Will Bill Condon direct Breaking Dawn, The Musical? I sure hope so!

If you only knew...

Dear Bill Condon,

Oh Bill Condon… oh Bill, Bill, Bill… if you only knew what you were getting yourself into… alas that is a letter for another day. We have more pressing matters to discuss today…

Of all the rumored directors being vetted for Breaking Dawn: Gus van Sant, Sofia Coppola, Fernando Meirelles and a few others your name seems to just keep coming up. Especially yesterday when we learned that you may be in talks/negotiations to direct BD. And I gotta say I’m super excited! For the general public they probably best know you from your film adaptations of the musicals Chicago and Dreamgirls*. As a HUGE nerd fan of musicals this has my head spinning. Because I’m sure, like me, there are tons of people out there thinking Breaking Dawn will be turned into a musical. A musical version of Breaking Dawn? YES PLEASE!!! Just imagine it…

We open with a wide shot of Forks with an incoming rain storm in the background. Charlie slowly drives the streets in his cop car singing a  “Patrolling in the Rain” type of song under his breath. Then the skies open up and it begins raining. Raining glitter, of course.

glitter, lots and lots of glitter!

Then we catch up with Bella singing about that dumb ol car as she gases up the Mercedes Guardian at the gas station and then uses the gas pump as a prop jump rope and sings “Only a Human, not yet a Vampire” as a man taps dances around the car inspecting it.

Later on we have the wedding scene which I imagine as a sort of Guys and Dolls Nathan and Adelaide getting married scene only set in the Cullens backyard while we cut to shots of Jacob running through the forest singing “Get me to the church Cullens on time.”

Then to celebrate their marriage we have a huge ensemble number, a re-imaging of “We’ve only just begun” with the Cullen family, Wolfpacks, humans, townspeople raising closed umbrella’s for them to walk through and then as they leave for the honeymoon, instead of throwing birdseed or rose petals the guests throw, what else? Glitter!

In honor of Stephenie Meyer’s ultimate cockblock, for the honeymoon  scene instead of fading to black the musical version of Breaking Dawn will have something very similar to “Contact” by Angel in Rent, where we don’t actually really see anything go down but we know it’s a big metaphor for sex. Yup, Stephenie you will still have your fade to black in the end.

Yup, twihards made this Bill. GET READY

Bella giving birth closes the first act . I imagine this like the scene (I think, theater nerds help me out) in Carousel when Billy is stabbed and instead of it being literally blood spurting, instead a red sheet slowly gets pulled out to symbolize her bleeding to death as Edward holds up Reneesme all Rafiki-holds-Simba-up-in-Lion-King like and then hands her to Rosalie as he launches into a gut wrenching soliloquy about possibly losing Bella all while Jacob cowers in the corner singing to himself quietly.

End of Act 1

Follow the cut to see what I dream up for Act 2, it’s a real show stopper, trust me

I still think of Twilight all.the.time…

Dear Twilight,

You ruined me in August of 2008 when I first discovered you and missed my week of vacation reading you. Then again in November of 2008 when I first watched you and spent the following days and weeks boo-hooing at my desk at work while listening to “Flightless Bird, American Mouth.” I can’t remember the year after that except I know I went to LA twice to do Twilight-related things and somehow I’ve ended up here, still thinking about Twilight.

I think about Twilight everytime I hear the word “Vancouver” (which these days is multiple times a day) The rest of the world might think “Olympics” but noooo a Twilight fan thinks “Where the Twilight cast filmed” and wonders if the city still holds the essence of the stars & the power of Stephanie Meyer. While I try to stay awake during watch bobsledding I think about how Nikki & Kristen gave Taylor his first puff of a cigarette (and Nikki probably gave him more) that one day when New Moon filming first started. And whenever they show the Olympic village on TV, I wonder if the “humans” got to have a tour last fall when they had some time off from shooting their 5 minutes worth of scenes. During their breaks did the cast get together for a little Twilight Cast & Crew Olympics? On the day that David Slade came by to see if he was gonna have to replace Taylor Lautner, did Chris Weitz invite him to battle him at “Director Chair Rowing?”

When I go to Florida & want a smoke, I’m smacked in the face with an anti-smoking ad that has a Twilight-feel

and I’m actually kinda regretting my switch from Verizon to At&t to drink the iPhone kool-aid

Now a vampire won’t love me?

I thought that at this point, well over a year after this obsession began, I wouldn’t be thinking Twilight around every corner. But a Chevy commercial featuring a red truck just came on the TV. No, it wasn’t a beat up car from the 60’s (50’s? I’m too lazy to google it), but nonetheless, I thought of Bella.

The best thing about LTT is that it’s a daily reminder that I am not alone (oh- and I’m a pretty expressive speaker and so every time I say something is not something- I ‘say’ it like Kristen said they are not bears)

Clicky for good times

Nella had a convo with her brother who thought an old classic was strikenly like Twilight…

The other night my brother and I were watching The Sound of Music. It’s been years I haven’t watched the movie since the very beginning, so I was fully enjoying the first scene where they show the mountains before we see Maria having the time of her life spinning and singing. And then my brother goes…”It looks like Twilight.” It took me, oh, like 0.0732 seconds to realize what he was talking about. ”O_O Shit, you’re right.” The mountains with snow, the trees, the green-ness, the valleys, new girl in a new place, kids in trees…Not only the intros but the entire movies could be related one another. We took a few minutes to lol, then my brother started on how a mash-up of the two movies would be. The Sound of Twilight. Our imaginations were overflowing. Bella singing ”the trees are alive with the sound of twilight” and stopping abruptly because Mother Superior Renee was texting her, she’s got a plane to catch. She arrives at the Von Cullen residence where she meets Edward Von Cullen and his seven children. She makes them play clothes with the tablecloths they never used and they go play vampire baseball (they’re not afraid of thunder) up in the hills. Edward and Bella wander off in a meadow, then Bella starts singing ”I am seventeen going on eighteen” and Edward answers back singing ”I am seventeen going on one-oh-eight”. Emmett discovers the Von Cullen’s singing skills and ask his brother Edward if he can get them to sing at the La Push Choirs Festival.

Two words (you know what they are) That’s Normal

Katiebird sent us an email saying her mind automatically goes to all-things-Twilight-Edward, every day, in every situation, and she can’t seem to make it stop:

So just last week, my hubby and I are walking from the parking garage, in the alley behind our building, to our new home in Chicago, and I notice that there are two large square black metal openings, that look like coal chutes, on the back of our building. That is what I am guessing, because that is how buildings in Chicago were heated a long time ago, and the city would deliver coal thru those openings to the furnaces below. There is a date inscribed on the openings that says 1906. My hubby notices as well, and says, “Hey, I think our building may have been built in the late 1800’s. That is so cool.” We are now walking up the back steps, and I accidently say out loud, “Wow, Edward wasn’t even a vampire yet, just a little boy.” Whoops, holy crap…. It just dawns on me, right then, that I am living in the city where Edward was born, and am thinking that was kind of cool, but did I really just say that out loud? My man, God love him, doesn’t miss a beat, and replies, “Oh yeah, that doesn’t happen until when? 1918?” What was that? Has he really been paying attention? He also moans and says, “God, why do I know that?!?!” I just laugh, and think to myself, “Man, I can’t believe that I just went there, and said it out loud.” All I can say, is that he is finally learning to just go with it, and at least not laughing in my face. If he only knew, how many times I relate things and situations to Twilight/Edward, and sometimes even Rob, he probably would have me committed.

And I know that’s not it. I know tomorrow morning something I hear on the radio on my drive into work will remind me of Twilight. Will it ever stop? (Do I want it to?)

Thinking of you, fondly,
UnintendedChoice

So I know we’re not the only ones. We get emails from you all daily because of something that reminded you of Twilight. Fess up- what are you thinking of these days!?

Thanks to Jenny-meiss & Luludee for sending in that Verizon commercial!

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Breaking Down Swiftner aka we heart Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift HARD!

How ridiculously perfect is this picture?! Seriously!

Dear LTT-ers and Robsteners,

We so get it now! After the pictures of the Taylors (aka Swiftner) came out this week and the ensuing letters I wrote to them UC and I fangirled out (it was mostly a lot of high pitched “oh-em-geeing) half the day about Swiftner and how much we loved them. I started watching the clips commenters posted in the letters to the Taylors post and I knew I had a new addiction. Here’s UC and I breaking it down…

The one where I “come out”
Moon: I officially sound like the Swiftner version of a robsten fan*
UC hahahahahahha and i like it SO much more!
Moon Yes, it’s not nearly as annoying or annoying at ALL
UC RIGHT! just cute!
Moon dude ive SO watched like 2 videos of him at her concert in Chicago. Stop me
UC: hahahahahhahaha love it!
Moon: people are posting them in the comments. She sings 15 in the audience in front of Taylor and then comes to hug the folks where he’s sitting and when she hugs him and the crowd goes nuts. its SOOO embarrassing. im embarrassed for them. and then they do that lingering hand holding thing as she walks away. Swiftner lives folks! hahahaha
UC: awwwww!!!! sooo cute!!!!
Moon its super cute
UC dude.. that’s amazing. Send me the link to the video

Moon: OMG!!! HAHAHA its even more embarrassing from this other angle
UC: Watching! Awwww!
Moon SO CUTE!
UC he’s like “i love you” SOO cute! what if he sang? i’d die if he started singing along with her!
Moon: HAHAHAH they need to do a duet. I hope taylor has seen taylors crappy student video

Follow the cut to see us have an epiphany and plot our Swiftner love blog