LTT Mailbag: Questions for Stephenie – We answer them

Hey youuu guuuuysss! Get ready for some crazy emails!

Dear Stephenie Meyer,

We’re going to meet you in a few weeks and become BFF’s and talk like girlfriends about Robert Pattinson and shoes and whether Pinkberry or Yogurtland is the best and about how we think Nacho is a hot piece and well maybe a little bit about Eclipse too. So when we got this letter to you we thought since we’re like 3ish weeks away from being BFF’s we could totally answer them for you. Why, not?

DEAR STEPHENIE MEYER,

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS FOR MY SCHOOL BOOK REPORT……
c

1.IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT YOU GOT THE IDEA OF TWILIGHT FROM A DREAM?

– TRUE. Double chili cheese dogs, fried pickles and jalapeno nachos from the Arizona State Fair will do that to you. Edward and Bella in the meadow were in fact the by product of the most wicked case of heartburn every medically recorded in the state of Arizona. Besides eating through half my esophagus and a whole bottle of Pepcid AC I just had to sit down and write out the dream, minus the nachos, churros and frozen lemonade’s that danced a circle around them.
c

HA HA Bill Condon, prepare yourself!

2.DID YOU ENJOY MAKING THE BOOKS AND MOVIES FOR TWILIGHT?

I don’t “make” the movies I just sit back and watch people like Chris Weitz try to figure out how to bring my books to the screen and not be maimed and beaten in the process by crazy Twihards who insist on exact book to movie translations. Those are my favorite days on set. I saw four women hoist David Slade over a toliet and threaten to give him a swirly if he left out the story about the 3rd wife. HAHA Slade, good luck figuring that out for the screen. So to answer your question: Yes, I totally enjoy it!
c

3.WILL YOU BE MAKING MORE BOOKS LIKE THE TWILIGHT SAGA?

Maybe, that depends on what new food venders show up at the Fair this year. I’m hoping for some of those friend oreos and a ride on the Tilt-a-Whirl and presto blamo hopefully I’ll have the Alice/Jasper story all worked out.
c

Going up in flames in a mall parking lot near you!

4.WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING THE BOOK MIDNIGHT DAWN?

Yes, I’ll be slipping a finished copy to UC and Moon when I meet them in a few weeks. No one else will see if but rest assured they will get to read all the rest of Edward’s juicy thoughts and I may just slip in a copy of Forever Dawn while I’m at it. Shhhhh don’t tell! It’s a surprise!
c

5.DO YOU HAVE OTHER HOBBIES THAN WRITING?

Lots, but my favorite is going to every Hot Topic store within a 100 mile radius of where I’m at and buying out all their Twilight merchandise. Then I take it outside and burn it all. But I save one shirtless Jacob shirt for myself. That’s what I wear to sleep in at night. Nacho loves it. No, he doesn’t. But I rest easier knowing that stuff isn’t in the hands of impressionable young teens and older women who should know better.
c

Working on my jazz hands

6.WILL YOU BE IN ANY OF THE OTHER TWILIGHT SAGA MOVIES?

I’m in them all! Just because you didn’t see me order a veggie burger in New Moon doesn’t mean I wasn’t there. I was actually biker #2 in that Port Angeles scene with Bella. They needed someone with motorcycle experience so of course both David Slade and I stepped in. Unfortunately, he got the part of Biker #1 and got to drive Bella around but he returned the favor by doing me a solid and subbing me in for Kristen during the leg hitch scene. So I win! Where I end up in Breaking Dawn, you’ll just have to wait and see. Spoiler Alert: I’m the maid who sings the song “Scattered feathers, busted headboard, this dude scored.” in the morning after Isle Esme musical number.
c

7.WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A VAMPIRE OR WEREWOLF IN THE MOVIES?

C. a Zombie

Wait, who's this guy again? His hand is NOT cold as ice

8.WHAT ARE YOUR HUSBAND AND SONS NAMES?

Edward and Renesmee… I mean umm… what’s their names again?
c
LOVE ONE OF YOUR # 1 AND BEST FANS OF THE TWILIGHT SAGA,
HONEY LOVER 🙂

So we hope/know those answers are pretty close to what you’d tell sweet, sweet delusional Honey if she actually had your email address and not ours. And yes, now that you’ve announced us and some other sites will be hanging with you, our “crazy” (a real folder we have in gmail) emails have increased exponentially. I can only imagine what the other sites are getting but we hope this does you justice

Until June!
Themoonisdown

PS Want to send Stephenie us an email?! Do it!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

*obviously Stephenie Meyer didn’t answer any of these questions, we just have overactive imaginations*

119 Responses

  1. Did you call Pancho, “Nacho?”

    Now I want some. Not Pancho. Nachos. For breakfast. So…thanks for that.

  2. What effect does a swirly have on a man with no hair? Deep thoughts.

  3. Bwahahaha heartburn would most certainly explain Edward’s glittery complexion.

    Steph should most certainly be in every movie… Like where is a where is Waldo inside joke.

    Is Midnight Dawn another book I have to wait In addition to Midnight Sun? At this point I really should re-read the series for the third time. I’ve read so much fanfic lately that I have to keep reminding myself that Edward really DIDN’T have a red room of pain and that Bella is not really a psychologist.

  4. Dear Stephanie… I mean Moon.. WAIT, I mean.. oh whoever,
    Can you get me a part in Breaking Midnight?? I have acting experience from my high school play days and I promise not to squeal too loudly when Rob drunkenly cops a feel after ‘someone’ accidentally adds a whole lotta Stoli to his Coke. I have included a polaroid of my boobs as further demonstration of my solid acting abilities.

    • Ditto.
      I totes played one of the leads in my grade 6 end of year play. Yes, it was almost 9 years ago but I tend to be a very dramatic person so I kinda act everyday, really.
      Oh and I have good boobs, too.
      And I can do an English accent.
      And an American one (sort of not really).

      • Double ditto,

        Except I played one of the lambs in my kindergarten nativity play so I could totes pull off the role of Stuttery McBlinky, Bella’s (the lamb-get it!) long lost sister who falls for Sparkles McSwoon, from the Scottish vamp. clan.

        Ps In case you are doubtful I have as flat a chest as Stewie and much better eyebrows.

  5. That picture of Cougar, Smeyer, and Stewie is hilarious! “Hahaha! Bill Condon, prepare yourself!” You guys are total win today.

    Was this a real email? Do they still do bookreports nowadays? I hope this was a just some material for you guys to write a fabulous letter, but my guess is that it’s from a “crazy.”

  6. I think I just died laughing…
    “scattered feathers, busted headboard, this guy scored”

    Seriously you should suggest that to ms meyer and ask her to pass it on!

  7. Craving for some nachos and melted cheese and a cold Heineken after reading Pancho/Nacho’s name. And WTH is that wolf shirt with wolfears. Thank God I don’t feel weird anymore baking sparklepeens everytime I watch Twlight and New Moon DVD……..

    • I mean sparklepeen cupcakes LMAO (ehm)

      • Thank god you corrected that! I was picturing some kind of sausage with hollandaise sause.

        Suppressed your appetite did I? Your welcomed.

    • ‘Sparklepeen’ reminds me of a twi-related chain mail I received from a friend. It said this:
      Twilight gave a whole new meaning to the line “I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”

      Dear innocence of mine, where are you?

    • Is it bad that I didn’t see anything wrong with this the first time I read it???
      Me: Hm…baking sparklepeens….what a splendid idea”

      (yes I’m british I do say spendid…)

      • Same, I immediately pictured some scrumptious eclair shaped baked goods, got hungry and thought what a great friend natashadushi would be to have living nearby.

        • LMAO! I will organize a Eclipse party here in Holland at my house. Me and DutchJosie would be the host and plenty to eat and drink: sparklepeencakes with vanilla-rum filling, scrumptious eclair shaped baked goods,Dutchsausage with hollandaise sause and Heineken. Oh…the games we could do! sigh…. I will even transform the guestroom in a Red Room of Pleasure. Oh crap who I am kidding? hahahahaha

  8. Wait….Edward doesnt have a red room of pain?

  9. My moms poodle is named Pancho…. it kinda weirds me out that that’s a persons name…..
    At least its not Renesme!

  10. Okay, call me a Twi-nerd/Twi-hard/Patient-in-need-of-a-Psych-Ward for this, but now I’m worried. You don’t think Sladey left out the story of the 3rd wife, do you? *bites nails*

    • Since we’ve seen a pic of Beller/Jacob of the part where the Quiluete (sp?) legends are told in the movie, I’m guessing DS somehow had managed to sneek in the 3rd wife’s story too. At least I hope he did. Otherwise the ending wouldn’t make any sense.
      Let’s all be twi-nerds together! (and consequently stop having lives as well)

      • Life? What’s that?! You know… now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever really had a life. :p

      • Yeah! You’re so right… the ending wouldn’t make sense. Except that I forgot about the third wife until I read this letter, but that’s neither here nor there because I’ve only read Eclipse once.

        It’s really just a scary story. Right?

    • Better not have!
      He will have a lot of angry people to answer to if he cocks up this film.
      (I don’t really like Slade, in case you can’t tell from my constant doubt of his directing abilities and by the fact that I call him ‘Slade’ when Chris Weitz is referred to as ‘The DILF’.

      • Aww, give short a chance!

      • Wait, “cocks up this film”…. I will be anything but angry if the cocks are up in this film. j/s

        (ps-does Bella use the term ‘Wait’ in the movie(s) because I keep using it, like all the time, and I’m not sure why… ayudame!)

        (pps @jayde – Slade can’t be a DILF, so it’s all cool.)

    • I would be very surprised if it was in there. I don’t really see this Bella as portrayed by Kstew, doing the big self sacrifice gesture.

      Another reason I think not it’s that it relies heavily in vampire’s bloodlust. Something that hasn’t been really explored as well as it should be. We’ve seen evidence that they like blood, but we haven’t felt the bloodlust….yet.

      • Not helping with the nail-biting! However, I can’t really imagine movie Bella being emotionally moved by the story either.

        And, you’re totally right. Not only have they not really given evidence of bloodlust, except Jasper, none of the Cullens have really acted like vampires at all. I mean, other than Edward’s little tree-branch-throwing tantrum in the woods…

        (P.S.- I’ve missed you, XY!)

        • Awww 2sday! I miss you too. I miss the whole rub. *tears up*

          I’m going to do better about commenting here… Even if it makes me late for work. I gotta have SOME priorities, dammit!

          • Late for work!! Late for work! Dooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!!

            (it’s not hard, trust me)

          • OMG… that was suppose to be “the whole tub” NOT rub. What is wrong with me, today? Between MotU and my iPhone, I may never be able to form a coherent sentence again. Ugh!

        • Actually, the musician (I’ve forgotten his name) who’s’making a cameo in the movie tweeted a picture of himself. He has given his character name, the Cold One. So I’m guessing they shot some of the 3rd wife story. Whether it makes it to the final cut…I don’t know.

      • spot on!

    • *shrugs on tweed wolf ear hoodie*

      Sladey simply cannot of left this out as it is completely integral to the plot of Eclipse. Because if Bells doesn’t hear the story she won’t get the idea to try to sacrifice herself during the ‘big’ fight and Edward won’t have to help out Seth fighting the vamp and everything would work out fine.

      Oh. Oops. Maybe it has been left out, sorry, I honestly believed I had that stitched up when I started typing. Fail. *hangs head and curls up in hoodie*

      • Haha, but it IS integral to the plot. It’s sort of necessary to Bella’s character devel– crap, what am I saying, lower those expectations, tuesday!!

        • Low expectations are the key, we just never learn.

        • I hear ya, but in NM, her figuring our Jacob was a Wolf on her own was also integral to the plot.

          In Twilight, Bella trusting to go hiking with Edward unbeknownst to others was integral to the plot.

          In Twilight, Edward’s button down sleeveless shirt was also… Ok, maybe not that, but you get my point.

        • Integral to the plot!! Necessary!!

          Wait, these things aren’t priorities for the screen play writers?

          *shuffles off to corner and whimpers*

          • Aww, do you want to borrow my tweed wolf ear hoodie, it’s very cosy and always makes me feel nice and dorky.

    • I don’t remember this 3rd wife…
      Is it part of the wolf lore?

  11. Letters like this just reaffirm to me that Stephanie totally pulled your name out of the hat on purpose. I don’t know the other sites and don’t really care to…I just feel sorry for them cause y’all are pure awesome!

  12. “Scattered feathers, busted headboard, this dude scored.”

    UC and Moon, have you considered putting this on a shirt for your store?

  13. I love this letter. I can’t tell if you made it up or if we really got it. Because there have been SO many exactly like this…..

  14. Handing in my comment vcard to say you guys are awesome. This reads like something my husband’s slow 11 year old cousin would send in. Love it!

    • probably was her/him.

      WELCOME out of lurkdom, hand me your vcard… hope you become a slut! 😉

  15. UC & Moon – Three weeks, squee!

    Have you picked out your lipstick? Please tell me it isn’t glitter gloss because the only way I can take the crazy of the Twi-universe is by knowing that you you two are out there keeping it real.

    PS I am so ashamed to have had this momentary lapse of confidence in your person grooming plans but-

    1. It is Twilight
    2. It is SM herself
    3. I am pretty sure that despite my best intentions if it were me I would be all glittered up, jorted out and would end up calling her ‘honey’ an awkward number of times while winking at her. But that’s me.

    Anywho, if you feel my doubts have any grounds at all can you let me know so I can start practising my jazz-hands embarrassed?

    Love you.

    • Calling her ‘honey’ an awkward number of times while winking at her.

      We have the same waitressing tendencies…

  16. omg. a hoodie with ears.

    I have no words.

  17. MORNING EVERYONE..IT’S ONE EYED PETE HERE..I MEAN CYN…(FEEL LIKE I SHOULD GO TO THAT BAR NOW..LOL)..
    SO TODAY’S TOPIC IS: LTT MAILBAG: QUESTIONS FOR STEPHANIE – WE ANSWER THEM? DAMN CAN ONLY SEE THE QUESTIONS AND PICS 😦 BUT ITS KINDA FUN (NOT REALLY) CAUSE I CAN MAKE UP MY OWN ANSWERS!
    1.IS IT REALLY TRUE THAT YOU GOT THE IDEA OF TWILIGHT FROM A DREAM? “YES ITS TRUE, BUT IT TURNED INTO A NIGHTMARE WHEN I WOKE UP AND CALLED MY HUBS EDWARD AND REALIZED HE DIDN’T SPARKLE…WE ARE DIVORCED NOW.. :(”
    2.DID YOU ENJOY MAKING THE BOOKS AND MOVIES FOR TWILIGHT? ” YES! 2 REASONS..GIZILLIONS OF MONEY AND A PRE NUP!”
    3.WILL YOU BE MAKING MORE BOOKS LIKE THE TWILIGHT SAGA? ” I HAVEN’T DECIDED YET..ITS REALLY HARD WHEN ALL YOU DREAM ABOUT IS A GORGEOUS VAMPIRE THAT SPARKLES! ALTHOUGH I DID HAVE A DAYDREAM THAT HAD ME WRITING A BOOK ABOUT TWILIGHT BLOGGERS..OOPS, SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT, PPL MIGHT THINK THAT IS WHY I INVITED THEM TO MEET WITH ME”
    4.WILL YOU STILL BE MAKING THE BOOK MIDNIGHT DAWN? “HUH? YOU MEAN MIDNIGHT SUN DON’T YOU? AS A MATTER OF FACT DON’T YOU HAVE SOMEONE WHO POSTS THAT HAS A MIDNIGHT SUN AVATAR..WOULD REALLY LIKE TO MEET HER! ALSO I HEARD SHE WROTE ME A LETTER, WOULD YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A COPY FOR ME TO READ?” (WINK WINK, SORRY COULDN’T HELP MYSELF) 😉
    5.DO YOU HAVE OTHER HOBBIES THAN WRITING? “OF COURSE I READ LTT/LTR AND THE FORUM AND WELL I SPEND ALOT OF TIME THERE, DOESN’T LEAVE MUCH TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE..OH SHOPPING, LOTS AND LOTS OF SHOPPING, DID I MENTION I AM REALLY REALLY RICH NOW?”
    6.WILL YOU BE IN ANY OF THE OTHER TWILIGHT SAGA MOVIES? “I DON’T THINK SO, I AM QUITE SHY AND RESERVED, (AND THEY DON’T PAY ME TO APPEAR) PLUS THE CATERERING IS HORRIBLE! BESIDES I STILL THINK THAT SOMEONE IN THE CAST READ MY COMPUTER ON THE TWILIGHT SET AND LEAKED IT ON THE INTERNET, I CAN’T BE SURE THOUGH”
    7.WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE A VAMPIRE OR WEREWOLF IN THE MOVIES? “OH DEFINATELY A VAMPIRE..DID YOU SEE HOW THEY LIVE, THE HOUSE, THE MONEY, THE CARS…OH WAIT, I HAVE THOSE ALREADY! STILL, I THINK A VAMPIRE, I WOULD LOVE TO SPARKLE!
    8.WHAT ARE YOUR HUSBAND AND SONS NAMES? “I TRY TO KEEP MY SON OUT OF THE SPOTLIGHT, BUT I CAN GIVE YOU MY HUBS EMAIL ADDRESS, IF YOUR INTERESTED, BUT I SHOULD REMIND YOU HIS NAME IS NOT EDWARD/ROB AND HE DOESN’T SPARKLE”

    HAPPY WEDNESDAY EVERYONE!! OFF TO THE DRS AGAIN!! HOPE TO BE BACK LATER IF NOT TOMORROW..HUGS!!

    • WIN!

    • HAHAHA!

      LOVED YOUR ANSWERS! WIN

    • HAHAHA!

      LOVED YOUR ANSWERS! WIN

      • Comment posted double again! I MUST be magic because I don’t know why our what is happening…

    • SUCH WIN! THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH. ESPECIALLY THIS ONE:
      2. DID YOU ENJOY MAKING THE BOOKS AND MOVIES FOR TWILIGHT? ” YES! 2 REASONS..GIZILLIONS OF MONEY AND A PRE NUP!”

      AH, CYN, IT’S LIKE YOU’RE FULLY BACK NOW… SQUEE!

    • so great!

    • MID CYN! LIKE STEPH (AND YOU) I WOULD LOVE TO SPARKLE TOO.

      HOPE YOU ARE DOING WELL ONE EYED CYN!

      • ANG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU!!!! SORRY I HAVENT WRITTEN ITS BEEN A CRAZY FEW DAYS AND MY LENSE A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO SO HAD TO GET A NEW ONE YESTERDAY! TODAY FOUND OUT HAVE TO HAVE SURGERY NEXT MON. 😦
        HOPE YOUR HOUSE PROBLEMS ARE MUCH BETTER! NOW THAT I CAN SEE I WILL WRITE YOU A PROPER EMAIL TOMORROW..REALLY TIRED TONIGHT AFTER ALL DAY AT THE ORTHO DOCS.
        LUVS AND MISSES YOU TONS!
        XOXO

  18. Omg, I think I might have passed out from laughing…
    Idk if it was that funny, but I musta woke up in a cheery mood

    Anywho, I have to share my good news,
    I got a job offer and graduated w/my AA yesterday! 🙂
    That is all

  19. Look at the Cougars shirt… is it a Kristen collage (is she a Krisbian?)

    *looking for wolf hoodie to slouch down into, making a pot of tea and dying to read some of the emails in the LTT crazy file* ….and hopong one of them isn’t from me.

    • damn, I may be in there for my typos alone.

    • “dying to read some of the emails in the LTT crazy file ….and hoping one of them isn’t from me”

      Hahaha! That’s one of the first things I’d thought. How awesomely funny that folder must be and REALLY hoping I’m not in their crazy folder. 🙂

  20. I was thinking that I’d’really like to know which aspect of the production of Breaking Dawn Stephenie is most looking forward to having control over, now that she’s’officially a producer. (Hint: start with the wigs. Please.Y

    • Oooh! And as a follow up, what detail or scene would she have chamged in Eclipse had she been a producer?

  21. The hell?!

    You mean to tell me Stephenie didn’t get those letters I wrote?!

    UC & Moon aren’t Stephenie’s assistants and passing my letters onto her?

    I feel so deceived. Deceived!

    Next you’ll tell me they don’t work for Rob and they don’t pass on letters to him either. WHAT?!? They DON’T?!

    This is just too much
    *breathes into paper bag*

  22. Holy.Shit. The comments are so win today. I’m just laughing and laughing some more. Thank god, I needed this. STB, where are you?

    • Total WIN!! i really gotta find a way to shrink down the huge font on my screen, the alt tab trick’s not quite as fast as my co-workers are

  23. I just discovered this site and I have to say you all are hysterical. I’m really enjoying reading this. I’ll have to try to dig in deeper at home. A little difficult to navigate on my iPhone.

    • we’re SO glad you found us. but unfortunately, we only accept people with the Jitterbug Phone.

      (just kidding. it’s a LTR joke- read through the archives and you’ll get it and laugh along!)

  24. That was absolutely histerical! That letter sounds like it is from one of the second grade students at the school I work at…..no joke she is 8, has read all the books and wears all the Twilight/NM gear. Not gonna lie, it freaks me out!! I think 8 is a bit too young to be reading this series……

  25. In the course of 24 hours, I’ve sent my first email to a fan site AND handed in my comment V-card. What will become of me?

    Just wanted to thank you, Moon, for the hilarious post (I’m always going to think of Pancho as Nacho now!)

    And thanks, UC for answering my email–I wasn’t expecting that!

    Can’t wait to hear the report from your real interview, where you ask questions we don’t all know the answers to.

  26. Happy for you guys!
    Will you let Stephenie know how wonderful she is ,she is my hero and please let her know
    my biggest dream is to meet her cause we have a lot in common
    hope u ask some really good questions and get some great responses

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