Before we had the REAL thing

Dear 2007 & 2008,

I’ve been reminiscing. Reminiscing about a time before the drama of “Is David Slade or isn’t David Slade being replaced by a taller director?” and “Are Rob & Kristen really making love for hours on end in front of a fire on a bear skin rug or are they just banging quickly on a leopard printed one?” I was thinking back to YOUR time- when casting announcements were just being announced for the movies, a petition was being sent around to have Rob replaced in the films & Big Daddy hadn’t yet become a household name. Melissa Rosenberg hadn’t yet penned “How you likin’ da rain Arizona,” and Cathy Hardi was still hard at work coming up with a list of “terrible, awful, no good lines for Rob Pattinson to say when Kristen Stewart first climbs on his back.” Sigh… those were the good ol’ days.

Actually, I wasn’t around then but I would have been if I had known better. However, as I’ve read every page and seen every image the internet has to offer about the Twilight saga & its actors, I’ve discovered that things were different back then. Things were different before. Before the hype. Before the drama. Before there were promo photos, videos and interviews. Before anyone knew any better….. This stuff was made:

Back when Edward Cullen, the 21st century’s Romeo, was seen as a vampire with a mullet and loved a heroine who young enough to give Chris Hansen a MAJOR career booster.

Back when Pete Wentz was someone’s dream Edward Cullen

Back when a REAL Native American was expected to play Jacob

Back when Ronald McDonald fought a random Italian dude for Bella’s love

Back when no one was good enough for Rob Pattinson, so Ariel had to fill in

Was Ashlee Simpson someone’s dream Rosalie? Check it out after the jump!

2nd hand embarrassment – Vtines edition

Dear LTT readers and fuzzy animal lovers from around the globe,

In continuing with our Valentine’s Day spirit, let’s all be embarrassed about the creation of this photo:

Aw, wook at the fuzzy wuzzy wammy and wion. Aw (barf)

Love,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown who swear to never impose Rob and Kristen’s faces on children’s bodies, ever.

Thanks to Aja for the heads up! Not sure where the pic came from originally. If the owner would like to come forward, we promise to be nice. Actually, we’re trying to ‘keep it real’ these days, so we’ll probalby just be honest and suggest you try your hand imposing one of OUR faces over Kristen’s in one of Rob/KStew’s sexy photoshoots.  Now THAT wouldn’t be embarrassing at all.

Creativity is Love – Twi-alentine’s Day Contest!

Dearest LTT/LTR reader-

Ed’s eyes are gold
Emmett is strong
Write a cute poem
and win Kristen’s bong

Ok, so yours is going to be much much better than mine, but you get the idea! We’re hosting a Twi-alentine’s Day contest! And in the spirit of Bella we want to see your best HOMEMADE Valentine poems and cards! So there are two ways enter this…

01. Poem – just like the one I wrote above, write us your best “Roses are red…” Twilight related poem. The catagories for poems include:

– all Twilight series characters (Edward, Bella, Eric Yorkie, whoever)
– Rob (we do run LTR after all)
– Misc. (Stephenie, Forks, fangirls, whatever your heart desires)

02. Cards – design a Twi-alentine Day’s card. It can be digital, photoshop, scrap, stamped, whatever you want. Upload a copy of it and send us a link to your creation. Catagories for card designs include:

– all Twilight characters (bella to edward, you to jacob, whatever)
– Rob (duh)
– Misc. (skies the limit, anything Twilight related)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Get creative
and this could be you…

Feel the love!

The deets: you have till Thursday, February 12th at 6PST to email us (make sure the subject line is “Twi-alentine’s Contest!) your very best Twi-alentine’s! UnintendedChoice and I will then burn the midnight oil deliberating (or mud wrestling) over who will win in each catagory. And guess what! This time we’re going to have ACTUAL prizes… REAL not fake orgies! UC and I will be figuring those out in the next few days and announce them here but they’ll be GOOD, trust! And to that end, if you’ve got Twilight related stuff you wanna donate to the cause, we’re looking for additional prizes. We will sing your praises and pimp any sites you have if you donate. email us!

Now time to get creative!

❤
Moon and UC