Twilight stuff that should not exist…. then some that should

Dear Twilight art lovers,

While we’re waiting for the leg hitch anything from David Slade & Summit, I thought we’d take a stroll through the Twilight Saga Art Gallery to see what’s new. What I love about this saga is all the crap it provides that I can make fun of that with each new movie, more and more people are inspired to make horrifying beautiful art. I hope their inspiration doesn’t wane. And I hope that with the new stills of Eclipse that we’re sure to see any day now and the eventual images of Taylor Lautner and a little girl from Toddlers and Tiara’s and the shots of Kristen Stewart with a prosthetic pregnant stomach when Breaking Dawn starts filming, some creative artists will make us drawings, paintings, sculptures and finger puppets so that the images of Taylor and a baby and Kristen with child can be etched in our minds forever. And with just the touch of a button and the virtual swipe of a credit card on Etsy, we can each have a physical reminder of the incredible creepiness of the storyline of a grown boy imprinting on a child powerful story of love between Edward & Bella.

First, an artful homage to Jacob Black

Good thing she copywrote this drawing. I was about to make 1,000 copies and sell them at the Remember Me premiere in March for Rob to sign. (Instead I’ll just bring him my Twilight books)

Something for your baby to wear in the church nursery

Oh you think this is just an attractive pic of Taylor Lautner shirtless? I did too. Look closely at what he’s touching

Let’s not forget about Jasper

The crazy thing is, he actually looks better here than he does in the movies….

And how about a little Robsten art love?

These little upside-down clay pots representing Bella & Edward come with a cardboard cut out of the Meadow scene for you to act out when your husband is asleep!

Don’t ask why. Ask why not!

Thankfully, there is GOOD Twilight art out there. Follow the jump to see some that might be new to you! Continue reading

RESPECT AmanDUH

Dear Friends,

I have a Cullen Frown for you today:

AmanDUH has removed her videos off YouTube.

Give yourself a minute. Yes. It’s true. We will no longer have her versions of Decode or her own vampire-themed creations or her reenactment of Twilight to bring us daily Cullen Smiles. My dissapointment is beyond words….

People all around the globe twitter are in an uproar over the news with laments, words of encouragement and expressions of their dissapointment

AmanDUH…thank you for being the queen of 2nd hand embarrassing!! That.Is.All

“it’s a sad day for the youtube world”

Maybe she’ll move on to do really disturbing fan fiction?

I’m just here lamenting over the fact that AmanDUH doesn’t want to share her “gift” with us any longer

why? WHY would she delete what the world was MEANT to see?! Who will I turn to when I am seeking out a girl in a 1993 striped shirt from kmart to sing to me about twilight?

Um… the world is safe once again?

I am guessing AmanDUH stopped publishing her great works because the response was overwhelming. She was starting to get as much attention as the actors themselves….yeah, thats probably it. I mean, I am suprised at the number of fan letters I myself sent her.

I don’t think I’ve ever watched AmanDUH’s videos before. But I can tell from the still of the video that once was that I’d rather walk in on them having sex then see them reenact Twilight (and that’s saying a lot because it looks like that dude has never had sex, and if there’s one thing I hate to watch, it’s awkward first times. )

Why AmanDUH? WHY!?

Thankfully, AmanDUH left us a (kinda long) video explaining why, where she discusses the haters (we are not included. Because we don’t hate. We love) & shows the mean comments & a message she received from someone saying they would kill her for making such bad music. WHO WOULD WANT TO KILL AMANDUH?

Elektra said:

I just thought she was in on the joke, making herself look goofy. I didn’t know she was taking it so seriously And there’s no real reason for anybody to say they’d like to kill her or her family or anything like that- that was uncalled for. We loved her!

Uncalled for. I’m MAD. So I call for RESPECT. RESPECT for AmanDUH, RESPECT for her art, RESPECT her for her ability to provide us with countless hours of laughter. No one brings us a Cullen Smile like AmanDUH

amanduh

Moon: AmanDUH I will miss your drawn-on tear drop tattoo, your belly dancing & bathroom sets. You are a rising star that shined too brightly for us to realize until you were gone.

UC: AmanDUH- I’m so sad to see you go. There is no one else who brings tears to my eyes because of laughter like you do. You are a STAR to me. A star of 2nd-hand embarrassing sure, but a star none the less. I will miss you and remember you fondly, always.

Love & respect,

UnintendedChoice & theMoonisDown

PS: AmanDUH has a private site here so if someone wants to pose as a real fan & get ‘inside’ so we can still have access to her videos, that’d be great

What will YOU miss about AmanDUH?

Try to cheer up on LTR
or maybe you’ll find your smile on The Forum

*MTV Movie Awards – Moon will be live tweeting/blogging/whatevering the MTV Movie Awards tomorrow night from her very own viewing party at the Moon McMansion in Los Angeles with a bunch of crazy Twi Hards (ok friends who might read LTT and love Twi)! We hope you’ll join us from wherever you are as we SQUEE our way through the New Moon Trailer and video for Meet Me on the Equinox. Follow us! See ya there!*

Twilight museum of art (and crap)

Dear Fans of LTT and Fans of art,

We spend so much time making fun of things on LTT that I bet most people think Moon & I are the meanest people in real life. We’re not usually. I thought it was time to celebrate some of the beautiful things that come out of the fandom. Cuz there are some. I’m being serious. Don’t think that I’m gonna pretend like they’re great & then show you the most second-hand embarrassing art EVER that surely would star in the “Second-Hand Embarrassing Art Museum” in Manhattan (that doesn’t exist… yet)

Let’s stroll together through the Twilight Museum of Art….

Twilight___New_Moon_by_ember_snow

This scene found on google images beautifully depicts the theme of racism throughout the Twilight Saga. Wait. Were you aware of those themes? That instead of being a story of girl stuck between vampire & werewolf it’s really a story of a girl choosing between those paler than her or darker than her? Me neither. Okay, so maybe that’s not what the artist was trying to say, but isn’t art in the eye of the beholder? That’s what I saw here, but I still think it’s beautiful!

Alice_by_RinianAlice, drawn by Rinian, looks as cute as I had pictured her while reading the series. I wish I could be best friends with a cartoon character

eclipse___Tied_Up_by_shirohatoLOVE this picture of Bella and the two different colored ribbons representing the choice she has to make. Also love that she seems like a ballerina because, I don’t know about you, but I could’ve used less of a klutzy Bella.  By shirohato

Rosalie__s_Unhappy_Ending_by_Eclipse_AwayThis is my favorite piece that I’m sharing with you on our journey through the Twilight museum of art. The artist explained that this is a representation of Rosalie’s unhappy ending. If you look closely you’ll see her ghost in the picture, too. I have goosebumps. Found here on deviant art

bellaedwardThere is so much Bella & Edward art out there. Mostly because there are so many great pictures of Robert & Kristen together- so people just use their pictures as inspiration. While often times they can be good (although mostly they’re not), I love this because it’s the artist’s vision of Edward & Bella. Plus added with the quote from New Moon (appropriate placed- not inked in an armpit or doodled on the back of a minivan) it’s incredibly powerful! Found here

See! Wasn’t that fun!? To take a walk through the Twilight art gallery and, maybe laugh a little less, but instead be inspired!? And Look at me! I am being so nice today. Come on- you have to admit it, you like nice UC….

Fine… it’s hard for me too.. I’ll cave… after the jump, enjoy the good stuff…. Continue reading

Give me my money back! Kellan Lutz will no longer be Twilight-Cruising

twilightcruiseDear Kellan,

I was devastated when I found out you won’t be going on the Twilight Cruise in August of 2010. Seriously. Devastated. I actually said out loud, “Aww shucks!” It’s not going to be the same without you there peeling shrimp with me at the midnight seafood buffet. And who will I do the macarena with now, and how am I going to find a new duet partner to sing Islands in the Stream with me during late night karaoke? And I was planning on dressing as Rosalie during the Twilight-Prom themed “formal night” and going to ask you to dress up as Emmett so we could grind together to Paramore songs.

In the beginning...God created Kellan. And he looked good"

In the beginning...God created Kellan. And he looked good"

But now, who’s gonna judge the “Twilight t-shirt, wet-t-shirt” contest and what about leading prayer the morning after the wet t-shirt contest when we regret the fornicating we did that evening after I won?  And in the off chance that the ship starts to sink, you were my #1 choice to lead us in singing our favorite hymns as we plunge into the icy waters. Who’s gonna fill your shoes now!? Alex Meraz? Humph- it’s clear that he does not have the same commitment to his spiritual life that you do.  Have you seen his shirtless pictures? Completely man-whorish. At least with your shirtless pictures it’s clear you’re just trying to teach the children the story of how Adam was put here on this earth by God in a perfect form- naked and unashamed. You are truly a Biblical example.

"Buttcrack Santa"

Say "Berry Cobbler"

Obviously Alex Meraz is a last-resort choice and no one will come close to you, but I do have some suggestions for the Twilight Cruise planners for who might come in at a close second. #1: The person who cleaned the trailers on the set(s). Now that person would be interesting to talk to. What did they find? What did Rob eat? Did they come across any condoms? What were the results of the DNA test they ran (obviously) after picking up the used condoms? This would be a perfect session to hold in the grand ballroom on Day 1 of the cruise. #2 That waitress (Cora) from the diner, Ayanna Berkshire. What an interesting choice she would be to lead a discussion on the why’s and how’s she went about the line “Buttcrack Santa?” Quick teaser from my list of Top 10 things I want to ask Ayanna Berkshire: “How many times did you have to do the scene where you said “The boys wanna know” since you were talking about the oldest looking lumberjack grandpas on the planet? Ha! “The Boys…” good one.”

While your place will never be filled completely, I believe either one of these options gets us closer to the magic that would have happened with the infamous Kellan Lutz, womanizer, lover of all sorts of Twilight fans- short ones, tall ones, hot ones, fat ones, skinny ones, pretty ones, hot ones, not pretty ones, old ones, young ones, hot ones- on board. I just really need to express my deep disappointment that you won’t be there. Because you, Kellan Lutz, lover of Twilight fans, lover of shirtless pictures, lover of talking about your small role in the Twilight saga, would be an incredible addition to a boat full of thousands of twi-hards, floating at sea for a full seven days never giving you a moments peace from their demands to sign their paperback books, posters of Rob, twilight chuck taylors & breasts.

My heart will go on,
UnintendedChoice

*Little Tip from UC & Moon, gals who would never ever in a million years subject ourselves to the 2nd-hand embarrassment of a Twilight cruise, don’t book your tickets now. They say Ashley & Alex are committed- and they are, but only until they have a conflict with another film. Which they will. It’s so far in advance. Plus, it’s not going to sell out. (Oh my gosh… if a Twilight Cruise sells out….. I am really ashamed to be a fan….)

Let me tell you what Jena does in The Forum for us all. She posts literally every video of Rob EVER. Cuz she rules. And we love her. Find them all here

And check out what Moon has for us & Robbie on LTR