The Edward action figure is kinda a slut…

Dear Edward,

I can hang with the fact that you’re a 108 year old vampire trapped inside the body of a beautiful, sexy, perfect 17-yr-old, but what I don’t get is this miniature version of you that’s EVERY WHERE these days. How do you do it!? I know you run fast… but you’re EVERY WHERE at ONCE!

Not to mention that no one seems to know what to call you. We’ve always just referred to you as the “Edward Cullen Doll” (or my ‘very own crappy Edward‘) but have also heard you called micro-Edward, little Edward or, our favorite, “Pocket Edward” (which of course was the creation of our dear friend, Lauren, from Lauren’s Bite). Regardless of what we call you, you seem kinda slutty. You’re spending a lot of time with a LOT of woman, and I’m getting a little jealous.

Stop it, k?
❤ UnintendedChoice

laurendollJust promise me you didn’t send any of the “other” girls a Valentine like the one you and Lauren made for me (in case you’re wondering if Eddie wrote that he’s depressed because

1) he’s stuck with Bella
2) I am married and
3) he was late with his v-tines greeting, all those things are true.

miniedward1

aCarla saw you at the hospital
miniedward4I was at the hospital this morning visiting my husband when I heard a page for Dr. Cullen to room 744.

I thought this can’t be Dr. Carlisle Cullen, what would he be doing here? I went down the hall and there stood Edward, I was in shock! I asked him what he and Dr. Cullen were doing here in Kansas and he said that they were passing through and stopped by to check up on an old patient of Dr. Cullen’s that was ill.

Edward and I walked around the hospital talking while Dr. Cullen tended to his patient and he didn’t mind if I took pictures. It was a great time and I wanted to share them. By the way, no pictures of my husband and Edward as my husband was asleep at the time, but Dr. Cullen checked on him and said that he was going to be fine. Carla

miniedward5

a

A day at the (fake) beach

aj

You took AJ & her friends to the beach near the Ohio University campus (AJ says she uses the term beach loosely, and I’m glad because I didn’t THINK there were “beaches” in Ohio!)

aj1

 

a


jena1
Pocket Edward enjoys his first hockey game

Jena said she had a LOT of fun with you at the University of Nebraska at Omaha vs. Notre Dame hockey game, even though UNO lost 3-4.

jena

Find out where else Pocket/Mini/Crappy/Little/Micro Edward sluts it out after the jump!

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Let’s hear it for the boys!

Dear LTT readers-

I know we made a New Years resolution to bring you more letters to the Twilight ladies. And we have! We’ve talked about them A LOT lately, in fact. But let’s get real here, we know why we all come here on a daily basis (besides extreme boredom at work). It’s to see some hot Cullen Boys action! That’s right, enough with the fake lesbo’s and girl talk and the mani/pedi’s- let’s get to the real deal, I’m talking hot Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle action!

Bella who?
themoonisdown

More Cullen boy video goodness after the jump…
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Distorted Reality

Dear Twilight,

I’m not sure how you do it, but it seems you’ve distorted my reality.  I just spent an entire day indoors fearing that this sunny December day would reveal to my neighbors relatives, visiting for Christmas vacation, how I sparkle in the sun, just like diamonds.

I don’t think I’m the only one.  Remember LL from last week? The one dating Brian? She understands too.  She left me a message yesterday saying,

“um so today i was telling brian how i sometimes have a hard time reading him…. it went something like this:

‘i’m usually very good at reading people…with just one exception…’

i hope he never reads the book. he’ll find out where i get all my lines from.”

It seems that this girl has had her reality distorted, too:

I know, since I’m basically a vamp already (in my mind), why don’t you send Carlisle my way to turn me tonight? I’ll be home around 12:30 am EST!

Love, 
Rebekah Cullen.. oops.. not Cullen.. crap..

Bah-Humbug!

twicalendar02Dear Makers of Official Calender

You SUCK.

No Love,
Me

Neither unintendedchoice or myself received said calendar for Christmas because there were none to be had not ANYWHERE. And trust me, if my mom couldn’t find it. NO ONE could. Look what I’m going to miss on my birthday month?! REALLY, what am I supposed to use now to keep track of days at work?

Oh and I hear July’s an especially HOT month featuring Carlisle… but guess we’ll never know.

A penny saved is a penny earned!

movieposterDear Twilight Fans-

Summit’s running a fun little contest over on the official myspace where you can win a completely canned phone call from Rob to be delivered on New Years Eve, cause we know Rob won’t actually be calling you on NYE, hopefully he’ll be banging some hot chick (me). The catch is, you have to tell them how many times you’ve seen Twilight, the movie. Ok, so I thought three times was normal… uh, apparently not here’s a glimpse at some of the comments:

Gal#1
Dec 17 2008 6:41 AM
i have seen this movie like 26 or more times. i watch it every day i get home from school. it is sooo… awesome!!! i could basically recite it! [internet sites are awesome!]……=]

Gal #2
Dec 17 2008 6:40 AM
i have seeen this movie 39 timess :] i love it i can watch it over and over again.

and the kicker…

Gal #3
Dec 17 2008 6:41 AM
Ive literally seen it like 50 times Ive spent almost a whole paycheck on tickets…(i need intervention bad)lol i even ditched class to wait to wait outside in the cold twice so i could see it lol its a shame

Ok, REALLY?? Let’s for one second believe this is real and break this down… we’ll split the difference and say you’ve seen it 30 times…

30 screenings x $9.00 ticket = $270!!! and that’s not even counting popcorn… so let’s say…

$270 x $10.00 concessions = $2700.00!!!!!!!!

Holy crap. It’s great and all to be a fan and/or the one person to bankroll the next three movies by yourself, but COME ON. May I suggest what you could have done with that 2700.00?

1. Get a new handbag? Louis Vuitton has a great gray bag im dying for… or maybe a chloe?
2. get a trainer, move to LA and actually MEET these boys?
3. donate to a good cause? give to your local BLOOD bank? or CWA (Carlisle Would Approve)?

4. Seek psychiatric evaluation immediately!

Love you freaks!
Me

PS more from me later on twi-fans!