News Dump: All the Twilight News fit to print, Monkey smell, Bree’s back and bitchface

Turn off your smell-o-vision

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time again… tons of tid bits of interesting info but not enough time to write letters about it all. That means it’s time for a news dump. We’ll let you know what we think about the news and you decide from there if you care that much about 100 Monkeys or how Tyler Houseman’s promo shoot turned out.

• If these pictures had a scratch-n-sniff function this post about Jackson and 100 Monkeys playing at Bamboozle would smell like BO, ear hair, vomit, a melted Slurpee, an ash tray full of wet cigarettes, a used sweat towel from Jr High gym class, and melted Depp hair gel. Yup, EXACTLY what it would smell like.

• Bill Condon is announced as the director for Breaking Dawn. No word on whether it will be one or two movies or 3D or not lame but he writes fans a letter and does get a few things right, he addresses us all as twihards, Twilight fans and Twilight Moms. *RECORD SCRATCH* ummm… BILL? We’re gonna need to talk about this later

• David Slade got into the #goo stuff Monday night and tweeted till he got the munchies and left. IN THE FUTURE disable all communication devices before lighting up. Just ask La Stew.

Wait, she wrote a book about ME?!!

• You know that girl baby vamp that no one really care about, but is apparently a big enough deal that Stephenie decided to write a whole book about just her, while Midnight Sun remains unfinished? Yea there’s a new picture of her as Bree.

• Probably one of the causes of Slade’s online hissy fit, Lainey Gossip posted lots and lots of gossip and speculation about what REALLY went on behind the scenes of the Eclipse reshoots or as officials are calling them “pick ups.” Personally, I’d like to think the cause of all the hub-bub is actually because of the helicopters Punk’d Images hired to get these grainy ass photos of Bella and Jacob out on a dock somewhere… speaking of wasn’t I just talking about Vancouver and docks?

• The New York City paparazzi show us that they’re big fans off LTT by yelling the most amazing comment ever at Kristen while on the Met Gala red carpet… witness and then crazy Krisbians you can yell at me in the comments

We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether that’s a curtain or a table cloth around the bottom of her dress

Biiiiiitch please, I gotta tattoo

• Promo shots for Eclipse are starting to circulate around the nets of The Cullens, The Holy Trinity and The Wolfpack. For what it’s worthy Leah has the best bitchface and rack hands down.

• NOKIA Theater was announced as the place for the Eclipse premiere, and then it wasn’t and then everyone was confused. And then it was back at Grauman’s Chinese Theater like it was supposed to be all along.

• Robert Pattinson still loves to choke a bitch out. And wear incredibly tight, ball hugging, high waisted pants. We love it. We don’t.

Yup, that’s the news… I’m still thinking about Bree and being called a Twi-hard by Bill Condon…

IN THE FUTURE the news will be beamed to our brains. THE FUTURE IS NOW!
Themoonisdown

So what do you think about Leah’s bitchface? Amazing, right? And her hot ass tatt. Has anyone gone to a recent 100 Monkeys concert? Did I get the smell right? It’s been quite a while for me.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

My perfect New Moon premiere outfit – Contest

Dear New Moon cast members,

We are 34 days from the premiere of New Moon and to be honest I’m started to freak out a little bit.That’s 34 days till every Twihard descends on Los Angeles to hunt you like dogs in the street. Ok, maybe it won’t be that intense. 34 days till UC and I are reunited again. 34 days till I get to meet tons of our awesome readers turned pals! 34 days till we make out with Chris Weitz to how our gratitude. But mostly there’s only 34 days for me to pick out the perfect outfit to wear when I see New Moon. You can imagine how much I’ve been thinking about this. UC has already pulled her perfect outfit together so I’m under the gun and I need to find the hottest, sexiest outfit that will make Rob stop dead in his tracks.

So I got to thinking that I should probably wear something comfortable since I’ll have to be able to punch and kick easily and the outfit needs to be able to last several days out in the elements as I’ll be sleeping on the sidewalk in front of the theater next to a hobo. Because of these prerequisites I’ve decided I should role with a tshirt and here are the options I’ve found…

I’m just a werewolf… not a mummy or a zombie or even a cookie monster. Sorry to let you down

Follow the cut to see my NM outfit and to learn about our CONTEST!

IMMA WINNER!! Contest winners announced!

*EDIT: if we did not post your entry YET please don’t post it in the comments, we will be featuring entries ALL weekend! THX!*

Dear Imma Contest participants and LTT-ers,

UC: Remember last week when we announced that we’d be hosting a contest for our readers with awesome prizes from Bella Bejeweled?
Moon: Totes, I almost entered under my pseudonym: TheButtcrackisDown cause I wanted to be just like Alice and Bella and wear jewelery like theirs, but I figured you’d know it was me when that email came through. And I don’t lie so well- my non-poker face gives it away.
UC: Yea, you never did know how to make a kitty meow, but you love those little bottles.
Moon: Truth.
UC: ANYWAY all week we received a TON of entries on Twitter and to our email address from you funny gals making us both laugh till we cried and making it SO hard (that’s what she said) to pick only TWO winners so-
Moon: *grabs the mic keyboard out of UC’s hand* Hey, Sorry I gotta interrupt here! UC you’re a great blogger and winner announcer and all and imma let you finish but our readers are the best in the whole blogosphere and we need to reveal the winners right now!
UC: Ok, Ok… and the winners are:

Submitted via Twitter

Winner: @Chelseaheptig !!!!!
You slayed us with your use of the 100 Monkeys and the worst band in the world: Creed! You deserve a medal for bravery in laughs and some earplugs!

Submitted via Email

Winner: Beth!!!
You interrupted Martha Stewart to let her know she had nothing on Rob’s sewing skills. I mean after all he did resurrect both the old stoli shirt AND those heinous pants with probably nothing more than a hotel sewing kit. He should get a girlscout badge or something!

Congratulations Chelsea and Beth you gals are the winners of some beautiful jewelry courtesy of Bella Bejeweled!

Let’s give a HUGE round of applause to our winners and to ALL (there were a ton) the participants! And because there were SO many good entries we simply couldn’t NOT show you some of the best so this weekend we’ll be showcasing all our favorite entries… starting with the runner’s up. Follow the cut to see the one who ALMOST won