Is Twilight a Chick Flick?

Dearr LTT-ers, Frequently we open the mail bag to bring you letters from our readers. Today’s letter is from K who argues that Twilight is a chick flick and should NOT be watched by watched or the books read by guys. Read her letter and tell us what you think. XO-Moon

dvdcover

For ladies only?

Dear UC and Moon,

Due to a recent development in my love life (thank goodness, right? I was getting a little bored with a lack of one) I think I’ve come to a realization, and that is this:  I don’t want to date a unicorn.  😮  *gasp!*  I know, right?!

We adore our beloved unicorns.  We encourage them.  We create them (to the best of our abilities).  So why on earth wouldn’t I want my new interest to become one?
Lets face it:  Twilight is a chick flick.  Movie and books both.  There’s absolutely no arguing against that.  I don’t care how many wired stunts, mirror crashing action, and buttcrack santa jokes you throw in there; it’s still one of the biggest chick flicks ever.  I’ve heard so many people try and argue this point and fight against, but truth is truth.  So without further adieu, I give you my stance.
You know it’s a chick flick when:
  • it’s a love story
  • the fan base is undeniably, predominantly female and has a “tween” rep
  • you here shrieks of glee when the title flashes across the screen
  • the lead male is frequently referred to as “beautiful” on and off screen
  • it inspires products like lip gloss and shimmer powder
  • the lead male sparkles
  • the lead female is fully clothed for over 95% of the movie.
  • there’s a prom scene and no one dies (so close bella)
  • the subjects discussed between characters include dresses, boobs, characters’ relationship status’, and the swim team’s peens.
  • the dialogue includes words and terms like “irrevocably”, “matriculate”, “masochistic”, “Debussy”, and “spidermonkey”.
  • there’s more silent, awkward turtle, moments then there is action
  • the only weapons are mind powers which do not translate visually.
  • fans constantly fight over who’s the dreamiest
  • it takes place in a forest setting and there’s no sign of elves, dwarves, or an extra-terrestrial fought by a commando who states “If it bleeds, you can kill it.”
And lets face it, as far as chick flicks go, this one is unconditionally and irrevocably one of the chick-iest of them all.  Which brings me back to why I would never date a unicorn.  Girls always talk about how they want a sensitive guy, who’s not afraid to show his emotions, or cry.  Fine, good, be sweet and adorable and cry when your puppy gets hit by a car, but for the love of all that is good and right in this world, do not run out of the room in horror when a spider is spotted and do NOT like Twilight.
Dear all future boyfriends….

 

Follow the cut to see what boyfriends should NOT do!
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Chris Weitz “Gets It” with New Moon

Weird ass illustration of Chris Weitz doing "tune in Tokyo" on the Hollywood Reporter

Weird ass illustration of Chris Weitz doing "tune in Tokyo" on the Hollywood Reporter

Dear Chris Weitz,

I’ve always thought you were a great choice to direct New Moon ever since you wrote a letter to the fans back in December and promised that you would remain true to the spirit of the book. I’ve loved you since we saw the very first mini trailer on the MTV Movie Awards and we all screamed with delight seeing Jacob phase for the first time. And you wormed your way into my heart at the New Moon Comic Con panel in July when you spoke candidly about how making this film restored your love of movie making. But today you cemented your place in my cold, dead heart after I read your interview with the Hollywood Reporter by speaking so eloquently and intelligently about the making of New Moon, it’s story line, your relationship with Stephenie Meyer and really just “getting” the storyline and how it’s different from Twilight.

When asked about your relationship with Stephenie Meyer you said “We got along like a house on fire.” Now you’re speaking my language! I love a good idiom and anything involving information about our goddess divine the lovely Stephenie. I loved reading that you collaborated on ideas and deferred to her when you weren’t sure how a visual should play out on screen. It shows your humility and desire to bring the fans and the author herself the best and most true to form version of Stephenie’s story.

Read more after the cut
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Losing our Twilight (movie) virginity

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Dear Twilight,

There’s nothing like your first time. The nerves, the jitters, the excitement, that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. And then it’s over and suddenly you know what everyone has been talking about. You are no longer a virgin. A Twilight Movie virgin, that is! What did you think I was talking about?

We’ve talked about our first everything’s on here… first time reading the books, first time seeing the NM trailer, first time seeing each other in years, there’s a first time for everything BUT we’ve never talked about the first time we saw the movie in the theater. And it just so happens the other day UC and I were having a conversation about just this subject and here’s what we had to say…

UC: In August after I finished the books I found out it was going to be made into a movie and i was PISSED that it was being made into a movie b/c i knew it would suck. I saw ‘that girl from that movie with adam brody’ and then Cedric as Edward and was like “what the?” i will NOT watch this.” but duh.. time went on
Moon: Hmmm Adam Brody… how about when you went and saw it?
UC: I found 4 random people to see the movie with and then had drinks at pf changs after and stayed quiet while they talked about how Edward was NOT cute enough and how cheesy it was and i just had this FEELING
Moon: (like the black eyed peas?)
UC: (yup, like that)

Follow the cut to read the rest of our first time
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Monday Funnies, riffing on Twilight

Dear Twilight Movie,

You are so ridiculous sometimes you make the jokes too easy. Even for old dudes who know nothing about Twilight. So when I found this videos I knew we had to share them for Monday Funnies. This is some old dude sings his interpretation of Bella’s Lullaby, written by Edward. It may be back to work time but you don’t have to frown… just hum this whenever you boss asks you to stay late this week


“I want to chomp into you throaaaat… and watch you bleed out on the floor” Yup, I have definitely had that exact sentiment about several past bosses. Now all together!


And now the old guys say all the stuff we’ve been saying for months about the movie, only they voice it over the movie and it’s way more guy-ish. Highlights?
“That looks from the guy-you-alert-the-flight-attendent-about collection”
“Can’t socialize, obsessed with crappy book series!”

Seriously Twilight, the movie you make it too easy sometimes! I really can’t wait (no really?) for November, not only to see New Moon but because we’ll have some new material! Thank God!!

“Sit down have some plaid!”
Themoonisdown

So did you sing this to your boss this morning while through darts in your boss dartboard?

Seriously you CANNOT miss Letters to Rob today. UC’s hubby has a treat for all of us!!
Riff on Twilight in the forum
You have till Wednesday to enter the Imma Contest! Have you entered yet?

New Moon Trailer – Breaking it Down! And ordering a Sleep Number Bed

Dear LTT-ers,

You know one of our favorite things to do is ramble on about Twilight and Rob and have extended chats about everything in the twi-world which we dubbed “Breaking it down Vanity Fair style” in homage to our very first chat of this nature that spurred the creation of this blog. SOOOO when the new trailer came out Sunday night and after many folks requested we break it down, here we are BREAKIN’ IT DOWN for you! And as usual it devolves into a chat about something completely different but yet oddly related to Twilight. So since this is a loooong one… grab a cocktail (or a diet coke) and settle in as UC, Calli and I break this shiz down!

UGGGGhhh uuhhh AHHH!!
Themoonisdown


(refresh yo memory… as if you need it)

bellwaitwhat

Wait, Carlisle is HOW old??

The one where Bella second guesses this whole thing…
Moon:
ok burning daylight, lets hit it
Moon: i love that because cathy was so fail and didn’t include some of the volturi legend they have to do all this backtracking… “the volturi?! who’s that?! they have LAWS??” Yea you should have known that from the last book Bella.
UC: wasting chris weitz’ precious time
Calliope: she’s all like HOLD UP BACKUP
UC: and while youre at it.. who is buttcrack santa again? This changes EVERYTHING!
Calliope: wtf didn’t you tell me about this LAST TIME
UC: I wouldn’t’ have fallen in love with you had I known about the Volturi! Carlisle is HOW OLD? Dude? I’m crushing on you’re 300something year old dad?
Moon: I’m not sure I wanna date you now Edward, is that Newton kid still down?
Calliope: I bet Edward says.. “Second thoughts bella?” all assholey on her like “TOLD YOU SO”
Calliope: she’s like … hold up… you’ve been celibate for HOW LONG
Moon: HAHAHA FOR THIS?!
UC: wait.. you eat MOUNTAIN LIONS? Ew
Moon: this changes everything! Trailer fades to black. The end
Calliope: yeah though granted, it makes more sense to discuss the volturi now, for the non-readers (all 10 of them) to have movie flow
UC: good job cathy the cougar
Calliope: but seriously. Bella needed this info LAST movie
UC: right… we really do need to worry about the 10 ppl left in the world who haven’t read
Moon: and dont forget they still have to touch on jaspers special power
UC: and they did NOTHING with the Alice story
Calliope: “wait a second,… jasper controls my emotions?!?! WTF edward… i trusted you!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
UC: So it’s Jasper that’s been making me feel that tingly feeling down there? I thought you were skilled!
Moon: so my first unicorn was all a ruse by you and your emotion altering BROTHER?! What kind of sick family is this?!
Calliope: Oh edward… clearly this is his first relationship. Edward is suck a fail boyfriend… just tells her what he wants her to hear.

Wanna see what else we talked about? Hint: Matlock, Mattresses and Afros… YUP follow the cut
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Our top ten favorite moments in Twilight, the movie

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Twihards, lovers and haters of this site,

Today is another big day in the life of us here at LTT. Yes, you might have guessed it but today marks our TEN MONTH anniversary. Now not to get all high school relationship on you but we think blogging solid for ten months is a big deal. Countless hours, love, conversations, text messages, good ideas, really bad ideas (trust me, there are tons), blood sweat and tears have gone into these ten months so UC and I want to celebrate this week. In honor of our ten month anniversary we are going to be bringing you a new top ten list every day this week to celebrate and look towards the next ten!

So to kick off our top tens I’m gonna start us off with Top Ten Favorite Twilight Movie Moments! All the little things, the good and the sometimes cheesy things that we loved and couldn’t imagine living without. All the moments that we wanted to see make it in, the ones we didn’t know and the ones that made us fall in love with the story all over again… here they are

10. The Cullen’s enter the Cafeteria

The set up for the whole movie: who are those kids and why are they different and most importantly WHO IS THAT BOY? Why yes, it’s only the hottest boy to ever grace the United States public school system, that’s who. And he just happens to be a Vampire. Ok wait, she’ll learn that later… let’s not get ahead of ourselves now!

09. Animal Attack

Oh Carlisle you kill us with the delivery of that line coupled with the totally obvious stare down you give Edward. Yup, it was totally an animal that killed Buttcrack Santa and not some crazy psycho nomadic vampire that’s going to develop some weirdo fascination with Bella and stop at nothing to kill her. Yup, totes an animal.

Wanna find out what else made our top ten list of favorite Twilight Movie Moments? Follow the cut…
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Kristen Stewart in Bella’s new wig!

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Dear Eclipse Wig Dept,

Since Eclipse started filming last week and no one’s seen Kristen Stewart in her new Bella get-up everyone’s been well: wigging out. Heh. Clearly fans have been flipping out since they saw Kstew’s Runaways hair and wondered what the crap you were going to do with it for Eclipse. Wigs? Tracks? A weave? Extensions?! The mind spins with options! Ok, maybe that’s the 2 “big girl” drinks I just had, but spinning none the less.

So maybe we weren’t so kind to your New Moon counterparts a few months ago when we saw poor Jackson in that god awful poodle wig that was designed for Jasper. I still shudder even now when I see it and don’t know if I’ll be able to overcome it when I’m watching the movie, but well, I guess that’s something you have to live with and not me. Just don’t be surprised if I have Vietnam style flashbacks during the premiere anytime Jasper is on screen. But anyhow, what I’m now currently worrying about is what Bella’s wig will look like. I know we all let out a collective gasp and clutched our throats when we saw that KStew up and got crazy and cut herself a mullet for Runaways filming (you guys more than us I’m sure). Cause now you have to deal with that dead raccoon on her head and turn it into beautiful Bella hair. Sucks to be you all. BUUTT since we’re professional bloggers and total Twilight nerds around here, we’re here to help and I’ve got a few suggestions that just might work for The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09…

Since we’re in a recession and Jacob is now a werewolf you won’t need his old wigs, so why not reuse that for Bella’s wig? Almost the same color, just curl it up a little and presto long hair! We’re in a recessional yall and we all know how Summit likes to save a few clams so WIN WIN!
bellajacobwig bellajacobwig02

And since we’re talking about re-using why not try out the old Jasper poodle wig?! What, Bella’s not blond? Who cares, make her squirm a little for cutting it all off.
bellajasperwig

Follow the cut to see some more AWESOME wigs!
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Edward Cullen, Vampire or Insurance Salesman?

Dear Twilight Marketers/advertisers/designers-

Some new movie posters and corresponding photos from the same shoot have recently come out and while I’m excited about the New Moon I couldn’t help but think these pictures don’t really make me think Edward and Bella, vampire and high school girl. They make me think quite different things… just so you know here’s my exact thoughts on the new posters and pics…

edwardcullenrelator

Edward Cullen, certified Realtor. Specializes in family homes and hard-to-sell properties. He’s got an amazing split level Ranch with a pool in Sheboygan priced to move! Who wouldn’t buy a home from this guy?

bellaswan
Bella Swan, high school guidance counselor. Her door’s always open for misfits and newly arrived out-of-towners. Ms. Swan won the Washington Teacher’s Golden Apple award for most empathetic and mostly likely to cry right along with her students.

edwardcullenattorney
Edward Cullen, attorney at Law. Partner at Cullen, Cullen and Meyer, Edward is a ruthless lawyer and a killer in the courtroom. Best known for his tweed jackets and surprise witnesses. Case closed!

bellaswanforever21
Bella Swan,  employee at Forever 21. Enjoys a cheaply made sundress and would LOVE to start a dressing room for you while you continue to shop. Don’t forget all sales are final!

edwardcullen
Edward Cullen news anchor and cohost of Good Morning Sheboygan! Can’t stand his cohost Rosalie Hale but loves to interview eye witnesses and waking up at 3am! Back to you Edward!

bellaswansuicidegirl
Bella Swan, newest Suicide Girl (nsfw)… her Suicide name is Swan Lake, clearly.
Into: slutty tank tops, Heathcliff, vampires, guys on motorcycles
Occupation:  resident piercer at Forks Tattoos and Piercings

So as you can see, people in charge of creating this stuff, I’m not exactly sure the true essence of B ella and Edward is coming across because Edward looks like a middle aged dude into “sports jackets” and Bella is a sad, maybe-slut.

Can’t wait to see the Jacob posters and pictures! What will be be? Altar boy? Bagger at Whole Food? Bring it on!

Which one’s your favorite?

109 Days!
Themoonisdown

PS UC went to see Bobby Long… she talks about it at Letters to Rob!
Discuss it in the forum! Gonna see Bobby Long and Marcus in LA? So am I! Go to the meet up section!
We Tweet! Do you follow us?

Source Twicrack via Edward and Bella

Choices: A fork in the road. Jacob, Edward or Bella?

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

Dear Twilosophy Majors-

This picture from New Moon just came out yesterday. A picture of a scene that I’m very much looking forward to and also dreading at the same time. (I think) It’s the scene after Bella cliff dives and Jacob’s taking her back home after they get the news about Harry Clearwater. They’re sitting in the truck and Bella starts contemplating the ‘What If’s” of her and Jacob and then of course Alice shows up. The whole scene just kills me because she’s right on the verge, she’s at the fork in her road of making this decision to finally move on from Edward and choose to be happy again with Jacob. And no matter which way she goes, the thought of her choosing either makes me angry. Because I can see the Jacob side of the argument and well hello, the other side is Edward and really truth be told I don’t really think she deserves either of them.

So the whole thing got me thinking… what if she didn’t choose either of them? What if she decided to choose HERSELF?

And maybe this is the fierce, adult, independent, college graduate, living on her own in me talking but I think Bella needs to find herself before she can ever really love either one of them they way they need to be loved and they way she needs to love. And that’s pretty evident by her shenanigans in the following book, Eclipse. Bella is an eighteen year old girl! I don’t know about anyone else out there but I am about a 180 from who I was mentally, emotionally and experience wise when I was 18. This is not meant as a diss to anyone younger but just from my own experience and I was a mature 18 too. I truly don’t believe Bella is at a place to even make these decisions. She’s semi fresh off a break up with her first true love, she meets a good guy friend, she regularly contemplates dangerous activities and one can argue suicide from the cliff diving incident alone and then an hour later she’s trying to decide if she should commit to another serious relationship with a boy?

HOLD UP, wait a minute! Bella, please stop running from boy to boy looking for what’s missing, when what’s missing is something that is only fixable by YOU, inside YOU! Bella needs to choose to be alright. She needs to choose to not let her entire being be defined by her relationships with the opposite sex.

I know that’s not easy an easy road to go down at any age much less at 17 but it’s an important journey that I think would have made the character of Bella infinitely more interesting and relatable. And not to mention a healthy role model for young girls.

So let’s open this up to the class…

Am I some crazy Destiny’s Child Independent Woman up in here or am I right in the assumption that Bella needs to take a step back and figure out herself?

Can you truly know yourself at 18? Or 21? Or even 50 for that matter?

Can you be in a “healthy” relationship if you’re not healthy yourself? If you’re not confident in who you are apart of your partner?

And discuss…
Themoonisdown

Read more Twilosophy!
Celebrate National Cougar Day with Rob and UC at Letters to Rob
Break it down more over at The Forum!

Picture from LA Times

Quoting Twilight

Dear Twi-lovers,

Do you find yourself quoting Twilight occasionally or like me thinking it in my head and wishing someone was around who would “get” why me saying I needed a “human moment” was insanely funny? Yea, I think Twilight, both the book and movie, have some amazing quotes within them. Stephenie Meyer wrote some funny lines and some not so much while others extremely poignant. Watch this beautiful video by the always awesome PetiteBiel maker of that fantasmic Rob video we posted just a bit ago…

We’ve talked about it a lot but some of my favorite quotes from Twilight (book and movie) are:

“You’re worth it” – Jasper

“Animal Attack!” – Carlisle (in the movie)

“The kids loved those little bottles” – Buttcrack Santa (the movie)

“Do I dazzle you?” – Edward

So what’s your favorite quote from Twilight (just Twilight not the saga), book or movie?
Themoonisdown

Don’t miss out on a RobStu Bromance fest over at LTR
Wanna see more videos? Wanna talk more about Twilight, cause you can never get enough? Head over to the Forum