Twilosophy: Why is the Leg Hitch in Eclipse SO important?

Dear LTT-ers and Twilosophy Majors,

Yesterday, after UC posted her thoughts on the Eclipse reshoots and how David Slade better get the “leg hitch” right and if that’s the reason for all the secrecy and need to go to Vancouver than she was all for it. Which we are, 100%. I mean we’re so committed to this being right we’re even willing to be the stand in’s or film it ourselves with a camera phone and Robert Pattinson in our wrought iron bed (we share one, duh. All good bloggers do) with gold brocade bedding we purchased at Anna’s Linens for the occasion. But as it turns out not everyone even knows what the crap the leg hitch even is. Witness this resulting conversation of me trying to explain it after yesterday’s post…
c

More like #cop a feel than #leg hitch

The Font: okay, i have pretended to understand this for long enough what the fuck is leg hitch?
Moon: i thought i explained it to you guys during a podcast
Font: no way, i would remember
Moon: ok, so in Eclipse theres this super hot scene that everyone always talks about. edward leaves to go off hunting with the dudes and leaves bella with alice and whoever at his house. well his room doesnt have a bed since vampires dont sleep so she thinks shes going to sleep on the couch or something during this weekend well anyway he gets her this bed (im so embarrassed) at some point in the weekend he comes back and they start getting it on. i will look up the quote but anyway during the making out it says something about “leg hitch.” we’ve been talking about it since last march and well it took off
Font:wait, leg hitch like his junk?
Moon: NOOOO! like grabbing someones leg and pulling it up
Font: I DON’T UNDERSTAND MOON*! what? this is a dry sex metaphor?
Moon: omg Font*
Font: Moon*, i have been reading this site for like six months (editors note: WAY longer. you’ve been making fun of me since at least last summer). i don’t know what the fuck is going on
Moon: OMG SERIOUSLY?!!!!! if you’re making out and/or having sex with someone
Font: i get it!
Moon: and you grab their leg like under the knee
Font: listen this is not my first rodeo
Moon: thank god! please dont make me explain it anymore!
Font: i really feel like this is a let down
Moon: why? cause, sometimes seeing behind the curtain isnt as good as the illusion.
Font:  truth, truth. But it’s such a weird phrase
Moon: I’m looking it up…

“He pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip” -pg 186

Font: that doesn’t even make sense. these books are dumb
Moon: COME ON!

It's so important people feel the need to create fan art about it!

So of course this got me to thinking… why is the leg hitch so important? What about this seemingly small moment in the 3rd installment of the saga has captured the passion of so many people? And what does it say about the characters and us readers?

First off I think we have to understand that this is really one of the first “intense” (for them) make out moments Bella and Edward have. Besides some kissing and hugging the ultimate self cock blocker, Edward keeps it pretty G rated for the kids. So for readers who have been salivating over every little hand hold or emo eye locks in the science room, this is about more than we can handle. Bella and Edward touching… down… there?! ZOMG. But ever the moralist and well, a good story teller, Stephenie Meyer leaves us wanting more cause just when things are heating up Bella opens her dumb fat mouth and Edward remembers his priest-like lifestyle.

Secondly, this make out is the catalyst for a very important conversation between Edward in Bella. After remembering he thinks girls have cooties and pushing Bella away they discuss her not-s0-secret trips to La Push while he was gone. And FINALLY Edward figures out he’s being a monumentally freaky overprotective boyfriend and agrees that Bella should be able to visit Jacob and her friends in La Push. He comes to the realization that he needs to trust her judgment more. Even though she’s a danger magnet and is subconsciously, in some way in love with Jacob, Edward realizes that if Bella feels she’s safe than he needs to trust her.

Bada bing bada BOOM

And finally it’s important for Bella to see that Edward likes her in more than a vampire-I’m-attracted-to-your-blood-only kind of way. He wants her like any normal high school boy wants his girlfriend. Who doesn’t want to feel that way? Even though he shuts her down just when things are getting all mcsteamy up on the brocade bedspread, she already comes to the realization that he likes her on multiple levels.

But really, what isn’t there to GET about the leg hitch? It’s hot. It’s Edward in a bed doing all kinds of things high school girls and 20 somethings girls and 30 something girls and 40 something girls and moms and librarians and the Golden Girls dream about doing with a guy like him.

And THAT, my friends is why the much ballyhooed “leg hitch” is important!

We ain’t talkin’ trailer hitches!
Themoonisdown

So why do you think the leghitch is so important to us? Why is it important to Edward and Bella. What’s the BIG deal??

*We do not actually call each other Font and Moon in real life. Thank god. This is weird enough*

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Shh, we’ve got a secret to share… and it might involve Jacob Black

Who are you people?

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Team Edward members-

I’ve got a secret that I’ve been hiding for a while. It’s not something I tell other people I usually hide it away and tell people what they want to hear cause really who wants to hear this dirty tale? No it’s not an addiction to Rob Porn and no I’m not hitting the sauce or smokin’ the mary jane, and no I haven’t turned into a crazy Pattinson Pants wearing Twihard. Nope it’s an entirely different secret all together.

But I couldn’t handle the secret anymore… I just had to share with someone else and risk ostracizing myself because I couldn’t take it anymore! So I asked UC to sit down and brace herself cause what I was about to reveal was quite heavy. And what ensued reads like two addicts discussing their secret tendencies for the bad stuff…

Moon: i picked up NM again
Moon: bella said “holy crow” in the part i read last night
Moon: im having team jacob tendencies but i think its cause i havent read about edward in forever
UC: i’ll be honest… i’m loving him these days too
UC: i dunno why
Moon: seriously, I’m so glad you said that!! I felt like an outcast!
UC: i dunno why… but we are

Forget cliff diving! Let's go skinny dipping!

OK OK OK!!! Yes, I’m secretly loving Jacob and I can’t stop. Don’t look at me that way, I can see your disappointed eyes through this letter! So why is that? Why do we feel like we’ve betrayed Edward? And why is Jacob looking like such a possibility these days? Do we have a classic case of the wandering eye? Have we gotten a little too comfortable in our love for Edward that seeing Jacob again shines a new light on the situation? I feel like initially you’re so blinded by how lovely, and beautiful, and hot, and perfect  Edward is that Jacob just comes off like my good buddy from gym class. But now that we’ve been going steady for a while, you start to look around a little and see Jacob again and notice that he’s not only your pal but actually that amazingly hot, nice guy who might be the quarterback of the football team that you overlooked in your initial Edward-lust.

Omg, is it November yet?

And I’m sure seeing Taylor at Comic Con didn’t help, nor did those picture of him with Taylor Swift, or that official picture from the set of him and Kristen in the truck, or reading the part in New Moon where he jumps into her window to tell her he’s trying to “keep his promise” or the part where Bella chooses to let him drive away after she spots Alice. So what’s a girl to do when she’s questioning her team allegiance?

Well… how about question it some more, keeping reading New Moon, count down the days till New Moon is released and OD on some Taylor and wonder if Team Edward will ever forgive me…

We’re not cheating on you Edward, we just want you to know you have some serious competition!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS I just figured out I’m almost 10 years older than Taylor. That’s just wrong and also weird that I never realized that before.

Get over to Letters to Rob to read about what UC think’s Rob is doing right now
Switch to Team Jacob in the Forum and don’t feel bad about it!

Pics from someplace I can’t remember and Lion & Lamb Love

Praying and Fasting: For a better New Moon

Dear intelligent LTT readers who know better than to love a Young Adult novel & its poorly made movie adaptation but love it anyway,

Comic Con is over. We saw the new clip. We’ve seen the new pictures. The official website is up, and so New Moon time is ON.  It’s time we start our “Fasting & Praying for a better New Moon” which is a phrase we borrowed from our friend Lula who is doing a similar concept with her Twi-pals.

You’ve heard us say it countless times- We love Stephenie Meyer & the world she created. We love Robert Pattinson’s portrayal of Edward & (some of us) love Kristen as Bella, but a LOT about Twilight the movie just plain BLEW.  Buttcrack Santa? Thank you Melissa Rosenberg for writing him in because he’s my favorite character to make fun of, but really? Oh gosh, you’ve all read our blog- I don’t need to keep going- you know what we hated about the movie.

I saw Twilight 5 times in the theaters and have watched the DVD 3 times now (once with the commentary- I know! That’s nothing) and each time I watch it the more embarrassed I am that I spent over $50 at the movie theaters (plus all the money I spent on popcorn- b/c I can’t see a movie without out- seriously. Even if I just had popcorn for dinner, I’d still get popcorn in the theater)

We recently got this email from an LTT reader

Dear Melissa Rosenberg,

Twilight was a joke movie. I love Twilight and have seen it 800,000 times because (of Rob) of my love for the books, but to be honest, it’s a really terrible, second-hand embarrassing movie. The first time I watched it, I had not read the books yet, and I walked out. Of course, after I read the books I went back and watched it 3 more times in theaters. I had been contemplating whether New Moon would be just as…lame for lack of better words, or would it actually live up to it’s explosive hype? Of course, it doesn’t matter, it will still make bazillions in the box office, Twihards around the world, including myself, will watch it multiple times in theaters. But with the AMAZING trailer and all the set videos and visit reports, will the movie end up being an actual good movie that humans beyond the Twiworld would be able to enjoy? I have been pondering this question for awhile, and I had high hopes, because of new direction, a bigger budget, and Rob. But then I remembered. Yes, the director has been replaced (love the coug, but my, my was the directing terrible), and the stunts and make up will actually look professional this time around, but I’m sorry, the worst part about the movie was…THE SCRIPT. It was all your fault. Well not all, but you play a big role in why Twilight was unintentionally hilarious. The dialogue was SO incredibly cheesedick. Come on, “How you likin’ da rain grrrrrrrrl?” It’s not ‘hip’ to talk like that anymore. Nor was it ever. “Any cold…wet…thing…” Really? REALLY? You couldn’t come up with something better to respond to how ‘shez likin da rain?’ And why does Edward HAVE to show Bella he’s sparkly after she says it…OUTLOUD (that made Edward sound like a douche btw). Oh dear, MelMel, you really butchered it. See, because of you, not only do Twihards get made fun of for liking the books, but they are REALLY looked down upon for liking the movie. You should be ashamed of yourself. I really, really hope you watched Twilight yourself, realized how much you assraped the script, and wrote a less parody-like screenplay for New Moon. Stop smokin’ da herb grrrrrrl. Thanks.

Love,
me.

MelMel: At fault? Or another victim of Cathy Hardy's wacky ways?

So I have to ask. Was it the script? I think that was a huge contributing factor.  So our first prayer & first object of fasting is for “MelMel,” as the email writer called her, to step it up a notch & lay off the ‘suck’ with the New Moon script.

I think she can do it. I mean, she’s got a pretty impressive resume up on imdb. She wrote for Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman for gosh sakes! I wanted to do Sully before I even knew what ‘doing’ meant. But seriously, she’s written for The OC, which like it or love it, is a brilliantly written show, and she is currently a writer for Dexter. I’ve only seen a few episodes and they’re creepily awesome, but it’s one of Moon’s favorite shows and she agrees that the writing is very creative & well-done.

So she’s obviously experienced, although those 3 shows I mentioned (yes, I wasn’t kidding about Dr. Quinn) are all TV shows, and I understand the process is different for TV versus film. Moon argues that she thinks ‘the cougar” (aka Hardy- Catherine Hardwicke) may have had a lot to do with botching the script & added some of those cheeseball lines we all cringe to hear. Admit it- the first month or two you made excuses for those lame lines like “LA Push it’s… La Push” and “Purple’s cool” saying they were “cute” and ‘just a few high school kids playing around.” But by now, we’re over making excuses- we admit it- those lines sucked big time. Did “MelMel” write them in? Or was it Hardy’s fault?

I don’t know and I doubt we ever will.  All I know is that it’s Monday night at 9:51 pm and I just had myself a cupcake (of course), a glass of wine (fine 4 glasses), half a bag of pirate’s booty, some pasta, shrimp fried rice & an apple because my fast starts tomorrow and I’m not going to eat much from now until November.  And I’m holding my eyes opened in preparation for them being closed in a three and 1/2 month prayer that MelMel figured out a way to best write the script so that Chris Weitz can represent those empty pages with just the names of the months listed when Bella is barely surviving visually and beautifully so that not a single sound is heard in any theater across the globe on November 20 other than the sound of heart-broken, sobbing Unicorns & women.

Only 114 more days until I can eat again,
UnintendedChoice

What do you think? Did Melissa Rosenberg have a lot to do with Twilight’s issues? Are you worried about her involvement with New Moon?

Fun Fact: I drafted this post days ago, and when I went into it last night to do a final edit & schedule for today, I noticed I called the screenwriter: Melissa ROBsenberg

Moon loves Rob. And wrote him something special on LTR
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