Twilight Unicorns, Dads & gynecologists

Hardcore Twilight Lover

Dear people who aren’t as excited as I am that it’s Friday but who are probably still pretty excited,

Did you catch how I mentioned on last weekend’s Open Post that one day while in Mexico I was relaxing by myself in a chair in the pool & I looked to my left and saw a woman, who I swear had a tattoo that looked vaguely familiar- (red flowing ribbon? I didn’t want to stare too hard but I considered pretending to take a picture of the iguana hanging out a few feet beyond her), whose husband settled in a chair next to her and whipped out a Twilight book- just like that. In public. Dude. I don’t even think I’d do that anymore. Cause if I did, guarantee someone sees it who’s a non-normal Twihard and wants to talk stuff that normally makes my pulse race, but not on VACATION. While other PEOPLE are around! Or she’d be sorta a fan, and in conversation with her I’d say something that makes it OBVIOUS I know way too much about this stuff…. Either way- lose, lose. No Twilight books in public for me! So it was a shocker to see this Unicorn be so open about it! I really wanted to ask him some questions. I almost got up the nerve to ask him for a picture. Dammit- I should have interviewed him. I was on my 3rd Caprina drink & it was 11 am.. what was WRONG with me!?

Anyway, seeing my Unicorn on vacation got me missing the good ol’ days when we’d spot Unicorns on planes, in our chat sessions, in the beds next to us & in the break room at work. They may be harder to spot these days, but as evidenced by the following letters, they are still out there!

Dadcase Rob Patatinson

We need to get your dad one of THESE- A Dadcase to hold books 1-4. PLUS there's room for the New Moon lunchbox & thermos- perfect to tote your midday snack at work!

Dear LTT,

I had to share my Dad’s thought’s on Twilight… Yes, he has thoughts on Twilight!

First of all, my Dad is almost 60. He reads constantly – good literature, autobiographies, history. He’s been known to preview movies before letting his kids watch them, just to make sure that there weren’t any unexpected and HUGELY offensive surprises. Of course, now his youngest child is 30 so he didn’t really need to worry about what we might discover in these “teen books”!  So…why did he read ALL 4 BOOKS? Because he has two grown daughters who haven’t been able to get over them. We’ve been discreet but little things outing our enthusiasm occasionally slip past our self constructed censors… (i.e. I took a trip to visit my sister in Paris and we just so happened to wait in line with all of the Parisian twihards to see New Moon on opening weekend!)  They all added up to him becoming a little intrigued

So with shock and awe I lent him my precious 4 books. Here is his review (yes, he reviewed them without my prompting! He does things like that!):

“Okay, first, I’ll try not to give away the details as half the interest of a series on vampires and acquaintances is in the unfolding of the narrative.

Second, I surprised myself by really enjoying all four books – there is no way the movies can do justice … but I might sneak a peek at one of them anyway.

4 books:
Book 1 – good start for the first 25%, bogged down in the second 50% making me think this might really be chick romance literature with a few twists, but the last 25% was action filled and full of suspense.

Book 2 – Okay, vampires AND werewolves no less. Interesting, nothing so goofy that you can’t make yourself pretend its plausible – after all, we are reading about vampires …

Book 3 – Another twist! And another! and one or two more – the author keeps adding in “life” and this reader keeps reading to see if nothing else whether she can keep this tale together.

Book 4 – I could hardly bear another book – what else could the author do with this saga, and this book at least looks bigger than any of the first three… Well, she found new directions, and carried through. This one was a page turner 75% of the time. This reader was trapped in a story that simply had to be read, as I had no idea where it would go.

And from this saga, the author is able to speak on themes of love, loyalty, family, “extended family,” responsibility, decision making, trustworthiness, choices, regrets, etc that teens might not want to read of in any other way.

I know it should NOT be sold with a small group study guide … but it could be.”

Truly, this twilight thing IS like a drug! Could there actually be other Dad’s out there reading Twilight too??

Still in shock,

A Unicorn…. at the gynecologist?  Oh yeah, read it after the jump!

This came after SnowWhiteDrifted wrote a letter to Rob.

"Today I will explain the procedure I'll be performing. First we'll have a rousing conversation about the need for Renesmee in the 4th book, and then I'll place this cold clamp in a place you'll hate"

Hey Snowwhitedrifted!

So I was a the gyno yesterday….I know this sounds weird, but stay with me here…anyhoo… everywhere I look I see something Twilight related.  The mags all have Mullephant or Rob or someone from Twilight on them.  I am sitting there thinking, “This is weird, it is kinda like SnowWhiteDrifted’s letter to Rob.”  I then go in to get my weight, yuk, and BP taken and the nurse asks me about Twilight.  I did not even bring it up.  I had a book with me, not Twilight though.  She says, “What are you reading?”  I say “Grave Surprise by Charlaine Harris”.

Nurse:  You have to read “Twilight”
Me:  I have read it actually, how about you?  (Thinking:  I hope this is a LTR/LTT girl)
Nurse:  Oh, no, but I have seen the movies and they are really good.
Me(Thinking: Really, good eh, defs not a LTR/LTT girl) Yeah, I am big Rob fan.  (Thinking:  Did I just admit that to some random stranger/nurse)
Nurse:  Rob??  Oh is he the Edward one?
Me:  Yes, Robert Pattinson, he plays Edward.
Nurse:  Ok, all done here, we will let you know when the doctor is ready for you.
Me (Thinking:  That was weird) Thanks

So I go back to the waiting room and am called back a few minutes later.  I get to the room and another nurse sees my book and says “Oh, have you read Twilight?

Me: Um, yes.  (Thinking:  What is up with this office and srsly the book I am holding is not even the right color, size as “Twilight”)
Other Nurse:  OK, here is your thin sheet to barely cover anything up with (this is what I heard, probably not what she said)

A few minutes later the doc comes in.

Doc:  Hi!  How is Maggie? (my daughter, he delivered by c-section)
Me:  Good.
Doc:  And the boys?
Me: yup, good, everyone is good.
Doc:  What’s ya readin? (He is kind of young strange doctor)
Me:  Oh, just this book my husband bought me awhile back.  It is the fourth in a series and I didn’t know that until I started reading and then had to go back and read the first 3.  I am just now getting to read it and I got it for my birthday in September.
Doc:  Did you read “Twilight”?
Me(Thinking:  What, not you too doc!) Um, yea, it was pretty good.  I enjoy a little teen angst once in a while.
Doc:  Ugh!  What is up with that teenage girl in the movie?  She was terrible!  I mean her acting was OK, but I just don’t understand why she was so whiny through the whole movie.
Me:  Yeah, I am not a huge fan of her character either.  (Thinking:  This may be the weirdest gyno visit I have ever had.  I know my doc is a little fruity, but this is weird.)

Then he started the exam and we talked about Avatar and whether my mole on my neck was cancerous.


So make all of our Fridays and tell us where YOU’VE spotted a Unicorn recently!! Tell me you’re still finding new ones!?


Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

74 Responses

  1. If I found out my dad had read Twilight, I would probably die of embarrassment.
    But he doesn’t even know I like it, so I think I’m good.

    Happy Friday!


  2. Whoo first! (maybe)

    I love all these unicorn stories! They’re everywhere! I haven’t met one yet, but I’m keeping my eyes peeled!
    Also, can we discuss these tix going on sale OVER a month early? I haven’t gotten mine yet (I know, I know). Should I be worried? I could be seeing it in a different town with some friends and my theater and there’s has a lot of screens….advice?

    • Man I hate bad grammar…obviously I meant “their’s”….sheesh….

      • Weren’t NM tix on sale more than a month early? Don’t be worried, my midnight showing last year wasn’t even sold out.

        Though, frightenedflips got my tix already apparently ‘cuz we’re gonna be on her turf in Cape Town for the event! Can’t believe I’ll get to pay in rand to see Eclipse…craziness!!!! (squee)

  3. Ok so my mom was talking about something serious and I had to tear my eyes from the screen while I was in the middle of the post. While she was talking, I remembered the pic of Rob with the dadcase. And I started laughing…needless to say she wasn’t pleased!

    Wow, an unicorn? I keep reading about them but I’ve yet to meet one. I’d probably be totally weirded out if I did meet one. I’d had enough when the sales guy at the DVD story started drooling over Rob when I asked him to play the NM DVD.

  4. Ok, why does that poster of Carlisle’s hair look hawt and in the movie it looks horrible?!? Please give me this Carlisle, I beg you!!

  5. Having my dad read the Twilight Saga wouldn’t be as embarassing as when my sister and I thought it would be a good idea to watch “9 1/2 Weeks” with him.


    xo obava

  6. No real unicorns in my life. But one of my gay boyfriends thinks Rob and TayTay are hot and we sometimes talk about them and exchange photos via email (well, I send them to him).

  7. Bahahaahaha OMG loved those stories… The Twi dad! The Twi Gyno! I may have busted a gut laughing so hard! Waaahhhhh I want a unicorn of my own!!! If there’s any out there… Call me!

    Hey I actually have a story to share…..
    My mom dropped by unannounced the other day. I was busy reading some pervy fanfic (MOTU). But just minimized the little Twilighted window on my computer, planning to get back to it later. I took the dog out. And when I came back in my mom was sitting at the computer reading the juicy lemon.
    She was all: “Oh my gosh [yes she says oh my GOSH] What is this?” [I am a 23 year old grown woman and I was completely horrified.]
    I answered: “Oh that’s just some um erm fan fiction.”
    Mom: “Luxie, this is quite dirty!”
    Me: “Yes mom, its full of lemons” [Then proceeded to explain what the hell lemons are] “Its Twilight fanfic, there’s lots of it out there.”
    Mom: “Oh. Is all of it this.. dirty?”
    Me thinking –only the good ones 😉
    Mom: [Looks confused] “How do all these dirty stories spawn from such an innocent, chaste book?”
    Me: I wanted to say, because of 4 long ass books chock-full of SM’s famous cockblocking. But instead I just said… three little words: “FADE TO BLACK.”
    She still didn’t get it.

    • HAHAHAHA! My boss continually uses a remote computer access (GoToMeeting) to show me either stuff on his computer or on mine, and the minute I get the invitation I freak out, close out LTT/LTR, Twilighted or anything else that I have open, frantically clean out my cookies and history and then just pray that I didn’t forget anything.

      I love in fear of being disovered…

      • @mariemarie:
        Oh don’t I know the feeling! I work at a pathology lab and am on the computer A LOT… even when I’m not doing work 😉
        Sadly, living in fear of being discovered is just a staple in the life of a Twi freak :/

    • Lux – so funny, I would have died – the boot of my car is the bookshelf at the moment – I daren’t leave anything around in case my very old-fashioned mum and young daughter finds them!

    • What are lemons?

  8. My sister-in-law’s sister-in-law (got that?) announced on her FB page that her husband read the books with her so they could “share the romance.” (I think she carries his balls in her purse too!) I was 2nd hand mortified for him…..until she followed it up with the comment that he loved them! I wanted to ask if they share tampons too. Even if my husband could read (joking!), I wouldn’t let him read these books. And I know he wouldn’t *like* them!

    • Ha ha ha ha! Yeah um, agreed. There are some things I just don’t want to share with the hubster. This perversionImeaninterest is private. Only to be shared with my platonic male Unicorn. That is how God intended this be.

    • Quote of the day: (I think she carries his balls in her purse too!)

  9. Awwww! I LOVE that your dad not only read, but reviewed the books! My favorite part?

    ‘I know it should NOT be sold with a small group study guide … but it could be.’

    HILARIOUS! Although I’m sure somewhere there IS a little cluster of intensely emo Twihards breaking it all down in a very serious-business way. I weep for them.

    My dad and I shared a love of sci-fi/fantasy books and movies. I’m sure over Sunday lunch one week he would have explained how he didn’t quite make it to the exploding wolves because he couldn’t get past the sparkly, pacifist vampires.

  10. Too frickin’ funny!

    3hbh, did you feel like you were in “The Twilight Zone?”
    I would have seriously wonderd if someone had slapped a sigh on my back saying “Ask me about Twilight”


  12. w.o.w. A unicorn dad AND a gyno, that is so funny! Why won’t it ever happen to me?

    I’ve noticed that the people ‘left’ in my life who have not read Twilight are holding out on purpose. Like with Facebook, it is now COOL to be the last person not doing it. Whatever.

    3boysinhouse, they must not see people carrying books in there much unless it is Twilight or something, maybe most people just read the Golf Digest and AARP mags they stock int hat office….

    • @ lapushbaby:
      “Like with Facebook, it is now COOL to be the last person not doing it. Whatever.” — Totes.
      That’s totally my sister right there!

      • …and my sister in law, who never misses a chance to tell me about it. She’s a gem, that one.

  13. Ugh I can’t ever see my dad reading Twilight. He’s just not the literary type. My (16 yo) sister loves Twilight too, I suspect as much as I do (I’m 25 btw), but neither of us ever let on the extent of our obsession. We get excited about the movies coming out and sometimes we’ll talk about it, but we never fangirl. So I don’t think my dad realizes what’s really going on. He started to watch NM with us but left about 1/3 of the way through, saying it was too “romantic” or something. He didn’t even make it to the wolves! Although he DID watch 27 Dresses all the way through with me, which was just weird! So yeah, I think it would be kinda interesting (read: awkward) to know what he thought about this whole situation if he knew the extent of it.

    And was I the only one imagining Carlisle in the gynecologist story? I mean, even without looking at the picture? Man, I want a hot doctor…

    • Speaking of, “He didn’t even make it to the wolves!”

      Does anyone else’s dog (s) totally go ballistic when the wolves fursplode? My dog *flies* off the sofa and desperately barks and tries to bite the tv.

      …maybe he’s TeamEdward.

    • Maybe your dad prefers blondes?

    • YES! Carlisle is for some reason always a gyno in my mind, I don’t know why. OK, I *do* know why, but anyways……I bet he knows his way around a speculum!!

    • Uh, my Dad loved 27 Dresses, too. He even stole it during one of those elephant gift exchange things at Christmas from one of his nephews.
      I cannot imagine my Dad watching or reading or doing anything pertaining to Twilight. I mean he got into baseball for me but that’s more of a guy thing.

  14. Oh 3hbh your story about the Twilight gyno office had me in tears! I think I’d have been looking for the hidden cameras or wondering if it was some kind of weird TwilightSaga -meets-Stepford Wives place and they’d all been replaced by Stephenie-Androids…

  15. Bahaha, both these stories just sound surreal to me, in the funniest of ways! I can’t imagine my dad or my gyno reading Twilight, let alone wanting to talk about it: The thought alone makes me shudder! I’ll hang on to my snobby intellectual bookish reputation, thank you very much.

  16. My dad read the first book, and saw the first movie, but he kept zoning out during NM, and I’m not sure if he’s seen the movie. His verdict on Twilight? “It’s okay…”

  17. Ha ha ha 3hboyshouse, I was cracking up when you emailed your gyno experience and was hoping you send it in to LTT/ LTR!!

    I think I asked 3hboys if it felt weird to say the full name, “Robert Pattinson” when we all know refer to him in the intimately familiar, “Rob”. Can you imagine if you told the nurse, ‘yeah, I am a big fan of The Pretty?

  18. As Bella would say in the dress shop in Port Angeles, that’s uncomfortable. I would be seriously awkwarded out if every nurse asked me about Twi and THEN the male gyno.

    As for my dad and Twi. Bahahaha! No. My mom won’t even read them. She won’t even watch NM. “I don’t like vampires.” Um, but really mom, it’s not about that. She saw Twi though. Not a fan. Baffling.

    Unicorns, I can contribute here! Just made a new unicorn 2 weeks ago. A hardcore one at that. He’s in the middle of reading, yes reading, NM. And we’ve already had Twilosophy talks over dinner (cooked quite late because we were having a reading party and he had to apologize for “getting sucked into it.” As if you ever have to apologize for that!). To ease him in, I pulled the red wine while watching Twi trick. Unnecessary. I ended up drinking the whole bottle shy one glass because he was too into it to remember to drink. After he said, “I can’t believe I like Twilight so much.” I knew it was then time to introduce him to LTT. So, hopefully he’ll comment today, nudge nudge, Unicorn (yeah, this is my handle, now you know)! He even quotes Twilight occasionally. It’s so enthralling.
    This pic today with the Cullen crest wristband, Unicorn plays in a band, maybe he’ll want this! His band sort of rolls in a Shiny Toy Guns direction, so I think it’ll fit their style. And he said he wanted to write a song called “The Cold Ones”. “Really?” I said. “It’s a great name for a song!” He replied. There were many things I wanted to say, all inappropriate since I have a boyfriend.

    Shit. My boss just started talking about someone named Edward. Everyday it’s something! Normal.

    • While talking about the wristband…
      I got a pink one with the text “Vampire Girl” when I bought the new moon dvd.
      Always wanted to wear in public for one day just to see if someone notice it, but never got the courage to do it =(

      • You definitely should wear it. Chicks dig men who wear pink. Unless it’s like a popped collar polo shirt… well, I don’t like guys who wear those shirts anyway.

    • TeamSeth, you didn’t have to use the wine trick, but it wa a nice touch 😉 and I’ll have to say your commentary has definitely been my favorite Twilight experience, so far…

      It’s true, I’m completely in! but so far I’m only up to Bella’s post-break up realization part of NM. It actually feels like the story is just beginning, i have no idea what to expect and I like it, especially with 2 more books waiting.

      How deep does this all go?

      • You would ask how deep it goes. Let’s just say, it goes all the way.

      • Um…UJ, is that you?

        “It actually feels like the story is just beginning” – Truer words have never been spoken.

        • Hey STB how excitng a real live unicorn! Welcome! and keep reading…there is LOTs more to come.
          do you think you can finish eclipse b4 June 30th? there is a challenge! maybe get Team Seth to make you dinner so you can read the whole night thru!

          P.S. I think your really brave for shraing your LTT/LTR statusd with STB io hope he keeps your secret well!

        • hey Ang, yeah it’s me, TS must’ve told you a few things already? Just finished NM last night, so good, and a viewing this Friday

  19. I work with one. I love him, seriously. He is the only person in life I can send Twilight-related stuff to and not feel mortified. He offered to go see “Remember Me” with me (!). Okay, he thinks Kristin is hot, but I go along with it cause I need him (kind of like Bella needs Jacob. Or something).


    Tell me that’s not awesomeness.

    *hugs my Briancorn*

  20. Actually, all men have read twilight, and love it. We just pretend to hate it to annoy you ladies back for all the shit we have to take once a month…
    Unicorns are traitors, trying to destroy our grand plan.

  21. Little off topic, but I bought a pair of Jorts today. So now I’m off to the pub to find some heartbroken Bellas to leg hitch me! Cyaaaaaaa

  22. This is too funny. I can’t imagine my dad reading Twilight. I think he asked me about the movie once and I downplayed it and told him he wouldn’t like it.

    Twilight talk at the gyno is too funny for words. Kind of a perfect place for a discussion as the clientel is all female…but strange that none of the nurses really knew much about it, but asked anyway. And of all places to find a Unicorn….*awkward* but hilarious.

  23. I met a Unicorn at my sons preschool – he said he liked my Volvo and my Forks sticker. He was one of the first people not to say what’s that about? He just knew – amazing. He was reading Eclipse.

  24. My husband finally read all 4 of the books, because he wanted to “understand” what I was obsessing over. And surprise–He actually liked them. We actually had some rather in depth “Cullen conversations” about the books while he was dutifully reading them 🙂 He earned so extra “lovin'” for that! when other husbands were mocking New Moon at the theatre after we finished watching the movie, he said, “I liked it. It really followed the book. those guys can’t appreciate it because they haven’t read it like I have.” How did I luck out and find this guy?!
    Anyhoo– I have fully disclosed my Rosession to him and doesn’t even roll his eyes when I mention Rob at the dinner table! (If he rolled his eyes he’d know I’d go all “fifty-shades” on him! 🙂
    Long live the Unicorn!

  25. I can’t get my mom or dad to read them. My dad did read the Harry Potter books, but that’s more sane, I guess.

    Love what UC said about saying something that makes it obvious that you know WAY too much about Twilight. I feel like that all the time. I try to seriously limit forwarding news, photos etc. to friends who like the series, but don’t LOOOOVE the series. Otherwise I’m worried they’ll just think I’m nuts. If they only knew how much time I spend reading and thinking about this stuff. Ridiculous.

  26. Unicorns REWL.

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