Breaking it down: Eclipse Sneak peek, threesomes, S&M workouts and Chippendales

Dear Eclipse Sneak Peek,

You’re just TOO good, too full of lol’s and wtf’s for us to let you pass by without breaking it down. All 5+ minutes. Yup, we’re breaking down the Eclipse sneak peek and away we go…

Moon: ok  here it is!

UC: let’s mother effing DO THIS
Moon: Wait, DUDE the little chocolatiers promo AGAIN!i love it.ok, I’m ready
UC: DAMN RILEY IS HOT
Moon: dude im so glad they got someone on etsy to make the clacker thingy that marks in the time for a scene
UC: aww david slade- so small, gay… short..
Moon: ps same cinematopgrapher as NM just saw that. so there will be SOME sort of continuity


UC: KELLAN HAS MAN BOOBS, I stopped it ON HIS BIG ASS BOOBS that are bigger than mine
Moon: THERES SO MUCH What, where are the boobs!?
UC: Haha he stands up like 29/30 major boobage
Moon: why is kellan wearing an off the shoulder top?
UC: I HAVE THAT SHIRT
Moon: like he took his sweatshirt and cut off the neckband
UC: he was at an 80s party earlier that day
Moon: he should be jazzercising or getting “physical” with Olivia Newton John and not kicking nomad vampire ass
UC: he needs a bra
Moon: you think he does that exercise from Judy Blume novels? “i must i must i must increase my bust” at night since like vampires dont sleep and he has nothing else to do
UC: yes, and it works but not for me. He has a perfect woman. with a big bust herself and he’s jealous she’s not always there… for him to caress the chest so … he grew his own
Moon: hahaha he can feel himself up
c

wait, Victoria's after BELLA?!

Moon: i just want to hear xaviers voice again. he better have a big part in the press for this
UC: um i think he will. look at his face it’s hot
UC: okay… this is seriously beating a dead horse…poor horse…but can we once and for all get it out of our system and LAMENT over Kristen’s awful wig?
Moon: HAHAHA and bryce’s while we’re at it. I feel bad she had to do an interview wearing it
Moon: at 38 she and david slade are having the most intense staring contest. i bet she won
UC: i THINK that Taylor just found out WHY victoria is upset he’s like…. “Bella is the reason that victoria is mad. SHe basically KILLED james” he had like a lightbulb go off in this interview..
Moon: he’s like DUDE thats why??!! and he turns around to ask kristen off camera and shes like DUH, haven’t you read this crap yet? So they cut to her and Kristen’s has to explain it
UC: nope- he’s too busy with his ka-rah-tay to have actually read the books
c
Follow the cut for threesomes, Rob running on the hampster wheel and the REAL story behind Eclipse
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Breaking it down: Eclipse Trailer, sperm donation and the Notebook

Dear LTT-ers,

SURPRISE, we broke down the Eclipse trailer, I mean what else did you expect us to do? We finally got something new from Eclipse and had to share our joy and horror and excitement and totally wild ideas together!

If you haven’t seen it yet (what the crap have you been doing?!) Here it is…

0-:25ish
UC: okay… let’s DO THIS! we’ll watch 20ish seconds and then stop and talk about it…
Moon: dont give away stuff at the end! I haven’t seen it yet!
UC: i won’t okay ready?
Moon: yes
UC: go
Moon: OHHHH black summit logo, black like their hearts (i kid, i kid!)

Hmmm wanna go get a sammy and some ice cream? Maybe some chips and salsa?

Moon: ISABELLA?!
UC: isbella…..
Moon: OOOHHHH shes in trouble! That’s her full name!
UC: STOP the trailer!
Moon: OMG!!!
UC: stops at the voluri
Moon: the volturi show up right as we stop
Moon: so lets talk about the meadow
UC: so yes- um  did Rob eat like… 10,000 bags of cheetos?
Moon: lemme watch again
UC: or did they have the dry humpy time and his shirt is all frumpled cuz he looks huge
Moon: he’s all rumpled from laying around in the meadow
UC: haha his belly! seriously it’s like.. sticking out like he is bloated
Moon: he doesnt even care anymore
UC: he’s got the girl, eaten a couple extra deer
Moon: he’s like letting it all go
UC: she looks curvy. and good
Moon: letting it all go like a real relationship
UC: they’re all.. swollen… like.. they had some major humpage in the meadow
Moon: they’re going to brunch a lot, reading newspapers, eating fattening foods cause they’re so in love…

One Vampire to rule them all, One Vampire to find them, One Vampire to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

UC: Let’s move on
Moon: to the elvin lords?
Moon: the volturi look like they’re in middle earth, surprised jane didnt speak in elvish to them

Follow the jump to break it ALL down and maybe think about your contraception plan
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Unicorns DO exist!

I miss Twilight. I think I’ll watch it again soon- as soon as I remember who I lent my copy of the DVD to! But what I miss a ton is hearing what guys think of Twilight. This fan letter today reminded me of when we heard these stories all.the.time:

Dear Twilight,

You acquired a new fan this weekend and it might surprise you who it is. It sure surprised me. It’s my husband! After a full year of trying to keep my husband in the dark about Twilight, I was forced out into the open by Showtime. You see, I hadn’t let my husband watch the Twilight movie for fear that he would think I was insane for liking it. I hid the DVD behind other DVDs in the hopes that he wouldn’t find it and decide to just pop it in one day to see what all the fuss was about. Then the moment I was dreading happened. Twilight started playing on cable. And let’s face it, once it starts showing on cable, it’s virtually impossible to NOT see it. So I had a choice to make. I could not pay the bill and let our cable get disconnected or I could “woman up” and finally sit down to watch it with him. I decided to be an adult and face the music. After putting the kids to bed and settling in with a bottle of wine (all for me, btw), me and my husband turned on Twilight.

I fully expected to be ridiculed for the next 2 hours, but something surprising started happening. My husband looked like he was enjoying it. I had to explain a few things at the beginning, because so much was left out from the book. But other than that he seemed to get it. He laughed at the appropriate times. He really enjoyed Charlie (but who didn’t, right?). He laughed at Edward’s snarky comments. But what was more surprising was what he didn’t laugh at. He didn’t laugh at “Spider Monkey”, the cheesy special effects, “My Monkey Man” or Kristen’s stuttering and stammering in the hospital scene. And I was certain he would laugh at the sparkling. Come on! Even we lover’s of Twilight laugh at the cheesiness of the sparkling vampires. Nope! There was not even a smirk when Edward revealed himself. Was it possible my husband was actually liking this or was he just humoring me? As the movie came to an end, I was a little nervous. I didn’t want to ask my husband what he thought. He’s pretty tough when it comes to movies. He has a tradition of rating movies on a scale of 1 – 10. Most movies get a 5. One of his favorite movies, The Dark Knight, only got a 9 out of 10. I figured we were doing good if he gave it a 5. He didn’t say anything, however, so I assumed it was much worse than I thought and he was just sparing my feelings. Finally as we were getting ready for bed he said, “I liked it. I’d give it a 7.” What?! Were my ears deceiving me? Did my husband actually like this? Was he just mocking me? Or did I have a unicorn on my hands? The next words out of his mouth confirmed it, “I wouldn’t mind going to see the next one at the theater with you.” He spent the next few minutes asking me questions about the rest of the books/movies and trying to clarify points he didn’t quite understand. In the end, he admitted he thought it was a pretty romantic movie.

To think that I’ve spent the last year trying to keep my obsession under wraps, when I could have just let it all out for him to see. Apparently sparkling, emo vampires who only drink animal blood and attend high school over and over do not bother him. He found it interesting. What I found interesting were some of his comments during the movie. I’ve only ever watched and discussed Twilight with other women. It was nice to get a man’s perspective. Here were some of this thoughts as the movie played.

Random thoughts my husband had during Twilight

  • Jessica is “stacked”
  • Why are all those guys hitting on her (Bella)? I would go for the other girl (Jessica). She seems like she’d be a lot more fun. She actually smiles and laughs.
  • That guy (Rob) looks A LOT better in this movie than he did when we saw him on Letterman. ( I strongly disagreed with this, but he thought Rob looked better with his vampire make-up)
  • I bet she’s a joy to live with with (Bella). She seems like such a downer.
  • If you knew he was vampire, would you go off into the woods with him alone?
  • He admits he killed people and she doesn’t care?!
  • Wouldn’t kissing a vampire feel like kissing a cold, dead fish?
  • I can’t imagine not being able to sleep. I’d get bored.
  • So he (Edward) waits 100 years to fall in love and that’s (Bella) who he chooses?
  • Why doesn’t he just change her? Wouldn’t that solve the problem? (This was said during the chase scene with James)

But my favorite exchange came during the bedroom kiss scene:

As Edward slowly leans in to kiss Bella
DH
: Wouldn’t that be like kissing your steak dinner?
Me
: Ssshh! You’re ruining it for me.
Edward flings himself off of Bella and against the wall

DH: Whoa! Why did he do that? Was he turned on?
Me
: Yes. He can’t go too far. He can’t have sex with her.
DH
: Really? Why?
Me: He can’t lose control around her or he might accidentally kill her.
DH
: Hmmm. . . now I know why you like this. It’s all about the yearning and the longing. Women love stuff like that.
Me: Shut up.

Unicorns DO exist!

So there you have it. I was doubting the existence of unicorns. I’ve heard people on this site talk about unicorn sightings, but I never really believed it. Now I can say that, yes, there are men who like Twilight. There are men who don’t laugh at sparkling vampires who wear too much lipstick. I know. I live with one.

Toooldforthis

Seriously- I laugh at that picture to our right EVERY TIME. Tonight, my husband who normally tells me to STOP blogging said, “UC- you need to blog about vampires and stop watching Chuck & Blair fanvids” My.. how the times have changed!

After the jump, see the hilarious winning entry from the contest we ran yesterday! ANDDDDDDD finally… that trailer we all want to see! Continue reading

Before we had the REAL thing

Dear 2007 & 2008,

I’ve been reminiscing. Reminiscing about a time before the drama of “Is David Slade or isn’t David Slade being replaced by a taller director?” and “Are Rob & Kristen really making love for hours on end in front of a fire on a bear skin rug or are they just banging quickly on a leopard printed one?” I was thinking back to YOUR time- when casting announcements were just being announced for the movies, a petition was being sent around to have Rob replaced in the films & Big Daddy hadn’t yet become a household name. Melissa Rosenberg hadn’t yet penned “How you likin’ da rain Arizona,” and Cathy Hardi was still hard at work coming up with a list of “terrible, awful, no good lines for Rob Pattinson to say when Kristen Stewart first climbs on his back.” Sigh… those were the good ol’ days.

Actually, I wasn’t around then but I would have been if I had known better. However, as I’ve read every page and seen every image the internet has to offer about the Twilight saga & its actors, I’ve discovered that things were different back then. Things were different before. Before the hype. Before the drama. Before there were promo photos, videos and interviews. Before anyone knew any better….. This stuff was made:

Back when Edward Cullen, the 21st century’s Romeo, was seen as a vampire with a mullet and loved a heroine who young enough to give Chris Hansen a MAJOR career booster.

Back when Pete Wentz was someone’s dream Edward Cullen

Back when a REAL Native American was expected to play Jacob

Back when Ronald McDonald fought a random Italian dude for Bella’s love

Back when no one was good enough for Rob Pattinson, so Ariel had to fill in

Was Ashlee Simpson someone’s dream Rosalie? Check it out after the jump! Continue reading

Yes Bella, you are right, “They’re NOT Bears!”

*In honor of our dear UC who loves to call me and say “They’re Not Bears!” I bring you this lovely letter from the even lovelier Bella (and Alice) from Not and Addikt*

Dear Bella,

You know, I gotta hand it to Edward: you’re a lot more observant than all of us initially gave you credit for. You immediately noticed the Cullens, you worked out all on your own that men get crabby when they’re hungry, and in the blink of an eye, you noticed those big wolves in New Moon are NOT bears. Whew, I’m glad you pointed that one out, because frankly, I was still puzzled and confused until you put me in the know. Then again, no wonder you’re such an expert, what with all the wildlife problems Forks has been having. Animal attacks, giant bears, local kids that explode into giant wolves and the likes. Anywho, it got me wondering what a movie night with you would be like. Are you one of those annoying people who figure out the plot after 5 minutes and can’t help but release my poor soul from its ignorance? Do you keep on slurping through your straw even though that coke has been emptied hours ago? Do you finish your snacks after 15 minutes and then eye mine like a PMSing vulture? Do you repeat that one semi-funny movie quote for days to come, like I do to annoy my bloggy pal Alice? Only one way to find out. Pull on your favourite pair of holey sweatpants, send Eddie hunting for a night, and browse my dvd collection for something you like. How about we make this a little marathon movie night? Allright, here we go.

Oh, so you’re into sci-fi trilogies, are you? So am I. Then again, Star Wars IS a classic.

No but they’re not wolves either. Got any other furry foresty suggestions?

Spot on again Bella, they are indeed NOT bears. We know they’re neither Ork nor Troll. So it makes total sense for you to inform us they’re also not bears, about as much sense as the fact that you are sharing a frame with a band of feisty Uruk Hais in Middle Earth.

Follow the cut to see what else is NOT a bear according to Bella
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Dear Renesmee

Dear Reneesmee, Renesemee, Renesmee, Renesmee,

First of all, can we address the spelling of your name? Every time I have to write it I have to slow down and think for a second. Or grab my Breaking Dawn book or look at a past letter where we mentioned you. It’s annoying. And I’m still not sure “Renesmee” is even how you even spell it. I get it- Mommy wanted to be all cute and pay homage to both of your grandmom’s,  but couldn’t she have just named you “Renee” or “Esme” and given you a middle name like the other gma’s? Whatever, that’s the least of what I’d change if I had my way.

Anyway, I figured it was about time I wrote to you directly. I’ve mentioned you over the past year- usually in advice letters to Jacob where I warn him that Chris Hansen is closing in- but I want to have a heart-to-heart. You see, I never really had a problem with you. I was one in the minority. Sure, I cringed a little when I realized what it meant when mommy was eating all those eggs & getting fatter. But it wasn’t a “OMG they just made a human/vampire cross-breed that’s gonna be creepy and have an inappropriate relationship with her mommy’s ex boyfriend” kind of way. It was more a “Oh shit, really Edward & Bella? Are you stupid? Your sex life is over. Don’t you know that having a baby changes EVERYTHING? Instead of hot, sweaty nights breaking headboards and tickling each other with feathers, it’s changing poopy diapers and trying to keep that wolf at bay. Your sex life is OVER” (Okay, I really have no idea as I’m not a mother, but that’s the reason I keep telling myself I don’t want kids, so it’s all I know) I also didn’t take into consideration that Aunt Rose would sort of claim you as her own and it’s really her & Uncle Emmett’s sex life that is ruined. But anyway, discussing sex with a baby is pretty creepy, so I’m gonna stop.

If I had known about this, you would have creeped me out

You didn’t creep me out. You seemed cute and I loved how your family doted on you. You definitely changed the dynamic between your mommy & daddy, and I wasn’t exactly on board- I’m an adult with a job and bills and taxes and stuff. The reason I liked your mommy and daddy is because they were innocent kids without the worries of 401ks and global warming. (What the crap? I have NEVER worried about my 401k once) And now that you’re around… well, it seems like things might get more complicated. Instead of dirty talk it’s daycare talk. Instead of where Daddy is going to whisk Mommy off for Valentine’s day it’s “Can we trust the dog to not make a move while we’re gone.” And Daddy will stop looking at Mommy when she’s looking sexy and instead say, “Have you seen our daughter!? She looks wayyyyy too sexy. I read Jacob’s mind. Lock.Her.Up.Now.” I didn’t sign up for that. But all-in-all, I liked you!

However…. things have changed. In the past year I’ve met many of those in the majority- the closest one being Moon. I’ve heard the other side of the story. The side where people DON’T overlook the creepiness that your best friend Jacob will one day do things to you that would get us all arrested if I mention them now. I was never okay with that part of the story, I’ll admit. But I let it slide because it was one blimp in my perfect fantasy world. But as I’ve had Twilosophical conversations with friends and readers & commenters and then as I’ve discovered the world of “Renesmee Fan art,” I have to admit…. I might be switching Teams. I was on “Team Renesmee as long as I can still get hot Bella & Edward scenes” but now I’m on “Team maybe the Volturi should get Renesmee but leave everyone else alone” Oh- I don’t mean that (but I kinda do) It’s just that….. you’re creepy. A baby with special abilities? Who has a relationship with a wolf who used to love her mother? A wolf that will one day become her lover?

“What? Are yo- NO! NO! How, I don’t even know what you’re say- How Ho- Whadya whayda you talking about, yo- want me to go away- I, I, I can’t, I can’t I I can’t just leave – I… (fade out)”

Yeah, mommy knows how I feel.

Renesmee & Jacob

If it wasn't inappropriate, I'd make a doggy style joke here

So where do we go from here? How can you and I get back to the side of the minority- where I overlooked your creepiness so I could claim that, “The Twilight Saga is the best worst-written book series of all time”? I don’t know. I was going to say maybe Stephanie will write a new saga- picking up 10 years from where we left off- where you’re a full-grown adult and Jacob is allowed to have those thoughts about you like the ones he once had for your mommy. But then I realized that I bet Jacob/Renesmee fan fiction exists- I’m willing to bet my 401k on this- and I can’t imagine the creepiness. Oh, I’m sure it’s not some pedophilia stuff about you as a child with Jacob, but it doesn’t matter. I don’t care that Jacob’s body is frozen in time. Even if you are 10 with the body of a 17 year old, and Jacob is only 27 with the body of a 17 year old, you’re still TEN YEARS OLD. And he is TWENTY-SEVEN. And he kissed your MOMMY. I don’t care if that was because he loved her future unborn child that neither one of them knew about. THIS IS JUST ALL TOO CREEPY FOR ME TO HANDLE.

Also, I can’t believe I wrote an entire letter where I said Daddy & Mommy 16 times. I feel weird. I’m gonna go get drunk now- like a proper adult.

Love (sort of),
Aunt UnintendedChoice

Let’s talk Renesmee. Do you love her? Did you love her? Are you creeped out? Discuss!

And if you’re NOT creeped out, you will be after you see this:

Click. Seriously now. Click

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

My FanFic Storyline Ideas – Vol 1: JediWard

UUUUSSSEEE THE DAZZLE FORCE EDWARD!!! and t

Dear Twilight Fan Fiction writers-

Yesterday, while on Twitter I saw a trending topic called “Jedward” which as it turns out is some weird incestuous looking brother singing duo but because I’m not “down with the kids” like Billy Black, it made me think some FanFic writer created a hillbilly Edward hybrid. I tweeted it cause I think I’m funny sometimes and as it turned out I wasn’t the only one and someone else thought it was “Jediward” a Star Wars version of Edward. And THAT got me to thinking. What would Star Wars look like with Twilight characters subbed in? Now, I’m sure I’m going to get crucified by White Yorkie and the Font for attempting or even entertaining such SciFi/Fantasy heresy but I just have to explore the complete craziness of this idea.

With this in mind I present to you our latest series: My Fanfiction Storyline Ideas! Because I think of some pretty absurd ideas and feel like it’s my duty to share them with the word and please writers if you feel like taking up this mantle of absurdity, feel free. I just come up with the ideas if you can make it reality than more power to you and more laughing for me!

Click to enlarge and possibly frame

Title: Star Wars: May the Forks Be With You!
AU, Non canon Twi and Non Canon Star Wars (too hard, I tried), Scifi, Romance, Angst

Summary:
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away… a rebellion begins against the evil Volturi Empire to take back the Republic and destroy the evil Darth Aro and his massive Death Star space station. Captured by the Empire while on a spy mission, Princess Bella who has the stolen Death Star blueprints hides them in escaped droids Eric2-D2 and Mike3PO.

EEEDDDWWWAAARRDDDD I am your sisterrrrr!!

Later on the planet of La Pushtouine, Edward Skywalker purchases Eric2-D2 and Mike3PO and accidentally uncovers a secret message from Princess Bella asking Charlie-Wan Kenobi to help as he’s her only hope. Inspired to help this girl Edward finds Charlie-Wan and they set out to find the Rebels to deliver the message and rescue Princess Bella. In need of transport and a secret passage they hire space pilot without a cause Jazz Solo and his Wookie co-pilot Chewbacob to lead them to the rebels.

Follow the cut to see what happens
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Team Cullen take over the Olympics

*It isn’t often we get letters to just the Cullen family, but Luludee was so inspired by the current winter Olympics she just had to get the Cullens involved*

Go for the gold Cullens!

Dear Cullen Family,

I’d like to start off by letting you know that I am in no way what you would call a “fan” of sports in general, though I know that your family enjoys tossing/hitting some balls around. But, like some sort of sports-werewolf, for two weeks every two years, I undergo a transformation and become a rabid avid fan of individual athletic prowess and “We are the World” oneness that is the Olympics.

It’s 2010, which means it is time for another round of the Winter edition of the ultimate competition. I’ve been watching every single night and I believe that I’ve just discovered a future cover for the Cullen Family: Winter Olympic Athletes! You guys were made for this: you’re cold, you’re pale and you possess super-human prowess. You’ll fit right in! I know you might be dubious, but just hear me out. I’ve figured out which sport each of you could compete in. Besides, you’re not fooling me. It’s gotta be hella-boring living the quiet life in Forks, Washington, werewolf feuds and Vampire lynch-mobs notwithstanding. It’s time for the Cullen family to live a little, no pun intended. Let’s Do This!!

Carlise's competition? Eric Yorkie!

Carlisle – We all know you’ve been around for a while and possess a gentle and kind spirit. Yet, despite your meek appearance, a strong, hard beast capable of great feats lies within. I found a sport that’s almost as old as you and looks somewhat easy but actually requires deceptive strength and stamina: Speed Skating. As a vampire, I’d think it would be nice and relaxing as well as easy to control, so as to make the competition look more convincing. As an added bonus (for us and Esme) you will be required to wear skin tight lycra and will be bent over at the waist allowing for a nice view of your assets. (Seriously, have you SEEN these guys?!)

Esme – Imma be honest. I had a hard time figuring out the best event for you. I finally decided that Ski Jumping best suited you…you know since you have experience jumping off of high places. But unlike your previous forays, here you can look graceful whilst flying through the air and you’ll land softly and beautifully with no injuries. No muss, no fuss.

Rosalie – Passive-aggressive insults, bitter rivalries, fast paced pushing and shoving, and an ever present risk to cut a bitch – it’s Short Track** for you! Me thinks the South Korean team would welcome you with open arms. Oh snap!

Oh snap follow the cut for the rest of the fam!
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The Important questions about New Moon

Edward's favorite tampon brand

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

Hey Arizona! It’s been awhile. I know, I know. But I’ll be honest the hype of New Moon has died down majorly. David Slade & Summit have refused to release any Eclipse info until after Remember Me is released (or so we can assume) Although David Slade quite possibly redeemed himself with what looks to maybe be a leg hitch picture, but still. We’re bored. But not without ideas- no, no. Those are ever-flowing. It’s just hard to write fan fic about Buttcrack Santa and Harry Clearwater coming back from the dead as zombies, adding one more mythical creature to the mix in Forks. But I’m working on it!

Anyway, longtime LTT reader, Jet, emailed us a few weeks back asking some really important questions about New Moon and the Twilight saga that haven’t been asked before. Ya know, like along the same lines about what happens when Bella gets her period, but better. I consider myself quite the Twilight saga expert, but even I didn’t know how to write her back. I thought I’d ask you today, as well as ask you about other questions that were sent to us via the tweets:

Did Oregano watch New Moon? And if he did, then how many times did he puke like Mike or throw tomatoes at the screen?

Do you know, Steph? Are you still close with Cathy Hardi? Can you ask her? I have a feeling she’s been stalking poor Oregano ever since she heard about he & Kristen’s split. Poor guy. (Hey- *brilliant thought* was SHE the reason for the KStew/Oregano split? Where has he been? IS he throwing back Ultimate Margs at 5pm on Monday, Tuesday AND Thursdays at the TGIFridays with the Cougar?)

What happens to female vampires who weren’t able to “do it” before they were turned? Will they be like that Jessica character from True Blood? Will “it” keep on growing back?

I had no idea what Jet was talking about here, so I consulted my True Blood expert and my expert on “it,” Moon, and asked:

UC: Does she mean the hyman?
Moon: Hymen
UC: Sorry. I never had it long enough to learn how to spell it
Moon: Slut
UC: Hey! I fell on a fence post when I was 7!
Moon: Ouch. Yes in True Blood Jessica is a virgin when she’s turned so it’s like her first time EVERY TIME she has sexy
UC: Realllllyy? Do you think that means Edward explodes in 3 seconds every time he does it?

Jet continued:

We never hear much about Jasper and Alice’s “experiences” in the books. Is it because of this very thing? Was Alice never deflowered before she was turned? I’m only assuming of course. ‘Cause, come to think of it, who would do it with her when she was trapped in the asylum…..

I know: Chase Crawford, Kellan Lutz, Jackson Rathbone, Jared Followhill etec. etc.

Is Harry Clearwater the new Buttcrack Santa? Will his Kung Fu still be strong even after death? Who will make fish fry for Charlie now?

Seriously. Charlie can’t be without his fish fry. You heard Bella. There’s only enough fish for the next 3 years in the freezer. He needs ALL of that fried. He NEEDS to die an early death from clogged arteries. Otherwise he’s gonna get REALLY suspicious when his 55 year daughter still looks like an 18 year old and he won’t understand why his 7 year old granddaughter is making out with her “older brother figure” on La Push Beach. GET CHARLIE FISH FRY!

Then I asked myself: Is is possible there are Twilight fans out there that don’t immediately think of sexual things when the “What questions do you have about New Moon’ is asked?

No. No it’s not..

After the jump, see what I mean and enjoy as I take a crack at answering some of the questions Continue reading

Must have been love – Twilight style

Dear Fanmade video makers and LTT-ers and movie fans,

DUDE a cover of Roxette’s “Must have been love?” with New Moon footage?! YES, please!


too bad it’s not a mash up with Pretty Woman. Edward/Rob as well EDWARD Lewis and Bella/Kristen as Vivian. And too bad we have no hooker/stripper footage of KStew. Guess we’ll just have to wait till Welcome to the Riley’s comes out and then my dream of a Pretty Woman/Twilight Mash up can become reality.

Since we’re on the movie/Twilight kick, remember when we posted the videos to She’s Like the Wine and Hungry Eyes and wished for a Dirty Dancing (RIP Patrick)/Twilight mash up? And then Ted C. from the Awful Truth ripped us off (after we told him about the videos) and then didn’t credit us? Yea, those were good times… In fact let’s watch them again shall we…


Hungry Eyes


She’s like the Wind

Seriously?! Best videos EVER! So what other movies can we think of that work perfectly with Twilight? Loner, new girl from out of town is magically swept up with the hot mysterious deep boy? Hmmm 16 Candles? What do you think? Tell us in the comments and post any videos like this we should see!

It must have been LOOOOVE,
Themoonisdown

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter