New Moon rumor patrol

Dear New Moon,

So the movie has been our for a week and 1/2 now and you’ve made a gazillion dollars, and there are rumors floating around EVERYWHERE. I thought I’d take a little time today, dig into the news and gossip, contact my sources and really do some research into the stories out there to help us determine what to believe or not. Enjoy!

1. Women everywhere have forgotten about their vintage green washer & dryer and have taken up hand washing their clothes in a bucket of cold, sudsy water, and Wal-mart has suddenly tripled inventory on the old fashioned washboard (formally found in the craft department to be used as decoration) as demand increases due to all the women recently inspired to manually scrub out the stains in their clothing:

True- thanks to Taylor Lautner’s washboard abs. He now gets a royalty check every time Wal-mart sells an old-fashioned washboard.

2. Chris Weitz has agreed to do Breaking Dawn and make it into two films

False or True or… this is still a rumor: Chris is concerned that he set the bar pretty high this time with the yellow pants and isn’t sure if he has another color of slacks to top them when it comes time for Breaking Dawn promotion. He has a cranberry pair that his mom sent him for Thanksgiving (they have a stitching of a turkey along the top) but are they good enough? It’s really a lot to consider. PLUS, two more movies to film? He’s really concerned that Robsten can’t stick it out that long. And nothing would be worse than the world’s precious star couple breaking up the night before Rob is supposed to bite pillows and tear apart headboards. So if he agrees to it and if he finds the perfect pair of pants, he will probably recast Bella. He’ll cast me. He doens’t know it yet, but he will. I sent him a pair of bedazzled, neon blue “UC & Moon” pants last week. He’ll get them any day now and he’ll be convinced. Feathers all over my naked body, here I come!

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Everything I need to know about life I learned from New Moon

Life lessons learned here

Dear LTT-ers and TwiHards,

Remember when we gathered together some of the lessons we had learned from Twilight last year? Well, it’s time we hit up New Moon since the film version is out and we’ve (sorta) reread it again (and again) and there are a slew of lessons to be learned that I wouldn’t have known otherwise…

  • If your new best guy friend starts running around in the woods in just a pair of jean shorts and some sneakers, he will NOT catch a cold. He will run a temperature of 108 but don’t worry, this is normal. He may also turn into a werewolf.
    c
  • If a man with a pair of orange pants and hiking boots is directing the sequel to a movie adaptation of one of your favorite books: TRUST HIM. Perhaps with your life. He will NOT screw you over. And you just may find yourself drawn to orange pants and man purses (murses)
  • Trust me, I'm a director!

  • I know you will be anxious when the lead actor in the first movie leaves for 2/3rds of the second movie but take a deep breath and let the underage boy taking his place worm his way into your heart. You will NOT miss the first boy and it will truly be “as if he never existed.”
  • Mike Newton may have gained like 30ish something pounds but he still has some of the best lines and can act the HALE out of the flu!
  • Just like in Twilight it is perfectly normal to expect your best friend to be the boy next door who suddenly morphs into a hit piece with a 12 pack, a penchant for fixing up broke down cars and motorcycles, and will love you more than your whiny ass deserves even when you can’t get over the hot vampire boyfriend who dumped you in the woods months ago and moved away.
  • I learned that if you are depressed and you sit in a recliner for 3 months, you will not get bed sores, a flat “shelf ass” or muscle atrophy…seriously how did she do that?

Follow the cut to see what else we learned from New Moon
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Thankfulness oozes from our LTT pores

Dear Twilight, Stephenie Meyer, Chris Weitz, Chris Hansen and everyone else that falls under those 5 titles,

Continuing with our weekend of thanks (aka Moon & UC take a break from blogging due to the pie-coma we’ve been in since Thursday), we opened it up to our readers to share what they are thankful to YOU for in the Twi-world!

Kristin, forum mod, incredible friend and list maker extraordinaire, kicks us off with a sappy, funny, THOROUGH list of thankfulness!

Just wait till you see the hand signals people give you if you leave out the leg hitch

  • I am thankful that Crazy Cathy is a cougar, without her prowess for Rob, we wouldn’t have gotten to see him come to life as Edward Cullen.
  • I am thankful for DVD commentary, without that I wouldn’t have the pleasure of hearing “cheeseburgahs!”, “super human moron” and “there’s always something suspect about a guy who plucks his eyebrows”.
  • I am thankful for DVD’s in general when it comes time to fast forward through Kristen/Bella stuttering in the hospital bed.
  • I’m thankful that Stephanie Meyer had a dream. A dream about a meadow that has changed mine and countless other womens perspective on what  constitutes the perfect man. However I am not thankful for repetitive use of the word “chagrin”.
  • I am thankful for the leg hitch. David Slade, so help me God, that leg hitch better be in there.
  • I shall give thanks to the man who restored my faith in the movies, Chris Wietz. I am so thankful for him, I would iron those mustard colored pants even. Lets try and remain proper, but there are many ways I would like to show just how thankful I am.
  • Also thankful for Michael Sheen and Tweed. (say that last part very seriously)
  • I am thankful that I while I am a mother and I love the Twilight Saga, I am not a twi-mom.
  • I’m thankful that there is a forum, about twilight, that I moderate. Never thought in my life, those 3 things would be together in a sentence.
  • I am thankful that I don’t go one day without thinking about Rob/Twilight/New Moon/LTT/LTR, they are my life now.
  • (here comes LOTS of cheese) I am thankful that I have met people who will be my friends for life, all because of twilight. People I have met and will meet, that are so fabulous, it makes me sad to think I wouldn’t know them if I had just blown off this stupid “vampire book”.

The Twitters were abuzz with thankfulness

Random_Brunette i am thankful for Vanity Fair, Rolling Stone,Chris Weitz,ShirtFree-ness & Heineken,amen 😉

RobwardisSEXX I’m thankful for Rob always having the right amount of scruff on his gorgeous face. & 4 s.meyer’s creations.God bless her.

PhyllmeupRob Im thankful that Rob and Twilight reminded me 2 act young & really feel lifes emotions again without guilt. Cheesy enough?

Follow the cut for so much more thankfulness that you’ll wish you were back in your pie-coma Continue reading

The critics weigh in: Did New Moon suck or not?

*Spoilers all throughout, again. And seriously if you’re reading LTT but haven’t seen the movie yet you better have a GOOD reason. Swine Flu? Rob knocked on your door and said he’d be with you but only if you promised never to see one of his films? So if you haven’t seen the movie, best you skip on by. If you have, pull up your pencil & notepad, it’s time for a major New Moon-losophy:

EdwardNewMoon

I'm about to dissappear so that Chris Hansen can keep his career busy for the next few months

Dear LTTers,

Okay- Be honest, how many more times did you see New Moon? So far the record I know of at LTT is @Brookelockart who saw it three times. I’ve only seen it once, and I’m pretty miserable about it. But I promised my best friends I’d see it with them on Tuesday, so I guess I can wait until then.  In the meantime I’ve been thinking about New Moon a lot. I’d think that was weird except by now I know to just say “That’s Normal.” So at brunch today after I talked my husband’s ear off about what a great job I thought Taylor did and how I didn’t miss Rob at all but then loved him when he returned, I took the “I’m only listening to you now so that I don’t have to hear about it later, plus I know the more accepting I am of this the more guilty you’ll feel that we spent the whole time talking about you therefore you’ll be more giving in the bedroom” gaze on his face as totally normal, as well.

Since I finished re-reading New Moon on my plane ride home from Los Angeles and I can’t see the movie until Tuesday, I’ve been doing a bit of reading online to pass the time and get my New Moon fill. First I started with fan reviews.  They were basically the same- filled with “OH MY GAWD Taylor’s abs” and “I think I might switch teams” and “I’m most DEFINITELY not leaving Team Edward but dayyyummmmm can I stare at Jacob’s abs one more time?” Not to forget “Cathy Hardi you suck” and “MARRY  ME CHRIS WEITZ” sprinkled with a little “Kristen now that Nikki is out of the picture can WE be fake lesbians” and “THE ENDING.. AHHH” and “I can’t wait for JUNE!” (Does that basically sum up all the feelings?) But the critic reviews were a different story.

I stayed away from critic reviews before I saw the movie. I wasn’t going to, but then I remembered how I read a review last year before seeing Twilight that suggested that Cathy Hardi’s close up shots of Rob & Kristen’s faces were because they couldn’t portray the connection Edward & Bella were supposed to have well enough. I could never get that out of my head, and I think about it every time I see the movie (and tend to agree). So this time I stayed away from the reviews so I could form my own opinions. Obviously, I loved the movie and I’m looking forward to seeing what my 2nd-10th viewings show me (My husband said if I see it more than 10 times he’ll put me in an institution)

Read all about the reviews after the jump Continue reading

What’s a DILF? Chris Weitz knows!

Dear Chris Weitz,

There’s probably more we want to tell you than any letter here could ever contain about how much we love you for New Moon and finally giving the fandom a film version worthy of the saga. While watching New Moon Thursday night it all finally clicked into place that there was one HUGE difference between the Twilight movie and New Moon movie and that is YOU! Yes, you!

Our pal Jen from MyRobPattinson was lucky enough to get to be on the red carpet as the stars walked by. She got to see Kellan and Taylor and Kristen and those volturi dudes and some wolves and that guy named Rob but most importantly she got to see YOU and ask you a few of the most important questions in the world… you know stuff like what was with those orange pants at the London premiere and if you knew what a “DILF” was and since you directed the American Pie series which pretty much originated the term “MILF” I think you do! And here’s your answer……….


Oh you shudder to think! HA!

Hearts your face,
Moon

Video: Thanks Jen!! Visit her site: My Robert Pattinson

Our internet game is ridiculous: The Forum LTR Twitter

I saw New Moon and I LOVED it….

I know many of you haven’t seen the movie yet. GO GO GO GOOOOOOOO what are you waiting for!? Of course you know I’m writing about it today, but don’t worry- I’ll warn you before there are spoilers

NewMoonGoodieBags

Did someone bring YOU a goodie bag with knock-off Ray bans inside?

Dear New Moon,

A story to sum up the night: After remaining in our seats until the last credit rolled, singing along to every word of “Meet me on the Equinox,” occasionally letting out a yelp, a squee or an expletive and holding hands with friends and strangers around us, our group of (just) 18 gals ventured into the concession area of the theater continuing with our yelps, squees and expletives along the way. As we gathered around for a group photo in front of the Eclipse poster we decided what that moment needed was a group hug. Hugs were passed around, more squees were heard and then it hit us- just a hug will not suffice. What we needed was a New Moon huddle. So we gathered together, we all put our arms in the middle and on the count of 3 we raised our hands in the air and yelled: JORTS!

It’s 3:46am and I could go on and on about the movie I just saw. But it’s 3:46am and I really want to go to sleep, so I’ll just share a few thoughts. The first being that it’s amazing. So if you haven’t seen it yet, forget the bad reviews, forget any preconceived notions you have based on the badly made last movie (Twilight) and just go. Lower your expectations. Clear your mind of anything you hope to see and just go enjoy the great portrayal of a really great book.

I have a confession, though.  With all that talk I shoved down your throats about managing expectations and ACCEPTING IT NOW that the movie very well may suck, I still hung on to a few expectations myself. Thankfully, Chris Weitz reads my mind (and therefore may now have access to my body) and BROUGHT it with New Moon. After the jump here are a few of my expectations that were met ABOVE and BEYOND! *Spoiler Alert* (see ending for *end of spoiler alert*) Continue reading

New Moon music and major props to Chris Weitz

ChrisWeitzSoundroom

I wish I had on my yellow pants

Dear Chris Weitz,

A few weeks back Moon had her chance to gush over you and THEN got to meet you and shake your hand at the Billboard music event. We’ve been sharing with the world (aka the followers on twitter) daily what a DILF we think you are and then in true LTT fashion, because nothing is sacred to us, we totes went and made fun of your horrible, awful, your “wife probably called you the minute the first picture leaked and demanded you remove them”, yellow pants. We feel bad. Because in watching all the interviews with you this week, and seeing you tweet about your “yellow pants committing suicide,” we feel like you may be aware of LTT and may have “heard” us poke fun of the awfulness of the pants.  We’re not sorry we said it, cause those pants deserve to burn, but we want to reassure you that you’re still our favy Twi DILF.

A few weeks back, when Moon was off somewhere crafting yet another plan to do yet another Twilight/Rob related thing to make everyone jealous, Calliope and I got to talking about the New Moon Soundtrack you and…. well, you’ll see

“I’m loving it”

Calliope: are you loving soundtrack?
UC
: lovingI’m on my first listen right now!
Calliope
: samies
UC
: i may have switched to bon iver being my fav. i mean.. lykke li = amazing. but it’s bon iver. and i love him but then the grizzly bear…jeez..and this is what I’ve decided. (i shall tell Chris Weitz in a letter soon) New Moon LOOKS amazing; New Moon SOUNDS amazing; New Moon is a GREAT story, so as long as the acting is AMAZING, the movie will be AWESOME- it all falls on their acting and well….we’ll see
Calliope
: yep. i think Kristen will be much more believable as Bella here. I think Weitz was the proper director for her… Hardi was too all over the place
UC
: I hope! and Rob better not suck it (cuz sometimes he does) Hardi is crazy balls
Calliope
: the puppy’s acting is also up for consideration
UC
: Yes.. the puppy better lower his voice. Dude.. WTF is this Lupe Fiasco bonus track on the soundtrack? Omg… I’m dying. I will stop it and never listen again
Calliope
: if rob’s acting sucks I’m blaming it on the apparition effect
UC: let’s just blame anything wrong with it on Hardi

Marry Me

UC: Seriously.. did you see that picture of Chris Weitz in the studio that @twilight tweeted? He has adorable sticking out ears! I would marry him if I weren’t already married. I’d walk right up to the studio where he’s been working day and night and say.. hey Chris marry me. I’d wear something slutty..
Calliope
: oh. mae. gawd. listening to that lupe song now.
UC
: TURN IT OFF- I will delete it from my iTunes, I mean it. I skipped over the opera too- i can’t handle it after indie amazingness
Calliope
: Okay, I skipped to “the Meadow.” OMG i heart Weitz. I want to send him a gift basket to thank him for what he’s done with new moon, but not a cheesy fruit gift basket…like a serious thoughtful gift basket
UC
: yes! let’s ponder this What would it include?
Calliope
: An inspirational quote book (Because he’s sensitive and would totally get it)
UC
: perhaps a mix tape too.. Champagne..chocolate..book of poetry- all the things we’d need, just in case he decided to take me up on my offer to ‘thank him’
Calliope
: when I was in B&N yesterday possibly scanning the racks for one of the bazillion twi-gang covers I know I’m gonna buy, I saw a journal with “stay calm and carry on” on it… and I LEGIT wanted to buy it for him. I’d Etsy him a dartboard with the studio heads responsible for Golden Compass (plus one with Nicole Kidman’s face on it because her excessive use of Botox had to have had something to do with why it tanked, as well.)
UC
: Perhaps we could also use a Rachelle pillow? Since he was the last to use her?

We talk football (seriously) after the jump! Continue reading