The Dirt – New Moon Merch, Stoli Shirts and Color Me Badd, Oh MY!

Dear LTT-ers,

So much has happened over the weekend and last week that we couldn’t possibly write letters about everything but we wanted to hand pick the news that we thought you needed to see!

Hold on to your Pattinsons pants cause away we gooooo!
Themoonisdown

I adore mi amore and bad dye jobs

I adore mi amore and bad dye jobs

  • New Twilight bookmarks available for preorder. Perfect for in between the pages of your copy of The Purpose Driven Life or for when you print out Fanfic and put it in a 3 ring binder so you can read it at work.
  • Remember last week when I wrote Nikki asking where in the world had she gone? Well obviously she reads LTT because she turned up in Greece over the weekend with a member of Color Me Badd
  • Fresh off his shift at the Home Depot and a hot oil treatment, Solomon Trimble still working any Twilight connection he has and makes an appearance at Quileute Days. Is Solomon even Quileute?
  • Seriously, is this what it's come to?

    Seriously, is this what it's come to?

    Rob’s blessed Stoli vodka shirt came out of hiding this week. Some folks at Why Not RPattz and Robsessed did some insanely minute investigation work tracing the rips, stains and lifespan of the shirt. Now just think if we had this kind of attention to detail on finding Osama Bin Laden or curing life threatening diseases. Dayum.

  • Cute Dude with hot  accent will be in Eclipse and his name is NOT Robert Pattinson… welcome to Victoria’s newborn boytoy Riley. Listen to him talk about being cast…
  • If UC and I were creepy guido papparazzo’s with man voices I’m pretty sure this is what we’d say…


“… only two minutes Rob, only two minutes brother…” Apparently Rob is not only the face and cure for vaginal dryness but also the spokesperson for erectile dysfunction. Poor guy.

  • Once again Taylor comes off as the most mature 17yr old I’ve ever heard, listen to him discuss NM and other junk in one of the best videos to come out in a while… also enjoy the music!
She's got legs, she knows how to use them!

She's got legs, she knows how to use them!

  • Some shiz is going on after Comic Con but I know where I’ll be at: an as yet determined watering hole drowning our scream frazzled nerves with Rob and the LTT/LTR gals! Won’t you join us?

So who ordered their set of bookmarks?

Read about all the things that make UC think of Rob at Letters to Rob
Wanna be up on all the news as it happens? Are you following us on Twitter? Are you a member of the forum?

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Rob and Twilight!

Dear Twi-Hards and LTT-ers –

A lot’s been said since yesterday about “Cab-gate 09”… which is what I’m now refering to the Rob was tapped by a cab incident that turned into the biggest non newstory, newstory to rock the Twi-world in… well… days. In a matter of minutes rumors were swirling, petitions were being signing, kidneys being donated and Obama issuing a statement. Well maybe it didn’t go that far, but folks did start up various campaigns and trending topics to get the word out about everything from: “Respect Rob’s Space” to “Protect Rob” which is all fine and well because crazies need to keep their distance from Rob.

But what really got me thinking was what about the other folks in the Twi-dom? What about the other actors? Their family? Their friends? Can we ask people to respect Rob but leave them out? Must we be forced to worry that Solomon Trimble will get mobbed at an Oregon Walmart while he’s buying some Alberto VO5 hot oil treatments for his luscious locks?!

NO! I simply will not stand for it! I MUST know that ALL people associated with Twilight are also respected. So to jump on the bandwagon I’ve created our very own LTT “Respect” campaign with an LTT twist, of course!

Won’t you join us?

Themoonisdown

respectcabbie
It’s easy to worry about Rob since he’s such a big celeb, but what about the “little people” in this scenario? What about the Cabbie? I say we need to respect the cabbie! Stop stepping out into the street with your big feet, umbrellas and security detail. This guy’s just trying to do his job ferrying people around the city and we’re getting in his way by hitting HIS cab with our hips. Respect the cabbie!

respectbuttcrack
Though Buttcrack Santa isn’t a canon character from the Twilight series, HE DIED! Respect him! He died for our laughs. He died for those little bottles. He died to have momma say didn’t know how to make a kitty meow! RESPECT BUTTCRACK SANTA!

respectbananager
What about Marty the Bananager for 100 Monkeys? We give him cheesy shirts to wear, don’t include him on our 100 Monkeys canvas totes, and grind with him on the dance floor. He’s a person too! Give Marty his personal space and save your sexy moves for his bandmates. They signed up for this, Marty is just doing his job and can’t be distracted by our beauty. Respect The Bananager!

respectbigdaddy
Taylor’s a level-headed 17 year old who seems to be enjoying the attention he’s getting by playing Jacob. My real concerns lie with Big Daddy Lautner. How’s he taking the fame? Is he still able to hit the McDee’s drive through at midnight for a late night Filet o Fish without getting mobbed? Respect Big Daddy!

respectmike
We all spend a lot of time pining for Rob and swooning over Kellan’s wifebeaters but what about the supporting actors? Have we devoted as much time to Mike Newton? Will we ever love his “golden retriever” like qualities enough to finally open letterstomikenewton.com? Will we ever post about his quest to save ladies boobs? Respect Mike Welch!

Read about the best real life Rob stalker and see the Rob’s new security at LTR
RESPECT The Forum!

The Dirt – News Dump all things Twilight, Rob, Kristen, New Moon, and everyone else

They won't see me here, under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh, under this umbrella!

They won't see me here, under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh, under this umbrella!

Dear LTT-ers,

You know how sometimes there just too much to cover and not enough hours in the day?

Yea, that’s this week.

With filming of New Moon wrapped there’s been so much news and craziness off the set I thought we should bring you a new edition of The Dirt – the News Dump… where we handpick all the best news just for you!

Did we miss anything awesome?

Love your guts-
Themoonisdown

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  • Finally a dude who doesn’t have his head up his arse, hits on Ashley Greene. Then they ride the waves and uh surf
  • Have you been living under a rock? Peter Facinelli made an almost impossible bet with a friend regarding Twitter. Follow him
  • Gil Birmingham jumps on the Twitter bet bandwagon. For the love of God follow him so we don’t have to see him in a Speedo
  • Yup, still there
  • Tess got bored effing around with Max and Liz, took a wrong turn at the Crashdown Cafe and ended up on the Remember Me set
  • As if you needed an excuse to watch more stuff about New Moon:

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Taylor Lautner at a hockey game in 4 takes…

Dear Taylor-

I had a great weekend, saw some friends, went to some house parties, got a fathers day gift (don’t forget Big Daddy Lautner this Sunday!) and wondered what you were up to now that New Moon wrapped principle photography… and lucky me Just Jared found you at a Detroit Red Wings hockey game! I totally forgot you were from the North because who else watches hockey around here? You and Big Daddy Lautner (my other name for Poppa Filet o Fish) did not disappoint with your AMAZING facial expressions during that game that were all caught on film for folks like UC and I to enjoy… and enjoy them we did!

taylorhockey01
Taylor: OH DUDE DAD!! That cougar behind me just grabbed my balls in the hall and I liked it!!
Big Daddy: Isn’t that a Katy Perry song?
Taylor: Um Yea, something like that, I don’t know Dad but she pushed me into the guys bathroom and told me she’d “make me a man” for Rob’s phone number, can you believe it?! I was like get in line sister!
Big Daddy: Hmmmph… kids these days… freakin 6 pack abs and mystic tans are wasted on the youth… I wonder if they have a McDee’s in this arena. Taylor go get me a McFlurry!

taylorhockey03
Taylor: Daaaadd… I just remembered Selena broke up with me. I’m really sad… do you have a kleenex?
Big Daddy: Uh, I got this leftover napkin from Wendy’s, will that do?
Taylor: sniff… sniff… yeaaaa but who will I walk in the rain with now? What about the umbrella I bought? Who will I give chaste sweet hugs to on the sidewalk in front of the papparazzi?
Big Daddy: Consider it a blessing she dumped you now Son. She’s a Disney girl, it would have taken 2 years to get to first base and then it would have ended in sorrow after the inevitable dirty webcam pics surfaced. Do you want some cotton candy?

Follow the cut to see if Big Daddy tackles a Dippin Dots vender…
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Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We're actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

Were doing each other behind this door!

We're doing each other behind this door!

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
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Ashley Greene, Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning praying in the name of Rob in Italy

Dear Ashley, Kristen and Dakota-

I see that Kellan finally wore you down and you had a meeting of the girls accountability group of New Moon and decided to induct Dakota Fanning into the fold… how sweet of you gals!

Say Facebook! No say Rob DO ME!

Say 'Facebook!' No say 'Rob DO ME!'

First, Ashley decided to document the occasion because of course my BFF is like me and will inevitably scrapbook the moment for posterity to remember the day Dakota joined the league of girls “Praying and Fasting for a better New Moon.” The movement originally started by our dear Lula and continues till November 20 when we will find out if our prayers have been answered. Obviously you girls know how important this is so you started off the meeting with a round of prayer…

girlsprayingnewmoon

Kristen Stewart was just at a Women of the Word conference (obviously) and decided to begin after feeling the leading of the Holy Spirit and it went a little something like this…

KStew: Dear God we come to you today in front of the paparazzi and the crazy psycho set stalkers to say we are so thankful to be sweating our boobs off  filming here in Italy and want to welcome our newest sister in the Lord the Meyer, Dakota Fanning. Let her light shine to all she comes in contact with, though not Rob because he should only be seeing MY light, but anyway we ask for a hedge of protection around Dakota from all the whacky Pattinson pants girls and scary Twimoms, keep her safe and away from their Chico’s daywear grasp…

Dakota: Dear God, thank you for these special girls and may we all become closer than fake lesbians now that NReed is out of the picture… oh and an extra special blessing for my agent and manager for making a teen girls dream come true by taking me away from Oscar potential scripts and getting me this two-bit part and bringing me this much closer to Robert Pattin-

*interrupting* KStew: Uh that’s enough Dakota, don’t want to wear you out the first time, ASHLEY your turn, NOW!

Ashley: Huh? uh.. OH! I’m up… Dear God, after this whole accountability thingy is over please please please let us find an open Sephora store here in Montepulciano because all of us are out of concealer! Seriously, look at us, we’re out in public praying on a rooftop looking haggard, we NEED some MAC ‘studio stick’ coverage stat. Oh and please impress upon Jackson’s heart that he should ‘kiss groupies goodbye’ and shack up with me instead. Uh and thanks for Dakota, her presence helps give this little dog and pony show we call New Moon some much needed credibility.

And we all said AAAAAAMEN!

Then the always classy Kristen gave the watching paparazzi a little one finger blessing…

Jesus loves you too!!

Jesus loves you too!!

Spoken like a true prophetess! Don’t miss KStew on BET’s Sunday Best and next year on tour with Juanita Bynum bringing the word like only SHE can!

Your sister in the Meyer,
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t forget to check out our daily letters to Rob and see UC get him drunk!
Oh and chat about it all over at the forum!

Taylor Lautner and Selena Gomez come out. Officially.

And they called it puuupppyyyy looooveeee

And they called it puuupppyyyy looooveeee

Dear Taylor-

Looks like someone had the DTR* talk recently!! I can’t say how excited I am for you two… you’re so cute I just want to squeeze you like a couple of cabbage patch kids!

As a girl with an ass ton of guy friends I can say with some authority that I believe a DTR talk has occurred because unless you two are underage drunk in broad daylight on the sidewalk in front of the paps, no one goes for the under the boob side grab. Not even good friends.

Have your fun and kick out the jams with Selena now because puppy love is fleeting but Wolfgirl love is forever.

Your older wiser faux sister something
Themoonisdown

*for the uninitiated or those no longer in High School, DTR= “define the relationship”

Picture Source: Lainey Gossip