News Dump: All the Twilight News fit to print, Monkey smell, Bree’s back and bitchface

Turn off your smell-o-vision

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time again… tons of tid bits of interesting info but not enough time to write letters about it all. That means it’s time for a news dump. We’ll let you know what we think about the news and you decide from there if you care that much about 100 Monkeys or how Tyler Houseman’s promo shoot turned out.

• If these pictures had a scratch-n-sniff function this post about Jackson and 100 Monkeys playing at Bamboozle would smell like BO, ear hair, vomit, a melted Slurpee, an ash tray full of wet cigarettes, a used sweat towel from Jr High gym class, and melted Depp hair gel. Yup, EXACTLY what it would smell like.

• Bill Condon is announced as the director for Breaking Dawn. No word on whether it will be one or two movies or 3D or not lame but he writes fans a letter and does get a few things right, he addresses us all as twihards, Twilight fans and Twilight Moms. *RECORD SCRATCH* ummm… BILL? We’re gonna need to talk about this later

• David Slade got into the #goo stuff Monday night and tweeted till he got the munchies and left. IN THE FUTURE disable all communication devices before lighting up. Just ask La Stew.

Wait, she wrote a book about ME?!!

• You know that girl baby vamp that no one really care about, but is apparently a big enough deal that Stephenie decided to write a whole book about just her, while Midnight Sun remains unfinished? Yea there’s a new picture of her as Bree.

• Probably one of the causes of Slade’s online hissy fit, Lainey Gossip posted lots and lots of gossip and speculation about what REALLY went on behind the scenes of the Eclipse reshoots or as officials are calling them “pick ups.” Personally, I’d like to think the cause of all the hub-bub is actually because of the helicopters Punk’d Images hired to get these grainy ass photos of Bella and Jacob out on a dock somewhere… speaking of wasn’t I just talking about Vancouver and docks?

• The New York City paparazzi show us that they’re big fans off LTT by yelling the most amazing comment ever at Kristen while on the Met Gala red carpet… witness and then crazy Krisbians you can yell at me in the comments

We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether that’s a curtain or a table cloth around the bottom of her dress

Biiiiiitch please, I gotta tattoo

• Promo shots for Eclipse are starting to circulate around the nets of The Cullens, The Holy Trinity and The Wolfpack. For what it’s worthy Leah has the best bitchface and rack hands down.

• NOKIA Theater was announced as the place for the Eclipse premiere, and then it wasn’t and then everyone was confused. And then it was back at Grauman’s Chinese Theater like it was supposed to be all along.

• Robert Pattinson still loves to choke a bitch out. And wear incredibly tight, ball hugging, high waisted pants. We love it. We don’t.

Yup, that’s the news… I’m still thinking about Bree and being called a Twi-hard by Bill Condon…

IN THE FUTURE the news will be beamed to our brains. THE FUTURE IS NOW!
Themoonisdown

So what do you think about Leah’s bitchface? Amazing, right? And her hot ass tatt. Has anyone gone to a recent 100 Monkeys concert? Did I get the smell right? It’s been quite a while for me.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

Will Bill Condon direct Breaking Dawn, The Musical? I sure hope so!

If you only knew...

Dear Bill Condon,

Oh Bill Condon… oh Bill, Bill, Bill… if you only knew what you were getting yourself into… alas that is a letter for another day. We have more pressing matters to discuss today…

Of all the rumored directors being vetted for Breaking Dawn: Gus van Sant, Sofia Coppola, Fernando Meirelles and a few others your name seems to just keep coming up. Especially yesterday when we learned that you may be in talks/negotiations to direct BD. And I gotta say I’m super excited! For the general public they probably best know you from your film adaptations of the musicals Chicago and Dreamgirls*. As a HUGE nerd fan of musicals this has my head spinning. Because I’m sure, like me, there are tons of people out there thinking Breaking Dawn will be turned into a musical. A musical version of Breaking Dawn? YES PLEASE!!! Just imagine it…

We open with a wide shot of Forks with an incoming rain storm in the background. Charlie slowly drives the streets in his cop car singing a  “Patrolling in the Rain” type of song under his breath. Then the skies open up and it begins raining. Raining glitter, of course.

glitter, lots and lots of glitter!

Then we catch up with Bella singing about that dumb ol car as she gases up the Mercedes Guardian at the gas station and then uses the gas pump as a prop jump rope and sings “Only a Human, not yet a Vampire” as a man taps dances around the car inspecting it.

Later on we have the wedding scene which I imagine as a sort of Guys and Dolls Nathan and Adelaide getting married scene only set in the Cullens backyard while we cut to shots of Jacob running through the forest singing “Get me to the church Cullens on time.”

Then to celebrate their marriage we have a huge ensemble number, a re-imaging of “We’ve only just begun” with the Cullen family, Wolfpacks, humans, townspeople raising closed umbrella’s for them to walk through and then as they leave for the honeymoon, instead of throwing birdseed or rose petals the guests throw, what else? Glitter!

In honor of Stephenie Meyer’s ultimate cockblock, for the honeymoon  scene instead of fading to black the musical version of Breaking Dawn will have something very similar to “Contact” by Angel in Rent, where we don’t actually really see anything go down but we know it’s a big metaphor for sex. Yup, Stephenie you will still have your fade to black in the end.

Yup, twihards made this Bill. GET READY

Bella giving birth closes the first act . I imagine this like the scene (I think, theater nerds help me out) in Carousel when Billy is stabbed and instead of it being literally blood spurting, instead a red sheet slowly gets pulled out to symbolize her bleeding to death as Edward holds up Reneesme all Rafiki-holds-Simba-up-in-Lion-King like and then hands her to Rosalie as he launches into a gut wrenching soliloquy about possibly losing Bella all while Jacob cowers in the corner singing to himself quietly.

End of Act 1

Follow the cut to see what I dream up for Act 2, it’s a real show stopper, trust me

The one where Cathy the Cougar gets a love letter

Moon & I bet on what New Moon would make domestically its first weekend. I guessed low hoping I’d win by default because Moon guessed too high, but she schooled me. She guessed 140.1 million and it brought in 142.8 million. Amazing. I wish she’d be right when I ask her to guess Rob’s jitterbug phone number. My punishment for losing? Love letter to the Cougar:

Got my hair cut at the SuperCuts next to the TGIFridays

Dear Cathy the Cougar,

Every time I write that- Cathy the Cougar- I think of Tony the Tiger. And me and Tony had some good times when I was growing up- well, until I realized that if I kept inhaling multiple bowls of him every day, I’d end up with hips like my Great Aunt Jane. I haven’t seen Tony in a few years….That’s pretty radical.

So I’m supposed to be writing you a love letter, but this is quite the difficult task because for the past few months we’ve called you all sorts of special names we made up just for you and said some things some would consider not so nice. We’re honest girls, though, and I’m not here to apologize for what we felt had to be said. In order to get me into the mindset of “Cathy the Cougar love,” I asked around on Twitter to see what others would say to you if they had the chance. Some would thank you for foreseeing the potential in Taylor’s abs, therefore boosting the economy in Georgia. There’s mixed feelings on the brutal slaughter of yet another one of Charlie’s friends. While on one hand we love the introduction of Buttcrack Santa into the story (for all the obvious reasons such as those little bottles, the song about kitties and the image forever imprinted in our minds of an old, creepy man’s buttcrack hanging out while driving around in one of those rape vans, wearing a santa hat), we hate that he had to be killed off. Such a lovable character gone- forever…Many twitterers were thankful you did such a lousy job with Twilight because it really makes Chris Wetiz’ work, which might otherwise be considered sub-par, really stand out as a beautiful work of art.  Most regard your casting Kristen as Bella as your biggest feat, but only because she fought for the casting of Rob Pattinson. Awesome

What’s a DILF? Chris Weitz knows!

Dear Chris Weitz,

There’s probably more we want to tell you than any letter here could ever contain about how much we love you for New Moon and finally giving the fandom a film version worthy of the saga. While watching New Moon Thursday night it all finally clicked into place that there was one HUGE difference between the Twilight movie and New Moon movie and that is YOU! Yes, you!

Our pal Jen from MyRobPattinson was lucky enough to get to be on the red carpet as the stars walked by. She got to see Kellan and Taylor and Kristen and those volturi dudes and some wolves and that guy named Rob but most importantly she got to see YOU and ask you a few of the most important questions in the world… you know stuff like what was with those orange pants at the London premiere and if you knew what a “DILF” was and since you directed the American Pie series which pretty much originated the term “MILF” I think you do! And here’s your answer……….

Oh you shudder to think! HA!

Hearts your face,
Moon

Video: Thanks Jen!! Visit her site: My Robert Pattinson

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

The rest of the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and my thoughts!

Worst picture of Death Cab ever. Billboard Cover fail!

Dear LTT-ers and music nerds,

I shared with you last week that I attended the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference and gave you all the dirty details on my brief encounter with my favorite man ever, Chris Weitz, but what else happened? I also sat in on the “Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon” panel and though I didn’t get any one-on-one time with soundtrack Music Supervisor, Alexandra Patsavas I did take copious amounts of notes, 15ish pages  in fact, so how about I break it down a bit for you? (My snark in italics for your enjoyment)

Anatomy of a Soundtrack: Twilight, New Moon

• Making the Twilight soundtracks were easier because Stephenie is an author that already had a clear vision and sound for her books from what she provided and talked about on her website. Music is a centerpiece to her stories. They wanted the soundtrack to be a musical manifestation of the movie and Stephenie’s story

• Chris had a clear point of view about the music he wanted in New Moon: somber
  (and appropriate for denim cut-offs and sleep number beds)

• 

  Alexandra hard at work creating the soundtrack aka reading Domward Fanfic

  Chop Shop/Alexandra began working on New Moon last December and were approached by countless bands and managers who wanted to be on the soundtrack. They picked artists who wanted to be part of the team , provide solely exclusive material and weren’t afraid to talk about the movie. It was all about cohesion and the artists they ended up choosing, in their minds, could all play a festival bill together.
  (a festival of wrist slashing music! my favorite! bandaids not included)

• New Moon is the first movie Alex has worked on that was a sequel

• They had what Alex called an “embarrassment of riches” when it came to options and artists to choose from for the NM Soundtrack. So many more than they could include. Almost 20 cd’s worth of material

• Chris invited 6-7 potentials artists into the cutting room to show them cuts of the movie, spend time with the artists talking about tone and feeling from the scenes and what he was looking for musically. He took the time because he wanted the right songs. That is why everything fits so well according to Alexandra, the Atlantic VP and Paul Katz (Summit)

Read more about the Soundtrack panel including info on Remember Me AND stuff about Rob and his Music as well as more tid bits from Chris Weitz and Alexandre Desplat’s panel after the cut!

Meeting Chris Weitz at the Billboard Film and TV Music Conference

Oh myello there Chris and Alexandre! Even this lady couldn't contain herself!

Dear LTT-ers/nmm.org-ers (that’s your new name!) and Chris Weitz fans (which should be everyone),

Today was a mindgasm, red letter day in the life of me, your faithful blogger: Moon. As both a Twilight fan, music fan and aspiring music supervisor, I was able to attend the Billboard Film and TV Music conference in Beverly Hills to cover to events for both us and our awesome super special friend and affiliate Will at NewMoonMovie.org who secured our entrance into the event. The conference featured two Twilight New Moon themed panels. One discussing the soundtrack success featuring New Moon soundtrack music supervisor Alex Patsavas, a VP from Atlantic Records and Paul Katz, music consultant and uppity up at Summit Entertainment.

The other New Moon themed panel was “A Conversation with a Director and Composer” featuring Chris Weitz and Alexandre Desplat who discussed New Moon and its score and music for a hour. Now, this was some hardcore discussion regarding the composition of the score, influences how they began the process, etc. It was NOT a panel where they discussed Robsten or anything about the actors other than what pertained to the topic of the New Moon score.

I’ll be writing a more in depth post in the next few days reviewing both panels in more depth but for today I’ll give you a quick overview of some juicy tidbits from Chris’s panel and what WE (yes WE I met the man himself talked about after the panel) chatted about. Hang on kiddies, we’ll get there but first some of what Chris and Alexandre discussed:

• There were themes (musical) created for for each character. IE one for Bella, one for Bella and Edward, one for Jacob

• To reflect the confusion in Bella’s mind after Edward leaves, at times the “Edward” and “Jacob” themes are “blurred” together to help created “subliminal confusion” in her mind

• Jacob’s “theme” features electric guitar. Alexandre used a guitar that sounded very similar to an Indian sitar and Chris jokingly reminded him that Jacob is Native (Indian) American not Indian from India

• The score will not featuring any of Carter Burwell’s score. (I’ll expound more on this decision in a later post)

• And the most important info: Chris wore a lot of olive and tan. He was in full on DILF mode with cargo pants, striped socks (i love a good sock!), some sort of olive sweater and a leather man purse. Work it Chris, WORK IT!

Ok, so here’s the part you all want to read MY CHRIS WEITZ ENCOUNTER (that didn’t take place in my dreams):
FOLLOW THE CUT (moohahahaa)

Chris Weitz “Gets It” with New Moon

Weird ass illustration of Chris Weitz doing "tune in Tokyo" on the Hollywood Reporter

Dear Chris Weitz,

I’ve always thought you were a great choice to direct New Moon ever since you wrote a letter to the fans back in December and promised that you would remain true to the spirit of the book. I’ve loved you since we saw the very first mini trailer on the MTV Movie Awards and we all screamed with delight seeing Jacob phase for the first time. And you wormed your way into my heart at the New Moon Comic Con panel in July when you spoke candidly about how making this film restored your love of movie making. But today you cemented your place in my cold, dead heart after I read your interview with the Hollywood Reporter by speaking so eloquently and intelligently about the making of New Moon, it’s story line, your relationship with Stephenie Meyer and really just “getting” the storyline and how it’s different from Twilight.

When asked about your relationship with Stephenie Meyer you said “We got along like a house on fire.” Now you’re speaking my language! I love a good idiom and anything involving information about our goddess divine the lovely Stephenie. I loved reading that you collaborated on ideas and deferred to her when you weren’t sure how a visual should play out on screen. It shows your humility and desire to bring the fans and the author herself the best and most true to form version of Stephenie’s story.

Read more after the cut

Breaking down the REST of the LA Times pics – Nude Moon

Dear LA Times-

You might have heard (yes, you read us cause we’re serious journalists like you) that we broke down the pictures from your Hollywood Backlot series of New Moon pictures on Letters to Rob yesterday. And since they were so good we didn’t make it through all of them, so we’re back today to finish what we started cause we have mad follow through. Sometimes. And because well we like being discussing anything Twilight and seeing how random it can get.

Enjoy…

Themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

Miss the first half of the break down yesterday? Catch up here!

*Warning some of this isn’t for the faint of heart… or prudish*

Dear Cathy, lose my number. Thx, Chris

Am I really the Director?

Moon: so this might be my favorite pic. He looks like his has old man bushy brows and hes SOOO playing with the ifart app on his iphone
UC: what do you FEEL when you see it?
Moon: i feel like i want to hug this picture, i hope he doesnt let me down in November! NO pressure chris (since you’re obvs reading this)
UC: I think that’s what he’s thinking “what the F did i get myself into?’ NO one warned me about the fasting & the praying
Moon: or the virgin sacrifices!

C
C
Animal Sacrifices

How do I put this thing on?

UC: JAKE?
Moon: OMG this one is my favorite. Such a WTF kind of picture. Just makes you wonder what poor PA (production assistant) has to put that thing on and get on all fours while they line up shots
UC: that dude needs a raise
Moon: maybe animal sacrifices are part of the fasting and praying they’re been doing and this is the evidence to show her holiness (stephenie)
UC: clearly. sick to the nast
Moon: wolves, virgins and PA’s died in the making of this film
UC: and so did a lot of cod. they were method acting and had a lot of fish fry
Moon: god its so creepy… it’s eyes are following me

Follow the cut to read the rest

The New Moon Soundtrack, preview and speculation

Dear LTT-ers and music nerds alike,

Yesteryday’s the day I had been waiting for with baited breath… the Soundtrack track listing for New Moon was released. Would Alexandra Patsavas, Chris Weitz and team knock New Moon’s soundtrack out of the park this time? Would they avoid the pitfalls of the Twilight soundtrack? Mainly the inclusion of shiz like Collective Soul and Perry Ferrell? Well we still have a little bit longer to find out since the soundtrack itself isn’t released till October 20th and the ultimate test: the movie isn’t released till November 20th, but for now we have a track listing that looks SOLID. And like any good music nerd, I’m here to break it down for you, introduce some of these artists and also learn a bit about the ones I’m not familiar with.

Hold on tight you little creep!

As explained on Stephenie Meyer’s website as well as the super awesome New Moon Soundtrack site “…all of the music is original, and exclusive to the soundtrack.” Though I have to point out that Muse song was released on their latest album The Resistance, but according to them they were asked by Chris Weitz to cut a different version of the song. All that to say not only is it exciting that we’ll be hearing all (almost) new music but how telling is it that this saga can get TOP artists like Thom freaking York to cut all new music for it?! That’s called pull and this saga’s got it.

Anyway, on to the track listing…

01. DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE — MEET ME ON THE EQUINOX

I really love the line “Oh darling understand, that everything ends…” which works so well with the themes of New Moon. Bella learns that nothing is forever and that as much as she thought she’d be with Edward forever, it wasn’t meant to be. Little does she know! I can almost seeing this being a song from Jacob’s perspective, not only did we learn Chris Walla is SO Team Jacob the lyrics have so much longing, so much want. Wanting to be that person for her but needing her to meet him halfway. Hmmm love to ponder the lyrics, my friends!

Get your coffee and follow the cut as we jump into the rest of the tracklisting…

Speculation Thursday – Moon makes the case for Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart: NOT together!

We're actors

Dear Kristen and Rob-

Last week my pal UC put on a brave face, sucked up her pride and posted the Speculation Thursday (though it was on Wednesday) post that she thought you may be together. As much as it pained both of us to see that in writing, we had to present the Pro Robsten side of the argument. But never fear, I am here with this week’s Speculation Thursday (on Thursday!) where I’m going to present the Non Robsten side! Cause I look at you two and I’m like, they CANNOT be together, the stoner and the nerd? No way.

If you’ll indulge me I’d like to treat this as a trial, and court is now in session*! The honorable Stephenie Meyer proceeding. Today we will be hearing the case of:

Robsten vs NonRobsten, in the court of public opinion

Opening statement:
Much has been said and speculated about you two over the last few weeks and now having some time to gather evidence and look at the facts I think we can be certain about a few things: Kristen and Oregano are not together and Kristen and Rob are in fact, NOT together. Snogged and hooked up? Sure! But together? No! I ask that the jury keep an open mind as we speculate our way through another Thursday.

Enter into the court room the Evidence…

We're doing each other behind this door!

01. The Charlie Hotel / The Morning After – UC cited this story and these pictures as her main turning point. But I have a different take on this much bally-hooed “secret goodbye photos” and “secret rendezvous hotel bungalows” nonsense… I did some research too on The Charlie and there are multiple bungalows in which bungalows also have multiple rooms! Amazing how this works, huh? It’s not uncommon for stars to get ready for awards shows in hotel rooms, Summit’s footing the bill, why not? And you’ve got the room paid for for the night, might as well come back and party after the show, right? I know where you’re going to go with this: “but Moon they were in the SAME bungalow! Ron, the underpaid dude at the front desk, told the shady paparazzo from X17 who palmed him a 50 it was true.” Riiiight. And, if I even believe that they were in the same bungalow, my research tells me that again, SURPRISE, there are bungalows with more than one room in them. I’ve stayed in rooms with guy friends, it’s totally possible. And who knows maybe she was wasted drunk from the dinner beforehand when they decided to go back and party? Maybe they smoked a bol and she passed out on that cute striped chair from the pictures of The Charlie. And then the next day her Mom came to pick up her hung over self and hug Rob for being such a good guy and looking out for poor little Kristen. And no kiss was ever photographed.

Follow the cut to hear the rest of the case!!! (Seriously do it!)