Wait, Renesmee is cool? She serves a purpose? Cam explains why

*Cam writes to Stephenie about the much debated vampire love child Renesemee and gives it to us from a mom perspective. An LTT mom perspective… settle in… This is also an excuse to post more creepy Renesmee fan images*

The fact that these exsist make my day!

Dear Stephenie,

I get it. I totally get it. Reneesme. See, I’m a mom, too. So I 100% get and support Reneesme.

I know most of the fandom can’t stand your rapidly aging, mind-reading, half – vamp baby and they really can’t stand her name, but I get why Reneesme had to happen and appreciate her part of the story.

You said on Oprah that your kids were terrible sleepers – that they didn’t sleep through the night until they were almost 2! Ouch. As any mother knows, those first few months of sleep deprivation (or in your case years!) will make you go crazy. Straight up question your sanity, make you feel like a zombie crazy. (No wonder you dreamed of vampires!) You’ve also said that to you, your Twilight world was a fantasy world where Bella did and experienced things you never would. So no wonder that when you took our beloved Twilight series to its ending, you would include a miracle half – human, half – vampire baby who embodies all of the things real babies aren’t. You wanted Bella to experience motherhood in a way none of us ever will – in idyllic (if slightly creepy and horrific) perfection. You made Bella the luckiest vampire in the world when you created Reneesme. Not only does she get the perfect man night after night for all of eternity, she gets the world’s perfect baby. Win – win.

So Stephenie, I’ve compiled a list of all the reasons Reneesme totally makes sense and all the fabulous qualities of a fantasy half – human, half – vampire baby and pregnancy.

• Conception – On a private island with the world’s perfect man, with action so hot you break beds, plus all the eggs you can eat? Sign me up!

• Pregnancy – Instead of 40 long weeks of your body slowly getting bigger and bigger and stretching every which way – you get it over with quickly. One month of rapid stretching and bone breaking. Um, wait…maybe this isn’t an advantage.

• Birth – This sounds pretty horrible. I think both my husband and I would freak out if he had chewed our children out of me. I had to convince him just to cut the umbilical cord. But hey, any way you get a baby out is no walk in the park. Plus, ultimately this gets Bella what she wants – Edward. Maybe it is worth it.

• The baby sleeps through the night immediately. Win!

Seriously, if you made this please raise your hand

• You don’t have to nurse her. Yes, being able to nurse your children is a gift and a joy and a special bonding time. But it also ruins your boobs. And limits what you can do. I’m not one of those people to just whip out my boobs and nurse anywhere. Although UC’s boob off does sound interesting. Can there be a National Geographic prize for those TwiMoms among us?

• No post baby weight to get off. In fact, post birth you look better than you did before. This is pure fantasy. After I had my babies, I was just glad my earrings hadn’t fallen out and I hadn’t sweated or cried all of my mascara off.

• You wake up wearing a hot silk dress and stilettos, ready to spring into vampire action!

• You have sex really quickly after you have the baby. Like all night every night while your baby sleeps happily in the next room. This is why there are TwiMoms. Because we know the reality — your sex life is totally different after kids – and right after you have the baby…um, not so much.

• Jacob imprinting on her. You know, love, and trust the person who will take care of your child for the rest of her life. You know they have met their soul mate. Those are all dreams of moms for their children. We want nothing more than for our children to have life partners who will love, respect and take care of them. Sure, it’s a bit creepy that he used to be in love with Bella, but whatever. Minor detail.

The newest and my most favorite entry into the Renesmee fanart Hall of Shame

• The name — Do I like the name you picked, Stephenie? Does it matter? Nope. My theory is if you birth it, you get to name it no questions or opinions from anyone else allowed. Is it a mouthful to say and spell?  Yes. But this is your baby, Steph, so if you like the name, then good for you.

You’re welcome, Stephenie. I know most people complain about Reneesme. I know she ruined the story for a lot of fans. But to me, she was the icing on the fantasy vampire life cake. And while there are some aspects of vampire mommy hood (Edward) that sound appealing, I think I prefer human mommy hood.

Just one request….could you help a sister out and finish Midnight Sun?

Completely and Irrevocably in Reneesme’s Defense,

Cam

Good call Cam… Maybe Stephenie just wanted to write about having the perfect little girl that she wouldn’t get to have as a human. And the boob thing, totes get that! But these manips? Don’t get these… What do you all think? What’s the real reason Stephenie decided to write Renesmee into the story?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

Cam Gigandet – Our fave nomadic trashy vampire!

Dear Cam-

We don’t talk nearly enough about the nomadic vampires around here… well besides our BFF Rachelle! We thought it was time we paid homage to our 2nd favorite BAD vamp (yes, Rachelle/Victoria will always be our first) and your awesome portrayal of James. Don’t tell anyone but sometimes when I’m watching the movie or reading the book I wish you would have gone a little off script and totally killed Bella. I mean all that whining and blinking and crap gets old after a while. But I guess they wouldn’t let that happen, what with killing the heroine and needing to finish the rest of saga and all. Oh well, a girl can dream can’t she?

So anycrap…

First can we talk about how flipping cute you are in the Gap ads? During Christmas you were the only thing keeping me from going postal in the mall. Whenever I was feeling particularly NOT FULL OF CHEER I would find the nearest Gap and look at your face and then know I could make it through a few more stores…

Seriously though, can we talk about your wig/look in Twilight? I mean we know they screwed up everyone else’s wigs but yours looked especially white-trashy. And maybe that’s the look they were going for but I was thinking they should have gone more just plain HOT cause you’re a vampire after all and totes cute sauce in real life!

It’s kinda too bad they killed you off… well maybe not, watching Alice rip your head off is just “good programming.”

But if they somehow figured out a way for you to come back and reek havoc on Forks or just sneak in and slap Bella I wouldn’t be mad!

XO
Themoonisdown

PS who else is feeling Cam? Did anyone totally want to DO trashy James?

Moment of shameless self promotion: have you voted for us today in the Dazzle Awards as your favorite Rob Fansite (I mean really is there any other?) And since there was no category for Favorite Cam site, you gotta head over there and pick the next best thing. LTR!!

Making a list, checking it twice

Dear Cam-

Walking through the mall today was like being herded with a bunch of cattle. Then I saw your smiling face in Gap and it made it a smidge more bearable…

a smidge.

Thanks,
Me

Watch more of Cam at the Gap photoshoot… he says “my next future wife” uh what?

Cam Gigandet’s GAP Ad