(We love to hear from you guys and today we have a fresh newbie treating us to her very first letter and how she’s finally figured out she’s “normal” after all!)
Dear LTT and LTR,
It was a week ago (last Saturday, to be precise) that I first learned about you from a friend who will forever have a special place in my heart for sharing you with me. LTT & LTR, you have filled a hole in me that I didn’t realize existed. You see, ever since I first read Twilight last fall, I’ve been, well, slightly fully obsessed with all things Twilight and, especially Rob.
I mean, I haven’t bought any apparel; I’ve never purchased a magazine because the cover featured Rob or KStew (I mean, I’ve stolen borrowed them from friends, but that’s different); and I refused to pay full price for the New Moon DVD ($24.99—are you kidding me?). I get points for that, right? And, until last week, the only blog/website I’d used for information about Twilight was Stephenie Meyer’s own site. (Well, and People.com, but that’s not exclusively Twilight content.)
But you have given me a gift: I know now that I’m not crazy. I’m normal.
Just because I’ve watched Twilight… um, more times than I count… even while cringing at the corniness of the movie and KStew’s mumbling, open-mouthed delivery of every line and emotion (is this the bitch face you write about?(Moon: No, but stick around and we’ll teach you!), that doesn’t make me crazy. The countless hours I’ve listened to the movie soundtracks on repeat, the insane number of times I’ve read the four books and Midnight Sun, the way when I’m reading Eclipse & Breaking Dawn I imagine how the directors will make it happen (the LEG HITCH, Hallelujah!!!!), the way I replay certain scenes from the movies over and over (Edward first talking to Bella, Edward smirking while Mike asks Bella to prom, the first kiss, then in NM when they’re reunited in Italy… sigh)… there’s more, but I feel like I don’t need to tell you. Because you know (Moon: Oh girl, do we ever).
Although my best friends share my love of the books and movies, I’ve always had this intense feeling of guilt and sliminess: I’m lusting after a dirty (literally), awkwardly built (his hips sometimes look wider than his shoulders, and have you ever noticed how awkwardly he walks with his hunched shoulders? Moon: Oh we notice. Those are his “mothering hips”), smoking/cussing/alcoholic, smarmy guy 5 years younger than me.
In truth, I’ve always feared that someone would catch and understand the gleam that comes into my eyes when Twilight (and hence Rob) comes up in conversation—do they see how truly inappropriate my fascination is? I know KStew wants her space and privacy, yet I crave photographs and news of Robsten, dying to factor that confirmed relationship (or not) into my fantasies of when I run into Rob, and he looks like he does in the Vanity Fair 2009 shoot (the photo with the cigarette?? OMG)… and he says to me, “Hello, my name is Edward Cullen.” And then he smells my throat… Well, you understand.
And that is why I will always be grateful to you, LTT & LTR. Because you do understand. You strike the perfect balance of obsessing and distancing yourself from that obsession with humor. Through you, I discovered the online archive of the Vanity Fair shoot (the video! the photos!). And so, while I will still never feel comfortable revealing the true extent of my Twilight/Rob obsession to my loved ones, at least now I know that I have kindred spirits. Normal, rational, intelligent women who say that it’s OK to feel this way.
Thank you, LTT & LTR, for providing me an outlet for my obsession.
P.S. Seriously, gals. Thank you! You’re the best, and I love your sites. Keep up the great work!! – Kirsten 🙂
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Filed under: Fan Letters, LTT, Twilight Fans Tagged: | Eclipse, edward cullen, fan, fan letter, Kristen Stewart, LTR, LTT, Midnight Sun, New Moon, new reader, newbie, Robert Pattinson, Stephenie Meyer, ThatsNormalGrlNC, Twilight, vanity fair