Kristen Stewart in Bella’s new wig!

Oh crap, those were real scissors

Dear Eclipse Wig Dept,

Since Eclipse started filming last week and no one’s seen Kristen Stewart in her new Bella get-up everyone’s been well: wigging out. Heh. Clearly fans have been flipping out since they saw Kstew’s Runaways hair and wondered what the crap you were going to do with it for Eclipse. Wigs? Tracks? A weave? Extensions?! The mind spins with options! Ok, maybe that’s the 2 “big girl” drinks I just had, but spinning none the less.

So maybe we weren’t so kind to your New Moon counterparts a few months ago when we saw poor Jackson in that god awful poodle wig that was designed for Jasper. I still shudder even now when I see it and don’t know if I’ll be able to overcome it when I’m watching the movie, but well, I guess that’s something you have to live with and not me. Just don’t be surprised if I have Vietnam style flashbacks during the premiere anytime Jasper is on screen. But anyhow, what I’m now currently worrying about is what Bella’s wig will look like. I know we all let out a collective gasp and clutched our throats when we saw that KStew up and got crazy and cut herself a mullet for Runaways filming (you guys more than us I’m sure). Cause now you have to deal with that dead raccoon on her head and turn it into beautiful Bella hair. Sucks to be you all. BUUTT since we’re professional bloggers and total Twilight nerds around here, we’re here to help and I’ve got a few suggestions that just might work for The Great Mullet Fiasco of 09…

Since we’re in a recession and Jacob is now a werewolf you won’t need his old wigs, so why not reuse that for Bella’s wig? Almost the same color, just curl it up a little and presto long hair! We’re in a recessional yall and we all know how Summit likes to save a few clams so WIN WIN!

And since we’re talking about re-using why not try out the old Jasper poodle wig?! What, Bella’s not blond? Who cares, make her squirm a little for cutting it all off.

Follow the cut to see some more AWESOME wigs!

Monday Funnies: Cuz nothing’s funnier than laughing at Twilight

Dear Twilight,

I’m so glad we can laugh at your expense. Cuz Lord knows that the list is growing of reasons why I need to laugh: Pics surfaced of Robsten having an intense argument at the Kings of Leon concert about who would have the most grease if they wrung their hair into a measuring cup; when writing about how I was scarred because I accidentally clicked on the snail & dragon penis‘ 3 times on Friday, I accidentally clicked on them another 3 times; I forgot Bella & Edward’s anniversary; I went to three cupcake places yesterday and all three were closed; Plus Cam Gigandet’s 27th birthday was yesterday, and I was really pissed cuz my “Important Twi dates” calendar had it wrong and listed his birthday as today, and then I realized instead of being pissed that I missed it I should just be embarrassed that I have an “Important Twi-dates” calendar. So, I need these laughs:

After the jump- a little bonus Monday Funny:

Joan Jett – We feel your pain (aka Kristen Stewart)

24, 24 hours to go... I wanna be sedated!

Dear Joan,

I bet you totally regret casting that ‘Twilight Girl’ to play you in the Runaways Biopic, even though your niece totally loves that hunky vampire dude and was hoping to meet him because of the KStew connection. But sadly, no Rob and all you’re left with is a skinny girl who blinks and stutters her way through your kick ass life.

And what about the hair? Instead of rocking your bad ass femme mullet she looks more like Johnny Ramone with a lot of volume. Makes me wonder what they’re gonna do in a month when she has to have Bella hair again. Get yo weave on girl!
I just read a story about you yelling at Kristen to step it up her game on the Runaways set and she ended up crying. Did she have the Bella hospital break down on you?

“What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

I wanna rock n roll all night and party every day! This is not the KISS biopic ladies!

Obviously at this point you had to slap her so she would snap out of it. You’re an original RiotGiRRRL for goodness sake. Teach that trick some respect! And I’m sure you’ll agree with me: There’s no crying in PUNK ROCK! Tell her to snap out of it or we’re gonna have words! Same goes for Dakota Fanning. These two need to bring it or go home cause if they screw up Cherry Bomb like Twilight got screwed we’ll have to lay the smack down like James did in the ballet studio.

So Joan, if you’re ever feeling blue about the whole thing or just like to laugh at people when they fall down, cause who doesn’t? Watch the following video… and maybe one of us will figure out how to put the falling part on loop!

Hello world, I’m your wild girl!
Themoonisdown

PS Read one of our very own LTR/LTT girls ROB ENCOUNTER at LTR!!
Talk about all this goodness at The Forum!

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Follow the cut for some Runaways musical goodies from me to you!

Instead of a New Moon, Cam Gigandet has a Five Star Day

You ripped me apart and burned the pieces... I gotta say, I'm kinda hurt

Dear Cam-

Since the MTV movie awards Sunday night I haven’t been able to get your out of my head. From the black peacoat slash waistcoat thing to the black ass kicking boots and the way you stared longingly at Robert Pattinson during the Best Fight Award acceptance speech, I knew I had to forgive you. I mean you are Kevin Volchok from The OC after all, the crazy cokey face creepo surfer who befriended Marissa only to later kill her by ramming your car into Ryan’s in an attempt to “convince her to talk to you!” Smart move dudes. I’ll never get how Ryan thought that would end well and decided to keep speeding up to lose you only to be pushed over the cliff. But alas it was The OC and you were Volchok and Ryan was Ryan Atwood and if he thought punching someone in the face at a mother/daughter fashion show or driving a car over a cliff was a good idea, than he did it.  But I guess that’s a letter for our fake site Letterstotheoc.com. Instead, I’m going to call a truce with you Cam. That’s right, I no longer think you’re a crazed maniac who keyed the Cohen’s car or the awful vampire who steals a video camera from Bella’s house and fake kidnaps her mom. You’re Cam, sensitive muscles for hire.

Would Volchok wear a coat like this?! Heck would ROB?! He's looking like a waiter at TGIFridays and I stepped off the runway. Forgive me!

Why the change of heart, you ask? Well I think there may be a softer gentler side of Cam that we haven’t seen yet but we’re about to. Recently I saw the trailer for a movie called Five Star Day which features you as Jake, the guy who after having the crappiest day in his life, sets out to disprove astrology and I quote:

Astrology: a propaganda campaign of bullshit

Real talk! But I guess somewhere along the way you meet people like Jena Malone (in a serious pixie hairdo) who change your outlook on life for the better and all to a killer soundtrack. Seriously, you know me and movie soundtracks.

So dear Cam can we call it a truce? Can we let bygones be bygones and murderous surfer dudes be murderous surfer dudes? Let’s move past all that trying to kill Bella and fight Edward stuff! I mean originally I heard you were supposed to play Emmett and if that’s the case than I would have been writing this a long time ago but I guess you won’t be around for anymore Twilight movies, so I’ll have to settle for seeing you elsewhere like in Five Star Day and on my DVD collection of The OC.

Welcome to the Olympic Peninsula, Bitch! (that’s the last OC reference I SWEAR!)
Themoonisdown

Check out the trailer for Five Star Day…

go to the Website: fivestarday.com
subscribe on YouTube

Oh and PS if you didn’t get all those OC references where have you been living?! Go get the DVDs NOW! That show and our love of Adam Brody is one of the things that brought UC and I together.

-Don’t forget about UC’s trip to NYC this weekend, read her plans at LTR
-Are you in LA and wanna hang with ME and some of your other LTT/LTR favorites at the Sam Bradley show?? Check the forum Meetup section!
-Oh and why don’t you be a good pal and clicky on our brand spanking new ad up there for Bella’s jacket!

Celebrating Memorial Day with Twilight!

And I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free...

Dear Military service people, fallen heroes, deceased vampires and those who have gone before us-

Today is Memorial Day here in the states, it’s a day set aside to remember the past, people who have passed on in our lives and also to thank our service men and women for protecting and serving. We here at Letters to Twilight and Letters to Rob salute you and thank you for you service to our country! Without people like you we wouldn’t be free to profess our love for a British Boy, wear cute outfits like Ms. Stewart over there, or be free to write a snarky blog about vampires.

Today we’ve dragged Kristen Stewart out in her campy military finest to pay special tribute to the following:

James – You certainly made for interesting sport and fodder for the first book/movie but I have to say I’m glad your creepy trailer trash-y self won’t be around for another movie

Victoria – We will most definitely miss your faboo hair after Edward rips you limb from limb in Eclipse. It’ll be awesome but we’ll miss seeing a kick ass girl uh well… kicking ass!

Harry Clearwater – we barely knew ye… but anyone who fathered Seth Clearwater, makes the best fish fry in Forks and is Charlie’s BFF MUST be good people!

Jasper Whitlock – Thank you for your valiant service as a major in the Confederate Army before you were unceremoniously turned into a vampire and then helped train and lead the New Born Army… though I’m not quite sure that kind of army is something we celebrate on Memorial Day but we’ll use any excuse to talk about Jasper

Army Unicorn – our very own unicorn commenter who happens to serve and protect each day in the US Army. We ❤ ya!

Have a wonderful holiday… cook lots of cured meats and we’ll see you back here tomorrow and back to our regularly scheduled programming
XO
Themoonisdown

PS Don’t forget to check out Letters to Rob and see what’s cooking over there for Memorial Day
Chat it up in the forum!

Kickin’ arse and taking names with Cam Gigandet

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more about “cam“, posted with vodpod

Dear Cam-

Your video on Funny or Die was part genius you truly ALMOST hit the mark with this one. Good call on cashing in on Twilight since your character James is dead now and won’t be back for any of the sequels so you miss out on all the extra publicity. The video is hilarious because it’s true and that’s what makes the video so great… but between you and me we all know if this every really happened, if you ever really encountered a group of crazy twihards be it preteens or twimoms in a book group you wouldn’t have won. Not at all. They would have “ripped you apart and burned the pieces.” Just like any good vampire killer would. Trust. Now be careful out there dear it’s a wild world!

You can run but you can’t hide!
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget ol Robby today or the forum!

Cam Gigandet – Our fave nomadic trashy vampire!

Dear Cam-

We don’t talk nearly enough about the nomadic vampires around here… well besides our BFF Rachelle! We thought it was time we paid homage to our 2nd favorite BAD vamp (yes, Rachelle/Victoria will always be our first) and your awesome portrayal of James. Don’t tell anyone but sometimes when I’m watching the movie or reading the book I wish you would have gone a little off script and totally killed Bella. I mean all that whining and blinking and crap gets old after a while. But I guess they wouldn’t let that happen, what with killing the heroine and needing to finish the rest of saga and all. Oh well, a girl can dream can’t she?

So anycrap…

First can we talk about how flipping cute you are in the Gap ads? During Christmas you were the only thing keeping me from going postal in the mall. Whenever I was feeling particularly NOT FULL OF CHEER I would find the nearest Gap and look at your face and then know I could make it through a few more stores…

Seriously though, can we talk about your wig/look in Twilight? I mean we know they screwed up everyone else’s wigs but yours looked especially white-trashy. And maybe that’s the look they were going for but I was thinking they should have gone more just plain HOT cause you’re a vampire after all and totes cute sauce in real life!

It’s kinda too bad they killed you off… well maybe not, watching Alice rip your head off is just “good programming.”

But if they somehow figured out a way for you to come back and reek havoc on Forks or just sneak in and slap Bella I wouldn’t be mad!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS who else is feeling Cam? Did anyone totally want to DO trashy James?

Moment of shameless self promotion: have you voted for us today in the Dazzle Awards as your favorite Rob Fansite (I mean really is there any other?) And since there was no category for Favorite Cam site, you gotta head over there and pick the next best thing. LTR!!

A Haiku for KStew

KStew someone loves you!

Dear Kristen-

As you know, this past weekend Moon & I were together in LA with my husband and his best friend (the bff).  We dragged their butts all over LA and made them sit in the back of the 2 door car Moon drives. We loved every minute of our girl-power.

We were shocked on Saturday night because they agreed to watch Twilight with us if we promised to stop at the liquor store first. Many beers, gin & tonics and champagne toasts later, we started the movie. The bff was actually excited to see the movie because “that hot indie chick from Into the Wild is in it.” (Don’t worry- we didn’t tell him you’re a fake lesbian)

Ya know that part when James jumps onto the boat right before the bad vamps kill Buttcrack Santa? Well, Waylon asks “Who are you?” and James appears.  My husband announced that the bff looks like James.  And he’s right. We rewound that part and had a lot of laughs imagining the bff answering Waylon’s fearful “Who are you” with his name instead. It was funny. Believe us.

After the movie ended we asked what the guys thought, and the bff declared: “I’m going to write Kristen a haiku.” [Just a little FYI- the bff is an artist- a songwriter, a poet, (and apparently a wandering vampire) and he likes to respond to text messages in haiku. So this wasn’t a very strange declaration (well, it’s a little strange b/c no one ever thought anyone would write you a haiku, and well, okay. It’s also strange because.. who writes haikus?)] And he wrote one. On the spot. He’s that good.

He'll 'track' you down girl

A vampire I’m not
But in love with you I am
(Edward is a tool)

The bff actually sent us a bunch of haikus to choose from, and we thought we’d share one per week. We’re so cruel to you half the time (you deserve it) that we thought we’d show you something nice written by your friendly neighborhood nomad vampire male fan.

Hugs & Haikus,
UC, Moon & the Bff

*Do you have the hots for the bff? Wanna hear more from the creator of the amazing haiku? Well, check out his band because we love them and promised him TONS of new fans in exchange for plastering his face on a Twilight blog. No seriously, they’re good. You can say you knew him when he was “just a guy writing haikus” Far Beyond Frail

Twilight- the Lost Script

Dear Twilight,

I must be really out of it here because I thought I had read/seen/heard everything related to you that was published in the last 2 years, but I totally missed this one. MSN did a hilarious post called “Twilight- the lost Script” back in November.  I captured the pictures and hilarious convo for my blog so that I can read it forever into eternity. It’s that good.

Love,
UnintendedChoice  

Click to make the pics bigger and laugh along with me! 

The hilarity continues after the jump. You don’t want to miss this!

 

Making a list, checking it twice

Dear Cam-

Walking through the mall today was like being herded with a bunch of cattle. Then I saw your smiling face in Gap and it made it a smidge more bearable…

a smidge.

Thanks,
Me

Watch more of Cam at the Gap photoshoot… he says “my next future wife” uh what?

Cam Gigandet’s GAP Ad