Monday Funnies, riffing on Twilight

Dear Twilight Movie,

You are so ridiculous sometimes you make the jokes too easy. Even for old dudes who know nothing about Twilight. So when I found this videos I knew we had to share them for Monday Funnies. This is some old dude sings his interpretation of Bella’s Lullaby, written by Edward. It may be back to work time but you don’t have to frown… just hum this whenever you boss asks you to stay late this week


“I want to chomp into you throaaaat… and watch you bleed out on the floor” Yup, I have definitely had that exact sentiment about several past bosses. Now all together!


And now the old guys say all the stuff we’ve been saying for months about the movie, only they voice it over the movie and it’s way more guy-ish. Highlights?
“That looks from the guy-you-alert-the-flight-attendent-about collection”
“Can’t socialize, obsessed with crappy book series!”

Seriously Twilight, the movie you make it too easy sometimes! I really can’t wait (no really?) for November, not only to see New Moon but because we’ll have some new material! Thank God!!

“Sit down have some plaid!”
Themoonisdown

So did you sing this to your boss this morning while through darts in your boss dartboard?

Seriously you CANNOT miss Letters to Rob today. UC’s hubby has a treat for all of us!!
Riff on Twilight in the forum
You have till Wednesday to enter the Imma Contest! Have you entered yet?

No more Jizz in the world or the Twilight fandom, we beg of you!

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me but we're gonna need a clean up on aisle three

It's perfectly normal, nothing wrong with me but we're gonna need a clean up on aisle three

Dear LTT-ers, euphemism lovers and 16 yr old boys,

Can we all agree to call a moratorium on the word “jizz?” Sure, it was funny when Andy Samberg and Lonely Island sang the song “Jizz in my Pants” and even funnier when some enterprising soul put the song to the biology class scene In Twilight, cause who didn’t think Edward had had a little downstairs bonanza when they first saw it? But we’ve officially reached the cut off point. I was alerted yesterday by the “Jizz Tracker 7000” (official name for a fake tracker) that the word Jizz has officially become over used and not to mention just plain gross.

Since the song came out last winter I think I’ve heard the term used in every way possible, as a noun “What the jizz?” as a verb: “I just jizzed all over the place!” as an adjective: “He is so jizzingly hot!” and ya know what? We can’t deal anymore. We’re all smart gals (and dudes) around here I know you have other vocab words. I’d even wholeheartedly agree to the usage of words like “chagrin,” “irrevecable,” and “glower” instead!

So in the interest of our sanity and gag reflex (that’s what she said) can we stop using the term altogether and instead think of a term that equates extreme excitement without the bodily fluids?

I totes just sqee-ed in my pants,
Themoonisdown

And one last time for ol time’s sake! Take it away Lonely Island…

So are we the only ones SO over this word? Are there any more we can add to the list?

What shakin’ with Rob today?
Invent a new excited word in the forum!
We TWEET with excitement!

AmandDUH’s at it again – Decode!!

Dear LTT-ers, train wreck lovers and video enthusiasts,

Our dear dear Twimom video vixen AmanDUh is at it again! And yes she’s gone back to covering songs and wouldn’t you know this time it’s Decode by Paramore. I about jumped out of my chair when I got the notification she had updated and she doesn’t let us down!

Looks like AmanDUH’s invested in a make up artist for this video. Yup she got eyeliner and what I can only assume is a  tear drop “tattoo” on her cheek. Now where I’m from that means something quite different that being sad. Thats just straight gangsta! Did she get in a prison gang fight at the ladies penitentury and kill one of her homies? DAAAYUM Amanduh’s hardcore! I better watch my back, she’s libel to cuttabitch. But really, I’m just glad she brought back “special” Edward for this video, I was beginning to miss him and his hairline.

Enjoy! And uh don’t turn up the volume too loud she hits a few notes that only dogs will be able to hear.

How did we get herAH?
Themoonisdown

-UC dazzles us with some Rob goodness over at Letters to Rob
– create your own video and post it at the forum so we can all laugh!

She’s at it again! AmanDAH the TwiMom video vixen!

Dear LTT/LTR-ers,

Remember last weekend when I brought you my newest favorite fan video creator? Well she’s at it again and we’ve decided to give her a nickname because she’s too amazing NOT to have one. This lovely gal shall now be called AmandDAH the Twimom Video Vixen, cause yes, this woman is a mom! And she’s not only creating vids of her version of the New Moon trailer with her special hubster but is writing, singing and recording her own songs inspired by Twilight! Oh yes, hang on to your butts cause this is gonna blow that trailer out of the water!

Let’s start out with her upbeat diddy titled “My Vampire”

I keep worrying that her shirt may fall off through this whole video… makes it hard to concentrate on the amazing lyrics…

Starting over
in a new school forks high
eyes on me
dont like the attention

then i spot him out
staring me down
looking mean
looking pale and handsome

hes not a man hes a vampire

Alrighty now let’s slow it down with her next smash hit titled “Beautiful Vampire”

Now if I was the director of a Twilight porno spoof: Bella Does Forks, this is the song I would pick for the soundtrack…

pale white skin
ice cold chill
sheild of mine
vampire eyes
fast
blink of an eye

thirst of my wine

hes beautiful
beautiful vampire

Seriously guys, I really can’t wait to see what AmanDAH comes up with next cause I couldn’t write this stuff… she’s the biggest Twilight fan who’s never read Twilight!

Happy Saturday!
Themoonisdown

LTR
The Forum

Follow the cut for a very special announcement about the Porn-off between us and the Twi Sisterhood
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Holy crap – 2nd hand embarrassing New Moon fanmade video

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s that time again, YUP time to be 2nd hand embarrassed by a fellow “fan” of Twilight. And today I bring you an extra ambitious fan who not only created a New Moon trailer, but wrote the script, acted in it (as Bella of course), SANG the music and enlisted her husband/some dude to play Edward. Oh yes, we have a live Edward in this one. And not to be mean but I think she might have found him at the group home around the corner, promised him a part time job and then told him his job was to “be Edward. Claw my face with your paw as if I’m a glazed doughnut and don’t take the grill on the way out”

watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNclyinIGX8

fanvideonewmoon
Shhhh kids, mommy and daddy are trying to act like teenage vampires… go back to your room!

She actually had a few other Twilight related videos up and promised a video of her version of Twilight. Sadly, she’s taken them down but we still get this gem! She truly is a prolific video creator, songwriter AND author (of TWO books!)! Check it ALL out. Trust me.

Happy Saturday!
Themoonisdown

Check out LTR
and
The Forum

The Dirt – News Dump all things Twilight, Rob, Kristen, New Moon, and everyone else

They won't see me here, under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh, under this umbrella!

They won't see me here, under my umbrella, ella ella eh eh eh, under this umbrella!

Dear LTT-ers,

You know how sometimes there just too much to cover and not enough hours in the day?

Yea, that’s this week.

With filming of New Moon wrapped there’s been so much news and craziness off the set I thought we should bring you a new edition of The Dirt – the News Dump… where we handpick all the best news just for you!

Did we miss anything awesome?

Love your guts-
Themoonisdown

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  • Finally a dude who doesn’t have his head up his arse, hits on Ashley Greene. Then they ride the waves and uh surf
  • Have you been living under a rock? Peter Facinelli made an almost impossible bet with a friend regarding Twitter. Follow him
  • Gil Birmingham jumps on the Twitter bet bandwagon. For the love of God follow him so we don’t have to see him in a Speedo
  • Yup, still there
  • Tess got bored effing around with Max and Liz, took a wrong turn at the Crashdown Cafe and ended up on the Remember Me set
  • As if you needed an excuse to watch more stuff about New Moon:

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Watching the New Moon trailer – It’s all in the reaction!

Dear Twi-hards-

I love you so because I am one of you… deep down in my screaming 14yr old heart of hearts. I shouldn’t have to convince you: the blogs, the live blogging the awards, the mini edwards pics for goodness sake, that should tell you all you need to know. The only place I have yet to venture into (besides crafting wearable twilight pants) in my fandom is the reaction video! And boy are there some amazing ones out there. Some awesomely funny, some totally 2nd hand embarrassing and some like looking in a mirror. Recently, these reaction videos have been getting some major play around the internet and one gal in particular. She is actually one of UC and my favorite vloggers… she is so wild and crazy we almost can’t believe she exists in real life. No one can be this whacky or this devoted and just downright entertaining, right?? A few nights ago I was writing my blog post and who should i see on tv? None of other than our favorite vlogger, the light of our lives, NuttyMadam herself! They showed her on Vh1’s Best Day Ever, so of course like a weirdo I sent UC a text at 2 in the morning her time yelling (cause you can do that over text) SHE’S ON TV!!! OUR GIRL IS ON TV!!!!

And actually the wild thing is her New Moon reaction video isn’t her best one, sure she cries and yells crap like THE BEACH! but it’s nothing like her other greatest hits like the Twilight trailer reaction video or better yet when she goes off on Breaking Dawn haters!

Watch her and other folks’s New Moon Reaction videos… adjust your speakers accordingly, let out any small animals and remove glass objects from the vicinity of the computer…


She’s “gonna fangirl SOOOO hard.” Uh… don’t break anything dear.

Also check out her reactions AFTER seeing Twilight, like directly outside the theater door, trust me!

Grab some popcorn and take the jump to watch some of our other favorite reaction videos from the New Moon trailer…
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