2nd hand embarrassment: Eclipse Soundtrack commenters

June 8th here we come, ready or not!

Dear people who commented on the Chop Shop blog yesterday and people with Soundtrack sour grapes,

Are you people serious?

First I’ll start with the commenters on the Chop Shop music blog today. As we know Summit announced the tracklisting for the Eclipse Soundtrack today by rolling out a new artist and song every half hour to hour on MySpace and the Chop Shop blog. Now for those who don’t know, Chop Shop is the music supervision company owned by Alex Patsavas. The music supervisor is essentially the person who along with the director (and team) picks the music to be included in the movie and then clears it legally etc etc. I’ll save you the gory details.

So needless to say some of the comments on the Chop Shop blog today as they updated every hour with new tunes was tres embarrassing! Who goes to the blog of someone who essentially brought the craft of music supervision to the forefront and made shows like The OC, Grey’s Anatomy and Gossip Girl synonymous with great music while breaking MANY unknown bands and you DOG their choices and their (award winning) taste? That’s like Alex and crew showing up at your McDonalds and telling you you’re not flipping burgers right. Have some respect man.  Sure everyone’s entitled to their opinion but not when you like shitty music.

I was hesitant to even write this for fear of coming off like a total snob but I don’t really care especially when it comes to music. I hope you’ll understand and bear with me… let’s take a few comments for example:

Not showing up on a soundtrack near you.....

i am very disappointed that Adam Lambert didn’t make the cut. If you look at all the Eclipse Soundtrack polls ADAM LAMBERT was always a front runner on them. You guys just lost ALOT of sales…. hope your happy. – Katie

Like FOR REALS?!! ADAM LAMBERT?! What part of glam rock American Idol fits into this story line besides the sparkling? And secondly Eclipse Soundtrack polls?! WHAT? WHERE? How old are you?

I was really hoping Candace Charee would be on the Eclipse soundtrack but I understand you got her music too late to be considered. You know, Candace’s music is influenced by Twilight – how many of the artists on this album can say that? Have even read the books? Maybe, Vampire weekend and Muse have read the books. So, for your consideration, Candace Charee. – JoAnn

WHO? And just because it’s sent to Chop Shop and is influenced by Twilight means about… ohh… zero! And if what you think is true I would die to have a conversation with Ezra Koenig about Twilight. Then I would hump his leg. And be like why are we talking about Twilight? You’re Ezra Koenig and you’re HOT! Do me now!

Wait I found this Candace Charee… um there’s a reason she’s not on here.

Trust pays off!

I think It is great! I am happy with the diversity of this soundtrack! I know the fans are really excited by the choices! We cannot wait to hear who is next!!! Thank you for listening to the fans!
hugs
Candace Charee’

Spoiler Alert Candace, you will not be one of them. Ever.

Would LOVE to see some Blue October, Saliva, or Band of Horses on here. 100 Monkeys would be an awesome addition as well. Muse is always a must-have. This is a really fun way to reveal the soundtrack – love it!

SALIVA?! I almost cried from embarrassment when I read that earlier. And 100 Monkeys, I’m sorry folks maybe theyre fun in concert or whatever or even the fact Jackson is in the band, but I just DON’T see that ever happening. I mean tell me a 100 Monkeys song that fits the tone and mood of Twilight, cause I sure don’t know one.

Follow the cut to see me wild out on some more comments

My Edward/Jacob Manllow – A secret affair

The Edward "Manllow"

Dear LTT-ers, Twihards and makers of Twilight Merchandise,

Of ALL the things on the internet that are Twilight related and have come out over the past couple years the one I’ve been sent to most BY FAR has to be the Manllow!! Yes, EVERYONE and their iguana sent me (and UC) the link to that pillow shaped like a man with Edward or Jacob’s face printed on it on it.

And I must apologize for not returning all those emails because, honestly… I already have my own Manllow* and I’ve just been TOO busy this week with him/it to be bothered to write any of you back. Sorry Mom, sorry bill collectors, sorry BFF’s from high school looking to reconnect, sorry 8374349 Facebook notifications, sorry Grandma and sorry organ donor society emailing to tell me my new heart is available, I can’t write you back. I have a Manllow and I’m not afraid to sleep with it!

So why have I been too busy to answer my emails because of a Manllow, you say? What have I been doing with the Manllow?

Don't look now Jacob, Edward Manllow and I are having a private moment

• Watching movies and the entire 2nd season of Six Feet Under with my Manllow is a no-brainer. He holds the remote AND me while I cry over David and Keith’s lost love and the craziness that is Brenda (seriously can she die yet?)

• He’s also a great day bed and hang out spot for my 10 cats! They love purring in his arms when I’m away for the day. Manllow is NEVER lonely for company

• When I want a night in I cook a special dinner of Lean Cuisines for the both of us and pop the top on some Boone’s Farm Blue Hawaii, light a few candles and have a special romantic night for two

Oh and FYI the Manllow isn’t just for your bedroom, you can take the Manllow into public with you… here’s what I’ve done with my Manllow outside of the bedroom this week

Ain't no thang just a Manllow threesome

• I live in LA so traffic is horrendous! Our lovely Dept of Transportation provides HOV lanes for vehicles with more than one person riding in them and they go way faster than regular lanes. SO to save time on my way to see New Moon for the 8 gajillionth time I stuck my Manllow in the passenger seat and zoomed off down the freeway in search of popcorn and Face Punches!

• My Manllow and I snuggled at the movie theater with the armrest UP! Making out WITH Edward/Jacob WHILE watching New Moon in the theater? You should try it sometime, I HIGHLY suggest it

• Went for a picnic with my Manllow. Griffith Park will never be the same now that I’ve reenacted the Meadow Scene with the Edward Manllow. He sparkled and we talked about forever. It was magical. Sorry UC.

• I take my Manllow shopping with me. I stick him in the front basket of the grocery buggy and he points out everything he wants. Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Check! Cuties? Check! Cookies & Cream Dreyers Yogurt? Check! Cat Food? Check! Ladies Dove Deodorant? Check! I mean…

• For dinner I took my Edward/Jacob Manllow to Fridays so I could get the 2 for Tuesdays. Two appetizers, two dinner entress and two desserts all for 22.22! What a steal that I couldn’t have gotten without my Manllow. We even saw Cathy Hardwicke in the bar and she sent over a mucho Cougarita “for Rob, call me.” How nice was that?!

Love me, love my Manllow

So can you blame me, people? The Manllow and I are in love and just like Lars and Bianca in Lars & the Real Girl- we’re taking our love public and we’re here to stay regardless of public perception that I am a crazy lunatic. My Manllow loves me just the way I am.

My Manllow kinda makes me think of the Kid Sister/My Buddy that I had as a kid… only WAY more adult. Ifyouknowwhatimsaying. So all week I’ve been signing the theme song… sing it with me friends:

My Manllow, my Manllow… my Manllow aaaannddd mmeeee!

XO
Themoonisdown

Who has a Manllow on back order? Do you think I’m legit and actually really have a Manllow? What would YOU do with your Manllow?

I’d tell you to get your OWN Manllow but they’re SOLD OUT!

*HALE NO I do NOT own an Edward/Jacob Manllow and I’m allergic to cats!*

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

We wish you a Cullen Christmas

Dear LTTers,

Merry Christmas Eve! If you don’t celebrate Christmas, merry time of year when everyone says “Merry Christmas” to you and you look at them and say, “But I don’t celebrate Christmas” and they stare back at you, not understanding, in a santa hat!

Moon and I have objected ourselves to 2nd-hand embarrassment, yet again, to wish you a very Merry Christmas.

Love,

UC & Moon

After the jump, read all the wonderful lyrics penned by @Brookelockart, Moon & myself. Print them out and have a family sing-a-long around the dinner table tomorrow!

A Twilight blogger in need of help

Dear LTT Fashionistas,

I need help. I have a really important event to go to, and I need to make a really good impression. It’s important that I be ‘set apart’ at this event and really show my unique “UC-ness.” I thought of a few things- I love cats so I could wear whiskers (scratchy). I love cupcakes and I could constantly eat one (fattening). Then it hit me. Duh. Twilight.

So here’s what I have picked out for my outfit so far:

The shirt

Custom made t-shirt from this pattern found here via the ever helpful Google images.

The Pants

Pattinson Pants lady won’t return my call (I think she’s mad that we won’t post her TomStu pants- we told her “We don’t run letterstostu.com, Pattinson Pants lady”…) so I’m improvising here, but I’m pretty happy with how my very own “Creepy pics of Rob Pattinson Pants” came out:

The Shoes

I’ve had  my eye on these bad boys ever since I posted them in the Twilight art gallery a few months ago.  What a perfect time to break them in!

The Bag

This is where you all come in. I need help. There are so many options and I don’t know what to do.  Let me know which of the following bags are your favorite to complete my outfit:

There are SO many good options and it’s SO hard to decide! HELP!

(Psst: here is the outfit so far…. You can see how it really needs one of those bags to complete the look!)

Good catch! I DID leave a little room to show off my belly. Sexy, huh?

Thanks for your help! I’m really gonna SHINE at this event!

Love,
UnintendedChoice

PS: Just in case: How to tell if someone is using sarcasm

Discuss my outfit on The Forum
Tell Rob how jealous you are of my hottness on LTR

To the bag lady and cover purses lady on Etsy. Thank you for the beautiful items of which I can make fun.

And Thank you, April, for finding the perfect bag options to go along with my outfit!

AmandDUH’s at it again – Decode!!

Dear LTT-ers, train wreck lovers and video enthusiasts,

Our dear dear Twimom video vixen AmanDUh is at it again! And yes she’s gone back to covering songs and wouldn’t you know this time it’s Decode by Paramore. I about jumped out of my chair when I got the notification she had updated and she doesn’t let us down!

Looks like AmanDUH’s invested in a make up artist for this video. Yup she got eyeliner and what I can only assume is a  tear drop “tattoo” on her cheek. Now where I’m from that means something quite different that being sad. Thats just straight gangsta! Did she get in a prison gang fight at the ladies penitentury and kill one of her homies? DAAAYUM Amanduh’s hardcore! I better watch my back, she’s libel to cuttabitch. But really, I’m just glad she brought back “special” Edward for this video, I was beginning to miss him and his hairline.

Enjoy! And uh don’t turn up the volume too loud she hits a few notes that only dogs will be able to hear.

How did we get herAH?
Themoonisdown

-UC dazzles us with some Rob goodness over at Letters to Rob
– create your own video and post it at the forum so we can all laugh!

Making my Comic Con list and checking it twice! Gonna find out if New Moon is naughty or nice!

Ready or not, here we come!

Update: Moon really IS at ComicCon and she will really live tweet it. We’ll probably do an ongoing post here too. So check back lovies!

Dear Twilight cast and Comic Con attendees-

I’m sure you’ve been keeping up with our daily letters here and over at LTR so you know I’m going to be at Comic Con today to try and see you all. I’ve heard about the craziness from last year, people camping out, people screaming, the uber embarrassing ‘boxers or briefs’ question, yea I heard it all so I’ve been trying to prepare myself for the inevitable 2nd hand embarrassment I will have to endure and many moments of 2nd guessing the decision to go. But ya know what, I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Who else will be able to say they clawed and faught their way through hordes of Pattinson pants, Princess Leia’s or knocked out a kid in a YugeeOh costume and punched his dad, Spiderman? Oh the stories I will probably be able to tell… So to prepare for this momentous occasion I’ve created my Comic Con Preparedness Kit just like Homeland Security. They would be so proud!  So here we go…

My Comic Con 2009 Kit

These are the nerds I will be punching

• Paper bag –  if I get “the vapers” or someone around me looks like they’re going to pass out, we’ll use this for hyperventilation
• Xanax – for when Rob shows up and for when he doesn’t (hit it!). Bring whole bottle to pass out to Twihards so they will STFU with the screaming for 5 seconds
• Slutty shirt – there won’t be any Cullen crests gracing these boobs
• Power Bars and Energy Gel packets – This is an all day affair and we can’t be passing out BEFORE Rob even shows up. And of course we’re going to need energy for the “after” events. Uh huh.
• Camel Pack Hydration System – See now most people would use this for water. We’re going to eskew normality and go ahead and fill this up with some Grey Goose. Trust! Doing shots in the 50th row of chairs while Peter Facinelli talks about Carlisle’s scarves will RULE
• Steel toe boots – for the aforementioned kicking of costumed nerd ass

This guy too. Don't get in between me and the Cullens

• Rollie bag containing: Wedding dress, veil, hot roller set, Ring Bearer, Aqua Net, copy of Bella’s Engagement ring, Tuxedo in size 32 long. You know, just in case
• Ear plugs – Uh duh

So are you can see folks we are ready to rock this Comic Con or punch someone out. Either way we’ll be trying our darndest to get in the middle of the action and bring you Live Tweeting, Live Blogging, pics, video, and Rob’s undying love and affection. All for you!

Lacing up my steel toes
Themoonisdown

PS Make sure you’re following us on Twitter for up to the minute reports as they happen! Oh and if you’ll be there I would love to see you! I’ll be the one in an exact replica of Bella’s wedding gown with a Camel Pack of vodka on.

Letters to Rob
The Forum

A Twilight-themed Wedding

Dear UC & Moon,

I am writing to ask for your advice. I have recently gotten engaged & I was reading Eclipse & noticed Stephenie’s description of Bella’s Ring. My ring sounds almost identical! It was my fiancee’s grandmothers. I can’t believe the similarities between Bells & myself.  I met my fiancee when I was 17 and we fell in love very quickly.  Some would say we were a little obsessed with each other.  Well, after a few months, my now fiancee left me.  Yes- just like when Edward left Bella. It was basically a huge misunderstanding, but I was depressed for months. I lost 4 pounds and barely slept. After 2 months we got back together and have been together ever since! Isn’t that crazy?! Just like Bella & Edward! His name is Stu. I call him my Stuward. Anyway, when I realized the ring was just like Bella’s, it got me thinking- why don’t I have a Twilight-themed wedding!? Could you or your readers help me come up with ideas?

Love,
Twi-Bride to Be

Dear Twi-Bride to be,

YES! We love planning parties- planning a wedding can’t be that much different. And we LOVE Twilight, so combining a wedding with Twilight is a Win Win idea all around! This is so up our alley. We have 10 suggestions for you and some pictures that will hopefully provide inspiration!

1. The Books: First of all, we definitely recommend bringing Eclipse & Breaking Dawn with you whenever you meet with vendors for your wedding- especially for those very important dress shopping trips. You should make sure to always be thinking with your “Cullen eyes”- think about everything the way that Alice, Bella or Edward would…. (probably focus on the Alice part- Bella Eyes might take you to David’s Bridal! Oh the horror!)
2. Glitter: Don’t forget to adorn yourself in glitter. You need to be a sparkling beauty for all your guests. If The Stuward is a unique guy (and it sounds like he is) he might want to adorn himself in glitter as well.  For added effect, why don’t you have his chest exposed slightly- just have the buttons done half-way and have his jacket open.  If you have the extra money, dim the lights in the room & have a spotlight shine directly on his chest (that way the audience will really see him sparkle)
3. Bridesmaid flowers: Instead of flowers, your bridesmaids should carry red, satin ribbons. If you’re at a loss for the perfect bridesmaid accessory, why don’t you fashion a mask out of the eclipse ribbon? The girls can hold it up to their eyes when they feel it’s appropriate
4. Music: Walk down the aisle to something from the Twilight soundtrack.  It depends on what you’re like. If you want a party atmosphere, we suggest Perry Farrell’s “Go all the way.” If you’d like something more somber, maybe walk down to “Clair de Lune.” That’s probably a good choice as it’s pretty unique and probably hasnt’ been done in many weddings. If you want my honest opinion, I’d suggest walking down to “Never Think” by Robert Pattinson.  How beautiful would it be to walk toward your Stuward hearing the guy who played Edward sing a song? I have chills thinking of the moment…
5. The Vows: I know it’s trendy to write your own vows these days, but wouldn’t it be even trendier to have Edward & Bella write them for you? (Or… Stephenie Meyer?) Why don’t you try using only quotes from the 4 books (The Stuward could include some from Midnight Sun, if he wishes). Here is a quick example:To my darling Twi-Bride to be: Trust me. You look…sexy. Your number was up the first time I met you. I hope you enjoy dissapointment. It makes me…anxious… to be away from you. Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any concept at all of how much I love you? Look after my heart — I’ve left it with you. And the sound of your heart. It’s the most significant sound in my world. Tell me what you want, and you can have it. All of my best nights have happened since I met you. You love me more than I deserve.
6. The Centerpieces: We think your centerpieces could incorporate a little bit of everything from the book series. Might we suggest bringing a little bit of Isle Esme to your reception hall? How about starting with a replica of a headboard (if you want to really get crazy- crack it!) glue on some feathers, add an apple or two, place a few chess pieces strategically in the center & top it off with some of the ribbons your bridesmaids will be carrying- you’ll represent the books but also have something sensual for you and your Stuward to enjoy.
7. Flowers: The only flower you should use is the ruffled tulip- like the one on the front of New Moon. You could even give them out as your gifts- with a little card attached that says:”The lion fell in love with the lamb. But then he left the lamb for a little while, but then he came back and now the lion and lamb are married. Thank you for sharing in our joy”
8. The garter: After The Stuward removes the garter from your leg, when he’s walking around, hands in the air doing a celebratory dance, he should yell “I AM Spider Monkey.” It can be your little secret sign to each other about the monkey-business that will happen later that evening.
9. Blood: Obviously you can’t serve cups of blood at your reception (although that would be cool!) but you can pretend that you are! Dye everything red- use red wine, dye the water red, serve Bloody Marys & red jello shots. Spill red spots all over the white tableclothes – Ooh dip the edge of your dress in red dye!
10. The Honeymoon: I assume you’re saving your virtue for your wedding night, as Bella & Edward did, so that’s taken care of. Have you been searching for french lingere? You know that’s the only kind Alice would approve of.  Just a few honeymoon tips from a gal who’s already experienced her Isle Esme: Use lines in the Twilight series’ as dirty talk.  We already mentioned “Spider Monkey” above, but that comes in handy quite often. You have no idea what it does to a guy when he hears “Spider Monkey” roll off your tounge. Another good one is “My Monkey Man.” (especially appropriate when he shows you his banana for the first time)  When you’re ready to see your Stuward in the buff, demand to see his “Buttcrack Santa.” He’ll get a laugh out of it and it will ease the tension.  You could even get him a little Santa hat and have him wear that (and only that) for your first time!

Please please PLEASE send us pictures so that we can see what it turned out like! (We’d especially like to see The Stuward in that Santa hat!) Good luck & Congratulations!
you are an idiot if you mirror yoru wedding after twilight

Love,

UC & Moon

don’t be an idiot

Don’t ever do this for your wedding. Don’t ever ever ever ever ever mirror your wedding after a book about vampires. Ever. If you do decide not to take our advice, use the following art board for inspiration:

twilight wedding by kissthegirl

and use this:

AND NOTHING ELSE: Do not google “twilight-themed wedding inspiration” DON’T DO IT! You will regret it….

i heart rob

Have a question for your Aunties Moon & UC? Email it to us at letterstotwilight@gmail.com & we would be happy to answer it and maybe even feature you as a post!

rob hearts me back

Today is the last day! Send us in your Twi-Porn for our Porn-off with The Twilight Sisterhood!

Holy crap – 2nd hand embarrassing New Moon fanmade video

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s that time again, YUP time to be 2nd hand embarrassed by a fellow “fan” of Twilight. And today I bring you an extra ambitious fan who not only created a New Moon trailer, but wrote the script, acted in it (as Bella of course), SANG the music and enlisted her husband/some dude to play Edward. Oh yes, we have a live Edward in this one. And not to be mean but I think she might have found him at the group home around the corner, promised him a part time job and then told him his job was to “be Edward. Claw my face with your paw as if I’m a glazed doughnut and don’t take the grill on the way out”

watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNclyinIGX8

Shhhh kids, mommy and daddy are trying to act like teenage vampires… go back to your room!

She actually had a few other Twilight related videos up and promised a video of her version of Twilight. Sadly, she’s taken them down but we still get this gem! She truly is a prolific video creator, songwriter AND author (of TWO books!)! Check it ALL out. Trust me.

Happy Saturday!
Themoonisdown

Check out LTR
and
The Forum

Watching the New Moon trailer – It’s all in the reaction!

Dear Twi-hards-

I love you so because I am one of you… deep down in my screaming 14yr old heart of hearts. I shouldn’t have to convince you: the blogs, the live blogging the awards, the mini edwards pics for goodness sake, that should tell you all you need to know. The only place I have yet to venture into (besides crafting wearable twilight pants) in my fandom is the reaction video! And boy are there some amazing ones out there. Some awesomely funny, some totally 2nd hand embarrassing and some like looking in a mirror. Recently, these reaction videos have been getting some major play around the internet and one gal in particular. She is actually one of UC and my favorite vloggers… she is so wild and crazy we almost can’t believe she exists in real life. No one can be this whacky or this devoted and just downright entertaining, right?? A few nights ago I was writing my blog post and who should i see on tv? None of other than our favorite vlogger, the light of our lives, NuttyMadam herself! They showed her on Vh1’s Best Day Ever, so of course like a weirdo I sent UC a text at 2 in the morning her time yelling (cause you can do that over text) SHE’S ON TV!!! OUR GIRL IS ON TV!!!!

And actually the wild thing is her New Moon reaction video isn’t her best one, sure she cries and yells crap like THE BEACH! but it’s nothing like her other greatest hits like the Twilight trailer reaction video or better yet when she goes off on Breaking Dawn haters!

Watch her and other folks’s New Moon Reaction videos… adjust your speakers accordingly, let out any small animals and remove glass objects from the vicinity of the computer…

She’s “gonna fangirl SOOOO hard.” Uh… don’t break anything dear.

Also check out her reactions AFTER seeing Twilight, like directly outside the theater door, trust me!

Grab some popcorn and take the jump to watch some of our other favorite reaction videos from the New Moon trailer…

Breaking it down, video style: exclusive video from New Moon!

Dear LTT-ers

If you haven’t seen this video yet where have you been? Not following our Twitter? Not hanging out in the forum? Off being an extra on set in Italy? Or perhaps you have a REAL job? Stop bragging. Well never the less we present to you 14 seconds that will make you lose your flipping mind, scream out loud and then hug your computer screen. All in about the span of 3 seconds. Trust.

Is it possible to break down like 4 actual seconds of dialogue and all from KStew? You bet your butts it is!

UC: I just had a heart attack
UC: Uh, she sounds like an effing man!
Moon: I’m gonna walk around all day doing that eyebrow lift while saying “KISS ME” in a deep voice. let’s see if the intern freaks!

and so of course without further adieu I embarrass myself in the name of the blog doing KStew’s man-voice and eyebrows…

(and next week in 2nd hand embarrassing videos…)

I must love you all!
Themoonisdown

If you didn’t know this Sunday we will be LIVE Blogging the MTV Movie awards with our pals at NewMoonMovie.Org, Lauren’s Bite and Twicrack Addict! Did you miss our announcement yesterday? Check it out here! Then come back and join us on the blog(s) (either one!) a lil’ before 9pm Sunday night (Eastern AND Pacific time in the US) to be apart of all the gossip, news and general freak outs during the MTV Movie Awards. Can you even imagine what we’re going to say about the New Moon trailer they’re going to be premiering?! Who’s with us?!