News Dump: All the Twilight News fit to print, Monkey smell, Bree’s back and bitchface

Turn off your smell-o-vision

Dear LTT-ers,

It’s time again… tons of tid bits of interesting info but not enough time to write letters about it all. That means it’s time for a news dump. We’ll let you know what we think about the news and you decide from there if you care that much about 100 Monkeys or how Tyler Houseman’s promo shoot turned out.

  • If these pictures had a scratch-n-sniff function this post about Jackson and 100 Monkeys playing at Bamboozle would smell like BO, ear hair, vomit, a melted Slurpee, an ash tray full of wet cigarettes, a used sweat towel from Jr High gym class, and melted Depp hair gel. Yup, EXACTLY what it would smell like.
  • Bill Condon is announced as the director for Breaking Dawn. No word on whether it will be one or two movies or 3D or not lame but he writes fans a letter and does get a few things right, he addresses us all as twihards, Twilight fans and Twilight Moms. *RECORD SCRATCH* ummm… BILL? We’re gonna need to talk about this later
  • David Slade got into the #goo stuff Monday night and tweeted till he got the munchies and left. IN THE FUTURE disable all communication devices before lighting up. Just ask La Stew.

Wait, she wrote a book about ME?!!

  • Probably one of the causes of Slade’s online hissy fit, Lainey Gossip posted lots and lots of gossip and speculation about what REALLY went on behind the scenes of the Eclipse reshoots or as officials are calling them “pick ups.” Personally, I’d like to think the cause of all the hub-bub is actually because of the helicopters Punk’d Images hired to get these grainy ass photos of Bella and Jacob out on a dock somewhere… speaking of wasn’t I just talking about Vancouver and docks?
  • The New York City paparazzi show us that they’re big fans off LTT by yelling the most amazing comment ever at Kristen while on the Met Gala red carpet… witness and then crazy Krisbians you can yell at me in the comments

We’ll leave it up to you to decide whether that’s a curtain or a table cloth around the bottom of her dress

Biiiiiitch please, I gotta tattoo

  • Promo shots for Eclipse are starting to circulate around the nets of The Cullens, The Holy Trinity and The Wolfpack. For what it’s worthy Leah has the best bitchface and rack hands down.
  • Robert Pattinson still loves to choke a bitch out. And wear incredibly tight, ball hugging, high waisted pants. We love it. We don’t.

Yup, that’s the news… I’m still thinking about Bree and being called a Twi-hard by Bill Condon…

IN THE FUTURE the news will be beamed to our brains. THE FUTURE IS NOW!

So what do you think about Leah’s bitchface? Amazing, right? And her hot ass tatt. Has anyone gone to a recent 100 Monkeys concert? Did I get the smell right? It’s been quite a while for me.

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

83 Responses

  1. I LOVED that Lainey article. Very inneresting, it was.
    I still don’t trust David Slade.
    Leah looks good. The tattoo and short hair makes her look totally butch though 😐
    It’s making me sad how dirty Jacksper has been looking lately. It’s been MONTHS since we’ve had a nice photo of him.
    Least when Rob looks dirty he still looks doable.
    And tonight they announced that BD will open November 2011!
    Ages away buuuut I’m not complaining. It gives me plenty of time to save for flights!

    • “Least when Rob looks dirty he still looks doable.”


    • Question: If BD comes out in November 2011 will the Twilight contignecy be at ComicCon in July 2011? Because I am going to ComicCon next year, all the way from Engerland (via Australia!), and that would be fantasmic.

      I’d love to see a little preview of Renesfail! Mahaha!

    • “I still don’t trust David Slade”

      It’s interesting that we haven’t heard anything from the cast about DS. Remember how they kept going on and on about how amazing and wonderful and nice CW was?

      Unless I missed it, I haven’t heard a thing about his weird little man.

      • It’s sort of in the sneak peak making of video for Eclipse. Bewley gives the most direct comment. I think they talk about him being really focused as well as insane.

    • Will there be some big LTT event to celebrate (or rather mourn) the last movie? (unless they split it in two). Trips from Europe to the US need planning, especially when combined with second hand emberrassing visits to Forks.

      Btw I am thinking these Eclipse reshoots are all due to Solomon Trimble, who finally found a empty space in his schedule. They just couldn’t pass up the opportunity.

      • Haha I was wondering that, too! Trips from Australia also need planning. Plus I’ll need to actually go get a passport. At least flights from here to LA are reasonably cheap.

        • We should totally plan an international LTT blow out.

          Imagine the carnage!

          It could be the beginning of something beautiful – ‘LTTfest’? ‘LTTCon’?

        • Trips from Canada less so, but this would be fun!
          An international event is definitely in order.

          • Definitely! Although the whole flying to a foreign country by myself thing is scary, it’ll be soooooo worth it. Imma need hotel recommendations so I don’t end up staying somewhere seedy haha

          • Jayde – I’m doing it in the summer to Europe and I’m scared too! I’ve never flown transatlantic alone and I’m not the best flyer.
            We can stay together and have Gossip Girl and Glee festivities in between all the Twilight hullaballoo!

            (please tell me I’m not the only one planning this all out in my head…)

          • Passport, visa, jorts – I’m good to go.

            Ps Why does my comp. still want to spell check ‘jorts’.

        • Yes! And apparently America’s Next Top Model is rocking $798 RT flights to Auckland (which I realize isn’t in Australia, but probably cheaper to get to than the $1,500 flight to LA)

      • An LTT event is so in order to celebrate the awesome horrible-ness! (Or would it be “horrible awesome-ness?”)

        Ether way,lets DO this!

      • Please!! Come to Forks!!!

        I will haul my arse out there and meet you!!!!

        (Anytime, whether or not there is an official LTT sanctioned event.)

  2. “Kristen, smiiiiile, you can do it!”

    I think this is the first news dump where I actually had already heard everything! Thanks, twitter. Actually, more like thanks @CalliopeBlabs. I swear she knows things before they even happen.

  3. I need Leah’s bra. That is one hot she-wolf.

  4. Only thing about the new stills that pisses me off: they’re all so ridiculously photoshopped they look more like paintings.

  5. Billy C needed to tack on “… and Normal people” to the end of his list of addressees. Then I’d know which category I was in!

    Also, I think IN THE FUTURE will be my new late night/drunk all-caps tweet, replacing my current favorite, BOTHERED.

  6. Ha! Looks like we might see some of my cringe-worthy imaginings… Did you guys see this the other day on :

    “She confesses that Leah’s story doesn’t feel resolved to her and foresees future writing from Renesmee’s point-of-view.
    ‘If I were to go ahead with the Cullen universe — and honestly I’ll do it for myself, whether I publish it or not is questionable at this point — but the narrators that I would go ahead with…would be Renesmee and Leah. Probably about the age of five, which would be about 16 or 17 for Renesmee.’ ”

    Here’s the link to the whole post;

    Maybe SM does read LTT & got so horrified with the imaginings she figured she had to set the story straight… Though I wish she’d offer us a fricking boone and FINALLY give us MS.

    • mmm boone.

      Oops, sorry, distracted by Ian there… but, Renesfail’s POV? Ugh. And POV of LEAH?? Leah hates vamps and Renesfail can’t read minds, how’s that gonna work out?

  7. Twi nerd alert!
    Err, moon, don’t you mean Tyson Houseman and not Tyler Houseman?
    Crap, why do I even know this much about the wolf pack? I’m not even a Team Jacob girl…grrr.

    Leah’s b*tchface is totes fierce! Might give Kristen a run for her money. Btw, I think BDh looked kinda bada** in her promo shots…just saying..may be not as evil-looking as Rachelle, but close…

    And WTF was up with DS and his crazy IN THE FUTURE tweets?
    “IN THE FUTURE there will be no need for actors.”
    Does this tweet have something to do with his and Rob’s supposed tiff?

    “whether it will be one or two movies or 3D or not lame”
    I don’t care about one/two movies or 3D.My only concern is that it’s not lame…

  8. Leah looks hot! How are they going to deal with her phasing with few clothes? I suppose the she-wolf won’t be showing her 6-pack. I always thought she should have jumped Jacob. Grrr! They could have had pedigree puppies.

    • lol – I agree. Both of them would probably have felt much less anger and resentment if they would have just taken it to the bedroom with each other. They just needed an outlet. & they would have felt totes better. Just saying.

  9. Um, I saw 100 Monkeys recently and noticed no unpleasant smells. Hmmm….does that mean they cleaned up before the show or was there something wrong with my sniffer? Perhaps my sense of smell was stunned by the excitement of being in the presence of Jacksper.

    • I also saw them recently in Hartford and Providence. The only thing I could smell was the stench of sweaty, hormonally-charged women. And rum and coke.

      • Oh yeah, that smell was there. 🙂 The place I went to had “all ages” access. So some of those homonally-charged women were mothers like Renee and brought inappropriately aged little ones with them. Yikes!

        • I know, right?? The two I went to were all ages, as well. I couldn’t believe moms brought their young daughters!

          Ok, fine, I can believe it. It did seem a bit inappropriate to bring a handful of 12 year-olds to a dive bar though.

          • Yes! I’m down with the kids, but I was a bit weirded out by the young ones. I get wanting to be a cool mom that shares the Twilight thing with the kiddies. But that’s NOT “Jasper” on stage (like they’re NOT bears) and neither the location or the show was really family friendly.

    • Did I just get thumbed down for saying nice things about 100 Monkeys? That’s harsh.

    • Really? You didn’t smell the rankness of bad pot? Coz that’s ever present. As soon as it’s legalized they’ll be smoking on stage.

    • Something must be wrong with your sniffer, Ang. I was there with ya, and Jackson definitely had the stale wet ashtray smell.

      But the slurpee was strangely absent! 🙂

  10. Have you guys seen the tweets from the Oprah audience who got to watch a rough cut of Eclipse? All very glowing in their praise of the movie. Seems as if Slade managed to sucessfully capture the romance between Edward and Bella. If you haven’t seen the tweets, it’s on the twifans blog

  11. i loved all the comments today, i pratically thumbs up-ed all of them.

    I am super game for an LTT convention, gimme the dates ill be there. and perhaps JacobsEdwardsWife, as a group bonding event, we can all be so blessed with a “hitch this” tattoo.

    DS is a whiny 3 year old, ignore him and he might go away and put himself back in time out.

  12. Just read the letter from my future director.

    Okay, Condon’s now read BD once more than me, listened to the Twilight score (who’s done that? j/k all you Twi score lovers.), learned about the bedroom audition in full and an account of Nikki Reed’s hookup w/ Brian the Friday’s bartender (via Cougwicke’s notebook), not only heard of Mark Cotta Vaz (who?!) but read his companion books (these EXIST?! where have I been? oh yeah…avoiding the B&N twilight displays), and knows about Calli’s barbie BD (volume 1 of the graphic novel, obvs).

    And he thinks HE’S a newborn? Er, that record just skipped again, if he’s a n00b, then what on earth am I? He’s way more hardcore than me… even painted a corner of his office black and dark purple Hot Topic style with an Eddie wallbanger up on the wall over the strip of black lace hot glued up there (you know he’s Team Edward, j/s).

    I was glad he called Forks/La Push a menagerie, at least he recognizes that they’re all some kind of animal.

    Anyhow, does anyone have contact info for him? I’m going to pull a Carey Mulligan a la P&P and write him a letter expressing my enthusiastic interest in being a part of this project.

    • *where have I been? oh yeah…avoiding the B&N twilight displays*

      Ha ha! I do this thing at the Borders down the street, whereby I stealthily snatch up something Twilight and picturey from the display as I nonchalantly pass it by (while checking that no one’s looking) and carry it over to an aisle with serious adult stuff (like Anthropology), where I all alone in the dark aisle, flip through and swoon over hot Robward pics. Then I shove the Twilight thingy somewhere amongst the Anthro books (screw the stock clerk; not my problem), tighten my trenchcoat, pull my fedora down over my brow and escape the store, with no one the wiser.

      Feel free to borrow my technique.

      • Will do!

        I must admit, when you said “adult stuff” I was expecting “Kama Sutra” books to follow as an example, not anthropology

        • That could work too! You could simultaneously flip through the Kama Sutra *and* a Twilight picturey thingy, get a nice mental mashup going and have yourself a great old time! (all of this is normal).

          Bookstore technique innovation win!

    • Um, I actually really liked the scores, esp the New Moon one by Alexandre Desplat.
      But, you’re right. He’s more hardcore than some of us. I mean, I only have the books, the DVDs, and the soundtracks in digital format. That’s it.

      • I like the NM score too (and it’s in my car cd player at current). Twi’s wasn’t my style, but I do like it in the film… esp that scene where Bella walks past Edward towards the woods right before the say it out loud scene. The music there makes me get really excited. And I like when they’re in the trees. Shit. Maybe I do like the Twi score and just didn’t realize it!!! Epiphany moment just went down.

      • I love the twilight score. I may have created a playlist with the soundtrack and the score interspersed in exactly the same order as the movie and listen to it in my car when I do the 20 minute drive through the forest to my house on rainy days.

        That’s normal right!!!

        • ZOMG!!!!!!! I did that with NM!!!!!!!! Though one of the songs (when she cliff jumps) is sort of interrupted by Grizzly Not Bears song. That’s frustrating.

          • what’s frustrating to me is that my iPod died and I had to get a new one, and even though I still have all the songs, I lost all my playlists… and just cannot be bothered doing it all again.

    • TS – don’t tell Condon you are less hardcore than he is in your letter to him. I have all the cds, so I got you covered there. So Condon has more Twi-merch than I do…thank God someone does!

  13. Re: Sladesy’s tweets: uh, say what?

    Leah’s girt tat, overall fierceness, I-wish-a-newborn MF-WOULD-try-and-cross-me look and rack are full of win.

  14. Kristen Stewart is so f*cking awkward it’s painfully hilarious.

    Kristen looking hot!!!!

    The NY paps are now my favorite people on Earth.

  15. I think it would be fitting to hav
    the LTT convention in Forks!
    Ill sooo be there!

    Leah looks too old for me and looks like a total beeze!
    Which is good I guess…. but not the too old part
    How old is she again? #fanfail

    Nonetheless, in all seriousness
    I need fellow twipeeps in my RL
    Moon & UC,
    Have the dang convention or rather get together!

  16. I truly dont care what it smells like, if J action was right in front of me looking like that, they may have to call security!

    As for Leah/Julia, get em girl!


  17. The papz scream was “Smile!”??

    I was sure I heard “MULLET!!”

  18. You are too #GOO

  19. OT comment: Apparantly, somewhere on the Pepperdine campus, a lecture on Twilight took place today.
    Someone there is totes reading this blog and stole UC and Moon’s Twilosophy class schedule.

  20. OMG, I just laughed sooo hard at that Kristen video. I just want to play it over and over.

    “…he addresses us all as twihards, Twilight fans and Twilight Moms. *RECORD SCRATCH* ummm… BILL?” lol

  21. I think ” Leah ” looks horrible. That striation in her arm muscle makes her look like she’s meth addict skinny, and she also looks really butch. For as skinny as she is, is that rack real?!

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