2nd hand embarrassment: Eclipse Soundtrack commenters

June 8th here we come, ready or not!

Dear people who commented on the Chop Shop blog yesterday and people with Soundtrack sour grapes,

Are you people serious?

First I’ll start with the commenters on the Chop Shop music blog today. As we know Summit announced the tracklisting for the Eclipse Soundtrack today by rolling out a new artist and song every half hour to hour on MySpace and the Chop Shop blog. Now for those who don’t know, Chop Shop is the music supervision company owned by Alex Patsavas. The music supervisor is essentially the person who along with the director (and team) picks the music to be included in the movie and then clears it legally etc etc. I’ll save you the gory details.

So needless to say some of the comments on the Chop Shop blog today as they updated every hour with new tunes was tres embarrassing! Who goes to the blog of someone who essentially brought the craft of music supervision to the forefront and made shows like The OC, Grey’s Anatomy and Gossip Girl synonymous with great music while breaking MANY unknown bands and you DOG their choices and their (award winning) taste? That’s like Alex and crew showing up at your McDonalds and telling you you’re not flipping burgers right. Have some respect man.  Sure everyone’s entitled to their opinion but not when you like shitty music.

I was hesitant to even write this for fear of coming off like a total snob but I don’t really care especially when it comes to music. I hope you’ll understand and bear with me… let’s take a few comments for example:

Not showing up on a soundtrack near you.....

i am very disappointed that Adam Lambert didn’t make the cut. If you look at all the Eclipse Soundtrack polls ADAM LAMBERT was always a front runner on them. You guys just lost ALOT of sales…. hope your happy. – Katie

Like FOR REALS?!! ADAM LAMBERT?! What part of glam rock American Idol fits into this story line besides the sparkling? And secondly Eclipse Soundtrack polls?! WHAT? WHERE? How old are you?

I was really hoping Candace Charee would be on the Eclipse soundtrack but I understand you got her music too late to be considered. You know, Candace’s music is influenced by Twilight – how many of the artists on this album can say that? Have even read the books? Maybe, Vampire weekend and Muse have read the books. So, for your consideration, Candace Charee. – JoAnn

WHO? And just because it’s sent to Chop Shop and is influenced by Twilight means about… ohh… zero! And if what you think is true I would die to have a conversation with Ezra Koenig about Twilight. Then I would hump his leg. And be like why are we talking about Twilight? You’re Ezra Koenig and you’re HOT! Do me now!

Wait I found this Candace Charee… um there’s a reason she’s not on here.

Trust pays off!

I think It is great! I am happy with the diversity of this soundtrack! I know the fans are really excited by the choices! We cannot wait to hear who is next!!! Thank you for listening to the fans!
hugs
Candace Charee’

Spoiler Alert Candace, you will not be one of them. Ever.

Would LOVE to see some Blue October, Saliva, or Band of Horses on here. 100 Monkeys would be an awesome addition as well. Muse is always a must-have. This is a really fun way to reveal the soundtrack – love it!

SALIVA?! I almost cried from embarrassment when I read that earlier. And 100 Monkeys, I’m sorry folks maybe theyre fun in concert or whatever or even the fact Jackson is in the band, but I just DON’T see that ever happening. I mean tell me a 100 Monkeys song that fits the tone and mood of Twilight, cause I sure don’t know one.

Follow the cut to see me wild out on some more comments

A special Twilight birthday wish, for a special Twilight Girl

Dear Moon,

Happy Birthday! If you remember your birthday at all last year (If I recall you went on a pub crawl, so you may not) we celebrated your birthday on LTT with birthday greetings from the Cullens.

Well, they’re too busy this year impressing men with their ability to fight as opposed to letting us women peek in our their most intimate moments together, which is why we liked their story in the first place (no I didn’t just watch the Oprah Eclipse trailer for the first time & noooo I don’t think they’re pushing hard to capture a male audience. Why would you think that!?) so I thought I’d check in with some our favorite Twilight actors & LTT-characters for birthday wishes for you. Well, let me be clear- I have no interaction with these people… but if I did, I’m SURE this is what they’d say:

Jackson:

Moon for your birthday I promise to shower & look like my picture to the left for at least 24 hours. PLUS, I’ll even put down the guitar and come over and watch all my episodes from The OC with you. Then I’ll act out the baseball scene from Twilight. And show you what else I can do with my bat.

Rob:

I know that every time I’m photographed out and about some where in LA you lament, “UH why was he THERE? He needs ME to show him where to hang out in LA.” Well, for your birthday I’ll let you be my LA travel guide. We can start with brunch at the little cafe down the hill from your house where UC loves to get coffee (you know- the one across from the pot smoker’s coffee shop- if we wanna stop in there later, I know a girl who can score us some weed), and then we’ll hit the thrift shops that the paparazzi don’t know about, followed up by a trip to Amoeba Music to check out their record collection (Slightly obvious, but I figured you would’t HATE it if we happened to get photographed together). Then you can show me some of LA’s best, unknown beaches and after laying out in the sun Tyler & Ally style we’ll go back to your place for a little dance party- since I know you love those- but it’ll just be you and me. How does that sound? And I’d like to see your record collection so if you wanna lead me up to your bedroom and show me where you keep the music… well, then.. I wouldn’t mind lounging on your bed while you educate me with your fine music skills….and if you want to lounge on your bed also… I won’t mind. I’ll even pretend not to notice the Edward Cullen pillowcase starting up at me from the head of the bed… After the records are over I hope you don’t mind if I pick up the guitar in the corner by your closet. I wrote a little something with you in mind… I might mumble it while lounging on your bed, if that’s okay with you. It’s okay if you get emotional. It’s okay if you stare intently at me- I’ll be staring back. If you need me to hold you I’ll do that too, but I promise you… I have bigger plans in mind….I always treat my travel guides with the utmost care & respect. And after all, we both deserve a “happy ending” [Uh, is it getting hot in here? And did I just say that about a Moon/Rob fantasy?)

After the jump, find out if Moon gets her birthday wish- a Fake Lesbian story starring her, Nikki & Kristen!

Taylor Lautner: Friendless?

Dear UC & Moon,

Something has been bothering me lately (not really), I’ve spent countless hours pondering this… I feel that it is vital (pointless) to get a better understanding of Taylor. Now, he’s finally legal, having just celebrated his 18th, what did he do? I know Big Daddy Lautner would splurge on a birthday cake for his big boy, and sure there were hats and balloons but… and this is what bothers me… Were his friends there? Does he HAVE friends???

We have only ever seen him with his ex, Swifty (<3), the Disney chick who’s name I don’t care to remember and Big Daddy of course and countless other nameless faces (probably his management, and ALL ADULTS!) What normal 18 year old doesn’t have a group of friends? Friends his OWN AGE? I mean, Rob has his BritPack, Kstew has her fake lesbians but Tay??? Where’s his crew?

Guys, I need your help here… I need to rest easy knowing Tay has some guy friends and if not… I say we hold a friend audition! I vote no on Justin Bieber and anyone affliated with Disney (especially the JoBros). Any suggestions?

Resting uneasy,
Hepburn

Well Hepburn, what a FABULOUS idea. I’d be lying if I said Moon & I hadn’t had this concern ourselves. We’ve spent many a five minutes hour worrying about Taylor’s apparently lack of friends. Not that we think he’s complaining- with a father like Big Daddy, who needs friends? But for the sake of his fans & all those who are becoming more and more convinced of his homosexuality because of his never-ending slew of of female, Disney star friends/PR ploys, I think we need to get to the bottom of this.

First things first, I did a quick google search to see what Tay-Tay has been up to lately. It looks like he was recently spotted at a Lakers game. He HAD to go with friends, right!? RIGHT!? I snagged these photos from EclipseMovie.org for us to investigate:

Evidence #1

Wait- that’s not a minidress & a bra strap I see- that’s a MAN shoulder. And NOT Big Daddy’s! DO we have some proof!? Does Tay Tay have a FRIEND?

Evidence #2

It looks like Tay-Tay may have changed seats to get a better view of the basketball players the honeys (or else that WAS Big Daddy next to him in the first picture and he ran out for a second to stock up on the $79.95 Lakers-Bakers combo (Nachos with chili & bacon, four hot dogs, 2 64 oz Coca-Colas, caramel popcorn, a bucket of fries topped with chedder & crab and a fried twinkie for dessert. Oh, plus a side salad and a gatorade for Taylor)) Not sure who the new guy on Tay-Tay’s left is. Could it be another possibility for a friend?

Evidence #3

Is he looking at Kobe Bryant? Or the girls? Will we ever know?

Uh oh- this piece of evidence is supicious. No red-blooded 18 year old male would leave Taylor in front of cheerleaders who haven’t eaten in 3 weeks (except for the girl who gobbled up the crab-fry that Big Daddy dropped) ALONE. Is it true? Does Tay-Tay have no friends?

Evidence #4

It's called a what? And THAT's what Rob said he was allergic to?

Our final piece of evidence shows us Taylor, seeing the nether regions of a woman for the first time, next to a male. Is it a fan who wanted to ask what it was like NOT being a bear? Is it his manager (who is apparently gay) telling him horror stories about sex with women? Is it Big Daddy, who miraculously dropped 167 pounds after consuming the Lakers-Bakers Combo? I think we ALL know it’s NOT a friend. No 18 year old male has what looks to be the beginnings of a full beard. Unless he’s a hipster. And no hipster would wear a collared shirt. He’d be in an ironic Fish-O-Filet sponsored “Relay for the Heart 1994” T-shirt.

After seeing these pictures of Taylor out for a night of crab-fries and Kobe Bryant, I have to conclude…… that Taylor has no friends…

Find out what we’re going to do about this piece of news, after the jump!

#FanFail- what is it in the Twidom?

Do I have to photoshop Robsten in order to be a fan?

Dear Twilight,

I realized yesterday that I, quite often, hashtag #fanfail, even when I’m not on Twitter, when talking about myself as a fan in this Twidom. If I forget who a minor character is or accidentally miss Ashley Greene’s dog’s birthday or forget to mention that when the manager of the McDonald’s in Pasadena gave control of the franchise to Big Daddy Lautner for one day, I am hard on myself. I sometimes consider myself a failure as a fan.

I realized that I think this about myself when yesterday morning I received an email from an old friend you might remember, EastFriend from The Quad, who, I can only imagine was INSPIRED BY GOD to say (aka she read Moon’s post from yesterday), “Don’t hate me. I’m a bad fan, but WHO is Boo-Boo Stewart!?” I wrote back, “You’re NOT a bad fan. No one is supposed to remember who he is.” But it spurred on some thoughts in my mind about who IS or ISN’T a bad fan. Can we really quantify that? Is there a fine line between FAN and NON-FAN? There just might be….Here is what I’ve come up with.

Here’s how you know you’re STILL a fan:

• It IS okay if you still aren’t sure what part Boo-Boo Stewart plays and wonder if he’s actually Justin Bieber’s younger brother. You’re still a fan.

• It IS okay if you’re not sure who Justin Bieber is & think he’s probably connected to The Twidom since he’s trending at #1 on Twitter almost every day and what else can be that popular other than something Twi-related? You’re still a fan.

• Even after reading Brookelockart’s rant about Bree in Eclipse, if you still had to pull out your book when you got home to remember who she was, don’t worry- You’re still a fan.

• Even if you haven’t watched New Moon on DVD yet… You’re still a fan.* (see my explanation below)

• It’s okay if you don’t know why Rob Pattinson is in Budapest right now. You’re still a fan.

• It’s EVEN okay if you still like Nikki Reed on occasion and don’t understand why people seem to hate on her. You’re still a fan.

• Guess what? Even if you thought TWILIGHT was better than NEW MOON even though it wasn’t as good but it was still better (follow me?) You’re still a fan.

• If your cousin’s boyfriend’s half sister’s brother told you that one of the Twilight cast members is gay because he experienced it first-hand and you forget whether or not that knowledge is public because you are so disconnected from the Twidom. You’re still a fan.

• If you LIKE your Twilight books & movies pure & innocent and even though you feel majorly cock-blocked you’d rather that than have all the blanks (and SO MUCH MORE) filled in by FanFic writers, You’re still a fan.

Here is how you know you MIGHT need to turn in your fan card:

• You lost your Twilight books. And didn’t immediately replace them. You’re probably not a fan

• If You saw this commercial and did not IMMEDIATELY think that it’s Big Daddy Lautner’s theme song, then You’re probably not a fan.
  

• If when you’re watching New Moon and see Bella RUSH into the kitchen you don’t immediately think of Moon & I when you hear the following, You’re probably not big UC & Moon fans (but you still might be Twilight fans)
  

• If you don’t own even one little embarrassing memento of your obsession (like a bookmark or a melted piece of Jacob milk chocolate) You’re probably not a fan

• You saw the new Nicolas Sparks book-turned-film last weekend and are now on Team Miley-Cyrus’ Boyfriend, You’re DEFINITELY not a fan

• You ran into Cathy Hardi at the TGIFridays in Venice Beach and now you’re dreading your hair, smoking the tree, prank calling Oregano at 4 am and talking shizz about Summit and how they “screwed the pooch with that Weitz-guy.” You’re either not a fan or Cathy roofied your drink while she distracted you by showing you the Robsten audition tape on her cell phone

So it’s hard to tell.  Am I still a fan? Are you a fan or not? Where is the line? It’s not black & white. It’s all gray & gray’s not good (or cool), but I think we can say this. For as long as I continue blogging on LTT, even if I mistakenly think that Boo Boo Stewart is a distant cousin of Kristen’s, I’m still allowed my fancard. And if you still read LTT every day (or at least 3.67 times a week), despite forgetting the exactly date and time of Edward Masen Cullen’s birthday, you’re still a fan, as well.

Glad we settled that!
UnintendedChoice

*I haven’t watched New Moon on DVD yet. And yet I blog about Twilight each and every day of my life (except Sundays now- it’s my day of rest) so if you wanna say I’m not a fan, I’ll be happy to have a fan off with you. And show you my boobs. For fun. Cuz I wouldn’t win if we had a boob-off, but it’d be fun to say I was a part of.

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