Thankfulness oozes from our LTT pores

Dear Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, Chris Weitz, Chris Hansen and everyone else that falls under those 5 titles,

Continuing with our weekend of thanks (aka Moon & UC take a break from blogging due to the pie-coma we’ve been in since Thursday), we opened it up to our readers to share what they are thankful to YOU for in the Twi-world!

Kristin, forum mod, incredible friend and list maker extraordinaire, kicks us off with a sappy, funny, THOROUGH list of thankfulness!

Just wait till you see the hand signals people give you if you leave out the leg hitch

  • I am thankful that Crazy Cathy is a cougar, without her prowess for Rob, we wouldn’t have gotten to see him come to life as Edward Cullen.
  • I am thankful for DVD commentary, without that I wouldn’t have the pleasure of hearing “cheeseburgahs!”, “super human moron” and “there’s always something suspect about a guy who plucks his eyebrows”.
  • I am thankful for DVD’s in general when it comes time to fast forward through Kristen/Bella stuttering in the hospital bed.
  • I’m thankful that Stephanie Meyer had a dream. A dream about a meadow that has changed mine and countless other womens perspective on what  constitutes the perfect man. However I am not thankful for repetitive use of the word “chagrin”.
  • I am thankful for the leg hitch. David Slade, so help me God, that leg hitch better be in there.
  • I shall give thanks to the man who restored my faith in the movies, Chris Wietz. I am so thankful for him, I would iron those mustard colored pants even. Lets try and remain proper, but there are many ways I would like to show just how thankful I am.
  • Also thankful for Michael Sheen and Tweed. (say that last part very seriously)
  • I am thankful that I while I am a mother and I love the Twilight Saga, I am not a twi-mom.
  • I’m thankful that there is a forum, about twilight, that I moderate. Never thought in my life, those 3 things would be together in a sentence.
  • I am thankful that I don’t go one day without thinking about Rob/Twilight/New Moon/LTT/LTR, they are my life now.
  • (here comes LOTS of cheese) I am thankful that I have met people who will be my friends for life, all because of twilight. People I have met and will meet, that are so fabulous, it makes me sad to think I wouldn’t know them if I had just blown off this stupid “vampire book”.

The Twitters were abuzz with thankfulness

Random_Brunette i am thankful for Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone,Chris Weitz,ShirtFree-ness & Heineken,amen 😉

RobwardisSEXX I’m thankful for Rob always having the right amount of scruff on his gorgeous face. & 4 s.meyer’s creations.God bless her.

PhyllmeupRob Im thankful that Rob and Twilight reminded me 2 act young & really feel lifes emotions again without guilt. Cheesy enough?

Follow the cut for so much more thankfulness that you’ll wish you were back in your pie-coma Continue reading

Thankful for David Slade (hopefully)

Dear David Slade,

I was asked to write a letter about what I’m thankful for this Twi-giving—I mean, Thanksgiving.  I couldn’t think of anything.  I mean, I’m grateful for the usual stuff like having a house to live in and not being dead from some horrible disease.  But relative to Twilight, I’ve got nothing left to say that hasn’t been said before.

So instead, I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt that you’re going to deliver an incredible movie with Eclipse.  In advance, I thank you for the following:

This is all I ask...

The Leg Hitch.
I know you already have this “in the can”.  If Jesus loves me, and the song tells me He does, you spent six weeks of your filming schedule on the leg hitch alone.  Like those action movies where they show the car exploding from eight points of view, so should you show the Hitch from every possible vantage point.  Front angles, back angles, aerial views, slo-mo, hidden cameras in the inseam of Bella’s pajama pants–I want it all.  Also, sound effects are pivotal here.  No music (unless you can convince Tom Jones to let you use “You Can Leave Your Hat On”—that would be epic).  Only the sound of fabric-on-fabric as Edward slides Bella’s leg over his hip.  I know you won’t let me down.  So thank you for that.

Please, God. No

The Ring.
Edward’s mother’s ring.  The one he guilts Bella into letting him give her.  You’re not cheaping out on this one, are you?  Because you know that Hot Topic is going to sell a replica of it, and you know that I’m going to buy it and wear it around just like I had good sense.  So you hired a real jeweler to create the most stunning engagement ring, and you didn’t pay any attention to the way Stephenie Meyer described it, because it sounds god-awful big and tacky in the book.  You did these things because you love me, and because I’m faithful enough to thank you in advance, and because you don’t want to see eight million shoddy imitations of an ugly ring at the premiere.  I know you did.  Thank you.

Why aren't my camping trips like this?

The Tent Scene.
I want to know what EXACTLY Edward is seeing in Jacob’s mind during the tent scene. I don’t care if it appears in a poorly superimposed thought bubble above Taylor’s head, so long as I see Jacob doing all the freaky stuff he wants to do to/with Bella. You’ve certainly filmed this in glorious detail, you dirty, tiny man. I appreciate it.

The Soundtrack.
I know you’ve already got a message in with Tom Jones’ people about “You Can Leave Your Hat On”, but I’m hoping you’re working on getting rights to “I Touch Myself” by the Divinyls for that non-canon “Edward alone in his room” scene you filmed.  Also, we haven’t gotten any decent rap songs with the franchise, and I heard 50 Cent say he was a fan.  You’ve taken advantage of this to get Fiddy to do a cameo as the entertainment Alice hired for the graduation party, haven’t you?  You’re the tops.

So, Dave, you have a pair of giant yellow pants to fill now that we’ve seen the DILF’s New Moon. Today I’ve given you preemptive thanks, which will be revoked immediately upon a poorly delivered leg hitch, a detail free tent scene, a gaudy ring or a boring soundtrack.  Don’t make me hunt you down in June.

Gratefully,

Tiffanized

P.S. Seriously, though, I’m thankful for Moon and UC, who, despite presumably having real jobs and living three thousand miles apart, manage to seamlessly bring us Twilight-related content with heaping side dishes of snark every day.  Even Sunday.  I’ll admit to being so lazy I don’t even read on the weekends.  Anyway, I’m not just saying this because I’m three days late handing in this assignment.  Without Bunny and Noreen I’d be on some other Twi-site, in a sea of Twimoms and squealing fourteen-year-olds, with the WordPress user name “Mrs. Cullen”, posting comments like, “ZOMG Rob is so HAWT ZOMG I want to marry him and have all his babies.”  Actually, I think I’ve made that exact comment on here before, so nix that.  The point is, Moon and UC make me work for it, make me laugh, and generally make me feel normal.  Thank you ladies.

Tiffanized- we love you. And you brought tears to my eyes. First from laughter and then from sappy feelings. It might be the anticipation of the pie I can smell in the other room though, so don’t get too big of a head. 🙂 We love you. And are thankful that YOU are a part of our community! XO

Member we’re busy with holiday stuff this weekend so patience getting comments approved! In the meantime:
Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

New Level of dedication: Twilight Flow Chart

Dear Twilight,

Yesterday, UC and I were having a discussion about the Wolfpack ladies. UC kept confusing Tinsel Korey with Julia Jones and I was kept confusing Julia Jones with January Jones who she most certainly isn’t and it became clear: We needed a flow cart to remember all these new folks and how they’re all connected in the Twilight world. So I set out to create a master flow chart and as the day wore on (and on) and I remembered more and more connections and it become more of a circle flow chart, cause just like Rafiki tells us: it’s the circle of life and it moves us all.

And what came out looks a lot like a grade school project… next up book reports and a diorama of Bella’s room in a shoe box.

Yea, this is what you do with your spare time when you’re a Twilight blogger.

Twilight Dork of the Day Award Recipient/Life Time Achievement Nominee,
Themoonisdown

Enjoy this cause it took for darn near ever. Oh and click on it to open in a new window, cause it’s HUGE!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Clicky to enlarge and be amazed at my time wasting!

Um yea! If I missed anything TOO BAD! hahaha

Go enjoy a letter to Rob that rules!
Talk about this level or nerdiness in the forum!

Take the cut to see a special treat
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David Slade turns 40 and STILL can’t believe he’s directing a teenage love story

Dear David Slade,

Happy 40th birthday!  Do you feel any different today? Any taller? What a great way to be celebrating your 40th birthday- directing a movie you said you’d rather be shot at gun point than SEE, let alone direct.

sladebday

One day I'll be "this tall"

We hope that you have the bestest of 40th birthdays. We hope Cathy the Cougar leaves you alone today and stops calling to tell you she just wants to “pinch your widdle cheeks & give you a widdle hug.” We hope Jackson & the 100 monkeys write an impromptu song just for you about birthdays, vampires & a little angry British man. We hope you’re showered today with LOTS of twilight-themed gifts as the cast & crew poke fun of how you once said you hated Twilight and now how you’re getting paid by directing it. We hope Tom Cruise calls you with his secret tips on looking taller, and we really really hope there’s a leg hitch in Eclipse (or else).

I have to be honest. Moon & I completely forgot your birthday. It’s to be expected since I never think about you and up until this week was still calling you “David Spade.” But thankfully we have readers who keep “David Slade” calenders and stuff and remind us of such important dates. That blessed reader, today, was TeamSeth (who would like to add this: “I wanted to clear up that while I go by TeamSeth, I’m not a pedophile and do not find BooBoo attractive. I mean he’s cute for like my ten year old brother (what is he 14? 15?), but um, he’s also you know, a decade younger than me.  Does he not scream Jonas Brothers and Bop Magazine?  Yick.”)

Since we don’t talk about you much, I wanted to share some tidbits about you for our readers.
Fun Facts about David Spade:

  • Suffers from hypoglycemia.
  • Has been commercial spokesman for Sierra Mist soda and Capital One credit cards.
  • He was so smart in 3rd grade he got moved up to the 4th grade for some of his classes.
  • Was one of the guests at Lindsay Lohan’s 19th birthday party. (don’t tell Cathy the Cougar)

Since I’m an idiot, TeamSeth did some light google research for us about David Slade to help celebrate your birthday:
Fun Facts about David Slade:

  • David is known for his non-stop camera movement and shooting in dim lit settings.
  • He has a dachshund named Django (that is almost as big as he is)
  • 95%* of the David Slade pictures on Google’s Image Search are him giving off the “two-fingered salute”, the British version of the infamous middle finger.
  • He, on Sept 21, 2009, tweeted this enlightening quote on filmmaking, “When the vampires sparkle we need to use a special camera filter to expose it on film. Otherwise the film over exposes.”

Yeah… there’s not much. Remind me to write your biography. It’s sure to be a bestseller and I could use an extra 30-40 bucks.

Learn much more about David Slade on his birthday thanks to TeamSeth’s brilliant comments after the jump! Continue reading

Jackson got hurt. Did he try the leg hitch?

Dear Jackson,

Rumor has it that this week on the Eclipse set, you fell down and went ‘boom.‘ You poor baby! What happened? Tell me, it didn’t happen to involve a ‘leg hitch’ between Edward & Bella did it? I have no idea why you’d be on set for that scene, but I’m just double checking. Uh, if not, you don’t happen to know if there IS a leg hitch scene do you? Could you ask David Slade? Yes. Now. Get off the couch, stop icing whatever body part is ailing you (or remove the female currently helping you to “feel better”) and go check for me. And relay this message: “Dear David Slade, if there’s not a leg hitch you’re gonna wish you never took this job as director (well, you’ll wish it again). Trust me- you’d rather be shot by Charlie’s bb gun, attacked by wolves while a vampire sucks your neck and Cathy the Cougar offers to pleasure you orally then experience my wrath if Eclipse doesn’t include a leg hitch.”

To help you feel better, Jackson, I’ve provided, with the help of the gals at Rob’s flat in The Forum, Zephyersky & JodieO (okay they did ALL the work),  a little “Jackson porn” as well as some caption action. Okay, most of that is for us- we’ve been so worried about you- but I’ve included a little somethin’ somethin’ I think you’ll enjoy.

Feel better,
UnintendedChoice

slamdoor

Celebrating Jashley!

I’m starting to feel better! Are you? More after the jump! Continue reading

One cannot exist on Twilight alone

To Catherine Hardwicke, Chris Weitz, David Slade & whoever has the horrific job of making Renesmee come to life on the big screen,

A Warning not to mess with Twihards:

charcoalvolvoMoon: Can you EFFING believe David Slade and the props department for Eclipse? I mean, do they think we’re blind or something?! That Volvo is CHARCOAL! CHARCOAL!!
UC: I know, I mean.. that’s almost as bad as if Harry Clearwater had famous SHRIMP FRY or something
Moon: Or Newton’s ran a SHOE store and not an outfitters. Helllloooo we’re fans- We’re the readers. We’re gonna know this stuff!
UC: Do they think we’re Vampire Diaries fans or something? Ugh

Guys- learn from Cathy the Cougar’s mistakes. There were soooo many inconsistencies between Twilight the book and Twilight the movie.

  • In the book, Bella’s first day at Forks High School is on January 19. In the film, her first day is in March. This is a MAJOR issue. MAJOR problems could happen because of the different dates. I can’t think of any right now, but I know it’s a MAJOR big deal.
  • Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Cabinet color fail. But love the 'stache

    Bella’s mom painted the kitchen cabinets YELLOW to bring ‘sunshine’ to Forks. The cabinets in the movie were WHITE. WHITE! What would it cost? Like $3.00 paint them yellow? You could’ve made Rob eat what craft services made for 3-4 days and cut his hot pocket budget back to make up for the lost $3.00.

  • And in the movie when Bella entered Biology class and talked to Eric about getting her playlist for prom, she started to walk then pauses to look across the room towards Edward. In this shot the Armadillo is not on the shelf, and only what looks like a piece of paper is hanging there. Then the Armadillo appears on the shelf only after she has sat down at her desk and Edward moves the microscope towards Bella saying “Ladies first”. What is WRONG with you? Did you remember the Armadillo and then FORGET the armadillo? What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I just don’t even know what to say….
  • And I was extremely offended by Bella’s outfit in the movie when she goes to meet the Cullens for the first time.  Jeans, a green top & a jacket? How do you think Old Navy felt when they saw that? They stocked up on khaki skirts in every store expecting to sell out because girls would want to look like Bella from the movie. They didn’t even sell one (oh wait- Cathy the Cougar bought one because she felt bad) Old Navy ended up donating them all to some orphanage in Russia. Those poor Russian girls (and boys)… walking around in mid-nineties styles.
  • When Bella sees Jacob at the prom in the movie, he hasn’t grown significantly like in the book. Why!? WHY would you do that to us Cathy the Cougar? Did you not read the book? Jacob is supposed to grow! Jacob is a WEREWOLF! Werewolves aren’t small little baby boys. WHY!?
  • Speaking of the prom, WHERE were the rest of the Cullen kids? This is a BIG DEAL that they weren’t there! A BIG DEAL.

Chris, David, poor chap who will have to make a fake baby look real, we’re fasting & praying that you do better than SHE did…… And to YOU, David Slade…. how dare you make the Volvo CHARCOAL. Chris… I better not find out that you make the Newton Outfitters employee vest YELLOW instead of Orange.

High expectations,
UnintendedChoice

How we really feel after the jump Continue reading

Twilight Dirt – All the news that’s fit to print

Do your Twitpics look THIS GOOD? David Slade's do

Do your Twitpics look THIS GOOD? David Slade's do

Dear LTT-ers and Twihards,

It’s about that time again, yup we need to do a news dump, since we can’t write letters regarding EVERY little news piece nor do you want to hear us TRY to wax poetic about Sarah Clarke’s suitcase. I tried. It doesn’t work. So let’s get to it…

XO
Moon

  • If you’re not following David Slade on Twitter you are missing out on some awesome shiz, like pictures of Taylor doing backflips and THIS DUDE! This is the guy you see in the mirror after you chant “Red Rum” into your bathroom mirror with the lights off at your 6th grade sleepover. Eclipse crew are SEXYtimes.
  • Are you ready to simultaneously pee your pants, puke into the DVD storage unit near your tv, scream like a 14 yr old girl and hyperventilate? Yea, we are too! The holy trinity (Rob, KStew and Taycob) will be premiering a new (read: legit) trailer at the MTV Music Video Awards. And yes, Russell Brand is hosting again, get your pitch forks ready.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

OMG, Eclipse is filming right now? Let's go work out some more!

OMG, Eclipse is filming right now? Let's go work out some more!

  • I’m beginning to think these biotches aren’t even in Eclipse, they’re just hanging out, walking through Vancouver with their hoods up, drinking smoothies and working out 23 hours a day. Seriously, who owns THAT MUCH workout gear?

MORE News after the cut!
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Newest Twilight Saga Cast Members: Moon and UC. Why not?!

vera

We can be German reality show winners!

Dear Eclipse/Breaking Dawn Casting Directors, David Slade and whatever director ends up getting saddled with BD,

With all the news about the recent casting announcements and rumors swirling regarding who’s going to play who I’d like to formally toss my hat into the ring. Yes, I Moon Last Name Withheld would like to be in your movie(s). Besides the obvious: I don’t have an agent, a manager, a resume, a head shot or any serious acting skills beyond a couple school and church productions (oh and a very amazing video about wearing your seat belt shot for our 9th grade Safety Ed class), why not me? And why not UC while we’re at it? Remember when she begged to be Emily then Tanya? Come on!

You’ve recently cast Leah who wears a scarf over her boobs, some kid named BOO BOO for goodness sake and about every slut with a head shot around the world is starting a rumor that she will be Tanya. And now some chick from Germany who won a reality show contest is going to play Vera, Rosalie’s friend. So why not us? Here’s my pitch:

We can do slutty! Sorta.

We can do slutty! Sorta.

We’re random unknowns with questionable skills, so we fit in with the folks you’ve already cast. We can wear scarved around our awesome racks and come up with an odd name for ourselves. How about Moon-Moon and UC baby? And I’m sure if given the chance we’d kick ass on a reality show, especially a reality show where the prize is a role in a Twi-movie. Our confessionals/Diary room footage would be worth it alone!

For the studio and production: A plus for the marketing side is that we even have a couple followers who might be interested if we actually made it into a twi film! We could rally our total rad troops to spread the word about how great Volturi gaurd #4 and Random Witness #23 are! And really, choosing us as your newest cast members would be a savings since we’re already pale,  so there’s no need for make up to airbrush on us, and no need for wigs since we have luscious locks and a coupon to the costume supply shop if one of us gets attacked by a random girl with a mullet and a pair of scissors. Heck, you could pay us in kisses from Rob and gift cards to Pink Berry.

Our joint headshot

Our joint headshot

So won’t you find it in your heart and scripts to cast us as Hiker who gets killed and friend of Leah #2?

After all there are no small parts only small actors!
Themoonisdown

See what good times UC has cooking over at Letters to Rob
Post your acting resume and run lines at the forum!

Breaking down pics from the set of Eclipse

Dear LTT-ers,

With the total lack of any real Twi news or pictures larger than 1 inch by 1 inch, UC and I decided to do a little break down of the pictures from the Eclipse set. We speculate what scenes they could be from, how the actors prepared for the scene and what kind of mood they would have to be in. Ok, ok… you know us better than that- we get started off with how hot Rob is and then quickly devolve into some nonsense about Full House or Big Daddy’s love of McDonald’s menu items. This break down is no different! So let’s get it on!

Perfecting our waffle recipes,
Moon & UC

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

big booty big booty bog booty, oh yea big booty!

The one where we make a $7.00 bet
moon:
ok SOOO lets start with some hottness
UC: if i didn’t know better, i wouldn’t know that wasn’t rachelle. sorry rachelle 😦
moon: i know! totes looks like her
UC: and bryce has got a BOOTTAYYY
moon: riley likes big butts and he cannot lie
UC: so true So…. interesting about the kiss… wonder when it is
moon: so is that a wig shes wearing
UC: my guess is they probably show parts of seattle. it has to be a wig, that girl’s hair is stick straight
moon: yea im wondering about all this kiss/newborns/etc buisness since i dont remember it being HUGE in the book. i mean the movies gonna be long as ef already so then shotting all these other scenes is suprising to me but cool
UC: yeah… $7 it gets cut- please write that down somewhere
moon: noted
UC: so you don’t forget you owe me $7
moon: thats half a 2nd screening of eclipse on the following day since we’ll SO be seeing it AGAIN
UC: you could just buy me popcorn and 1/2 a drink
moon: ok we’ll share the drink diet coke and ill bring a LITTLE BOTTLE of rum. We’ll pour one out for our homie buttcrack santa. RIP
UC: RIP
UC: i’m gonna need the booze
moon: yea im gonna need it too, calm the nerves
UC: seeing rob roll around with HER doing the leg hitch. sigh
moon: we should make sure we’re packing at the midnight showing. GOD ill be thinking MULLET the whole time. hoping the wig falls off
UC: by packing do you mean our penis’ look big? cuz i don’t know what you mean
moon: yup, we’re defs stuffing our team jacob panties, so our packages scare the other bloggers, sorta like marking our territory. THIS theaters OURS bitches
UC: seriously.. take THAT “Letters to God

Follow the cut to apply for a job as a Twi-pap, learn about fish waffles and President Hamilton oh and Eclipse!
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