Open Weekend Post: Hosted by the Eclipse Cardboard Stand Ups

Dear Eclipse Merchandise/Marketing folks,

WTF happened here? Was someone asleep at the wheel? Let’s take a closer look?

First off the expression on his face. It’s a mix between “the one who smelt it, dealt it” and “eh, fuck it, let er rip.” Put that face in the NSYNC circa Pop Odyssey denim jacket with converse from the Target collection and you’re got a recipe from my dreams. Also pretty sure those are his personal black jeans. He doesn’t let anything but the best thrift store denim tough those thighs.

Next up…

Poor pooooor Jacob/Taylor. This is just an all around bad look. The poofy hair, the moobs (man boobs) showcased by a shirt that makes you look like you just ate the WHOLE Chipotle burrito during your lunch break and you’re really regretting it now. Worn with the haphazardly tied LUGGS and this cardboard cut out screams construction worker with his heart on his (non-existent) sleeve.

Who left the wind machine on between the America’s Next Top Model shoot and the Eclipse Promo photo shoot? And the poor girl was told “do the KISS ME” eye brow raise and ended up the recipient of some crazy photoshop shenanigans as her left eye is like 2 inches lower than the right. WTF happened there?

So if waking up in your darkened bedroom only to be greeted by a teenage construction worker who loves Carne Asada, America’s Next Top Model reject and the Fart-meister than these cardboard cut outs are for you. 33 bucks and the dream can be yours!

Happy Freakin’ Weekend!
Themoonisdown

Who’s buying one of these? I think the LTT/LTR headquarters needs the entire set so we can put them in compromising positions and feed the Jacob one tacos when we have writers block. Who’s with us?

Thanks Twifans for the tweet to tip me off!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Eclipse – The Choice is pretty simple… maybe

Vanilla or Chocolate, PC vs Mac - It all begins with a choice!

Dear Eclipse Poster Designer and Marketers,

I have to commend on the new Eclipse poster… the darker colors, the NSYNC circa ’01 denim jacket (read this if you love NSYNC), Edward’s creepy dead-eye stare, Bella’s cocked eyebrow (kiss me!), and then I looked down and saw your tag line:

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

And I thought WTF? A choice? She will never choose Jacob, we know that, otherwise Bella would have told Edward to go ef himself when he came back to Forks and would have made out with Jacob in that little garage, instead of drinking warm soda while she fixated on his rippling muscles. So THAT can’t be the choice, it’s gotta be something else, right? But what? So I came up with a list of the only plausible things she could be choosing from…

“It All Begins… With a Choice”

• V-Neck vs Crew Neck – A peek of Edwards chest hair vs highlighting Jacob’s man boobs?

• Pancake makeup vs Bronzer – Deathly pallor of the undead or the deep tan of spending summers at the La Push beach

• Harry’s Famous Fish Fry vs Spaghetti – What will Bella make for Charlie’s dinner? Some of that famous fish fry and be forced to listen to another story about “the big one that got away” or the same dinner she always makes Charlie: Spaghetti.

• To let Alice pick your clothes or wear the khaki skirt/blue shirt again – Does anyone want to chance the wrath of the fashion obsessed Alice? And really what is so great about the darn blue shirt paired with the floor length Amish skirt? Why Bella resists, I’ll never know.

what about these…

• Paper vs Plastic – Neither you earth haters, get your reusable bag on, people!

Ain't no lie baby, Bye Bye Bye!

• NSYNC vs Backstreet Boys – If you say anything besides NSYNC I don’t know you

• Jonas Brothers vs Hanson Brothers – Which brothers do it for you? Short, brunette- Jew-fro-d-Christian-purity-ring-wearing-brothers or blond-girly-haired-Christian brothers-from-Oklahoma?

• Dwight Schrute vs Andy Bernard – How could Angela choose between the Assistant to the Region Manager of Dunder Mifflin or the man who sings “Take a chance on me” barbershop style on speakerphone?

Follow the cut to see what other choices they could possibly mean

Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World!

Dear LTT-er’s

On the heels of last weeks super successful Hardball:  Is Kristen Stewart pregnant? post, I’ve decided to tackle another subject close to my heart: Living single in a Twilight/Rob kind of world! Yup, free feel to sing that to the tune of the Living Single theme song. I feel like a good portion of our audience are mature adult women in relationships and I wanted to give a platform to the other side of the equation. What is is like to be a single adult lady and like a YA novel about Vampires? How has obsessing over Rob and other Twi stars affected their relationships and pursuit of life and boys? And most of all how in the crap will we meet Rob and have him fall madly in love with us? Cause after all that’s a possibility when you’re single!

So again I’ve gathered a panel of the brightest, smartest raddest ladies from the LTT/LTR family to participate in a Sex and the City style round table discussion (aka chat). Just imagine us in the coffee shop with our most awesomest shoes (you’ll see those, don’t worry!) sipping cocktails and dishing the dirt on everything from boys to friends to Twitter to Jonathan Brandis. Yup, we hit it all.

Welcome to Part One (yes we had to break it up there was so much good stuff!) of Living Single in a Twilight Kind of World *cue music*

Heels and a High Life that's the way Moon rolls

Moon: So ladies, just so you can introduce yourselves and let all those good viewers out there know who you are, I’ll start this how i start all my creepy online chats… A/S/L?
Moon: 26/female/los angeles… oh and send us tweetpics of your fabulous shoes while we chat…
Brooke: 29-F-Philly
chelsea: 24/F/Orange County
Calli: 25/f/Philly
janetrigs: 55/M/texas
aramisette: 28/F/Boston
janetrigs: Okay nooo
Brooke: oh Janet
janetrigs: 31/F/DC
freya: 34/Albuquerque
Brooke: Freya, you a man? didn’t want to tell us?
Moon: pre op?
janetrigs: She must totally be a man
freya: Sorry, 24/ALL WOMAN/Albuquerque
Moon: trannies living in a rob world!
freya: Dang–I just took my age down by ten years!
janetrigs: Trannies in Rob world seems NORMAL
chelsea: Pre or Post-op?

Freya likes booty with her heels

Single and Ready to Mingle?
Calli: i’m drinking disarono on the rocks
Brooke: That’s normal!
Moon: so are we all single or in some sort of relationship?
Calli: and i’ve got rootbeer vodka on the backburner
Moon: calli is classy. i want to be calli when i grow up
janetrigs: Rootbeer vodka!!
freya: Single.
Calli: single
aramisette: single
Brooke: Single
janetrigs: single, of course
chelsea: I prfer Unencumbered to single..
freya: “Unencumbered”–LOL
Moon: foot loose and fancy free!
aramisette: unencumbered is better. shows u don’t need a man
janetrigs: Well I’s divorced
janetrigs: Is that diff from single, I like to think NOOOO
Brooke: Janey has a wusband
Calli: i’m going to go with “suffering from limited options”
aramisette: u choose to be this way
janetrigs: Wasbands suck just so you know. But no kids thank the lord
Moon: couldnt match up to rob?
janetrigs: No one can Moon
janetrigs: No one is ever gonna match up to rob, that’s why I go for the drunk ones, closest to him I think
Moon: HAHAHA amen we’re getting there

Follow the cut to learn more about cover stories, batteries and which Rob is our favorite