Will Bill Condon direct Breaking Dawn, The Musical? I sure hope so!

If you only knew...

Dear Bill Condon,

Oh Bill Condon… oh Bill, Bill, Bill… if you only knew what you were getting yourself into… alas that is a letter for another day. We have more pressing matters to discuss today…

Of all the rumored directors being vetted for Breaking Dawn: Gus van Sant, Sofia Coppola, Fernando Meirelles and a few others your name seems to just keep coming up. Especially yesterday when we learned that you may be in talks/negotiations to direct BD. And I gotta say I’m super excited! For the general public they probably best know you from your film adaptations of the musicals Chicago and Dreamgirls*. As a HUGE nerd fan of musicals this has my head spinning. Because I’m sure, like me, there are tons of people out there thinking Breaking Dawn will be turned into a musical. A musical version of Breaking Dawn? YES PLEASE!!! Just imagine it…

We open with a wide shot of Forks with an incoming rain storm in the background. Charlie slowly drives the streets in his cop car singing a  “Patrolling in the Rain” type of song under his breath. Then the skies open up and it begins raining. Raining glitter, of course.

glitter, lots and lots of glitter!

Then we catch up with Bella singing about that dumb ol car as she gases up the Mercedes Guardian at the gas station and then uses the gas pump as a prop jump rope and sings “Only a Human, not yet a Vampire” as a man taps dances around the car inspecting it.

Later on we have the wedding scene which I imagine as a sort of Guys and Dolls Nathan and Adelaide getting married scene only set in the Cullens backyard while we cut to shots of Jacob running through the forest singing “Get me to the church Cullens on time.”

Then to celebrate their marriage we have a huge ensemble number, a re-imaging of “We’ve only just begun” with the Cullen family, Wolfpacks, humans, townspeople raising closed umbrella’s for them to walk through and then as they leave for the honeymoon, instead of throwing birdseed or rose petals the guests throw, what else? Glitter!

In honor of Stephenie Meyer’s ultimate cockblock, for the honeymoon  scene instead of fading to black the musical version of Breaking Dawn will have something very similar to “Contact” by Angel in Rent, where we don’t actually really see anything go down but we know it’s a big metaphor for sex. Yup, Stephenie you will still have your fade to black in the end.

Yup, twihards made this Bill. GET READY

Bella giving birth closes the first act . I imagine this like the scene (I think, theater nerds help me out) in Carousel when Billy is stabbed and instead of it being literally blood spurting, instead a red sheet slowly gets pulled out to symbolize her bleeding to death as Edward holds up Reneesme all Rafiki-holds-Simba-up-in-Lion-King like and then hands her to Rosalie as he launches into a gut wrenching soliloquy about possibly losing Bella all while Jacob cowers in the corner singing to himself quietly.

End of Act 1

Follow the cut to see what I dream up for Act 2, it’s a real show stopper, trust me
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18 ways for Taylor to celebrate being officially legal and we’re off the hook

We have finally made it!!

Dear Taylor,

The day has finally arrived! We are no longer considered predators or creepy old ladies. Well, maybe creepy but definitely not old and no longer over stepping our legal bounds! It’s a party around here to say the least and in honor of your 18th birthday we thought, since we have a little experience, that we’d tell you what you’re now allowed to do legally in the USA!

It’s your 18th birthday so we’ve come up with a list of 18 things you can NOW do as a legal adult…

01. VOTE! No we’re not talking about voting for Rob as best dressed or for Kristen at the Bafta’s, we’re talking real deal referendums, amendments to city ordinances, Presidents, elected officials, school board councils, THE WORKS! Exciting I know.

02. You can be DRAFTED! One of the thrills of being a male American citizen of 18 years of age means you can now be drafted to join the US military. I’m sure you received that fun little piece of paper in the mail that you had to sign and send back to Uncle Sam cause he’ll come find you if you don’t and trust us he has his eye on you. He’s seen those canons and he wants them in his military. They could be considered lethal weapons after all.

03. You can now BUY A LOTTERY TICKET! Doesn’t matter that you’re now considered the highest paid “teen” actor in the business. Nothing beats filling up your tank at the gas station and buying a Mega Millions ticket! Oh the thrill, the risk, the ultimate let down.

We'd be excited too!

04. Throw away your McLovin’ fake ID cause now you can buy smokes for Kristen and Rob LEGALLY! Tobacco is now at your finger tips any time you get the itch to hang with the “cool kids” on set. This also means after you become addicted you’re now able to buy “the patch” and Nicorette gum!

05. Remember when Taylor Swift left you for John Mayer/That dude from Glee/Jared Followill/The Blockbuster guy and you wanted to spray paint her a mural full of Lisa Frank hearts and rainbows and unicorns to remind her what she was missing? Well, now you can buy spray paint!! I hear they have sparkly spray paint now.

06. If you and the wolfpack are feeling adventurous and need a bonding activity while shooting Breaking Dawn you can now make that Wolfpack bicep tattoo permanent cause you’re now legal to get tattoos without Big Daddy’s permission. May I also suggest a heart with our names in it on your forearm?

Follow the cut to see the rest of the 18 things Taylor can now do and then celebrate with us!
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One Year. It’s been a long time coming! Celebrate our year in the Twilight fandom!

Oh hello outtake of Moon & UC in a disney forest!

Dear UnintendedChoice (I used your full fake name cause I’m serious. I’m also wearing a pair of Tweed jorts),

A year ago today (trust me, I counted) we started this “secret blog” which now a year later isn’t such a secret anymore, not to the thousands of visitors we get or the hundreds of commenters who comment on every post and not even to most people in my real life now. In fact more often than not I’m now introduced to people I don’t know with “Hi X, this is Moon* she runs a “famous” Twilight blog!” Uh, well, wham, bam, thank you ma’m. Not such a secret anymore I dare say!

Remember our very first layout EVER?!

People ask me why I don’t talk more about the blogs in my real life and it would be easy to say it’s embarrassing I write a blog every day about Twilight and Rob but truthfully I can’t be embarrassed anymore about a blog that’s become part of the fandom in a real and lasting way. I can’t be embarrassed that people have met their soul mates and friends and long lost bff’s because we write about Twilight. I can’t be embarrassed that things we’ve created: words, phrases, characters, fake names have become part of the lexicon of the Twilight/Rob fandom.  And I definitely can’t be embarrassed that because I write this blog I have found a new lease on life and created a deep and lasting friendship with one of the most wonderful people God ever created. You are a God send UC. Baby Jesus and Rob himself created you just for me in their plaid heaven in the sky.

May the source be with you!

Some people know a little bit of my back story that led up to creating this with you but for those who don’t I worked for an entertainment company for multiple years and worked my way up through the ranks to a position that had all the responsibility of a middle woman and none of the perks of an upper level executive. I regularly contemplated crashing my german made car into the free way underpass on the way to work every morning. Every Sunday night (or really just any day ending in Y) I would wake up with panic attacks that would leave me paralyzed in my bed. I would come home from work and go straight to bed at 7Pm until I had to get up and do it all again the next day. To say all of these things were unhealthy would be an understatement.

And then I found Twilight (cue choir of Angels) or rather it found me.

Follow the cut to read the rest and to see some special shout outs, music, and hear the story of our first post!
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Celebrate Good Times, COME ON!

Dear LTT gals and lads,

Just like KC and the Sunshine Band sang it’s time for a Celebration! Just the other night we had this conversation…

Moon: I just want to hug all these people [our readers] and be like you know what? You’re pretty cool. I can be having a shitty day, working for people who suck and clients who hate me, but I know somewhere there’s someone reading the blog and THEY like me! Very gushy I know, and maybe a tad drunk, but still gushyand NORMAL
UC: and I feel the same way
Moon: “Gushy” is one of my favorite terms because though I come off as a tough bitch on the exterior to most people, inside I am a truly and deeply sentimental person. Probably almost to a fault, but it’s true, and I can’t deny it- I love to gush.

Today we’re gushing because in our wildest imagination, 4 months ago on December 8th, 2008, we never imagined we’d be HERE with you all, over 500,000 views and 30,000+ comments later! Whew!

However large these blogs end up getting, we hope that one thing remains the same- that you feel personally connected to us and the other readers here, because if nothing else we want this to be a personal experience (albeit a funny one!) because Stephenie Meyer’s books are exactly that- a truly personal look at love and relationships. We can only hope that we convey one ounce of that to you all.

Happy FOUR MONTH anniversary to us! After the jump you can see ours and some of our very own commenters hand-picked favorite posts from the past 4 months.

We love you all and look forward to the next 4,
themoonisdown and UnintendedChoice

Our Favorite LTT Posts…

Moon and UC’s fave’s

kellanbloodWe’re gonna have to go old school with the very first post EVER “The Purpose Driven Vampire” I mean HELLO I (moon) thought of and wrote the entire post in my head while using the potty! TMI? That’s NORMAL! And it’s where the whole Kellan/youth group story line comes from…

(12/08/08)
The Purpose Driven Vampire

Here are some of the letter highlights:

“Last night after watching the Vanity Fair outtakes video, I decided I hadn’t wasted enough time so why not read all TWELVE interviews? Then I got to yours. And I read that your favorite book is “The Purpose Driven Life” … so that got me to thinking you chose this for two reasons…” Read letter here!

Another Moon/UC Favorite:

Besides quoting the Disney Pocahontas song UC pleads to be cast as Emily and then genius strikes and asks to be cast as Tanya instead in New Moon. So much win in that one. We still laugh reading it.

(01/27/09)
new-moon-cover1I Can Paint With All The Colors of the Wind

Here are some of the letter highlights:

“Hello. My name is UnintendedChoice, and I wanted to introduce myself because I am coming to visit you really soon. Actually, it’s a good idea for us to become bff’s because you’ll be seeing a lot of me in the upcoming months, starting on Sunday, February 8, from 9am-12pm at the Second Ave Studios.

You see, I have what we call an acute fondness for Robert Pattinson (not to mention a sorta unhealthy obsession of looking at this picture of Taylor Lautner)…” Read letter here!

Find out some of our reader’s favorite letters from the past 4 months on LTT after the jump!

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