No more Jizz in the world or the Twilight fandom, we beg of you!

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me but we're gonna need a clean up on aisle three

Dear LTT-ers, euphemism lovers and 16 yr old boys,

Can we all agree to call a moratorium on the word “jizz?” Sure, it was funny when Andy Samberg and Lonely Island sang the song “Jizz in my Pants” and even funnier when some enterprising soul put the song to the biology class scene In Twilight, cause who didn’t think Edward had had a little downstairs bonanza when they first saw it? But we’ve officially reached the cut off point. I was alerted yesterday by the “Jizz Tracker 7000” (official name for a fake tracker) that the word Jizz has officially become over used and not to mention just plain gross.

Since the song came out last winter I think I’ve heard the term used in every way possible, as a noun “What the jizz?” as a verb: “I just jizzed all over the place!” as an adjective: “He is so jizzingly hot!” and ya know what? We can’t deal anymore. We’re all smart gals (and dudes) around here I know you have other vocab words. I’d even wholeheartedly agree to the usage of words like “chagrin,” “irrevecable,” and “glower” instead!

So in the interest of our sanity and gag reflex (that’s what she said) can we stop using the term altogether and instead think of a term that equates extreme excitement without the bodily fluids?

I totes just sqee-ed in my pants,
Themoonisdown

And one last time for ol time’s sake! Take it away Lonely Island…

So are we the only ones SO over this word? Are there any more we can add to the list?

What shakin’ with Rob today?
Invent a new excited word in the forum!
We TWEET with excitement!

Celebrate Good Times, COME ON!

Dear LTT gals and lads,

Just like KC and the Sunshine Band sang it’s time for a Celebration! Just the other night we had this conversation…

Moon: I just want to hug all these people [our readers] and be like you know what? You’re pretty cool. I can be having a shitty day, working for people who suck and clients who hate me, but I know somewhere there’s someone reading the blog and THEY like me! Very gushy I know, and maybe a tad drunk, but still gushyand NORMAL
UC: and I feel the same way
Moon: “Gushy” is one of my favorite terms because though I come off as a tough bitch on the exterior to most people, inside I am a truly and deeply sentimental person. Probably almost to a fault, but it’s true, and I can’t deny it- I love to gush.

Today we’re gushing because in our wildest imagination, 4 months ago on December 8th, 2008, we never imagined we’d be HERE with you all, over 500,000 views and 30,000+ comments later! Whew!

However large these blogs end up getting, we hope that one thing remains the same- that you feel personally connected to us and the other readers here, because if nothing else we want this to be a personal experience (albeit a funny one!) because Stephenie Meyer’s books are exactly that- a truly personal look at love and relationships. We can only hope that we convey one ounce of that to you all.

Happy FOUR MONTH anniversary to us! After the jump you can see ours and some of our very own commenters hand-picked favorite posts from the past 4 months.

We love you all and look forward to the next 4,
themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

Our Favorite LTT Posts…

Moon and UC’s fave’s

We’re gonna have to go old school with the very first post EVER “The Purpose Driven Vampire” I mean HELLO I (moon) thought of and wrote the entire post in my head while using the potty! TMI? That’s NORMAL! And it’s where the whole Kellan/youth group story line comes from…

(12/08/08)
The Purpose Driven Vampire

Here are some of the letter highlights:

“Last night after watching the Vanity Fair outtakes video, I decided I hadn’t wasted enough time so why not read all TWELVE interviews? Then I got to yours. And I read that your favorite book is “The Purpose Driven Life” … so that got me to thinking you chose this for two reasons…” Read letter here!

Another Moon/UC Favorite:

Besides quoting the Disney Pocahontas song UC pleads to be cast as Emily and then genius strikes and asks to be cast as Tanya instead in New Moon. So much win in that one. We still laugh reading it.

(01/27/09)
I Can Paint With All The Colors of the Wind

Here are some of the letter highlights:

“Hello. My name is UnintendedChoice, and I wanted to introduce myself because I am coming to visit you really soon. Actually, it’s a good idea for us to become bff’s because you’ll be seeing a lot of me in the upcoming months, starting on Sunday, February 8, from 9am-12pm at the Second Ave Studios.

You see, I have what we call an acute fondness for Robert Pattinson (not to mention a sorta unhealthy obsession of looking at this picture of Taylor Lautner)…” Read letter here!

Find out some of our reader’s favorite letters from the past 4 months on LTT after the jump!

Kellan.Spiders.Over-priced tshirts.

Dear Kellan –

Why am I not surprised to find out you were an Abercrombie and Fitch model? I always thought you looked like one but to see these confirms just about everything I’ve ever thought about you.

You’re the boy of my innocent, Jesus loving, pom pom waving, 15 yr old fantasies. But then I found rock n roll and grew up and you are quite the opposite of most boys I would even look at now… but your personality will always get me. Just from my one quasi run-in with you I know you’re good peoples.

But what the crap is that fake spider on your arm?!

And I MUST ask what did your parents think about this? Great opportunity and all but don’t you remember the big backlash A&F got for their pseudo porn-o content? They even had to bag the mail catalogs because they were supposedly so “risque.” HA. Oh late ’90s you crack me up now. I bet this sent your youth group into a tizzy. And all the girls hyperventilating into their “Footprints” bible carriers.

Well guess this means I’ll be looking through my old A&F stuff when I go home next time. Maybe I’ll find some long lost gems of you!

❤
Me and my 15 yr old self

PS I still wanna be your accountability partner… how’s about it?

MORE MORE MORE Kellan Abercrombie goodness after the cut

Jizzed in my pants, again

Dear Edward,

Last night I was hanging out with friends and we were watching music videos like it was 1991 and we were in high school (have you seen the Rihanna/Maroon 5 vid? HOT). We came upon the original SNL version of “Jizz in my pants” and I was remembering the first time I saw the clip of you in Biology mashed up with that song. I laughed.

THEN, I was reading over some of the comments today and noticed JBell posted a link to a FULL version of the song with MORE Twilight clips. I laughed again.

Thanks JBell!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

Time is running out to enter our Twi-alentine’s Day Contest.  All entries are due Thursday evening!

Fans still love Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Nope. We haven’t forgotten about you. We’ve been a little distracted by all the NReed/KStew lesbo talk and the Kellan Lutz “good boy from your youth group” stories, but we still love you.

While Rob is definitely out-shining you in the letter department, people do still write to YOU too.  See, I’ll prove it:

xo

Dear People at Target,

I swear I am not crazy…and I am not a biatch (well maybe sometimes)! I just find it really annoying and hard not to use my vampire strength to rip your throats out for selling the last copy of the Twilight Movie companion you had in stock to a tween who still can’t possibly know or understand how Edward can make someone ‘jizz her pants,’ as he does me! I understand how you are not really in control of when you will get restocked again, but do you know how inconvenient it is for me to have to wait until tomorrow to hit up Barnes and Noble when you’re just 5 mins from my house?!!?? Anyway sorry for glaring at you (cashier girl) with my ‘onyx-colored’ eyes…I swear they’re not always this color. Next time please try and keep better stock…k?

Thanks,

krazykidd

P.S.

My apologies to my fiancee who thought he might have to restrain me when that bitchfaced tween wallked past me with a smirk on her smug little face in triumph…for a SECOND there I wished I was Jane so I could put her dumbass on check!! (only for a SECOND)   

 

Dear Twilight,

Who knew you were this addictive? I’m sure Stephenie Meyer’s publishers did. 

From December 23, 2008 to January 2, 2009 I was completely engrossed in the Twilight Saga that I didn’t even notice Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day! Honestly, there should be some sort of disclaimer on the back. Only took me 11 days to finish the series because “I had to know”. I thought I would be past my obsession once I finished all four books…now even it’s worse.

Now, I take random online quizzes about Twilight and their characters (so sad), and I cannot go to bed without hearing Bella’s lullaby. Also, (and this is hard for me to admit) I rub body shimmering lotion on my boyfriend so that he could sparkle like Edward. It’s safe to say I have a problem.

I will admit that I don’t obsess over the book more than I do over the movie. Watching the book come to life made me wish that this fantasy would never end! Every fibre of my being anticipates the release of the New Moon movie. In the meantime, I get my fix from fanmade videos and blogs (although I would prefer the official complete draft of Midnight Sun, hint hint Steph). 

Twilight, all that’s left to say is this: “You’re like my own personal brand of heroin“. 

Patiently trying to wait,

newtwilightlover (Shari)

Time to begin lining up at your local Best Buy

Dear Twilight Fans-

Guess what! We have a new release date for the DVD and Summit has released DVD art today! So now we can start over-analyzing the possibilities…

First off… TWO DISC SPECIAL EDITION! What could that possibly contain?! I mean we know there’s a commentary with Rob, Kristen and Catherine and there’s a couple deleted scenes they’ve talked about, but let’s get real. Give the fans what they really want:

– extended makeout scenes
– secret hidden camera footage from the wardrobe trailer
– footage from the much bally-hooed hotel jam sessions all the cast talks about
– all the deleted scenes where Rob’s accent flips back n forth between American and English
– clips from the Hot Topic promo tour, especially anything that involves fainting Goth girls
– Kellan’s on location bible study curriculum

What do you guys want to see?

The DVD will be released March 21st and features a deleted scene called “Midnight Sun.” Dare we even contemplate what that means?

Anxiously waiting…
Me (themoonisdown)

More info at Pink is the new blog and Just Jared
PS Trent from PITNB wants the dvd to include body glitter. But what about a tube top and ticket to see the jobros?

‘Nuff said

Dear Edward,

Now that you got it over with Bella, do you mind stopping over to show me how you do it? I have this really ugly headboard that is too big to fit in our trashcans…

I’ll be waiting,
me (xo)

Twilosophy Vol. 1

Dearest philosophical Twi-hard,

This image has NOTHING to do with Twilosophy. Enjoy!

I present to you our first official version of Twilight Philosophy: aka Twilosophy.  So very often, theMoonisDown and I have such introspective conversations about Twi-life, but we miss out on sharing them with you due to our busy schedules providing pictures for Perez to rip off, writing hit Twi-mas songs and updating the world on all-things-Rob.

We don’t want you to think we’re shallow, or incapable of talking about the deeper aspects of living the Twi-life. Plus my husband majored in Philosophy in college, so I’m kinda an expert.

Warning: This week’s twilosophy contains spoilers

Tonight I had a revelation: While Rob Pattinson looks to be jizzing in his pants during the first Biology scene in the movie, he is, in fact, acting just as Stephenie Meyer hoped Edward would act. Last night I started re-reading Midnight Sun. (It’s not like I had anything better to do- dishes haven’t been done since before Christmas, there is still wrapping paper in shreads in the living room and I haven’t cleaned the cat’s litter box in over a week, but whatevs)

Reading Midnight Sun, you’re struck with just HOW MUCH Edward wanted to kill Bella. I thought to myself “UnintendedChoice (just kidding, I rarely call myself that), how would YOU act like you’re about to kill an innocent teenager and massacre an entire classroom?” And if we remember back to Anne Rice’s Interview with a Vampire, we learned that sucking the blood of a victim is quite a sensual experience. And Edward even imagines it..taking his time with Bella’s warm blood…so it makes sense that he would act like, well, he jizzed in his pants.

Forgot how awesome the movie was? (how could you?!) Thanks to a Chinese pirate, we can watch the entire movie in sections here.

(Read our first unofficial run at Twilosophy here)

This really never happens you can take my word…

Dear Rob-

Everytime I see you do this face in the movie I get a little uncomfortable and I have to excuse myself for a second… apparently someone else understands…

Stop making me jizz in my pants!
XXX- Me

Check out the original Jizz in my Pants
PS this is a double post from ‘Letters to Rob’ but I couldn’t resist, you simply MUST see this video
PPS Your fans are amazing!