair. Sucks to be you all. BUUTT since we’re professional bloggers and total Twilight nerds around here, we’re here to help and I’ve got a few suggestions that just might work for The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09…

Since we’re in a recession and Jacob is now a werewolf you won’t need his old wigs, so why not reuse that for Bella’s wig? Almost the same color, just curl it up a little and presto long hair! We’re in a recessional yall and we all know how Summit likes to save a few clams so WIN WIN!
bellajacobwig bellajacobwig02

And since we’re talking about re-using why not try out the old Jasper poodle wig?! What, Bella’s not blond? Who cares, make her squirm a little for cutting it all off.
bellajasperwig

Follow the cut to see some more AWESOME wigs!
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