All the Twilight news that’s fit to print – Unicorns and lots of BooBoo’s

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Xavier: I thought I was supposed to be deaf? Ash: Trust me, that excuse only works once!

Dear LTT-ers,

There comes a time every few weeks or so that we have to do a news dump because there’s simply too much news and not enough letters in the day. So here’s all the news we think you should know about but couldn’t cover.

Extra, Extra, Read all about it!
Themoonisdown

  • Our BFF Ashley Greene gets a Twitter and proceeds to lull us to sleep with tweets of her sleeping habits and stories of buying dog food. There’s something to be said about keeping the mystery, isn’t there? Love you BFF!
  • Dude, Xavier did you forget what I told you to say if Jackson invited you to a 100 Monkeys show!? Did he not think you were deaf or sick with food poisoning? In other news, HIGH FIVE for going with Ashley, maybe you’ll be the lucky SOB to finally figure out she’s a hot piece, while the rest of that numbnuts cast wonders why they don’t have a girlfriend, or why theirs smells of grease.
  • Both Melissa Rosenberg and Justin Chon dish that Eclipse will be a much “darker” film. No really? This is the book in that saga that contains the story of Jasper’s shady past, killing innumerable people, the turning and training of a newborn vampire army, the rape of Rosalie at the hands of her fiance, and fight training all culminating in arguably the saga’s most satisfying moment of conflict: the battle. So “dark,” you say? NO DUH!
Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

Jacob hungry! Me want filet-o-fish!

  • New Moon Action figures go on sale at Hot Topic. Is it just us or does Jacob look a little “special” in the face?
  • Little Jacky is photographed with a boo-boo (not the kid playing Seth) Tuesday. No one knows whether it was his hand, his head or that terrible wig that was injured. I’m hoping he broke his hand after punching out the wig department after he saw his reflection in the mirror. Jackson Rathbone-r: kicking ass and NOT taking names!
  • Little BooBoo Stewart gets his first tattoo! Awww, they grow up so fast, don’t they? How friggin cute is this kid?!

Follow the cut for more news, shirtless Kellan and Jackson the Unicorn!
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New Moon Trailer – Breaking it Down! And ordering a Sleep Number Bed

Dear LTT-ers,

You know one of our favorite things to do is ramble on about Twilight and Rob and have extended chats about everything in the twi-world which we dubbed “Breaking it down Vanity Fair style” in homage to our very first chat of this nature that spurred the creation of this blog. SOOOO when the new trailer came out Sunday night and after many folks requested we break it down, here we are BREAKIN’ IT DOWN for you! And as usual it devolves into a chat about something completely different but yet oddly related to Twilight. So since this is a loooong one… grab a cocktail (or a diet coke) and settle in as UC, Calli and I break this shiz down!

UGGGGhhh uuhhh AHHH!!
Themoonisdown


(refresh yo memory… as if you need it)

bellwaitwhat

Wait, Carlisle is HOW old??

The one where Bella second guesses this whole thing…
Moon:
ok burning daylight, lets hit it
Moon: i love that because cathy was so fail and didn’t include some of the volturi legend they have to do all this backtracking… “the volturi?! who’s that?! they have LAWS??” Yea you should have known that from the last book Bella.
UC: wasting chris weitz’ precious time
Calliope: she’s all like HOLD UP BACKUP
UC: and while youre at it.. who is buttcrack santa again? This changes EVERYTHING!
Calliope: wtf didn’t you tell me about this LAST TIME
UC: I wouldn’t’ have fallen in love with you had I known about the Volturi! Carlisle is HOW OLD? Dude? I’m crushing on you’re 300something year old dad?
Moon: I’m not sure I wanna date you now Edward, is that Newton kid still down?
Calliope: I bet Edward says.. “Second thoughts bella?” all assholey on her like “TOLD YOU SO”
Calliope: she’s like … hold up… you’ve been celibate for HOW LONG
Moon: HAHAHA FOR THIS?!
UC: wait.. you eat MOUNTAIN LIONS? Ew
Moon: this changes everything! Trailer fades to black. The end
Calliope: yeah though granted, it makes more sense to discuss the volturi now, for the non-readers (all 10 of them) to have movie flow
UC: good job cathy the cougar
Calliope: but seriously. Bella needed this info LAST movie
UC: right… we really do need to worry about the 10 ppl left in the world who haven’t read
Moon: and dont forget they still have to touch on jaspers special power
UC: and they did NOTHING with the Alice story
Calliope: “wait a second,… jasper controls my emotions?!?! WTF edward… i trusted you!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
UC: So it’s Jasper that’s been making me feel that tingly feeling down there? I thought you were skilled!
Moon: so my first unicorn was all a ruse by you and your emotion altering BROTHER?! What kind of sick family is this?!
Calliope: Oh edward… clearly this is his first relationship. Edward is suck a fail boyfriend… just tells her what he wants her to hear.

Wanna see what else we talked about? Hint: Matlock, Mattresses and Afros… YUP follow the cut
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Our top ten favorite moments in Twilight, the movie

Dear LTT/LTR-ers and Twihards, lovers and haters of this site,

Today is another big day in the life of us here at LTT. Yes, you might have guessed it but today marks our TEN MONTH anniversary. Now not to get all high school relationship on you but we think blogging solid for ten months is a big deal. Countless hours, love, conversations, text messages, good ideas, really bad ideas (trust me, there are tons), blood sweat and tears have gone into these ten months so UC and I want to celebrate this week. In honor of our ten month anniversary we are going to be bringing you a new top ten list every day this week to celebrate and look towards the next ten!

So to kick off our top tens I’m gonna start us off with Top Ten Favorite Twilight Movie Moments! All the little things, the good and the sometimes cheesy things that we loved and couldn’t imagine living without. All the moments that we wanted to see make it in, the ones we didn’t know and the ones that made us fall in love with the story all over again… here they are

10. The Cullen’s enter the Cafeteria

The set up for the whole movie: who are those kids and why are they different and most importantly WHO IS THAT BOY? Why yes, it’s only the hottest boy to ever grace the United States public school system, that’s who. And he just happens to be a Vampire. Ok wait, she’ll learn that later… let’s not get ahead of ourselves now!

09. Animal Attack

Oh Carlisle you kill us with the delivery of that line coupled with the totally obvious stare down you give Edward. Yup, it was totally an animal that killed Buttcrack Santa and not some crazy psycho nomadic vampire that’s going to develop some weirdo fascination with Bella and stop at nothing to kill her. Yup, totes an animal.

Wanna find out what else made our top ten list of favorite Twilight Movie Moments? Follow the cut…
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Happy 4th of July from the Twilight gang

flying-flagDear LTT readers,

The crew over at the Cullen house asked us to pass along their tips & advice to enjoy the best Independence Day possible!

(If you’re not from the US and not celebrating the holiday today, you could still take to heart these words of wisdom)

Carlisle: Practice safety while using fireworks. The 4th of July is the most dangerous holiday in the US due to misuse of fireworks. Most loss of limbs could be prevented- it is due to stupid mistakes from people not following instruction (When it’s not due to stupid mistakes, it’s usually the fault of my son, Jasper, but I don’t write that on the medical report)

Esme: If you don’t want to cook Italiano, try my favorite recipe. All the Cullens love it on special occasions. Hunt a fresh mountain lion and a fresh grizzly bear. Track them down, stalk them, pounce and then kill them. Drag them back to the family house and then drink the blood. Sprinkle with love and stir in good times.

Rosalie: When I was a human, I celebrated 4th of July every year by being crowned the Independence Queen at the Rochester, NY Independence Day fair. Of course, I never intended to become a vampire, so I don’t celebrate the holiday anymore.

Emmett: My advice is simple- get yourself a hot girl, a keg (I prefer a deer blood keg) and a raw bear burger. Grab the fam- play a lil baseball and you’re set!

Bella: I find to keep your child occupied during the day, if you have no other children for him/her to play with, it is best to invest in a dog.  In our case, we have a wolf. And while you’re at it, if your kids are playing with wolves, why not let them play in traffic too.

Edward: I’ve learned that if you have accident-prone or klutzy people in your family, it’s best to keep them away from the grill, the fireworks, the stick you use for s’mores, the diving board on the pool, the volleyball court and the local Native American reservation. (If you have a reservation near by, you’d probably be safest to lock up your loved one…) Another tip that you can learn from my mistakes is to practice safe sex. You never know if someone’s semen, though it should be venemous, is actually safe & will produce a half-vampire child. Even Alice didn’t see that one coming…

Alice: It is not okay to help yourself to seconds or grab an extra large piece of patriotic cake. I know you think you’re going to exercise tomorrow, but trust me. You won’t. You can always bet on me

Jasper: Are you usually the one who laughs at the people wearing the flag t-shirts whistling “America the Beautiful” all day long? Don’t really feel like you have a patriotic spirit? Don’t worry. This year, with my help, you will wake up with the Star Spangled Banner stuck in your head all day, which you will sing, loudly, for everyone to hear. And forget a flag t-shirt, you’re going to be inspired to collect all the flags in your neighbor’s yards & sew together your very own, custom, patriotic flag-outfit (similar to this one (UC note- don’t click unless you want to see a big girl almost naked, seriously) here.) You will feel patriotic this holiday, with my help!

Advice from UC & Moon: Feel free to make this your desktop background:

4thofjuly_LTT

And make sure to listen to this song:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Happy 4th of July!
Love,
UC & Moon & all the Cullens

Celebrate with Rob over on LTR

Not going to a picnic today (why not!? you should’ve told me- I would have invited you over!) play in The Forum

We are both out and about all weekend, so we may not approve your comment right away if it’s in moderation. Just chillax- enjoy. Eat a hot dog, or a raw bear burger if you’d rather! XO

It’s a Twilight Father’s Day

To all the Twilight daddy’s: Carlisle Cullen, Billy Black, Charlie, Harry Clearwater, Big-Daddy Lautner & Edward,

A big HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to the whole group of you from Moon & I.  We love you all so much, we couldn’t pick one fav to write to today so we’re writing to you all (just kidding, Big Daddy-Lautner, you know you’re our fav).  Actually your kids are writing to you because we have our own daddys to take care of (although ours aren’t as cool as a vampire, Native American, cop or McDonald’s spokesperson…)

Enjoy your day! Go on over to Harry’s and grill out with his famous fish fry!
<3, UC & Moon

carlisleDear Carlisle,

Edward: Thank you for saving me from the Spanish Influenza & capturing my 17 year old perfection for eternity. Thank you for your encouragement to stay strong and not kill my beloved Bella &, of course, for the rockin’ sex tips. Although next time, I’d prefer it if you’d not get so detailed on how much Esme, my mother, likes to do that there.

Rosalie: Thank you, Carlisle, for changing my darling Emmett after he was attacked by that bear.  I’ll be honest I’m not crazy about how all that shit when down with Edward.  Why the hell didn’t you prep him first and convince him to love me? Also, I’ll deep down hate you forever for turning me into a vampire in the first place. Couldn’t you have let me die? F*ck y Oh yeah, this isn’t about me. Happy Father’s day Dad…

Emmett: Thanks for my smokin’ hot girl, Rose. And for that tip on how much mom likes that there- now Rose does too!

Alice & Jasper: (UC note: Uh, we couldn’t exactly find Alice & Jasper…. seems Jasper may have recently had a conversation with you, Carlisle? Something about something somewhere…..?)

Carlisle might be the reason we have Edward & so we’re the most grateful to him, but he’s not the only daddy! See all the other letters after the jump! Continue reading

Bad case of lovin’ Dr. Cullen

We haven’t posted a fan letter in awhile on LTT and have never posted a letter to Carlisle. It’s high time the Doctor gets some lovin’ too!

damages_facinelliDear Dr. Cullen-

Alright. This isn’t easy for me…. but I think it needs to be said.

I love you.

I was in denial for a long time. I thought Edward was the only vampire for me. You were a father figure to me while I read the books, and I loved you, but in a completely non-sexual kind of way. You were kind of Dumbledore-esque— a wise, mysterious older man that has all the answers and an incredible gift for what he does.

But then… somewhere in the wee morning hours of November 21st 2008, you pushed your way through that emergency room door and into my pants heart. It hit me like a ton of bricks…. Being in my early 20’s myself, I thought—realistically—who would I rather have: a 17 year old virginal vampire, or a 23 year old vampire doctor with 300+ years of *ahem* “life” experience, known for his unparalleled compassion and being extreme skillful with his hands?

dr-cullenSo Carlisle, I just can’t help myself. I want to have bed breaking, house crushing, mind-blowingly awesome vampire sex with you!! (Even if it means a half human half vampire baby will break my spine and eat its way out of my body…).

I mean, what’s one night of lust with a Twilight fan when you’ve got eternity?! Seriously?!?! I’ll have a chat with Esme if you want me to. I’m sure she won’t mind. Hell, Esme could come too! As long as she promised never to wear that stupid hat from the baseball scene again (Let’s not lie, it made her head look a good 6 inches taller than any normally proportioned head should be… not to mention it brought attention to her *ahem* “extraordinarily realistic wig”).

Furthermore, based on the amount videos montages of you I’ve seen set to Sexyback and Doctor Doctor, I know that I’m not the only one with these feelings. If you won’t indulge me with one night of pleasure… then I will ask you this:

Since you’ve lived through the entire history of modern medicine… do us all a favor, and spend the next 100 years as a gynecologist.

Carlisle Cullen, OBGYN. I think it has a nice ring to it.

Call me!

-Schön Duck

A birthday party with the Cullens

Dear Moon,

Tonight, the Cullen family cordially invites you over to their home to celebrate your birthday.  I know you don’t like surprises, so I snooped around to see what gifts the family was going to surprise you with and I have some advice:

carlisleesmeCarlisle is going to let you get any medical procedure at 10% off (Tues-Fri. only) although he is willing to “change you” for free. He also offered to introduce you to his son….

Esme promises to hug you often, but more gentle than any other member of the family. And if you were to hit if off with that son that Carlisle mentioned, she is offering free advice on being intimate with a vampire…

a

edwardEdward promises to lend you his jacket for the evening as well as hitch your leg over his hip.

If that’s not good enough, you can take a spin in his volvo- I hear the seats go all the way back, if you know what I’m saying. (This is where Esme’s advice will come in handy!) Remember to take your birth control pill!

a

a

_rosalie_haleRosalie has graciously offered to stay out of your way for most of the evening. She also has promised to keep her jealousy of you under wraps.

And that pesky little girl who follows Edward around? Bella something…? Well, Rose promises to be a fake lesbian with her for the night so you and Edward have some alone time (Wait.. is the fake lesbian theme in the Twilight Saga at all? Cuz the lines between twi-reality & our blog-reality are blurring…)

a

a

emmettcullenBear hugs are Emmett’s specialty, and he loves giving them out. Watch out though- he might get a little frisky and try to turn them into “special hugs.”

After your done with his hugs, ask him to read you his favorite Bible story- the one about Samson.  He can’t get enough of Bible characters with superhuman strength!

a

a

Alice-Cullen-twilight-movie-2185809-800-600Besides Edward, Alice is going to be the best thing about your birthday party! Not only will Alice tell you whether or not you’ll need that ‘intimacy with a vampire’ advice from Esme, but she’ll let you know what other presents Edward is surprising you with (ya know, just so you know how much you need to thank him)

Not sure what to wear tonight? No prob! Alice will be at your house 1 hour early with 2 bags full of high-end designer options. Plus she’ll do your hair & your make-up…..! You’re gonna look so smokin’ at this party that Rosalie won’t stick by her promise to keep her jealousy in check- plus Emmett & Jasper are gonna be begging Edward for details on your two…. (no pressure…)

a

JasperHaleUh, Jasper won’t be there. He isn’t invited to birthday parties anymore…. the last one didn’t go so well…

a

Enjoy your night! Happy birthday! Remember.. I’m the first to know all hook-up with Edward details!

XO,
UnintendedChoice

PS: See what Rob & The Quad did for Moon’s big day over at Letters To Rob

Peter Facinelli: Dr Cullen and Mike Dexter all rolled into one

Oh he likes long walks on the beach... pepperoni pizza and the color blue. SO DO I!!!

OMG Rob likes long walks on the beach... pepperoni pizza and the color blue. SO DO I!!!

Dear Peter-

Why are you the coolest person ever? Fo realz… EVER!

This is probably one of my favoritest pictures I’ve ever seen of you because this shows that you totally get it! If I was an actor in the Twilight saga I would be doing this stuff all day long. Carrying around a Bop magazine, making shirts that say “I boned Rob last night,” and going to get coffee while wearing said shirt. You know, normal stuff!

So, I know we haven’t talked much about you yet here on Letters to Twilight but I just couldn’t figure out exactly what I wanted to say about the MIKE DEXTER! I mean “…Mike Dexter is a God, Mike Dexter is a role model, Mike Dexter is an asshole!” Seriously, that’s the exact thing that went through my head when you came on screen for the first time in Twilight because “Can’t Hardly Wait” is one of my favorite movies. So much win and you’re a huge part of that. You can play the jerk- a-hole- jock like no other! But then you totally flip the switch and play Dr. Cullen like you were born for the part. Minus the blond hair. I truly can’t imagine anyone else as Carlisle.

But seriously please keep this stuff up you’re making all this set stalking/crazy fan/paparazzi madness bearable by staging pictures like this! I thought about not looking at paparazzi or set pics for a while cause I was SO over seeing Nikki Reed parading around Vancouver or weirdo fans stalking KStew in the bathroom but then look what I’d be missing out on, gems like this!

Keep on keepin’ on Peter! We ❤ you here!
Themoonisdown

See more Mike Dexter/Peter Facinelli AWESOMENESS after the cut Continue reading

Let’s hear it for the boys!

Dear LTT readers-

I know we made a New Years resolution to bring you more letters to the Twilight ladies. And we have! We’ve talked about them A LOT lately, in fact. But let’s get real here, we know why we all come here on a daily basis (besides extreme boredom at work). It’s to see some hot Cullen Boys action! That’s right, enough with the fake lesbo’s and girl talk and the mani/pedi’s- let’s get to the real deal, I’m talking hot Edward, Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle action!

Bella who?
themoonisdown

More Cullen boy video goodness after the jump…
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