How do people know I like Twilight?

Dear Twilight,

I might be a little paranoid.  My Facebook quote has said for awhile:

Sometimes I go into a store, and try to be as casual as possible… but I just have this major fear that… they know…

twilight-book-coverI do! I fear that when I’m browsing the books at Target, not even LOOKING for Twi-stuff, everyone STARES at me when my eye catches the black cover of one of the books. When I’m in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store, and I casually pick up the latest Cosmo mag to see if they’re still trying to convince people that guys like hot/cold “down there” (they don’t…) and I notice a teeny tiny pic of Rob, I feel like people hear my heart skip a beat and STARE. I’m paranoid. Clearly

A friend recently wrote on my facebook wall, “UC! I haven’t talked to you in forever. I’m reading the Twilight books by Stephenie Meyer (you know they’re a new fan when they give you too much info as if you wouldn’t know what series they were talking about) and my husband told me about your blog! I LOVE it!” Okay #1) How the H does your husband know about my little secret blog? #2) NOT ON MY FACEBOOK WALL! I know I act all uber open & passionate about Twilight on LTT & LTR, but I do not talk about it in person. It kills me not to correct someone when they call him “Robert Patterson” or say the series takes place in “Forks, Oregon,” but I don’t do it. I’m smoothe, I’m cool… I’m not outing myself for Twilight.

Recently Moon & I received an e-mail from a wonderful LTT/LTR reader named “K.” It said:

You found me on facebook!?  What?! I kinda felt like you guys do when people randomly mention your blog to you and you panic that people know.  I don’t mind reading hilarious blogs and sharing hot, goofy, or hilarious pics and other such things to people I’ve never met but share the same infatuation, but I need to salvage my dignity and reputation as a sane human being by pretending I don’t know what people are talking about when they mention sparkling men or naughty dumpster fantasies.

I’m the kind of person, that when asked if I’ve read/like Twilight, I respond, “yeah, I read the books a while ago (also last week) and thought they were pretty good.” Minor downplaying, you know, just so I’m still credible in the eyes of the rest of the human race.

Anyways, so I’m sure you can imagine my momentary dilemma when I got this friend request: to-be-friend or not-to-be-friend. As tempting as it was, I just had to click ignore.

So, I guess this is just my letter to you, apologizing for being that kid in high school who would myspace all weekend but pretend they’ve never seen you before come math class monday morning.

Anywho, I love you both though I’ll never publicly admit it. ❤ K

We weren’t hurt! I would never be friends with us on Facebook if I wasn’t actually us. (Actually, neither one of us ARE friends with LTT on facebook… ha!)

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

Every ticket comes with a free pair of earplugs

So, I’ve been thinking about why I won’t “out” myself and really confess to my “real” world how big of a fan I am. Besides the obvious reasons of the crazy fan-girl lusty moments I have over Robert Pattinson, I think it’s because Twilight isn’t “okay” for adults to like. Don’t get me wrong- WE think it’s ‘okay’ because we GET IT. But I’d say the majority of people judge it as young adult/teenage-nonsense/MTV garbage. We’ve all read the interviews with Stephenie- she never set out to write Young Adult fiction…. I’m gonna argue that I don’t think she did write young adult fiction. I just think that’s the genre her publisher put her in.

Crap. Darn that Little brown bear. Or little Bear Brown… Whatever… Darn Steph’s publishing company for making me live a secret life. And while I’m ‘darning’ people (yes, I say darning, please love it), Darn Robert Pattinson for being so damn hot and making me get so lusty online that I have to hide in this virtual bubble where I spent the majority of my time. So much time that often when I come out of my bubble into the ‘real’ world I answer people by saying “That’s Normal,” introducing myself as “UC,” referring so often to my friend “Moon” in Los Angeles that I joke people must think we’re becoming “fake lesbians.” Yes, I get strange looks.

Maybe it’s not such a crazy idea to think that people are staring at me….Maybe I’m not as normal as I think…..

Nah, “That’s Normal”
UnintendedChoice

Be Normal in The Forum
Lust over Rob on LTR
Read more Twilosophy here

So what is it? Why do most of us hide our obsession from our ‘real’ lives!?


Letters to Twilight: Mid-year Progress report

LTT/LTR Mid year progress report

LTT/LTR Mid year progress report

Dear Faithful Readers and Newbies-

Before we break to celebrate this fair country’s independence day tomorrow, we must first look at where we’ve come from. And by we, of course I mean us here at Letters to Twilight, not the United States. It’s time to check in on the state of our of New Year’s Resolutions! Remember when we promised to do stuff back on January 1st in the name of this blog? For those of you who are new to these fair blogs, UC and I made resolutions that we’re striving to keep and now that we’re halfway through the year of 2009 we felt it was time to reassess our promises and goals. Cause like any good accountability partner we want to be fully transparent with our successes and our stumbling blocks.

So how did we do? Will we be rewarded with special hugs from Kellan, Jackson & Justin Chong? Let’s see…


welcomesign

Freaks coming to a town near you!

In 2009 we promised to…

1. Make a pilgrimage to Forks, WA and maybe drag along some pals to terrorize this lovely town.

Reality: We’re still waiting for the city of Forks to sent us a hand engraved invitation to visit them along with keys to the city, renaming First Beach after us (UC and Moon Memorial Beach or Letters to a Beach would work) and finally for the Quilieute tribe to name us honorary members and give us native names. Since this hasn’t happened yet we’re going to put this in the lose category and look for a new travel agent.

UC/Moon: 0          People who want us to fail: 1

2. Bring you coverage and live ‘Letters’ from the red carpet premiere of New Moon… are you listening Summit Entertainment marketing dept?! You need us, we’re professionals! Seriously, email us.

Reality: Well, since the premiere isn’t till November 20, 2009 we still have time to make this happen. Are you listening SUMMIT?! We’re ready, willing and able (that’s what she said) to provide our “services” on the red carpet! But to our credit, we have live tweeted/blogged or attended various events including the Oscars, the DVD release, AND live blogged the MTV Movie Awards with our pals for over 50,000 people!

UC/Moon: .5          People who want us to fail: 1.5

100monkeysny

you call this music?! why yes, I'll torture myself for your reading pleasure!

3. Torture your eyes and ears with as many 100 Monkeys videos as we can find/take/make.

Reality: Not ONLY did we do this we even organized groups of people to see Jackson and the 100 Monkeys live! And while there, dirty-danced with the Bananager! To add to that we’ve also organized and seen Sam Bradley concerts as well and have Bobby Long shows coming up so BOOYAH! In fact, I think we deserve and extra point for this one and we’ll get it because we make the rules!

UC/Moon: 1.5          People who want us to fail: 1.5

(tie ball game!)

4. Convince Stephenie Meyers to finish Midnight Sun in a timely fashion (like by Feb. 1st or something)

Reality: Stephenie Meyer stopped talking our phone calls after we called her as Rob Pattinson’s assistants and asked her if he dazzled her. Frequently. Apparently, we do not. Much to her chagrin.

UC/Moon: 1.5          People who want us to fail: 2.5

5. Make Kristen Stewart aka Sour Puss smile at least 3-4 times by our hilarious commentaries.

As a matter of fact, I think Kristen Stewart has smiled more times in the last 7 months since we’ve been around then she has in her entire life.

We threw the best online Birthday Party a 19 yr old could ask for
The BFF James look alike fell in love with her and created Haiku’s in her honor
We uncovered her not so secret life partner
We role played her working relationships with both Emile Hirsch AND Rob Pattinson

UC/Moon: 2.5          People who want us to fail: 2.5

6. Bring you even more shirtless pictures of Kellan while making inappropriate comparisons between him and that hot guy from your youth group who was nice to everyone.

Reality: We provide the shirtless Kellan pictures like it’s our job! Case closed!

UC/Moon: 3.5          People who want us to fail: 2.5

premier

Us, New Moon premiere!

7. Start to v-log occasionally (UnintendedChoice might even perform a hit like “All I want for Christmas is a Twilight Calendar” live on video)

Reality: Yes, indeed we have embarrassed ourselves via video in the name of this blog multiple times and plan to continue doing so, as long as cameras exist as well as our stupid ideas!

Mini Edwards Meadow
DVD Release
Kiss Me!

alicehottopic

More girls! More Alice!

UC/Moon: 4.5    People who want us to fail: 2.5

8. Actually start featuring more Twilight girls on this site! We love you Ashley Greene and Alice and Anna Kendrick and Angela and sometimes Kristen Stewart! Enough with these boys, girl power!

Reality: We’ve pledged our life long love, bff-ness and asked Ashley to be our lesbian life partner, as well as Christian Serratos, Anna Kendrick, Elizabeth Reaser, Rachelle Lafevre. Seriously girls, we LOVE you.

UC/Moon: 5.5    People who want us to fail: 2.5

Well, look at that! Our LTT mid-year review says UC/Moon are ahead of the people who want us to fail (you know like the hater that one time called us losers and asked how many bowls of ice cream we eat a day. ‘sniff) We always have some areas to work on, of course- the two main being the New Moon premiere & convincing Stephenie to finish Midnight Sun– but we have a plan. It’s simple. We’ll just go to the New Moon premiere & convince her to finish it. Done and done!

Justin Chong here we come,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisdown

Since it’s a holiday weekend in the US, you won’t see us around much- we’ll check in from time to time to approve new comments, but don’t fret if your comment seems to have gotten lost- we’ll get it up there, it just might take a lil’ bit! Enjoy your holiday!

Play in The Forum (if UC remembers to start the new thread in Rob’s flat- she’s on her own this weekend- yikes!)

See how well we’ve kept our LTR resolutions over at LettersToRob


The Inevitable New Merchandise for New Moon

Dear Twi-hards,

With the release of New Moon fast approaching (146 days!), it was only a matter of time before the machine started rolling out new merchandise for fans to buy. After all Hot Topic almost single handedly saved the economy back in February. And we really can’t be losing anymore mall stores. Where else will I find my neon green tutu’s, Mario Brothers shirts and gothic parasols?  I mean, there goes my whole wardrobe, right? But never fear we’re just now getting a glimpse of the goodies to come that might just save the entire United States economy. Fingers crossed.

shirt

WOOOOOWWW just in case you wanted to go hunting and be camouflaged but also show how much you love Twilight, we have this lovely shirt. To our country friends, this will look nice while you’re out hunting deer with Jethro and the boys and if you’re lucky enough you’ll be wearing this on the next season of Red Neck Weddings!

NMdeskcalendar
Don’t you hate it when you’re at work and just about to close the BIG deal and can’t remember what date it is? I know I do! But after I get this handy little desk calender I can look confidently at the client and say, why yes it IS exactly one month and 3 days till my life is complete and New Moon comes out October 17th! Thank God I had this calendar or we couldn’t have made this million dollar deal! Great doing business with you!

barbiedolls
So Barbie Bella and Ken Edward dolls are like the complete antithesis of Malibu Barbie and Ken. Instead of tans they have pale, sparkly skin. Instead of the pink corvette Bella has the broke down beater truck. Instead of skin bearing bikini’s and swim trunks it’s coverage from head to toe. And instead of a Dream House on the beaches of Malibu, it’s a middle class house in rainy Forks, Washington. My only question is: what about the Bob Mackie designed raincoats and the Quielute addition to the “Barbies Around the World” collection? Mattel, you totally dropped the ball on this one!

nmlipvenom
Lip Venom, guys really? I remember this stuff from like Seventeen Magazine in the 90s. It was supposed to plump up your lips to give it that “bee stung” look. The whole concept is off, first of all who wants to be stung when putting on lip gloss? And not surprisingly the product failed and went away. But now that Vampires are the hip thing, why not trot this little diddy out again but with a new spin: Plump your lips up with the venom of a vampire! Close your eyes, dream a little dream, click your heels together and say “there’s no place like Forks” and wait for the magic of the venom to turn you into an immortal. Then you and Edward can be together forever, cause we know that’s what you dream about. Seriously, we know. We watched the movie.

When are we gonna get a Jacob action figure? Or a temporary vampire bite tattoo? Or an official Charlie Swan stick on Mustache?

Would you buy any of this?
Themoonisdown

Don’t forget to vote in the Wanna Tappa Vampa (our fake sorority) and the Twi Sisterhood’s PORN OFF! EVERY VOTE COUNTS!! Yes we can!

Read our review of Rob in The Bad Mother’s Handbook at LTR
Chat about it in The Forum!

Nobody puts Bella in a corner

Dear LTT-ers

So the other night when I was browsing the super de dooper radical forum (the official name)  I came across a video that BLEW my mind. The lovely Calli had posted a fanmade video of Bella and Edward to “Hungry Eyes” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack! Behold…


Can you even believe how amazing this is?? So then jokingly I said, “Next you’re going to tell me there’s a video for ‘She’s like the Wind'” and wouldn’t you know it THERE IS ONE!!

SERIOUSLY?! These just might be the best fan videos every created!

I’m thinking maybe Stephenie Meyer should just rewrite Twilight and move the location to camp Kellerman instead of Forks and Bella comes there the summer before going to Mount Holyoak and Edward is the dance instructor with a shady past. Wait a second… this is almost the same story line…

Calli also told me to look closer at the rest of the soundtrack to see how well it lined up to the movie and it got me thinking… DUDE this could be like the ‘Dark side of the moon’/Wizard of Oz (Dark Side of the Rainbow) of our OUR generation! So next time I watch Twilight I’m going to invite some folks over, light some candles, put the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on repeat and hit play on the Twilight DVD and experience some Johnny and Baby + Bella and Edward magic! Who’s with me??

I carried a watermelon!
Themoonisdown

Check out Letters to Rob
and
The Forum!

Thanks Calli!

Pledging to LTT

Dear LTT Pledges,

The Twilight Sisterhood has been having pledge month this June & we thought of how amazing it would be if we did that here at LTT.

We’re pretty easy-going Sisters, and we only require one task from the following list of initiations to be achieved in order to be accepted into our sorority:

  • Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Yep, make him take off the monkey costume & run around nude with him

    Streak naked at a 100Monkey’s show and get Marty, the bananager, to join you. Yell “JASPER” at the top of your lungs the entire time.

  • Eat only Twilight conversation hearts for breakfast lunch and dinner ’till you’re rushed to the hospital with sudden onset diabetes.
  • Insist that all band aids you receive while AT the hospital be Hot Topic Twilight band aids.
  • Head on over to a neighboring sorority or frat and rip a tree (roots intact) out of the ground while screaming “AS IF YOU COULD FIGHT ME OFF.”
  • Act out chapter 32 of Wide Awake fan fiction with a male friend, at a church pot luck. In a park. Against a tree. (yep, it’s that chapter)
  • Read the mind of the hottest guy at work or school & write down his thoughts in Edward’s calligraphy (And if his thought happens to be “Be Safe”– you’ll get something extra special. Like Sam Bradley’s email address)
  • Run miles around a high school wearing a gray peacoat only stopping when you see a van approaching. Stop it with your hand, even if it’s just pulling into a parking spot, safely.
  • For extra credit, you & Kristen could also become the newest spokeswomen for PBR

    For extra credit, you & Kristen could also become the newest spokeswomen for PBR

    Invite & successfully get Kristen Stewart to join you at a Nascar race where you will ALSO need to have a mullet, like she currently has, and drink Pabst Blue Ribbons until you strip off your clothes and do a ho photoshoot on Dale Jr’s hood (that’s what she said).

  • Buy a Volvo. Drive from New York to Forks, WA in 12 hours or under while making home-made mushroom ravioli (I don’t wanna hear that this is impossible to do while driving. Figure it out)
  • Kill, filet & bread a mountain lion in Harry Clearwater’s famous fish fry (fine- if you can’t find Harry’s fish fry, you can use whatever your local market sells)
Good luck and may the best pledges win!
Love your favorite sisters,
UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown
Thanks to: Kristen, EastFriend, WestFriend & Moon, for without you I would have to stay up much later
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Name our sorority: We’re serious. We want a name for our sorority. Even though it’s kinda a pretend sorority. Who cares. Name contest happening NOW. Leave your ideas in the comments. Winner gets automatic entrance into this kinda fake, but sorta real sorority. And first crack at Rob at our first frat/sorority mixer.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
Introducing: Blurbs from the Forum topic Mods.
We had some weird forum issues this week. Kristin emailed and said this:
Good news is though, my whole gateway 504 issue is resolved! I was apparently riding the techno short bus…now I’m all up to speed and I even get to have recess with the normal kids! yay!
and Calliope, who apparently did not have the same “Gateway 504” issues with the forum said this:
this is me shaking my head up and down and smiling at you and pretending to have even the slightest effing clue as to what you are talking about while i’m mentally undressing rob.
a secret message about how rob will love you forever if you pick our name
What’s going on in our world? The following:
  • Rob has a question for us over on LTR
  • The Forum is buzzing with activity. Wanna see why? Check it
  • Follow us on Twitter & help us get to 2,000 followers this weekend!
  • Lauren from Lauren’s Bite is hosting a give-away. GO WIN
  • I have a wedgie so far up my butt I’m not sure it’s ever gonna come out (not true- just seeing if anyone reads this far…..crickets….)

2nd Hand Embarrassment – I Kissed Your Mom, Bella Swan

Dear LTT-ers

Wow just WOW there’s so much 2nd hand Embarrassment in this video I don’t know where to start. I just want to turn it off or look away but these videos are like car crashes you just can’t stop staring in horror at the tangled mess. First off I think someone owes Katy Perry an apology for totally screwing over her song “I Kissed A Girl” cause OF COURSE they changed it to “I Kissed Your Mom” with a Jacob and Bella theme and then added in all kinds of terrible fan art.
Witness the offenses…

fanartbellabike
Yes, if you couldn’t tell this toddler on a motorbike cruising her way through what is obviously Forks, Washington is supposed to be Bella. Nothing says MILF like a bug eyed-anime eyed kid on a Little Tykes trike.

creepyPSjacob
And OF COURSE what embarrassing picture video montage even remotely featuring Jacob is complete without this super creepy totally photoshopped picture. How long has this gross pic been floating around and people are STILL using it. Nice painted on wig, dude.

And I’ve saved the best part of the video for last…

jacobfanart
I don’t know about you all but this is totally how I pictured the imprinting scene going down, complete with heart eyeballs and wolftail! Seriously??!! Come on people! Actually this might belong in Monday Funnies.

Make it stop!!

I kissed your mom and I liked it, her cougar lips invited… her hungry eyes, her quivering thighs… (wtf!)
themoonisdown

Check out the rest of our 2nd hand embarrassment

Stuff Guys say about Twilight – Mutemath guy watches the DVD

dvdcoverDear LTT gals and the guys they make suffer through the movie…

You all remember Mutemathlover right? Well he’s back again. When he told me last week he was going to watch Twilight the movie over the weekend I told him he definitely had to tell me his thoughts after he’d seen it. So when I got to work Monday he was the first person to IM me with news about Twilight and I couldn’t wait to hear what he had to say cause you know when a guy talks about Twilight it’s gonna be good!

The things guys think about in relation to Twilight are stuff I’d never even begin to ponder… like how Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie felt when Bella showed up at the prom with Edward after she lied to them and said she was gonna be in Jacksonville. No lie, he thought about it… read on…

Or how a certain body part of Edward’s must be spring loaded… trust me read on…

I think secretly… deep down guys like talking about Twilight… Ok, ok maybe not, but I think they get a kick out of it occasionally…. especially when they know we’re gonna talk about them!

So read on dear Unicorns and gals who tolerate love them,
Themoonisdown

Mutemathlover watched Twilight

lapushmutemathlover: K, just watched twilight. here it goes:
mutemathlover: all in all, it was an entertaining movie
themoonisdown: yes
mutemathlover: ill tell u what i didnt like: the plot grew wayyyyyyy too fast
mutemathlover: it made it unbelieveable
mutemathlover: the gaysian was dumb
mutemathlover: the baseball part was just plain retarded
themoonisdown: HAHAHAHAHA gaysian. funny though lots of people like that vampire baseball thing
themoonisdown: and yes all your points are pretty much mine and most people who see it.
themoonisdown: it drags at the beginning and then it’s like WOAH! too much
mutemathlover: the one good vampire with short hair was poorly written
mutemathlover: u could never quite figure out if she had other motives
themoonisdown: alice? short hair future seeing one?
mutemathlover: yea
themoonisdown: it’s like with all things, if you read the book you’d know that she “knows” a lot of stuff about bella, she knows theyre going to be friends so shes already acting that way and unfortunately the viewers doesnt always know that
themoonisdown: big assumption huh!
mutemathlover: cause that didnt make sense

On the nomadic vampires…

more mutemathlover insights after the cut…

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