A Letter to Stephenie Meyer – Love, LTT

Sassy Steph

Sassy Steph

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Yesterday, while UC was working diligently, enriching people’s lives by conning them into buying overpriced hot tubs (fine-she wasn’t.. she was reading 750 updates in her google reader all related to Twilight- you caught her), and Moon was in her bed on the west coast dreaming of Edward, UC came across your latest website update. This line jumped out at her:

So that’s my “How I Spent My Summer.” I hope you guys had a really good time this summer, and found some great stuff of your own. I love this world full of stories and songs waiting to be discovered! And I also love you, the awesome Twilight (and maybe a few Hosts, too) fandom. I stalk your websites all the time—you guys are hilarious (I recently added LTT to my stalk list; thanks for the laugh lines, ladies). I’m looking forward to seeing some of you in November for a little movie release that I’m excited about. Too many months to go!

Um… you mean OUR LTT?! OUR LETTERS TO TWILIGHT?!

steph-hot

milfy Steph

After she stopped freaking out, read through the gazillion emails, twitter replies and texts she started receiving congratulating us on becoming “Goddesses'” (seriously, those words were used. And we’re not complaining- cuz we’ve thought of ourselves as  Goddesses for quite some time) she started texting Moon to wake her up from a dazzle induced coma to share the good news. At 630AM. Ahem. Moon has never jumped out of bed that quick and hit send on the phone. Poor UC had to hear her yell “SHUT UP” about 10 tens before we could properly discuss this turn of events.  After hanging up, Moon contemplated running a victory lap around her neighborhood shouting at the top of her lungs “WE HAVE ARRIVED,” but she got winded at the neighbors house and had to take a breather. So we reigned it in, cause we can’t be having a fangirl freak out too hard on a Monday morning. Especially on a day where we posted a comic about anal and a totally fake account of Moon being Rob’s fake fiance, in detail. Uh, WHOOPS! But such is life writing for LTT/LTR.

So of course what did we decide to do? What else?  We decided to pen a letter to you, of course, this is LETTERS to Twilight after all, welcoming you to our little world. We have the following things to say:

1. We hope you understand all the stuff we’ve written on here and we’re sorry. For everything we’ve ever said (except for all the stuff about Buttcrack Santa, cuz seriously? That shiz was messed up. Let us in on the secret, what was The Cougar Cathy drinking?) But seriously, we love this saga! Clearly.

2. We love you. But can we ask you one teeeeensy favor? Can you publish the rest of Midnight Sun, we’re kind of under a deadline for some New Years Resolutions we made… and there are people who want us to fail!

3. You need to pledge the LTT Sorority: Wanna Tapa Vampa! There’s nothing like running around a high school in a wool pea coat to show your true devotion. Yea, it’s summer in Phoenix, Moon knows all about that, but it’s gotta be easier than driving from NYC to Forks in a Volvo WHILE making homemade mushroom ravioli, right? We may have lost the “bake off” to the Sisterhood, but we’ll get em in the end!

4. Twilight Tattoos – We’ve got an appointment next week to get our matching tattoos inspired by Twilight and well, there’s always room for one more! Whattya say? Explaining to your husband why you have a Buttcrack Santa tribute tatt in your bicep or a Charlie Swan cop stache tatt on your finger is half the fun! Just tell him “That’s Normal!”

5. Can you introduce us to Rob? You know… cuz, he seems nice and all….

6. This doesn’t change a thing…. Sure, we may cringe a little more since we know you might read when we’re honest, in one of our Twilosophy sessions, about something you wrote, or when we complain about WHY in the world you didn’t hit a certain director over the head when she allowed the line “spider monkey” to infiltrate your beautiful story, but we’re not gonna stop saying it. We are who we are. We love the world you built in all it’s beauty and imperfections. And we’re gonna venture to guess that might be why you like reading us though.

Now that we have that out of the way, a belated Welcome to LTT!

By the way, how did you find us?

Welcome to our little corner of the Twi-world,
UnintendedChoice & Themoonisdown

Debunk Robsten with us at Letters to Rob
Wanna talk it out? Head over to the forum!

Since obviously the entire world needs to know SMeyer stalks US, we’ve decided to create a few new graphics that we’ll incorporate into our blog.  After the cut, take our poll & decide which one we should go with
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This is how you found us Vol. 5

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

f-a-k-e l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s

Dear LTT-ers and LTR-ers,

It’s been a while since we’ve had a “This is how you found us” post. Though I think after this last week, we just may know how a bunch of you found us, and WELCOME! But mostly people’s searches are getting to be a lot more boring, just the same ol Rob, Kristen, Jackson, Taylor and Kristen’s pregnant like a millions times. Come on, show us your creativity! But we’ve managed to pull together another stellar round of crazy searches for June and July!

For the uninitiated, WordPress (our blog program) allows you to see handy dandy stuff like numbers of visitors, which post is the most popular and what terms people searched for when they found our site. When we found this feature we would laugh so hard at some of the terms we knew we had to share them with you awesome readers! And thus this reoccurring blog post was born!

So here we go again…

  • click to enlarge and enjoy his true beauty

    I'm commissioning this as an Oil painting for my fire place

    Kristen i’m pregnant – Seriously, Kristen we don’t believe it. Stop trying to spread this rumor!

  • Oil painting in film ‘twilight’ – Dear god please tell me you’re not trying to create a Twilight oil painting… we have enough stuff in the Twilight Museum of crap Art!
  • Insane Twilight tattoos – oh you mean the back piece I got inked of the Forks, WA topographical map?
  • Win a day with Rob Pattinson – This whirlwind day of romance includes lunch at a vending machine, a 1 minute conversation about cheetos, 4 hours reading in silence at a Borders and culminates with him waving as you get into a cab at 6:20PM. ENTER HERE!!Follow the cut for more good times and crazy googles! Continue reading

Rachelle Lefevre out as Victoria and we want to know WHY?

rachellebluetopDear Summit-

We have one question for you: WHY?

We’ve never written you a letter before, but I think it’s time to break our silence. Now that we’ve read both the personal statement from Rachelle, your Press Release sighting “scheduling conflicts,” and now the 2nd press release sighting another film, we’d like to know the REAL REASON WHY the character of Victoria was recast. With only one film left to go in Victoria’s character arc, this is one of the biggest surprise moves you could have pulled (and at the 11th hour we might add.)

Now don’t immediately write us off as some simpering fansite looking for something to write about. We know the entertainment business is a fickle and mean bitch. Deals are created, moves are made, everything’s political, believe me: we KNOW! We both have worked and continue to work in entertainment and understand stuff happens schedules conflict, contract options don’t get picked up, and there are ALWAYS two sides to every story, but that’s not what happened here. It is clear from both your statement and Rachelle’s that she was screwed. She admits a scheduling conflict that you were trying to work through it and says she would have dropped the movie Barney’s Version if she had known her role as Victoria was going to be recast. So the question remains and we want to know, WHY?

Follow the cut to see our full letter and some of our guesses as to why…
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Storytime with Moon – Comic Con in review

Dear LTT-ers

As you all know Thursday I was able to attend the 2nd coming of Jesus, aka the New Moon panel at Comic Con and I have a little (ok, it’s quite long) story to share with you! So that means it’s story time with Moon!

Sit back relax grab your poison of choice (mine’s a diet coke as the CC folks learned) and let’s get to it!

XO
Moon

Once the news came out that there would in fact be a New Moon panel and presentation at Comic Con the California LTT/LTR gals KNEW we had to be there, come hell or high water. And trust, there was a lot of hell and a lot of high water. But finally tickets were secured and plans made for several groups of Cali gals to converge on Comic Con last Thursday…

Making up part of the LA/OC group Chelsea and I headed down to San Diego Wednesday afternoon to meet up with our SD gals to plot, plan and scheme how we would make this happen. By Wednesday morning there were already reports of 100-ish Twihards in line and by the time we reached San Diego that evening a reported 500 were now in line. So we jumped in the car with VickyB and headed down to scope out our competition…

hallhoutside
The sign pointed us towards heaven on earth

tentcity
An impromptu little tent city of Twihards set up on the outside of Hall H. Since we knew there was no point in waiting in line over night at this point and in all honesty we didn’t want to (we just wanted to be in the room not in the front row), we honked and continued on in search of food and good times

hustler
Since we were going to be seeing Rob the next day we first stopped off to get some slutty outfits for our Comic Con Preparedness Kits. No Cullen crest or Team Jacob shirts for us. It was hooker lucite heels, cootchie cutter shorts and whips that we were looking for!

Let me tell you the rest of the story… after the cut!
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STRIPWARD Lives

Dear Twilight,

I never thought writing a blog that obsessed over a young adult novel about vampires would one day lead me into a chat room where a man would strip while me and other fans of said novel and blog whistled, cat called and virtually shoved dollar bills into his pants. To say I am thankful and not sure how anyone could top this would be downplaying it.

All names and identities will remain concealed but he will forever be known as STRIPWARD!
stripchat01e
Shyly he introduced himself to us. We think he’s definitely Team Jacob.

stripchat02e
Not so shy after all!

stripchat03e

Then we moved to the interview portion of the show as we asked him questions pertaining to dumpsters, his stance on raybans and button flys and whether or not he should be wearing socks.

Somewhere, today, I’m sure Stripward is crying naked in the bathtub in the fetal position after meeting us but we love you and don’t feel wrong about something that feels so right!

Special thanks to all the ladies who shared this moment together! You know who you are and I love you!

Yes my friends it has been a remarkable week in my own personal Twilight world. Stay tuned on Monday I will bring you my Comic Con letter/review/general fangirlness!

Pour some sugar on him me!
Themoonisdown

PS He’s no StripWard but he’ll always be our RobWard… read a letter to our main man at Letters to Rob!

Chat over the weekend and order your own Stripward at The Forum!

Comic Con 2009 – Moon’s mini story

Dear Ltt-ers, Twihards, and Comic Con attendees-

It’s officially 130 in the am west coast we’ve been up since 6, we’ve seen Rob in the flesh, we died a little, we saw exclusive clips, we swooned, we thought “he’s only 17,” Kristen passed the dutchie on the left hand side and then the night ended on the highest of highs. Oh you don’t know? You must not be following us on Twitter…

So in lieu of a full recap (which I will do tomorrow) I’ll leave you with a little teaser and say how much the LTT/LTR Comic Con constituency appreciated your support, your news and your enthusiasm. We had a blast and wish we could have shared it with ALL OF YOU!

So without further adieu and before I pass out I give you…
 
A video is worth a thousand words…

Kristen talks about being Bella in New Moon

Watch out for that contact high 

The many faces of Rob in his new plaid shirt
 
Try not to die too hard at 1:00

Oh and here’s a little gift from me to you…
IMG_1546
You got it sister! 

So friends I’m off and I will be back very soon to give you the full scoop… until then don’t miss out on what we learned about Rob during Comic Con at Letters to Rob!

XO 
Themoonisdown

Discuss it all over at the forum!

Good Music and a Twilight Fan Video!

Dear LTT-ers and fanvid makers,

It’s not secret that we love a good fanmade video around here. I mean we have a whole category devoted to the great ones and the not so great ones. I think what I love most is the creativity they use in pulling together clips from other movies and video sources as well as music. Now it’s definitely not a secret that we love music around here too and nothing can turn us off of a fanvid faster than a bad song… so when I found these two videos I wanted to share them because not only are they awesome to watch they feature great songs that might not normally be most people first choice for a Twilight related song… So enjoy!


This video focuses on the Twilight story and uses one of my favorite songs: “Maps” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs


In this video they use the song “Colorblind” by the Counting Crows mixed with a cover of the same song by Natalie Walker to tell the New Moon story of Edward, Bella and Jacob. They use Steven Strait to play Jacob since there really still isn’t that much footage of Jacob/Taylor out there. Won’t we be glad when New Moon finally comes out?

UUUHHHggggHHH how long till New Moon again??

130 days till New Moon according to my daily visit to Twicrack to read the countdown clock to UC!

Happy Sunday and we’re only 130 days away!
Themoonisdown

Now run on over to Letters to Rob to check out our Sunday goodies
Chat it up and find a Twi-related event to go to at The Forum!

Everything I needed to know about life I learned from Twilight

twilight-book-coverDear Stephenie Meyer,

I’ve been apart of the Twilight fandom and reader of your saga for going on 9months now. Quite a short amount of time when you think about it and especially compared to some folks who have been around since the beginning. But 9months of living, breathing, reading and blogging about anything and everything, Twilight has show me quite a few things about life, stuff I can’t believe I didn’t know before all this and I’m sure you’ll agree…

  • If your boyfriend ever breaks up with you, getting lost in the woods is a good way to meet some of the local boys and perhaps Mr. Rebound will carry you home if you act ‘out of it’ enough
  • When you really need to know if your 17yr old crush exhibits characteristics of  a vampire, it’s totally ok to wait till you can get to a bookstore to buy a book about Native American Legends instead of googling it immediately
  • Fake, sexy vampires. Yes please

    Fake, sexy vampires. Yes please

    It is perfectly acceptable to expect to find a guy who is gorgeous, smart, rich, charming, has a 6 pack, desires you above anyone else, would die for you and doesn’t’ mind when you’re a whiny little bitch

  • If your crush shows you that his skin sparkles like diamonds in the sunlight, stick around! You definitely want to find out if he can uproot trees, hurl logs across fields and breathe you into submission with his ice cold breath
  • If a man named Rob Pattinson happens to show up in your life, dominates your thoughts, your time and your sanity, it’s perfectly normal to want to slap that grin off his face and then want to do naughty things to him in a busy intersection
  • It’s perfectly normal to expect your vampire boyfriend and your werewolf best friend to fight to the death on your behalf even when you can’t choose between them while leading them both on. It’s called chivalry after all
  • To be a true catch all you need is: rock hard abs, family of super hero quality people, immortality, a sister with the ability to see the future, a shiny silver volvo, and a wounded heart
  • jasperaliceIf you’ve ever thought the idea of doing it with a vampire is sexy and dangerous, it is. You will enjoy the sex. The sex will be more mind blowing than you can imagine. But the pain of a half-vampire child ripping it’s way out of your womb because you chose to have unprotected sex with said handsome vampire? Not worth it
  • When you go into labor with your unplanned, supernatural child, having your husband chew through your abdomen to deliver the monster baby is a viable delivery option
  • I can write something funny about ANYTHING vampire-related in 30 minutes at 2 in the morning
  • Meeting people off the internet with names like Mrs. P_ifurnastee,  Jaspergetsmeexcited and DrCullenatyourService and is a really safe idea!
    Wait. You're how old?

    Wait. You're how old?

  • If a man tries to manipulate your emotions, let him. He’s only using his special gift to make you feel better about yourself because your boyfriend is a flawless human specimen, his sister is quite possibly a former supermodel, treacherous rival vampires have made it their lifes mission to kill you and you’re an average human girl who’s clumsy and thinks sweatpants and holey tshirts are acceptable clothing options to take on a trip to Italy
  • Spending every evening online tweeting, posting in a forum and blogging about Vampires is good for your social life

So as you can see the keys to living a good life are found in your saga Stephenie! Did you know that? Between you and me I think you may be on to something. Who knows, this whole Twilight could really blow up some day!

Off to find a sparkly perfect boyfriend! Cause that’s totally possible!
Themoonisdown

Do what did you learn about life from Twilight?

Don’t miss out on Letters to Rob today!
Wanna chat more? Or read some new FanFic? Head over to the Forum!

Step right up to the Circus sideshow: Twilight Tattooed Freaks!

Dear Twi-hards,

Your enthusiasm, commitment and devotion to this saga continues to baffle and amaze me. Though I’m probably up there in terms of  enthusiasm, heck I blog about this EVERY day, I don’t know if my enthusiasm comes anywhere close to some fans I’ve seen. We all show our love for Twilight in different ways, passing the books on to a friend so they can become addicted (aka spreading the virus so you’re not alone!), creating your own New Moon trailer with your creepy husband while the cat wonders wtf is going on, or even getting a Twilight inspired tattoo. Now the Twi-tatt is by far the highest level of commitment out there and not for the faint of heart or SHY. I mean you’re going to be stuck with this thing for the rest of eternity and will forever be explaining why you have a tattoo of a shriveled up tulip on your boob of the face of a guy who kinda looks like Jimmy Neutron lost in the shire on your bicep.

The great thing about Twi-Tatts is that most will inevitably be some sort of embarrassing and if we’re (meaning those of us who love and make fun of the twi-dom on a daily basis) lucky; awesomely terrible! So in honor of Monday Funnies let’s take a gander at some Twi-tatts that somehow went very verrrry wrong.

The Cullen family crest- this is a big offender in my book because it’s not even official, it’s from the movie! That’d be like getting the quote “hold on tight spider monkey” or a portrait of Buttcrack Santa (my dream tatt).
cullencrestbackpiece
Grandma’s gonna be so confused when you get married… “but honey, I thought Steve’s last name was Steverson, not Cullen. Who is this Cullen boy?”

crestleg
Goes great with your Chico’s capris

Next up we have the popular quote-style tattoos where folks get their favorite passage tattooed on intimate body parts. With Stephenie Meyer being such a great writer I can see why you’d want those words around forever. Heh. Most people get the obvious stuff: “be safe” “and so the lion fell in love with the lamb” etc. If it was me I’d probably something like “I had an adrenaline rush, you can google it!” or my fave Carlisle quote: “Animal attack!” (RIP Grisham Mill Worker)

overkill
This is a classic case of I WANT IT ALL but I can’t decide so let’s just cram as much from the saga on my arms and see what happens. All we’re missing is a passage about the Spanish Influenza or a detailed description of Bella’s room.

newmoonbackpiece
Well if you’ve gone this far, why not a whole chapter?

tbonesteaktattoo
Now, while I love this quote and the sentiment, it looks like it’s been etched into a T-Bone steak or a leg of lamb not exactly what I’d call romantic, unless raw red meat is your thing.

Next let’s traipse into the logo/book cover area of the Twilight tattoos… and as much as I love the covers as the next person I’m pretty sure I don’t want some chess pieces on my body… besides I can’t even play chess!
treetrunk
Oh looks it’s a Twilight tree… let’s crack it open and count the rings.

tulipbesafe
In case you forget “Be Safe!” Oh and don’t forget to water your flowers, they start drooping if you don’t. FYI.

And now for the ultimate… the portrait tattoo… now anyone who knows tattoos know that portraits are the most difficult and need to be done by professionals… and well I’ll let you be the judge of these next few…

movieposter
I’ve always wanted a tattoo of a 12 yr old looking stuttering girl and an alien on my shoulder

And now for my favorite…
jimmnuetronintheshire
Jimmy Neutron Cullen, Hobbit from the Shire is your life now. If this was supposed to BE Robert Pattinson AS Edward Cullen than someone needs a refund. And laser removal surgery.

Now these folks are committed, there’s NO doubt about that… but what I really want to see is a Cora the waitress or a Solomon Trimble tattoo… now THAT’s devotion!

Off to get my LTT tattoo! Aka a Big Daddy Portrait!
Themoonisdown

Sources: Reader submitted pics, NewMoonMovie.org, Flickr, Google Image Search, Twilighters Anon

What is IT about Robert Pattinson? Watch us try to figure it out.
Dude, don’t let your fellow sisters in the LTT/LTR sorority down, read more and submit your Rob Porn!
As always up-to-the-minute good times and discussion over at The Forum!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to Rob and Twilight!

Dear Twi-Hards and LTT-ers –

A lot’s been said since yesterday about “Cab-gate 09”… which is what I’m now refering to the Rob was tapped by a cab incident that turned into the biggest non newstory, newstory to rock the Twi-world in… well… days. In a matter of minutes rumors were swirling, petitions were being signing, kidneys being donated and Obama issuing a statement. Well maybe it didn’t go that far, but folks did start up various campaigns and trending topics to get the word out about everything from: “Respect Rob’s Space” to “Protect Rob” which is all fine and well because crazies need to keep their distance from Rob.

But what really got me thinking was what about the other folks in the Twi-dom? What about the other actors? Their family? Their friends? Can we ask people to respect Rob but leave them out? Must we be forced to worry that Solomon Trimble will get mobbed at an Oregon Walmart while he’s buying some Alberto VO5 hot oil treatments for his luscious locks?!

NO! I simply will not stand for it! I MUST know that ALL people associated with Twilight are also respected. So to jump on the bandwagon I’ve created our very own LTT “Respect” campaign with an LTT twist, of course!

Won’t you join us?

Themoonisdown

respectcabbie
It’s easy to worry about Rob since he’s such a big celeb, but what about the “little people” in this scenario? What about the Cabbie? I say we need to respect the cabbie! Stop stepping out into the street with your big feet, umbrellas and security detail. This guy’s just trying to do his job ferrying people around the city and we’re getting in his way by hitting HIS cab with our hips. Respect the cabbie!

respectbuttcrack
Though Buttcrack Santa isn’t a canon character from the Twilight series, HE DIED! Respect him! He died for our laughs. He died for those little bottles. He died to have momma say didn’t know how to make a kitty meow! RESPECT BUTTCRACK SANTA!

respectbananager
What about Marty the Bananager for 100 Monkeys? We give him cheesy shirts to wear, don’t include him on our 100 Monkeys canvas totes, and grind with him on the dance floor. He’s a person too! Give Marty his personal space and save your sexy moves for his bandmates. They signed up for this, Marty is just doing his job and can’t be distracted by our beauty. Respect The Bananager!

respectbigdaddy
Taylor’s a level-headed 17 year old who seems to be enjoying the attention he’s getting by playing Jacob. My real concerns lie with Big Daddy Lautner. How’s he taking the fame? Is he still able to hit the McDee’s drive through at midnight for a late night Filet o Fish without getting mobbed? Respect Big Daddy!

respectmike
We all spend a lot of time pining for Rob and swooning over Kellan’s wifebeaters but what about the supporting actors? Have we devoted as much time to Mike Newton? Will we ever love his “golden retriever” like qualities enough to finally open letterstomikenewton.com? Will we ever post about his quest to save ladies boobs? Respect Mike Welch!

Read about the best real life Rob stalker and see the Rob’s new security at LTR
RESPECT The Forum!