Letters to Twilight in 10 words or less

Dear LTT-ers,

Just the other day I was talking to UC about how I wished I could just post two word letters or even three (go for the gold Moon!) because sometimes less is more especially when you see shiz like this:

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Rob and Kristen spotted shopping in VINTAGE store

Dear Rob and Kristen,

Be less predictable.

Love your pal,
moon

So I decided to summarize the following Twi-news, pictures and what have you in 10 words of less… can I do it and still be semi funny? Will you love me when I fail miserably?

Let’s see shall we?

Your faithful servant,
Moon

Take the cut to see if I can do it!
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For Kristen Stewart, a guide to keeping men happy

puttin' out the vibes

puttin' out the vibes

Dear Kristen,

On the day we finally declare peace in the Rob fandom by linking arms and uniting in one voice to declare “We are the Rob, We are the Fandom,” you go and stir the shit. Of course you would. Kinda makes me like you a bit too- ain’t nothing like rattling a hornets nest with the news that Micheal Arangano aka Oregano might actually be in Vancouver. Yup, the same Vancouver that you and the rest of the Eclipse cast is in (oh and that dude you’ve been seen with- Rob Whateverson- happens to be there too.) I kind of really want you to be seen one day with Oregano doing that lovely-dovey shiz like you all did in April and then the next day been seen all double O style with Rob because then you would be a Lady Pimp, Man Killer, and I would be forced into maybe, quite possibly, LOVING YOUR FACE. If you were stringing both of these boys along, making them fly to other countries, hide under hoods, buy you dinner, comb out your mullet and then get the H out of bed once you were finished with them, I would give you the biggest high five ever. EVER. Just the thought of it makes me smile and want to yell “Girl Power!” (Spice up your life!).

A look of pure want. Wanting 2 boys that is

A look of pure want. Wanting 2 boys that is

So since we have no real confirmation as to validity of this other than the ALWAYS valid Splash News *ahem* I’m going to speculate that it’s totally true and Oregano really is up there in Vancouver and the reason you didn’t go to the cast dinner last weekend was because it was Oregano’s day and not Rob’s, so like any good Lady Pimp you sent Rob along to the dinner to be watched over by your frenemie Nikki Reed while you, or should I say while Oregano, attended to your “needs.” I’m so kinda proud! Since you are 19, however, I have a feeling you’ve just recently tapped into your Lady Pimp Man Killer essence so you’re new at this and might be in need of a few tips from some seasoned sluts professionals. So out of the goodness of my heart, and as a sign of goodwill and Rob-peace, I’ve put together a little guide for you with the help of some pals:

Follow the cut to see the rules!
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Twilosophy of the fandom – REAL Twilight fan?

REAL fan?!

REAL fan?!

Dear LTTers/Twilosophy Majors,

For quite some time now we’ve been reading emails, viewing other sites posts, receiving comments, and talking between us about what it is to be a “REAL fan.” We’ve been told by countless people that because of what we post we are not “Real fans”  and we’ve read on many other fansites and blogs and been on email chains toting the tenants of a “REAL fan” And apparently we (and many of you) are not “Real fans” because  being a ‘REAL fan” means something quite different to us than them. To certain folks, being a fan, means always agreeing with the powers that be, always saying something nice or non-divisive, loving everything about the saga or movies, opposing any sort of speculation or the posting of any possible rumors and god forbid: posting a picture taken by a paparazzo! The horror! But we beg to differ (of course!) because we definitely do all the above so-called no-no’s but we also love this saga like McAdams loved Gosling (RIP). And who’s to decide the level of someone else’s fandom? Can we really base our love for something on these outward displays of devotion?

  • does kissing butt and blindly accepting everything make you a “real fan”
  • does bringing up objections and differing opinions make you any less of a fan?
  • Does it make us less of a fan of the actors or books by posting a paparazzi picture?
  • When we write something in jest about an actor or character does that make us mean spirited?

I still read every little dumb post, read every article and buy every magazine (well the ones with the good pics!), own TWO full sets of the saga, own a Pocket Edward, co-write two blogs about Twilight and Rob, talk incessantly about the stories, have recommended the books to countless people and yet I’m not a “REAL fan?”

Because I’m a word nerd I looked up the word “fan” and here’s what we get…

Fan –noun
an enthusiastic devotee, follower, or admirer of a sport, pastime, celebrity, etc.
Origin:
1885–90, Americanism; short for fanatic

Synonyms:
supporter, enthusiast, ardent admirer, booster, addict

Not a fan!

Not a fan!

Ok, so I’m pretty sure we could be called enthusiastic devotees and ardent admirers and most definitely ADDICTS! So what does it all mean? UC and I have sat around dwelling on this topic for months now and we hope that it comes across in the right way. Not as a pat on the back for ourselves but as validation to the other countless fans, YOU GUYS, who are just like us, think it’s alright to do all those things listed above and still be a fan! That’s why we started a blog- not just for the hell of starting a blog- but to be different. To say something interesting about the Saga we love. To BE those true fans who say “I love this so much I’m not afraid to admit that you suck in that moment” To say – no- you did it wrong. Because by doing that makes our happiness and excitement that much more genuine.

You know those friends or boyfriends when you ask “does this make me look fat?” or “What do you think of this dress?” automatically answer “YES?” While it’s nice to hear a compliment, in the end I’m going to trust the person who told me I looked like “a stuffed sausage in spanx” for advice over the “You look like Heidi Klum” person any day, because I know they’re being honest and want the best for me. And I only look like Heidi Klum on weekends after all.

Yes, frequently

Yes, frequently

On the same tip, when someone writes a review in the New York Times- they’re honest (and yes, I’m comparing us to the New York Times, go with it for the sake of the lecture!) They don’t say what they think the publishing house wants them to say. They don’t take the authors feelings into consideration. They are truly honest- and I think it’s important for people to have their own opinions. And equally as important: we need to leave room for other people’s opinions who differ from our own! it’s like “they” say: variety is the spice of life, differences make the world go round, never turn down a free filet-o-fish or whatever it is “they” say.  So that’s what we will do and continue to do. Write honest, while humorous, looks at saga and movies we love so much while being open for differing opinions, LOVING the good and calling out the bad.

a REAL fan,
Themoonisdown

So what say you? Do you feel like there are signs for true fandom? Have you been judged as a fan either way?

Don’t miss out on some Rob goodies at Letters to Rob
Real fans love the forum!

This Cosmic Love – Edward and Bella

Dear Edward and Bella,

Sometimes words can adequately explain why your love story is so great. So words like cosmic seem like the only thing that can come near to explaining something so big, so strong and all encompassing. When Calli sent this video over I knew somehow someone had tapped into just a little once of truth regarding you two. The video features the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence and the Machine and I really can’t think of a better way to state the good, the bad and the lovely about you two. I was so intrigued by the term cosmic that I wanted to see the full extent of the term and here’s what good ol Merriam Webster had to say on the subject:

Cosmic
1 a
: of or relating to the cosmos, the extraterrestrial vastness, or the universe in contrast to the earth alone b : of, relating to, or concerned with abstract spiritual or metaphysical ideas
2 : characterized by greatness especially in extent, intensity, or comprehensiveness

Yea, I think that about sums it up…
Themoonisdown

PS big thanks to the lovely, radical, funny Calli

What words would you use to describe Bella and Edward?

Follow the cut to read the lyrics
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Shh, we’ve got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

Jashley – The Jackson Rathbone and Ashley Greene Movement begins!

Hello there Robsten lovers... we're here to take over!

Hello there Robsten lovers... we're here to take over!

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s no secret that I love me some Jackson and Ashley, in fact I think they feel the love around here a lot and Jackson is definitely a hot topic over  on the forum. Maybe it’s the fact we’re BFF’s, or maybe it’s the fact they play Jasper and Alice, or maybe it’s just cause they’re so darn cute and REAL. But whatever the reason is I’m starting the Jashley movement here at LTT. I know it’s no uncommon desire that folks want to see them together but I’m gonna take it to the next level. I was talking to UC this afternoon while sifting through pictures for something we’re working on and of course we ended up on the Vanity Fair pics where Jackson and Ashley are sittin’ uh… pretty and we got to talking about them and I confided in UC about my deep deep love for them. Not that she didn’t already know but it needs to be said: I feel for Jackson and Ashley how the Robsten folks feel for Rob and Kristen. Only I care way less. Like waaaaay less.

And so she wanted to know what us Jackson/Ashley devotees called them… what was their celeb couple name? Jackash? Why no, it’s actually Jashley… at least that’s what they tell me. And by they I mean I made it up while scouring the interwebs trying to match pictures of shirts that they both wore. Does this hole line up to the hole on her shirt? Nope, damn. NEXT.

Excuse you, this is Jashleyan!

Excuse you, this isn't Jashleyan!

Then I told her I also have pictures of Jackson near a plane with some flight attendants and obviously it’s from when Jackson secretly came to LA for 3 hours to visit Ashley last weekend.  I sent it to all major news outlets and  no one cared. So then I emailed Ted C. telling him I had the scoop on Jashley and he should forget that whole Robsten thing. Sadly, he emailed back and asked: “Who the ef is that?!” Funny thing though, I checked back a day later and he had already started a Jashley catagory on the Awful Truth, complete with videos from LTT! See, the movement is catching!

Here's proof! It's the truth!

Here's proof! It's the truth!

So convinced was I of this coupling I started scouring old Jackson and Ashley interviews till I found this gem, in an interview with the Australian Herald Sun, which is I’m sure Australia’s MOST respected news outlet, Ashley said:

“He and I both don’t have time to date, but we do have amazing chemistry,” she says.

“We both have such big crushes on each other and it clearly shows. We got along instantly and the day we met, he was teaching me how to swing dance.

“He (Rathbone) does everything. He sings, he dances, and he’s so sweet. Even my mum has a crush on him and tells me, ‘You should date him’. So, who knows, maybe when we both stop running around the world.”

And even thought this quote is from back in April, if it helps my case obviously it’s true right? So yes, Jackson and Ashley please stop ‘running around the world’ so you can become Jashley and I can squee with happiness! Or just go on about my life like any other day.

Ok kids, off to start Jashley Lives!
Themoonisdown

Don’t miss ol Robbie Roo and UC’s letter to him!
Check out all the other Jashley/Jackson/Ashley goodies at The Forum!

Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

We're actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

Were doing each other behind this door!

We're doing each other behind this door!

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)
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