Stuff people tell us about Twilight. That we already know

For example, we've already seen this hot pic of Ashley and discussed how we want to be lesbians with her (not the fake kind, either)

Dear people who email us,

We love you. We really do. We love hearing from you. Promise. Even though sometimes it stresses me out that every time I check my email (like every 5-7 minutes) I have 5-7 new emails from you. But we love you despite that. Even though we don’t have time to write back promptly, which makes me sad because we hate not being prompt. We still love you more than you know.

We love you even though you tell us things we already know. (Yes, we heard Kristen was caught wearing Rob’s shirt, and no, we don’t think it magically shrunk from a male size M to a female size XS so it now fits Kristen snugly.  There is a small chance they have the same shirt) We love you even though you tell us things 3 weeks late. (Yes, we heard Kristen held Jackson’s hand leaving dinner in Vancouver and no, we don’t think they’re secretly dating.) We love you even when 5-7 of you send us an email that says the exact same thing, with the exact same picture/post with the exact same plea to “Break it down” or post it as “2nd-hand embarrassment.” (We’ve seen every one of the Twilight/Edward/Rob tattoos possible and promise we’re so 2nd-hand embarrassed we’re not even sure how to respond)

We love you all.

And we are huge fans, just like you

We are bloggers. We do this full time. (Don’t tell our bosses)

We also know about this thing called “Google alerts” and also use them. If you have a google alert set for the words “Rob Pattinson” (which all good RPattz fans should), you will get the same exact alerts that we get. It’s magic. Hug Larry Page next time you see him.

We usually find out those 5-7 things you sent us before anyone else (Except for Gozde at Robsessed.. that girl knows everything- We swear she’s actually Rob)

If we did not post something you emailed us 5-7 times, it was intentional. Cuz we can’t break it all down. We’re not superwomen (Fine yes, we are.. .but we limit our super powers to a limited number of things)

So, if in the next 5-7 minutes you were planning on drafting the following topics in an email to us, maybe think twice.

• We’ve seen the Jizz in my Pants Twilight spoof & laughed hard. Like 6 months ago.
• Taylor got buff. We know. We stared.hard would never care about that because he is a child
• We will not feel bad if you send us hate mail because you bought the Edward Action figure thinking he’s be so awesome and so much fun, but it turns out he sucks. We told you that back in January. Just because we were the first to photograph him at random spots around the globe doesn’t mean it’s fun, in fact, it’s really 1st-hand embarassing.
• Yep, we’ve seen the Wolfpack.  Yep, they’re smokin’.  Yep, we wish they would have been in the trailer too. Yep, we think they’ll be in the next one. Nope, we can’t admit Taylor is hot, he’s a child.
• Yes. Seen the trailer. Finally admitting Taylor’s muscles are freakin’ hot. Arrest me, Chris Hansen. 17 is legal some places.

Love you 5-7 times more than you thought we did,
UC & Moon

This is not a post telling anyone to stop emailing us (unless you were about to press send on an email telling us Rob is in NYC- we KNOW), it is merely an excuse to use that hot picture of Ashley. Oh, and to also tell the girl who emailed us earlier (thinking we’re Rob) who is planning on telling her friends she found Rob Pattinson’s e-mail address that Rob is really looking forward to hearing from her.

-I have this weird thing where I have to mention Larry Page at least once a day.
-I think Moon is actually posting about seeing Sam Bradley this weekend on LTR. Go check now & e-mail her hate mail if she hasn’t shared with us her magical experience yet. I’ll give you her direct line at work to hate call her too.
-Guilty of e-mailing us news 6 months late? Follow us on Twitter and you’ll know whatever we know, whenever we know it
-Need more LTR or LTT and are sad we only post once per day? Go to the Forum & you’ll never be alone. (Seriously, we got 3 new viagara spammers yesterday who personally private messaged me asking for the e-mail addresses for lonely girls. Apparently they have a ‘fix’ for your lonliness)

Lovin’ 100Monkeys means you’ll be loved in return

Dear God, please let this girl's name be Bella

Dear girls who thought by seeing the 100Monkeys last night at The Khyber in Philly Rob will now declare his eternal love for you,

Did he? Did Rob call you this morning anxious to begin your love affair? I figured. Cuz there’s nothing that turns on an actor more than girls showing up to a co-star’s band’s show wearing Twilight T-shirts, showing off their Twilight tats, swinging their home-made Jasper handbags over their shoulders, wearing a monkey hat, carrying around a huge stuffed monkey and asking when “Jasper” is going on stage.

By bringing a Monkey to the 100Monkey's show, Rob will be so happy & make me his wife

How ever will Rob chose between you all?

Last night was amazing. Big hugs to all the LTT/LTRs I met. Real recap to come this week. It’s 2:16 am and I need my beauty rest if I am going to be at my best for Rob’s call in the am, declaring his love for me since I saw a show tonight where the lead singer happened to be in two movies with him and they may or may not be friends outside of work.

Love,
UnintendedChoice