Tweed Edward vs High-School Edward

I’m almost home! Have you missed me? Probably not, because I posted some pretty kick-ass fan letters this week. THIS ONE is not any different!


Dear Summit Execs/Twilight & New Moon hair, makeup & wardrobe people:

Allow me to introduce myself:  I’m a thirty-something married mom.  Middle class, suburbs, Midwesterner, blah blah blah.  All I’m missing is the minivan and that’s only because that would cramp my style.  But I digress.  My purpose of writing is to discuss with you the urban myth of women hitting their sexual primes in their 30s.  When I turned 30, my husband waited with baited breath but as I was 4 days away from going into labor with our 2nd child, there was no sexual awakening that night.  The next year, same thing-hubs crossing the digits-but apparently taking care of a 3 year old and a 1 year old doesn’t make you frisky.  Who knew??  Another year or two or four went by and the husband was like a kid who has found out Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

Then in April 2009, I picked up Twilight.  I started reading it one night in bed while the hubs was snoring next to me, probably dreaming of Farrah Fawcett (holdover adolescent crush, RIP Jill Munroe).  I read through a few chapters and was intrigued but not hooked.  Yet.  That next night, I had a naughty dream about Edward and woke up………IN LOVE.

Cue obsession with all things Robward.

Cue voracious reading of consecutive novels in “The Saga” and the first of MANY viewings of Twilight.

Cue husband’s disdain (jealousy?) of my obsession.

Cue my discovery of the “fade to black” blanks filled in via *speaks reverently* FAN FICTION.

Cue………sexual prime!

See husband’s happy face as he finds out “Yes, Virginia, Santa DOES exist.”

Myth busted, Summit.  With a little help from a fictional character from  young adult novels, of course.

So why the hell am I writing to you, Summit execs and movie hair/makeup/wardrobe people, you ask?  Because as a newly inducted member of the “Sexual Prime Club” who fantasizes about sharpening her claws, I find myself noticing young adult men in ways I never did.  (That’s normal, right?  And I did say “adult.”)  Twilight allowed me to perv on a hot, hot, hot seventeen-year-old who is really a 108-year-old vampire but portrayed by a 23-year-old man!  GENIUS!  WIN for cougars everywhere.  I can fantasize but it’s legal.  I can lust but there’s no threat of jail time and ridicule from my peers.  (Well, there’s always ridicule but no threat of “pedophile” spray-painted on my driveway.)  I can perv without a visit from Chris Hansen.

This kiss gave me the chills.  He sneaked into her bedroom!  How hot to my thirty-something old self that knows how creepy it should be! “I just wanna try one thing” INDEED!

The T shirt.  That tight jaw.  The bad-boy sheepish grin.  The crazy driving.  The stalking and voyeurism.  It’s like someone read my 14-year-old self’s diary!

Then…..New Moon happened.  (And some particularly angst-ridden FF.  And some dreaded Christmas shopping. And flu season.)

Allow this chart to illustrate:

How Twilight/New Moon affected my sex life:

This is supposed to keep my sexual prime going strong?

WTF, Summit?  Where did that hot, hot, hot high school boy go?  I don’t WANT to crush on my college Anthropology professor!  I don’t WANT to fantasize about chalk dust on tweed.  I don’t WANT to role-play getting an A for “extra credit.”  (Wait-scratch that.  That kinda sounds fun.)  I don’t WANT Edward to be as grumpy as my grandpa discussing the Great Depression and how every “kid” under the age of 45 is on drugs.

I WANT my illicit (yet legal) thrills, Summit.  I WANT high school Edward back.  Now I know Eclipse will be out soon so this letter may be too late, but millions of thirty-something libidos (and the future happiness of their partners) are counting on you.  Leather, NOT  tweed.  Sex hair, NOT old man hair.  Tight, sexy jeans, NOT elastic-waist “slacks.”  The Cullen crest cuff, NOT Grandpa’s pocket watch.

To recap:

YES please

HALE NO!

Keep the myth alive, Summit.  (You can probably expect another letter before Breaking Dawn so you don’t go the “Dad” route on Edward with sneakers and bald spots.  “Teenaged” dads can be HOT too.)

Signed,

USDA Prime

Why have we never discussed this before? Teenage Edward vs. Old Man Edward. MOON & UC FAIL! What do you think? Are you into OldManward? Or do you like the idea of the 17 year old who is really 108 but played by a 23 year old Teenagerward?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

198 Responses

  1. Personally, I’m not sure I would have thought being in your 30’s was old enough to be a cougar. What’s the official “cougar age requirement”? LOL

    • A lot of people claim 30 is the cutoff for cougar, but I have to disagree. That’s just nuts! That’s just a slightly older woman, imo.

      Barbara Walters is a cougar. If you don’t believe me, then you haven’t seen Rob’s appearance on The View where only Joy Behar stood between Rob and public molestation.

      • I am definitely against 30 being the age. That is too young. Especially since I’ll be there in 3 years.

        • 30 is def. too young. I mean, 30 is the new 20 anyway. I think 45 hits the cougar mark.

          • I don’t qualify? *faints clean away*

        • Ya 30 is way too young.
          At least 35-40 should be the starting age.

          Thankfully Edward was willing to hang with Bella till she turned into Gramma Kettle w/out turning her into a vamp . .
          so there’s hope for all of us adults Edward addicts
          =D

      • I saw the View. Joy Behar could cut a bitch, you want her to back you in a fight.

        Gray trousers…giggles….”older the better”……gray trousers…….”Betty White”…..allergies…..did I mention the gray trousers?
        * drifts off…………sigh*

      • I was afraid for Rob in that interview. Barbara was ready to pounce. Plus it was super embarassing knowing his mom and sisters were 20 feet away.

        • Dude. I was waiting for Dean to run on stage to throw himself between Rob and Barbara.

          • Dean giving Barbara the elbow and knocking her on her ass?

            Now that’s good t.v. right there.

          • Barbara, the cougar that she is, would think Dean wanted in the lovefest too.
            Please pass the mind bleach

    • I’ve read that a cougar is a woman (35 years and older) pursuing a man who’s more than 8 years younger.

      Do I dare admit that I qualify?? Oh, how depressing!

      • Well, shit!

      • Great. I didn’t realize I was a cougar. Now I’m sadsies.

        • I’m in my 20s and say 30s is too young for cougar territory. 45 and older. It mostly has to do with how much younger of a guy you’re drooling over too. I say 10+ years younger qualifies you as a cougar.

      • Whoever said that is 20 years old. Cougars are defs over 50, imo, and pursuing a man at least 15 years her junior. Otherwise 3/4 of the female population are cougars.

        • Thanks for updating that definition, JodieO.
          Now where the heck is Midnight Cyn?

        • Yes, please yes. I don’t want to qualify my cat status as cougar quite yet.
          That would make Drew Barrymore a cougar and dammit (*cough cough*she’s my age) she is still a kid not a cougar. Right? Please?

          • Agreed!

          • Drew Barrymore is over 30?! Where have the years gone?

      • Ya it is depressing – but what would be alot more depressing is pursuing the 8 yr younger male & him not being interested!

        This is why we have to work so hard on our vanity – it’s a continual, grueling process.
        If anyone can’t relate, go rent “Death Becomes Her” – it isn’t pritty people. lol

    • I thought that the 30-somethings were “pumas” and those 40 and over were considered “cougars.”

      MEOW!

      • Puma, cougar….just as long as I’m some kind of cat and not just a perverted old lady. Giving it a sexy cat name makes me feel better.

        • Yes, I am okay with being of a part of the cat species. They are SO cool;oD

      • This is why us ladies WISHED vampires were real . . just bit me already & stop the madness. :p

    • I’ve heard that there has to be more than a 10 year age gap between man and woman for her to be a cougar. Therefore if you are over 33 and you want Rob…. it’s cougartown for you!

  2. Twilight Ed was hotter.
    Only time New Moon Ed was HAWT was the carpark sex walk and when he was half nekkid. He just looked kinda creepster-ish the other times. Also, his lipstick was to plum-coloured. ‘Twas WAY obvi it was makeup.

    • Agreed, Jayde! Except one minor add…he overruled the tweed during the groaning kiss scene.

      HOT.

    • Oh my you spoke my thoughts! Even though both the Edwards had red lipstick, Twilight Edward dressed better and had the buoffant. In New Moon, I LOVED the sexy parking lot walk (check my username *giggle*). And also the shirtless scene in Volterra. But in other scenes, specially during the proposal scene, he looked like a 40 year old man. Trust Summit to mess up someone as f*ckhawt as Rob and make him look old and grumpy…

    • Jayde — he was dead sexy in the slow mo walk in the Volturi hallway on his way to get their verdict. (right after they shoot the clip of Alice & Bella speeding in the Porche).

      Dear God but I think I wore out my Tivo on rewinds & slo mo on that short clip!!!!!!!!!!!!
      *faints*

      • Agreed! Loved that walk.

  3. GAWD Rob was SO HOT in Twilight!! New Moon was such a massive tweedy fail in my eyes. HOW they managed to make Rob not look hot is beyond me, I didn’t even think that was possible.

    Hey Summit, see those GQ pics over there? Dress/style Rob EXACTLY like this, then add golden contact lenses and pancake make up.

    It’s pretty simple.

    KTHNXBAI.

    • Sorry that was an accidentblametheiphone. If I could I would give you a gagillion thumbs up.x.

      Plus I’ve just had my first Pimms of the year. Ooops.

      • All is forgiven because you had Pimms which we both know is the drink of summer and good times!

    • Yes GQ Rob FTW!
      And Vanity Fair Rob..
      And Details Rob too…..(excuse me while I wipe drool from my keyboard…)

  4. Twilight Edward was hotter. No discussion. Except maybe the hair, which was way too bouffant-ish in Twilight. But wardrobe & make-up wise: Twilight Edward for the win. Looks like Eclipse is going to be better than New Moon though (of course, it couldn’t possibly be worse).

    • But I LOOOOOOOOVEEEE the bouffant!!

      • Me too!

        • Srsly? The bouffant was the only thing that bothered me about Twilight Edward. It was júst, JUST a little too poofy… made me want to run after him with scissors.

        • Me three!!!! I watched it again last night. I MISS the bouffant!!!

      • Yep, joining in the love for the bouffant!

        • Team Bouffant!

          • c’est un bouffant n’est pas
            i know sad i know his commentary off by heart at this stage, another new moon fail no commentary ….

          • U- not sad! TBH I actually get kind of a little sad when people don’t know the commentary. I’m thinking of starting my own Netflix-like operation but it will just have the Twilight movie and I will rent it out so everyone can listen to the commentary.

          • haha can i be vice president?!
            he’s so funny on it, and the coug, maybe we could out edit out “the rest.”

  5. Oh, how I love this letter. It’s like you’ve described my life BT/AT (Before Twilight/After Twilight).

    I particularly love the line chart.

    And thank you for this: “He sneaked into her bedroom! How hot to my thirty-something old self that knows how creepy it should be!”

    It’s really hard to defend Edward’s stalking, but you’ve hit the nail on the head.
    I know it’s wrong, but it feels so right!

    • Ohhh TY…the mommy part of me CRINGES when I think of the stalking…but then I let my 17 year old out and scream with reckless abandon at the SEXINESS of Edward in MY bedroom.

      • Don’t think Bella didn’t get off on it too. She was not at all outraged that he was sneaking into her room.

        • Yes – the only hot stalking ever in history. Peeping Edward. Love to re-read and re-watch those scenes.

  6. Twilight Edward – sooooooo hot it’s so true he’s gone down hill, ( Edward not Rob !!! ) And I am sure in the trailer or one of the pictures released of Eclipse I caught a peak of Edward with a TIE on a TIE I tell you – Has he got a job in the bank ? Not holding out much hope for any improvement.

    • Yes, I saw the tie. I was displeased.

      I think it might be that Rob is looking a bit ropey himself. Twilight-Promotion-Rob looked super hot and Remember-Me-Promotion-Rob did not. I saw Rob in the flesh at the BAFTAs and he looked didn’t look hot AT ALL. I wanted sex hair and stubble and I got Schoolboy-Rob instead. I think he’s looking a little strung out, he needs a holiday and a few hearty meals!

      PS: So many Rob’s, so little time…

      • “PS: So many Rob’s, so little time”

        Ahhh, the 31 Flavors of Rob.
        He is the Baskin Robbins of men.

        • OME you are exactly right!!!

    • I think he wore that tie during the graduation party because Kristen was wearing the blue shirt (which Moon called the ‘fake lesbian shirt’ or something like that).

  7. (for people who watch Family Guy the odd time) New Moon Eddy reminds me of the old guy that’s always asking Chris if he wants a “popsssssicle”

    • Herbert!! FTW!! “…wishin’ he’d come by and bring me some good news…”

    • “Hey there, muscly-armed paperboy…”

  8. EXCELLENT letter, USDA Prime! You hit on some deep truths here, sistah:

    Twilight bedroom scene- hot! even though we *should* be creeped out.
    New Moonward- BO-ring!
    Lack of sexy Edward bod- travesty!

    We want tight v-neck tees and magical unicorn hair! We want passionate kisses!
    We want playful Edward!

    NO.MORE.BLAZERS.

    xo obava

  9. if robward had looked like he did in new moon in twilight i doubt there would have been such mass hyseria!!
    i cannot believe they managed to make him look worse than ye acually does, althought the 20 second strut in the car park made up for it a little!!
    bouffant and t shirt – win!

  10. I think I kind of get why they made Edward look so haggard in New Moon… to show how tortured he was by Jasper’s almost eating Bella, the subsequent heartbreak, and the worry about the state of his soul… or whether or not he has one, that is.

    That said, he’s still Edward freaking Cullen, and he’s a perfect sparkly vampire who’s supposed to look like a model in a shampoo commercial!!

    Dear Summit,

    I’m not watching these movies for the intriguing plot or brilliant acting. Just saying.

    xo
    tuesday

    • I love this, TM!

      Edward needs to be hot so it makes it more believable when Bella takes him back so quickly after Italy. I reeeeeally wish there was an airplane scene with Edward looking smokin’ hot.

  11. High School Edward FTW! I think in NM the wardrobe dept. went too literal with the 108-year old thing. He may have been on earth for 108 years but the whole point is they are trying to blend in! 17-yos don’t wear tweed. (At least I don’t think so… I’m not as down with the kids as Billy Black but it wasn’t that long ago that I was 17 and tweed did not happen.)

    And Fantastic chart USDA!!

    • Mind you, when I was 17/18 we didn’t wear khaki skirts with red “blouses” (fairly sure that’s only a word my Grandma would use) or think that blue skirt-and-jumper outfits were the thing to wear at raves…

  12. USDA,
    I love you. I understand you. My husband too was hoping for the whole LIBIDO change at 30…well I’m 3.5 years in and nada. Except after sneaking Rob-porn of course…muhahahahhahaaaa. What…he’s ONLY 10 years younger than me?! Men do it ALLLL the time.
    Shhhh. Don’t tell.

    PS – My husband (I swear he’s not a unicorn, yet…) last night ACTUALLY said I was “his heroin”. I stared at him dumbfounded then blurted out “HONEY! You can’t say that! That’s what Edward says to Bella!! Remember? In the tree???” Sigh. I’m going to have to start watching the movies alone. He’s picking up lines and it’s creeping me the heck out. I only want those lines played IN MY HEAD.

    • And that is exactly why I don’t allow my boyfried to see Twilight, let alone read the books. And he’s perfectly content with that.

      • Agreed. My hubby has watched the movies once, but I try to keep him in the dark about the rest. It would be waaay too creepy if he tried to play Edward (and trust me, he’d be trying to recite the lines, to make me nuts, if for no other reason). There’s only one Edward, and he doesn’t live in my house! (Heavy sigh…)

  13. Wow, USDA prime, that letter was amazing!
    And like all of you here, I too want the Twilight Edward back. He had the buoffant I adored (except for the hospital scene where his hair made him look like a madman who had been electrocuted), I kinda liked New Moon hair. It was darker in colour, not bronze as described in the book but sort of coffee-coloured and I didn’t mind that his hair was flatter too…

    I also didn’t mind the grey shirt over the white v-neck he wore at school. But the birthday suit was horrific and the blue suit over the blue sweater made me throw up a little in my mouth. And can you believe those tight shiny pants he wore with that blue suit during the proposal scene?

    And since we’re talking about wardrobe, can I mention the fugly brown dress shoes he wore in New Moon? Uggh simply horrendous. I soo preferred the black sneakers and black dress shoes he wore in Twilight. And from the promo pics we’ve seen of Eclipse, I approve the black sneakers too…at least they’re teenage boy-ish..

    Btw that chart is hilarious! I choked on my tea while reading that…

    *sigh* The twilight kiss…was perfect…I don’t know about you guys but as soon as he declared he wants to try one thing, I hold my breath. By the time he actually leaned in but still hadn’t kissed her, I was breathless. Only Rob can do that to us.

    • EDIT: I meant black converse from the Eclipse promo pics…

    • Twi-Nerd Alert…
      Your comment reminded me of something. Last week during my viewing # 198097879084 of Twilight…I noticed something they missed in editing. Prom scene, when he lifts Bella up to stand on his feet…you can see him making this OWWW! face. It’s SO cute…seeing Rob pop through in that moment. I remember in an interview him saying how bad that hurt – even though she was light – (whatever, EAT) to have someone standing on your feet for hours!
      LOL. So…next time you’re watching look for it.
      PS – Maybe you all knew this…but it was new to me!😉
      End Twi-Nerd Alert.

      • at 0:33
        😉

        • ooooooooh my god..
          ive been tryin so hard to get over twilight and rob cos ive exams comin up and have loads of things i need to be doing away from my lap top but thas scene is a killer, he’s sooooo perfect in it, the suit the voice the hair, i love that scene so much i even think kristen is the perfect bella it it……. oh yes i did

        • Speaking of the prom scene… I may have watched it about 20 times this weekend because I hadn’t really noticed before how much Edward smiled while they were walking around and seeing everyone!
          There are about 2 glimpses of this Edward in New Moon. When they are walking through the halls and he says “How come Jacob Black can buy you a present and I can’t?” (insert smirk… *swoon*) and in Carlisle’s study when he says it’s his job to protect her.. not yet… from everyone but his sister (there!)
          *sigh*

          • you describe them so vividly don’t even need to you tube it!!
            love the avatar pic

          • Aw, I feel like watching New Moon again now..just to see those two scenes..

          • I like the sideways smile he gives when Jasper is making Bella feel better about Alice’s gift at school and Bella doesn’t realize it (yet).

          • Kadie- I need to watch that again! Jasper’s wig is like a car accident, I can’t look away from the atrociousness.

          • I agree, Keisha…it is hard to look away. Like a car wreck

        • He should spend the rest of his days in that suit. GAAAAAH!

      • haha…great observation. Btw, Twilight is on tv right now but I can’t watch it because my mother is watchin tv and I’m kinda embarassed to say I wanna watch a film for the gazillionth time! …and she already thinks it’s crazy of me to watch the same film over and over again…*sadpanda*

    • Hehe. I may have giggled at “birthday suit.”

    • “Only Rob can do that to us.”

      Truth.

  14. Wonderful letter and clever observation. Maybe this is why the package to my New Moon DVD hasn’t even been touched. Yes, it is sitting all by it’s lonesome on the self, still a virgin video. Young Edward is clearly hotter than Old Edward.

    I am so glad that you cleared the air and determined that looking at younger (albeit legal) guys is “Normal.” Hmmm, would it still be normal to linger at the campus Starbucks for hours on end, pretending to “study?”

    • haven’t watched my new moon dvd either boomin granny, still in the wrapper, all that tweed and lipstick such a shame!

  15. Well it would appear that I am older than most of the ladies commenting here, (over 50), however I too have an opinion.

    I like both versions of Edward, simply because as tortured as he is in Twilight, he is even more so in New Moon, hence the change in looks (but I still find Edward hot).

    IMO, we see more colours in NM because the cinematography was superior and lacked that ‘over done’ green effect which Twilight had (being more of and Indy production). So the makeup looks more dramatic. Call me old-fashioned… but I like his hair in NM, I also liked his hair in Twilight.

    Which ever way I view the two movies, thus far Edward’s chivalry, angst and love for Bella, echoes strongly in my romantic core, where for a while I can believe again in a ‘true love, a love that lasts’. You know… soul mate stuff.
    Instead of the “I will love you till the going gets rough, or something fresh and new comes along” mentality which seems to pervade such a lot of relationships these days.

    But whichever way you cut the mustard, Twilight or New Moon, Edward still appeals to me personally, on a baser level as much as he does on a higher level.

    Of course one can never forget the fact that the actor playing the part is the hottest dude to hit the silver screen in many years.

    I for one say ‘Thank You’ Summit, for bringing Stephanie Myers’ Saga to the screen.

    Thank you to the Directors of both movies for the different views and presentations.

    Thank you, Robert for being so gorgeous, genuine and gentlemanly as a person, and for being so good at your craft… You certainly make me believe!

    Thank you to the whole cast who are not only beautiful to look at, but also play their parts so well.

    Thank you Stephanie for echoing/reawakening all the deep seated Romantic feelings I have always kept deep within my very private heart.

  16. I know that Twilight helped me get to my sexual prime and that wasn’t until I hit 40! Thinking of Robward’s long fingers, and strong jaw and sexual kiss sure got me going! My husband might not like the competition, but he sure enjoys the benefits!

    • Another of the perks of Rob’s existance!

  17. Why no one said anything about TwilightPromEdward? That suit is hot (navy blue with a light blue shirt), with the informal tie and the bouffant in all his glory… a perfect young modern/classic gentelman…..

    • Don’t. Even. Get. Me. Started.

      *limbs turn to jelly, oozes out of the chair at the thought*

  18. USDA you are my new fake-lesbian crush. You described my life in a nutshell. Thanks to FF I have learned A LOT I didn’t know before, and as they say, every little helps – I know, right?

    Twi Edward way hotter than NM Edward, but as a secret Jasper lover I’m REALLY hoping Eclipse Jasper is worth the wait. One more wig fail and I’m done.

  19. Longtime lurker, first time commenter although one of the previous letters posted was from me (I’ll never tell…okay, one day I might).

    I think the point of NM Edward was Summit trying to let Jacob shine in it. It was kinda’ Jacob’s movie (and Taylor did a FANTASTIC job of making that happen).

    Hopefully since Edward gets to shine in Eclipse again, Summit will let that happen with Rob although I’m not big on the pastiness of the white makeup I’ve seen thus far. I’m sure I can move past that small detail though.

  20. Edward could have a turtleneck catsuit on (wait a minute, I’m trying to wrap my mind around that image…………just a sec……..ok) and I would lick him up and down! He could be dressed like an Eskimo in the very middle of winter and I would do the same! It’s that dang sexy jawline that gets me…..and his long flippin fingers!!!
    I always thought in Twilight that Edward should be dressing better – in the book he wears “designer” clothes, not t-shirts and flannel – so I liked what he was wearing and not wearing in New Moon. I liked New Moon a lot better anyway and wish that DILF was directing Breaking Dawn, but I digress….

  21. YEZZZ! Bring back “hot seventeen-year-old who is really a 108-year-old vampire but portrayed by a 23-year-old man” Edward, puh-lease!

    The New Moon duds –(yeah pun def intended there) looked like Edward raided Great Grandpa Masen’s closet.
    Bring on the pea coat and bouffant, bb! Hell, maybe even bring CathyCougar and team back for “hawting” up Robward again… I’m sure she’d comply… oh def comply😉

    But hey, at least they haven’t gone with SOME of Stephenie’s “designer clothe” descriptions: White turtlenecks for Edward and long khaki skirts (khirts) for (potentially Amish) Bella. Yeah. Stephenie Meyer doesn’t have the best taste in clothes OR jewelery for that matter… *cough* fug Grandma engagement ring *cough*

    • Okay…am I the only one who LOVED a nice fitting turtleneck sweater on a man back in the day? (Okay, maybe even now sometimes in the dead of winter…?)
      I didn’t that THAT shirt in the book was terrible, in fact I thought – “EDWARD in a turtleneck sweater that clings?!” HOT.

      PS – I may or may not be reading Twilight again…and may or may not have just read that restaurant chapter and lusted a tad. All the dang smoldering eyes crap.

      Hears crickets chirping…

      • @ Michelle:
        Re to turtlenecks…
        But then how could we marvel at Robward’s bountiful mount of chest hair??? Oh the horror!

        • Ohhhh Lux, maybe that’s the problem!

          Chest hair = Me gagging.

          LOL. I would *tolerate* Rob’s but prob secretly nair it off.

          • There’s chest hair and there’s “I’m not wearing a dark sweater-it just looks that way”-thank God Rob is in the first category.

        • Bountiful mount! LOL

          It’s the bouffant of chest hair.

    • -Bring on the pea coat and bouffant, bb! Hell, maybe even bring CathyCougar and team back for “hawting” up Robward again-

      i will eternally defend cathy for giving us “hot seventeen-year-old who is really a 108-year-old vampire but portrayed by a 23-year-old man” robward

      i personally think twilight is a much better film then new moon (que thumbs down) but those of you who don’t must agree she got the looks (both bella and edward) right and she did give us the kiss and the prom scene!!

      • Here here, undecidedsten!

        I don’t if Twilight is a better movie than New Moon in all aspects but I can say that I have much more of an emotional connection with Twilight. And have watched Twilight more in two weeks than I have New Moon in a month. So that may say something.

        • twilght vs new moon debate, overshadowed only by robsten vs nonsten!

  22. I have to say, TwiWard was sooo much more appealing to me. I mean, he had cute little smirks, little sheepish grins, le sex hair, hot vintage-ish tees, ahh the list goes on. In NM he’s all pasty, & doesn’t have any of that playfulness of youth. It’s already creepy enough that a 108 year old dude is after a 17 year old girl but the fact that he LOOKS young (in twi) masks the inappropriateness. In NM he’s just some creep hiding in the shadows of a teenager’s dream tweeded out in my local Salvation Army’s wardrobe. Come on Summit!! Let the kid fuss with his hair for a bit. Lay off the face powder, stop kissing her like you’re ready to bust & get back with the Twi bedroom “let me try just one thing” scenes. Is that too much to ask!?

    • -doesn’t have any of that playfulness of youth-

      ya even more so than the wardrobe fail, it’s the boring seriousness that killed it for me. more of this summit!………

      • sorry just meant to post the link not the vid!

      • OMGOMGOMG This might be my favourite part of both films! He just looks totally perfect there, it’s the only time he comes near to how I imagined him. Ray Bans. Cocky swagger. Crooked Smile.

        Well done, sir. Well done.

        • I’ve been feeling a bit stalkerish…so I decided to post for the first time.

          Shleeeigh, you said it sister – “Ray Bans. Cocky swagger. Crooked Smile.”

          Nuff said. My heart melts every time…

  23. Ahhh, USDA Prime! You nailed!

    Loved the fact that you brought up, “…I find myself noticing young adult men in ways I never did. (That’s normal, right? And I did say “adult.”)”

    LOL, and so true, so normal, so wrong, …so what!

    • two words … justin bieber

      • No, that’s a fetus, not a younger man.
        20+ and up. No 21, I like drinks.😉

        • “20+ and up. No 21, I like drinks” ha ha +1 (cant thumbs up anymore😦 )

        • Almost spit out my Jimmy Johns (YUM) at “no, that’s a fetus…”

          So true, he’s a doll…but like a BABY doll.

          • Jimmy Johns! That gave a flashback to freshman year of college (ironically I originally wrote flashback as flaskback)

        • We are SO on the same page! Is he really allowed out without an umbilical cord?

  24. I’ve never posted on here until today – I usually hang around LTR.. but… this post had me nodding in such solidarity, I had to open my big trap. It was like you were a preacher in the pulpit (on the pulpit? ‘evs) and I was throwing my arms around like a fanatic and praising “Hallelujah!”

    Totally right there with you, USDA Prime! Tell it, sister!

    And, according to Urban Dictionary – the pinnacle of truthiness – Cougars start at 40… we 30-something Pumas are in a class of our own!

    • I “thumbsed” you up solely for the word “truthiness.” (But the rest of your comments were good too!)

    • Oh, and thank you for commenting for the first time on my letter! That gave me a little warm spot in my heart-right next to Edward.

      (Yes, I was lamespice and didn’t post under my “name.” I guess it’s safe to come out of hiding?)

      • I thumbed up you for “lamespice”. I lolled

      • Lolz, you made a pseudonym for your pseudonym?

        Come out of hiding and revel in the comments of your first letter!

        • Yes, even my pseudonym’s pseudonym has a pseudonym. I’m deep undercover, baby!

      • You’re welcome! How could I not?

  25. There’s no doubt that Twilight Edward is way hotter. HOWEVER for some reason I cannot bring myself to buy any merchandise with Twiward. The brooding vampire thing does absolutely nothing for me. I did buy a New Moon lunchbox (it says Hardest.. hehehe) only after determining that New Moonward looked decent enough (Proposal scene in forest but you can only see a little bit of his sweater/jacket).
    I can already tell I don’t love Eclipseward’s hair. THESE THINGS MATTER, SUMMIT!!!

    • yep eclipseward looks more like new moonward but the wardrobe seems slightly better, which we’ll need to distract us from the pukeawful ring really stephanie really?

    • Ugh Eclipseward’s hair is terrible!!! It’s like Interview with a Vampire meets Marie Antoinette meets….my grandfather 30 years ago.

      • meets Marie Antoinette hahahaha! brilliant

  26. what i love about this place is that i can be thinking about (or obsessing over because it’s normal) something Rob/Twilight related and then know without a doubt, that someone else in the LTR world is thinking the same thing…and will write about it and be much funnier than I would be… i want cafeteria Rob back….(thanksyou USDA Prime!)

    • ok u win cos u mentioned cafeteriaward, who is a close second behind bioward!!

      • Promdate Robward. Best.date.ever.

      • oh wait…what about Edward’sbedroom ward

    • SaladBarward is almost my favorite… right behind Bioward.

      • Bioward…grey t-shirt ‘i’m edward cullen’ omg he’s so beautiful ward…

        Crap crap crap. Now I have to go You Tube THAT.

        Salivating over Bioward.

        • numnumnumnumnum

          And….my day is GOOD.

      • edible art?…smirk

    • Hmm. I think I gotta go:

      Promward
      Cafeteriaward
      Saladbarward
      Bellameetsthefamilyward
      um…um…

      hell with it. All of ’em.

  27. If anyone has been looking for Midnight_Cyn I’ve just had a message from her Twi-Daughter. She said that Cyndi won’t be able to use the computer for a while. but she misses us and thinks of us all the time and sends us all big hugs. Let’s keep her in our thoughts and cross our fingers she’ll be back with us soon!

    • Thanks JodieO.

      Hugs out toCyn across the universe.

    • Send big love! I tweeted her, but of course, can’t be sure she knows who I am!

    • Thanks for the update JodieO. Send her our hugs back.

  28. Truthiness should be in the dictionary! I’m sure it’s in Urban Dictionary though.

    O/T but I have no idea why my normal avi is not showing up on here. Is weird.

    • Yes, where is your Avi? It’s a goodie, can’t be replaced by the wonky Easter egg bunny that is showing up.

      • @ snow – I do *not* know what happened to it. It’s on LTR but not here. LTT doesn’t like me (or Tattward).

        • No, same thing happened to me for awhile. New gravatar wouldn’t show up on LTR but it worked fine here on LTT. *shrugs*

  29. I seriously love this group so much. I wish I had RL twifriends. I feel like a total loser all day except for when I’m on this website posting comment after comment. Too bad I have to work & socialize with my bf or I would be on here allll day while simultaneously watching/reading the series. Eff responsibilities.

    • Me too…I have a few “real life” twi-friends…but they just “like” the stuff, watch the movies, etc. They’re not umm…well…

      OBSESSED

      with it like I am.

      So normal. At least here, in our happy little Letterland.

      • LTO
        letters to obbsessed

        i think i’m glas i don’t have rl twi fans cos then i’d actually spend ALL day talking about twilight/rob!

      • I have one friend who “likes” it. But seriously, I waited in line for 2 hours for the NM dvd….by myself. For realz. I felt like Edward, hearing people’s judgmental thoughts. “Look at that weird girl. She’s all by herself because no one likes her…she’s too old for this crap. She needs to leave so my 12 year old daughter & her friends can get their dvd faster.”

        • Muahahahahaa…I had to go to Toys R Us today…I always meander by the Twi-paraphanalia (sp?) and then I have to beging the “act”. I put a look on my face like I’m just browsing – you know for my non-existant teen daughter/niece/cousin…once I have thoroughly browsed…I smirk as if all the merchandise is OH SO SILLY.

          I can’t help it…it DRAWS me to it…yet I can’t pretend I’m looking for my OWN pleasure. I mean, really!

          • Michelle…I think we’re soul mates. I have a special spot I have created behind a book in my bookcase where I keep my paraphernalia…my stickers, post cards, fan packs, folded up cut outs, magazine clippings…I can’t risk my boyfriend finding it so it’s behind “Riding In Cars with Boys” and “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. You know what I’ve found is helpful in public appearances? Whilst you’re purchasing your items, also buy some wrapping paper or a gift bag. Then when you reach the register, carelessly “toss” everything onto the conveyor belt as if you don’t REALLY care about it, but you’re just getting it for your little sister/cousin/niece.

          • I just Googled Toys “R” Us to find a location and you can Shop By Age. Uhm, 28. *sigh*

          • Tielle…

            YOU.ARE.GENIUS!
            The gift bag…the throwing the stuff up like you don’t care…oh my goodness.
            I just squealed…now off to Borders (I saw their New Moon stuff was 75% off!) AWWW YEAAAHHH!

            And ohhh HIDING the stuff. Duh. My husband scowls at the shrine on the end of my dresser. You know, the book set, dvd’s, 2 puzzles, the movie companions, directors notebook…and OF COURSE the HOT mags Rob was in. LOL.

            XOXO.

          • I bought an “I❤ Edward Cullen" t-shirt…for my daughter. She loves it, I know she does — even though she's only 18 months old. I mean, how can you not love it?

        • No, no tielle!!!! {{HUGS}}
          Why do we always assume the worst? I felt ridiculous waiting for the midnight showing of NM in my little podunk town but I wouldn’t have missed being there for the world! (So glad my sister didn’t go into labor that night!)

          • If she DID go into labor would you have waited until after the movie to go & see her/the baby & make an excuse about traffic or an explosive case of diarrhea…or could you hold off seeing the movie until the next day?

          • Tielle -Way to go all Barbara Walters on me with the hard-hitting question…
            It’s her first and those take awhile, right?😉 No, if she had called me that night leading up to midnight I would have skipped the movie but a call or text during I would have finished the movie, because I’m kind and silence my phone during movies. I would have thought the vibrations from my pocket were from the wolves or Edward😉

        • “She needs to leave so my 12 year old daughter & her friends can get their dvd faster.”” +1 ha ha ha

    • “…or I would be on here allll day while simultaneously watching/reading the series. Eff responsibilities.”

      LOL!! I can totally picture it.

      I know. I seriously need to go dress my child, who’s running around naked after his bath.

      Must…drag…myself…away…

  30. I’m in the minority here, but I like the NM Tweed. I will say, however, that it’s NOT hotter than Twilight Edward, but there’s something about that long jacket in the above picture.
    He looks more…mysterious, slightly otherworldly, like he doesn’t belong. It seems to me to be more of a “fantasy” Edward and I find that appealing for some reason I don’t quite understand. He is a vampire after all and since it takes place in Bella’s dream, I think it works….that scene at least.

    Quite honestly though, I really didn’t pay attention to the clothing during my viewings. #fashionfail
    I take that back. I did notice Bella’s fugly yellow slicker in the “I don’t want you to come” scene.

    • Ok, I was having #picture fail here but after I posted the comment and the page refreshed, I saw the last two pictures and I have to say HALE YES to that NM Edward. Of those two pictures, I like the second one better. He looks more like a man in that one, than a 17 year old.

      It would seem that I am NOT a large cat.

      • Bah, html fail.😦

    • OK, I admit I dig Tweedward in the metropire meadow coat. I have a very similar coat (that, iroincially, due to the nature of the comments at LTR today, I bought at a thrift store when I was in high school)

      I thought, “ohhh , he looks so .. pretty wearing my clothes.”

  31. I have nothing to say

  32. ok ok,
    if i had to pick an Edward
    it would be Twiward…
    but with new moonward’s hair…
    make sense?

    However i most def prefer New Moon Jacob Any Day :]

    • Of course! He’d reached puberty🙂

      • lol he sure has!🙂

  33. Sorry, it feels like LTR invaded LTT today. But we’re all a big family, right?!!!!

    • It’s how we like it.

  34. Um.. *What she said*

    Only I LUV the NM Edward – it’s the Eclipse Edward I’m worried about when I see that his makeup artist seems to have started doing Crack or something???

    Not sure how Summit can stop RP from real aging either – hopefully this 30-something Cougar realizes that he really isn’t a vampire =)

  35. I am also thirty-something with a 16yr old, 6yr old and a 1 month old…… Yea the 1 month old is the result of ROB HOT FAN FICS! And definately bring teenage Edward back!😛

  36. Also in the minority here, but I’m with Luludee. I love me some Twiward, don’t get me wrong. But Tweedward gave me the vapors from the very instant he lurked out from behind the trees in Bella’s dream. He is just so painfully beautiful. And let’s not forget that parking lot sexwalk. When I first got my NM dvd home, I watched that scene 10x in a row – THAT’S NORMAL.

    • You said it sister. All of it. Emerging from the trees = Aro (that’s me/my initials btw, not the 3000 year-old onion-skinned Volturi lead dude) died woke up and died some more. UNF!

      • Dude, that’s awesome re: your initials. You will forever be linked to Twilight because of it! And it’s cool, because you could totes use it to feret out Twilight fans in your everday life. It’d be like a secret code or something.

        • Yeah it’s like J-Lo, only without the glamour and the money and the ass.

          It was only when I typed it on a Twilight community for the first time that I realized the significance. Then I worried I might look like the one weirdo who was Team 3000 Year-Old Onion Skinned Volturi Dude:-/.

  37. I definitely agree with your letter, USDA prime. In twilight I thought Rob was attractive (well, in some scenes, like when they’re in the restaurant in Port Angeles w/ the ambiance lighting mmm and of course the kiss scene you mentioned. And that one scene where him and Beller run into the Cullen house and Laurent is there. Not sure why that scene is hot), but in NM he was awful. I quickly redirected my hot guy attentions to Bewley and Cudmore (and back to Burke, of course). I won’t lie, Taylor’s chest and torso weren’t hard to look at either.
    I am def. obsessed with Cudmore and Bewley, so in a way I suppose I am thankful that Rob was, uh, done down instead of up in NM.
    Here’s hoping for Eclipse and the return of the banana republic tshirt!

    • Quote from TeamSeth: “And that one scene where him and Beller run into the Cullen house and Laurent is there. Not sure why that scene is hot”

      It’s gotta be the thermal long underwear shirt! I do not like the hissing and I cringe whenever SM wrote that a vampire hissed but yeah, Edward is way hot in that scene.

      • Agreed. Hotness.

      • i forgot about that scene.. right thats it haven’t seen the dvd since jan need a refresher course. (and may or may not watch it again with the commentary afterwards!)

      • I love the hissing! I especially love when Victoria pulls away with that hiss, such intensity. It’s as if SM knew her book would become movie that Cougwicke would direct, and so she wrote in the vamp’s growl as a hiss. A tribute to cougars everywhere.

        God, now I’m thinking of that crazy eyes stare down scene when Billy Black suddenly can drive. Rob’s hot there, too. Maybe I just like his eyes? Hm… Crap. Now I’m thinking of that scene in Little Ashes when Rob’s sitting by the radiator watching Lorca have sex and uh, ahem. Le sigh.

        • “that scene in Little Ashes when Rob’s sitting by the radiator watching Lorca have sex and uh, ahem”

          insert you tube link here anyone _________

          • I’m at work, or else I would search.

          • sorry was just being lazy!

          • So… I found this one which is apparently just of Rob. It’s a “in the theater” video, so not top quality.

        • Ya um – I just saw some Utube clips of Little Ashes & about fell out of my chair….

  38. omg… bill condon wrote on fb what he will be directing and he is super stocked…
    he left us with this …

    “”P.S. Answer #1: No, there won’t be any musical numbers””

    he must hang around here!! lol
    but didnt mention whether or not it would be 2 movies…

    • They’ve already said that there ARE going to be 2 movies.

      • i must have missed that memo!

      • When did they say that?

        • I was reading an article about why it was taking so long for them to start filming BD & it was because they had the manuscript for it being one film but Summit decided to make 2 films so they had to re-write the manu.

    • brave man
      breaking dawn = poisoned chalice

  39. Agreed! Bouffantward was the secks. However, I think I’m in the minority about “the coat” in New Moon. I wanted to unbutton it with my teeth. Thought he looked delish. The tweed suit though? Nah. Did they not see the Twilight prom night suit? YES PLEASE!

  40. Yesterday’s and today’s letters killed me! I even forwarded them to a friend I’ve been trying to desperately (and unsuccessfully, I’m sorry to say) convert to a life of LTT fangirlship.

    “I can lust but there’s no threat of jail time and ridicule from my peers. (Well, there’s always ridicule but no threat of “pedophile” spray-painted on my driveway.) I can perv without a visit from Chris Hansen.”

    Seriously funny stuff. 🙂

  41. Oh and, P.S., off-topic, there’s a convention in my town this weekend. I would never go, but the Twilight-obsessed-teenager in me sooo wants to! Maybe incognito?? “Carlisle” is appearing today!

    Two of my friends sent me the info. (hmmm…I so thought I was keeping my obsession under wraps…), and one mocked it like it was Star Trek, so I had to pretend to laugh along!

    • Ooh exciting! Where is it?

      • Charlotte, NC.

        I swear, if I listen hard enough, I can hear the screaming from uptown.

        You know there’s a whole lotta crazy there, and I wish I were one of them!!

    • GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. I wholeheartedly agree 100%… I love me some high school rob! But I still loved New Moon, just not Edward in New Moon.

    • Scratch that, I meant “High School Edward” not “High School Rob”… now I sound like a real pedo.

  43. I think oldmanward is hella sexy.

    kthanxbai.

  44. USDA Prime, you’re reading my mind! I’ve spent the last year and a half (since I first saw Twilight) obsessing over fictional 17-year old boys played by 20-something actors. Anyone out there watch Friday Night Lights? That’s a great place to ogle fictional 17-year old boys. I never know if I should bake them cookies or jump on them!
    My husband has definitely gotten the benefits of this new found hobby of mine. Of course, the fan fiction doesn’t hurt. He thinks it’s because I had my tubes tied. I don’t know that he’s associated it with Twilight and Edward. If he has, he hasn’t mentioned it to me.

  45. I will be a CRADLE ROBBIN mo fo any day for highschool Edward. However even old Edward is still ok too…………..

  46. OMG!! I stumbled upon your blog on Friday, and I never thought I would say this out loud (well, okay, in my head!) but Twiward was sooooooo much hotter, sexier, gorgeous. I just wasn’t able to admit to myself before that newmoonward was a little bit err… wrong!! But he is. I have spent many an hour comparing the two but not being able to put my finger on it (ahem!) The suit – WTF is that all about. The coat in the dream is ok, and yes he looks BEAUTIFUL and other wordly, and yes dreamlike, but the rest of the time …. what happened to the Twiward who jumped on top of Bella’s Chevvy wearing a Gillet and being all youthful and that smirk (oh god that smirk) on his beautiful face???? OK NM has its good points (very good points), the sex walk in the parking lot, the groaning and kissing after the bday party, the barechestedness in Volterra, the kissing (oh the barechested kissing) inside the clock tower thingy but other than that NOTHING!
    Promward, oh promward… we need him back so we can dream. And more prom neck kissing is needed I could watch that bit all day long and NEVER get tired of it. Am hoping for BIG things from Eclipseward and seriously hoping for NO MORE TWEED Oh and yes, I nearly forgot I saw the tie too in the trailer – Oh jeez!!! I can’t even go there!!!

    Right best get my ass in the kitchen or there will be no tea tonight! Oh and I am most definately a big cat!!!

    Love to you all
    x

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