Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

taylorsvdaykingandqueen

How ridiculously perfect is this picture?! Seriously!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon:
I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog
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That’s it! No more New Moon spoilers!

Twilight New Moon teaser movie posterDear Twilight,

That’s it! I’ve officially drawn the line in the sand. I will watch no more trailers, no more clips on entertainment shows, no more leaked footage on the interwebs. This entire week has been a spoiler lovers dream. And while I love a good trailer, that’s ALL I want is a trailer! Twilight (Summit) You have to make us WANT IT! Make us BEG for it… like a good junky.

Last Saturday I saw the special footage from the Scream Awards (all previously unseen footage), Monday, I watched Bella punch Paul on Access Hollywood, Tuesday I watched the ITunes special clip with the Taylor Lautner intro, Wednesday night I watched the “event” clip and about peed my pants, and then Thursday it was as if the gates to spoiler heaven broke loose with both a Volturi clip AND the much anticipated “break up” scene. I sat in the chair at the salon getting my hairs did watching all the tweets fly by, with people giving our links to the vids, and I was torn. Of course I want to watch it but I also don’t. YET. I called UC because I needed to know I wasn’t alone. And just like usual our heads were in the same place. She didn’t want to see it either. We asked each other at what point do you draw the line? We both want to have “that moment” in the theater on opening night. And we also have have the to remember we blog about Twilight so we have to remain on top of all the news and the new stuff that comes out but what will be left for us to see on November 20th if you keep releasing this stuff?

Savin' me some Jorts for November 20th

Savin' me some Jorts for November 20th

It feels kinda like opening your Christmas presents before the big day. I’ve always been one of those freaks who enjoys delayed gratification. Much to my parents delight I never went snooping, looking for Christmas or birthday gifts when I was younger or even now. What’s the point in knowing weeks in advance what you’re going to get? There’s something to be said for enjoying the anticipation leading up to the big reveal. After all what will be left if they keep releasing clips at this rate? The closing credits or Buttcrack Santa rising from the dead to seek revenge on the Nomadic Vampires (please, God let it be so!!)? Which by the way would be the best gift you could EVER give me and UC. Just sayin’.

So just stop it already!! No more clips, no more spoilers, no more nuttin’. Laugh in my face a week from now when I’m begging for it. That’s what she said! But I’ll thank you come midnight on November 20th.

Now if only I can find some sort of “Twilight Nicorette” to hold me off till the big day… Hmmm maybe I’ll reread the book!

A reformed junky,
Themoonisdown

So am I crazy? Does anyone else feel that way? Who’s decided to wait and can we be accountability partners? Kellan will supervise.

Get your next fix at The Forum
UC says something funny on LTR

Twilight at the Scream 09 Awards – a mind f*ck

This one's for the werewolves!!

This one's for the werewolves!!

Dear LTT-ers and people who like scary movies and watch stuff like the Scream Awards-

Ashley, Chelsea and I had the pleasure of attending the Scream awards last night at the Greek Theater wherein Twilight was nominated for like 8 bajillion awards and wherein apparently EVERY celeb feels like showing up to check out the freaks n geeks. Mostly freaks. And wherein we dressed up like Twilight characters. Yup.

Here’s our story…

Being the freaks we are and because we had to (audience members come in costume) we went for authentic Twilight, New Moon Costumes. Like seriously we analyzed each characters outfits and pulled together costumes down to the minute details. Here we are as Alice, Rosalie and Victoria (as seen in New Moon)

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Alice, Victoria and Rosalie giving our best bitch face

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Ok, maybe we're not so mean!

Follow the cut to hear the rest of our Scream Awards experience and to hear ALL about the new NM footage!
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How to Tweet, our letter to @Twilight

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Tweetin' n movie makin'

Dear @Twilight (the official Twilight Twitter account),

We gotta hand it to you, when you first launched the account yesterday you were off to a blazingly good start. I mean you did all the stuff you should: you had Chris Weitz submit the first tweet, kinda like breaking a bottle of champagne on the bow of a yacht… only this was more like breaking a bottle of Bud Light on a Ford Festiva, but I digress. Then he shilled out some tidbits like official run time and a news bit about the 1st scene being shown on ET next week. All stuff we didn’t know and loved to hear… But to be honest it reads A LOT like a corporate Twitter (HIT IT) and that’s just no good for us fans. While I understand the necessity of it being so-called “professional” may I suggest adding a little PIZAZZ to your tweets, you know just add a little life to what you’re saying… LTT style? We’ll even be so helpful as to rewrite your initial ones and instruct you on the various types of Tweets so you can just sub them out…

So to begin, (I need my laser pointer and Twilight “businessdocuments folder) there are 6 types of Tweets:

Types of tweets

  1. Informational
  2. Twitpic
  3. Exclusive
  4. Oh crap we’re in deep shiz
  5. Retweet
  6. Reply

The Informational tweet– involves relaying some type of message or link to information your followers might be interested in. These can be the most bland and probably need a little creative license to spice up… take for example:

Original:
From Chris Weitz – At sound mixing stage… introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble.4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

LTT-ed:
CDublious in da house @ sound stage introducing the werewolves. Trying to get the perfect bass rumble . Not that u will notice it next 2 their bare chests 4:06 PM Oct 12th from web

another example…

Original:
Kristen’s on the cover of Allure – http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz What do you think of her pics?about 5 hours ago from web

LTT-ed:
Our lead actress pontificates about stuff in a mag & makes us reconsider this casting 4 the umpteenth time. Check it http://tinyurl.com/yh6vkbz

Follow the cut to read our tips for @Twilight
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Losing our Twilight (movie) virginity

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Remember seeing this everywhere? (With the old release date!)

Dear Twilight,

There’s nothing like your first time. The nerves, the jitters, the excitement, that nauseous feeling in the pit of your stomach. And then it’s over and suddenly you know what everyone has been talking about. You are no longer a virgin. A Twilight Movie virgin, that is! What did you think I was talking about?

We’ve talked about our first everything’s on here… first time reading the books, first time seeing the NM trailer, first time seeing each other in years, there’s a first time for everything BUT we’ve never talked about the first time we saw the movie in the theater. And it just so happens the other day UC and I were having a conversation about just this subject and here’s what we had to say…

UC: In August after I finished the books I found out it was going to be made into a movie and i was PISSED that it was being made into a movie b/c i knew it would suck. I saw ‘that girl from that movie with adam brody’ and then Cedric as Edward and was like “what the?” i will NOT watch this.” but duh.. time went on
Moon: Hmmm Adam Brody… how about when you went and saw it?
UC: I found 4 random people to see the movie with and then had drinks at pf changs after and stayed quiet while they talked about how Edward was NOT cute enough and how cheesy it was and i just had this FEELING
Moon: (like the black eyed peas?)
UC: (yup, like that)

Follow the cut to read the rest of our first time
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IMMA WINNER!! Contest winners announced!

*EDIT: if we did not post your entry YET please don’t post it in the comments, we will be featuring entries ALL weekend! THX!*

Dear Imma Contest participants and LTT-ers,

UC: Remember last week when we announced that we’d be hosting a contest for our readers with awesome prizes from Bella Bejeweled?
Moon: Totes, I almost entered under my pseudonym: TheButtcrackisDown cause I wanted to be just like Alice and Bella and wear jewelery like theirs, but I figured you’d know it was me when that email came through. And I don’t lie so well- my non-poker face gives it away.
UC: Yea, you never did know how to make a kitty meow, but you love those little bottles.
Moon: Truth.
UC: ANYWAY all week we received a TON of entries on Twitter and to our email address from you funny gals making us both laugh till we cried and making it SO hard (that’s what she said) to pick only TWO winners so-
Moon: *grabs the mic keyboard out of UC’s hand* Hey, Sorry I gotta interrupt here! UC you’re a great blogger and winner announcer and all and imma let you finish but our readers are the best in the whole blogosphere and we need to reveal the winners right now!
UC: Ok, Ok… and the winners are:

Submitted via Twitter

Winner: @Chelseaheptig !!!!!
You slayed us with your use of the 100 Monkeys and the worst band in the world: Creed! You deserve a medal for bravery in laughs and some earplugs!

Submitted via Email

Winner: Beth!!!
You interrupted Martha Stewart to let her know she had nothing on Rob’s sewing skills. I mean after all he did resurrect both the old stoli shirt AND those heinous pants with probably nothing more than a hotel sewing kit. He should get a girlscout badge or something!

Congratulations Chelsea and Beth you gals are the winners of some beautiful jewelry courtesy of Bella Bejeweled!

Let’s give a HUGE round of applause to our winners and to ALL (there were a ton) the participants! And because there were SO many good entries we simply couldn’t NOT show you some of the best so this weekend we’ll be showcasing all our favorite entries… starting with the runner’s up. Follow the cut to see the one who ALMOST won

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Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Come on ride the Kellan train and ride it!

Dear Kellan-

Most people might not know but you were the very first person we ever wrote a letter to so you hold quite a special place in our hearts. But it seems as of lately Letters has been ruled by the holy trinity of: The Jailbait, the Sourpuss and the Holy Rob with little time left over for that hot brother. So since we declared yesterday Mike Newton Appreciation Day I’ve decided to declare today, a Sunday (of course!) Kellan Lutz Appreciation Day. I know a ton of our readers are HUGE Kellan fans and heck, we love your face and your love for life affirming literature too!

So let’s talk about the reason I heart you Kellan…

kellangetbitbyfankellanandfan

One of my favorite things about you is your ability to “whore yourself out” for lack of a better phrase and that means that you’ll show up to any Hotel Ballroom within the continental US if there’s a Twilight Convention banner hanging over head and then gladly pose for pictures with total whackos and cute girls for hours on end. And not just any pictures you really get into it with hugs and prom poses and kisses. I gotta say I love you for it cause not everyone would do it or even feel comfortable with that kind of attention. But like any good fame whore/teddy bear you man up and smile!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

You were in a Hinder video. While I can’t personally stand Hinder or music like this, it makes me smile to see you as the High School Jock cause it’s pretty much you playing yourself! All they needes to add was a Bible Study scene and this could be a video of your life circa early 2000’s.

Follow the cut to see what else we appreciate about Kellan!
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The Morning After – The MTV Video Music Awards

mtvmovieawardsDear LTT-ers

By now all the Diet Coke has been drunk, all the cupcakes consumed and all the screams have died down and what are we left with? Yup 66 days and counting till we finally get to see what we’ve all been waiting for New Moon the movie. And I think it would be an understatement to say I’m excited. I’m kinda really can’t even process all the moments but let’s try…

Red carpet madness:
Um since Rob and Kristen were too “busy” to walk the red carpet we will defer to Ashley who rocked the fashion correspondence and Taylor who KILLED it in a Calvin Klein suit. Sweet baby Jesus.

ashleyVMAs
Killing it in do me heels, black corseted top and “bump it.” Could have left grandma’s couch/gold lame skirt at home but hey you had me at “bump it.”

taylorredcarpet
Oh hai just stopping by before the big board meeting to show you what impeccable tailoring is.

Follow the cut for even more VMA crap… and an extra special gift…
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Holy jacked up New Moon poster, Batman

Dear New Moon movie poster designer,

I just saw the Edward/Bella version of the New Moon poster and I gotta say it’s kinda janky. So I gotta ask, was this a rush job? Gotta get something to print so Hot Topic and Walmart have shiz to sell to the tweens? That can really only be the answer because as you’ll see below I’ve broken down the poster from a designers perspective since I used to be one myself. Seriously, what’s with the size of Edward’s head, it’s like twice the size of Bella’s. I mean sure actors have big noggins but this looks either blown up way out of proportion to his body or you jacked this head from another picture and inserted it into this one because it worked better. Which is all fine and dandy but use the transform command a little more wisely next time and the rulers. You didn’t need to use a movie poster as your way of saying Rob/Edward has a huge ego! You could have left his fly down or something. Duh.

jackedupNewMoonPoster01

So since you may have copy and pasted a different head onto this body, why didn’t you just do the same with his hand? Cause as it stands he looks like he’s got “The Claw” happening, like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar. That was a comedy, this is not. Well at least I hope I’m not laughing for all the wrong reasons on November 20th.

And then lastly can we talk about doing a little research? Cause by definition “New Moon” is actually the absence of a moon or rather the inability to see one and yet there it is. In the background like some cheesy clip art you pulled from Microsoft Publisher 1995 and threw a drop shadow on.

Wasn’t Taylor lockjaw and Bella’s slutty shirt and Eddie’s van enough the first time around? I’m looking forward to what you have up your sleeve for Eclipse. Maybe a 10 foot Werewolf dismembering a newborn?

Ok so did I nerd out enough on this one? Did I lose you with all the design nerdery and most importantly am I the only one who noticed that?

Happy Sunday!
Themoonisdown

Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon:
ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 😦
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!
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