WTF is this?! It's like an alternate universe!
Dear Big Daddy,
Are you sad now that Taylor’s 18 and he no longer needs you? Have you and Chris Hansen met up at Buffalo Wild Wings for all-you-can-eat hot wings night because both of your schedules are virtually empty? Did you guys cry into your pitcher of domestic beer and hold each other because if there’s no need to babysit Taylor or bust us pervs than there’s no reason to live?
I saw these pictures of Taylor today and all I could think about was how sad you must be. There’s just something missing from a Taylor airport picture when you’re not in it! Sure, he’s rocking the obligatory leather jacket and that’s nice to look at for a hot minute but then I get anxious, I want to see YOU and the dad belt cell phone, pushing the luggage cart, looking for a Pizza Hut Express, thinking about ordering the personal pan pizza AND the bread sticks. What are we going to do now!? What are YOU going to do now?
Good thing I have a lot of time on my hands (read: none, I’m writing this at 1 in the morning but I love you, so I don’t care) because I came up with some ideas for you…
No, that's not an Egg McMuffin in my carryon this time, sir
Stuff you can do with your free time:
01. Finally look into those fast food franchise opportunities! I’m sure the valley needs a Sonic or a Chick Fil A (PLEASE!) and what quiet neighborhood doesn’t need a McDonald’s on the corner of their block?
02. Finally enroll in Olive Gardens “Culinary Institute of Tuscany” so you can make that Soup, Salad and Breadsticks at home any time you want!
03. Take Taylor’s Audi out for a joy ride. Call the paps and tell them “Taylor” is going to Morton’s, show up and peel out in front of them wearing your dad Oakleys. Cruise the Disney lot for some fresh meat to take to lunch. Leave fast food trash behind the front seat for Taylor to find when he comes home.
04. Get drunk on your personal supply of Olive Garden’s house wine. Drunk dial Selena Gomez and reminisce about “the good ol days.”
OH NO, I just thought of this: this means NO Big Daddy in Vancouver for reshoots??!!!! My reason for living is OVER!
Good bye world!
Themoonisdown
Ehhhh not to so fassssttt………………………………………..
Oh hai there prepare for #charitytweets and #jesustweets and #straighttweets
Dear Kellan or should I say @KellanLutz (heh, heh!)
After a long hard day of whatever it is I do in my real life I came home to see a tweet saying your brother (who knew you had a brother, let alone who knew his twitter handle? Obvious we’re NOT REAL fans) had tweeted a mysterious new account called “@kellanlutz” so quicker than you can say “youth group lock in” I got myself over there to check it out. I needed to know if you had finally joined the insanity… and I found this…
enlarge this to break it down
So I started dissecting that thing like no bodies business and here’s the reasons I came up with that I think this is your official twitter…
Reasons I think @kellanlutz is for realz:
01. The profile pic is of you at a Cardinals game (holla AZ!) with some dudes crotches behind you that we’ve never seen before
02. the name @kellanlutz – what weirdo faker didn’t already have this? This HAS to be official or twitter ganked it for you on your behalf
03. You’re following @younglife – jesus luver! And we KNOW how much you love some hey-zeus!
04. You used the word “indigenous” (he googled that shit)
05. You followed @ashleymgreene (his true love/beard) BEFORE @IAMannalynnemcc
06. Your first tweet references being a “light to this world” – YUP, jesus lover
07. You’re following @samantharonson – You love lesbians both real and fake and since Kristen doesn’t have a twitter you had to go with the next best option.
So without having the hallowed verified check mark or emailing your people and having them call our people, cause who has time for that? These are the reasons I KNOW it’s you. And I’m here to say, it’s alright… I know you read us and it’s ok for you to follow us. Just do it… press that “follow” button… NOW!
Your #1 Accountability Partner,
Themoonisdown
PS You might wanna read my How To Twitter guide I wrote for @twilight… might help you out in the future
PPS Are you following me as I late night Tweet? West Coast Wins! 😉
Sooooo what will we do without Big Daddy? What other stuff could he do with his free time now? Do you think @KellanLutz if for realz? How long do you think it will take before he gives in and follows us? I’m on a mission. We broke down Kaleb Nation in a week… can we get Kellan Lutz? What other indicators make you think that’s the real KL?
Stuff:
Dudes it’s that time again… time to empty out the DVR and make room for Eclipse! The lovely Jena has made an all new Eclipse DVR alertpage over on the forum. CHECK IT before you wreck it.
Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter
Filed under: Kellan, Taylor Lautner, Taylors Dad, Twilight, Twilight News | Tagged: @kellanlutz, accountability partner, Airport, Anna Lynn McCord, Ashley Greene, Audi, Avatar, babysit, bible study, Big Daddy, body guard, Buffalo Wild Wings, Cardinals, charity, Chris Hansen, Football, Jesus, joy ride, kellan lutz, Kristen Stewart, LAX, McDonalds, official twitter, Olive Garden, picture, Samantha Ronson, Taylor Lautner, Tuscany, tweets, Twilight, twitter, vancouver, Young Life |
Um, I usually can sniff out a faker account but this one seems quite legit! Hope it is him.
And, as per usual, you are hilar, Moon! x
It’s him! He just Twitpic’d himself wearing a charity T-shirt. Plus TwilightFB Twitter are saying it’s him.
WE KNEW IT ALL ALONG!! yeaaaa!!!
Poor Big Daddy…out there all alone! sniff sniff 😦
Maybe if we leaves trail of fish burgers he’ll find his way to ltt and we can plan how to bring wayward Taylor back into line. In the meantime I hope bald bodyguard (who I am developing some affection for esp. as he holds onto TaytorTot’s shirt like he’s a 2year old about to run off into the traffic) sticks close cause Kristen’s got her black tee all in a knot and that’s got to mean something, I don’t know what, but SOMETHING.
Maybe it’s a sign for Big Daddy to land the Tardis. YEAH!
YES!! I think this is a great plan, may some OG breadsticks to really keep him on trail.
Oh, Sj, you had me at “who I am developing some affection for”, but then you went all tardis on me. And now I can’t stop thinking about this.
(Last night I skipped watching gossip girl online to write a Doctor Who Basics email for Ang. Totes worth every second.)
Heehee
like hes about to run into traffic! HAHAHAHA i love that the actors are treated like they’re toddlers. i mean they’re actors after all right?! HEEYYOOOO
HAHAHA! The shirt hold! I still do that to my kids, and they are a lot older than 2! I think I may be doing it to them when they are 40! lol.
Taylor, Vancouver, blah-blah-blah…
Let’s get to what’s serious here:
IS HE FOLLOWING RICK WARREN? This will be the solidifying answer, Moonie.
Also, do we LOVE that Kellan’s avi has a random denim crotch behind his head? A *male* crotch, at that? We do. It’s like God knew…’cause He did.
Don’t be such a religious snob. 😉
I cannot help it. It’s just a part of my very nature.
Dear Moon, I can’t believe you didn’t share Kels bros Twitter with us. Did you think we would freak him out? Did you not trust us to be ‘normal’?
The word “normal” have no place on this blog…
But Normal has a huge place on this blog…
Indeed, Normal defines this blog.
word.
I just used #ThatsNormal on Twittah because of this place. That’s Normal
you dont already know it?! hahaha im sure it’s easy to find if you just look at who kellan’s following! 🙂
Ah ha, take that my techtardedness.
Ok, I have “All By Myself” playing through my mind while reading about Big Daddy. I’m very sad for him.
And I agree. I think it is Kellan. Today he’s building houses in NOLA and he tweets a picture with it. Yep, he’s wearing the ugly grey beanie.
I thought about this clip while reading your post 😛
OMG that is the funniest shite I have seen EVER!! And exactly what was needed.
LOVE! I ❤ GLEE!
I think he is building houses in Jamaica actually because he looks like he’s been hitting some Jamaican grass in that twitter pic….I’m just sayin…
With Laurent and Cougwicke and her jamaican me crazy dreads, obvs.
I think it’s for real. He is so smokin hawt! Yum!
Please tell me what the appeal of Twitter is! I have been on there a couple of different times and I just can’t seem to “get” why people like it. Please, please enlighten me!!!
I think it’s dif. for everyone. I started using it as a Twi/LTT chat platform, then I started a RL account and rarely use my Twi acct now. In my RL account I still have chatting, but I have followers/follow people in my field of work (writing), which really helps to hear about opportunities and get support for my work. I’ve also been asked to guest blog, and found people to guest blog for me through these connections.
I’ve followed local people and businesses, which are great to hear about discounts and special offers, as well as learn new places to go out or events happening in town.
I follow NYTimes, NHL, MLS so I have pretty immediate updates on what’s happening in the world and in my fave sports (the sports info I use to impress my boyfriend ‘cuz I’ll know stuff before he does hehe)
That said, I don’t have internet on my phone and I can’t tweet at work, so I’m more of an evening twitterer.
Aw, it’s so exciting watching little Tay take his first steps alone into the Big Wide World. He’s grown up so much, sigh. It seems like only yesterday he was Jailbait & I was in deep moral turmoil…
Who’s going to make sure Big Daddy goes to the gym now?
I’m so going to follow Kellan to see if all your evangelical instincts are right about him…then I can point him out to the Twi-girls in my church youth group as high quality Godly-totty. So important to have the right role models…
I have know idea what TL pimp means, but I have been talking to you on the Twitter.
PS Twi-girls youth group, WIN!
PSS Are you a youth, how old are you?
TL = Twitter Life ?
Taylor Lautner?
TeamSeth- *face palm* That didn’t even cross my mind.
twss.
It means Taylor Lautner…cos you tagged pics of him. I’m not a Youth (biologically). I am, however, a Youth Worker, for my many sins.
You sayin’ that you’re down with the kids?
Down with the kids? I’d have to start taking drugs/smoking/drinking/getting in trouble with police for these kids to think I’m cool…oh, wait, that’s my other kids…my church kids not so much, mostly. I’m not coo but they do try to cuddle me quite a lot, both sets…
Well, Kellan Lutz will surely love you
I’m a woman with a large rack. I’m a shoe in for Kellan.
“I’m a woman with a large rack. I’m a shoe in for Kellan.”
omg i died laughing. DIED.
Dear big daddy,
It sucks to know your kid doesn’t wanna hang w/you
Now that he’s old enough to be alone…
You can always come hang w/me
And hit up home town buffet…
They have bomb steaks..
Let me know, k?
KiKi
HOMETOWN BUFFET mention ftw
Noooo Big Daddy can’t have left lil Taylor to make his own way in the world!!! What I reckon happened was he said “Tay son, you’re a man now, so I am passing on the duties of a man to you. Wait here and get the luggage while I go on ahead to McDonalds.” So it LOOKS like Taylor’s all alone but he isn’t really… kinda like when your Mum would send you into town on an errand for the first time but would secretly follow you…
I think I saw pics of Big Daddy with the little dude in Van City this morning, so tomorrow you can post the ‘Reunited and it feels so goooood’ post.
Oh, and WEST COAST WINS! Thanks for the shout-out, Moonie.
Ooooh! Big Daddy must have driven ahead so he could fulfill his life long dream of stopping at every McDonalds drive thru between LA and Canada.
Yay WEST COAST WINS! 🙂
You are kind of a bi-partisan coastal gal, though!
😉
That’s true. I’m trying to commit though. I’m even cheering on the Canucks!
west coast ALWAYS win. sorry east coast you were asleep when i wrote that, couldnt defend yourselves could you?! 😉
MOOOHHAHAAHA
West Coast wins! Oh. Wrong West Coast.
Doesn’t matter, any West coast will do!
😉
Moon you rocked this. I can’t wait to write to my new Religious BFF on Friday.
PS Eastcoast > Westcoast, right Marta?
Im not marta but Im replying anyway
Eastcoast baby. East side fo’ life.
(thumbs down was me 😉 )
Thumbs DOwn for your Thumbs down. 😉
omg! do you remember when we used to go “East-West expressway” and do the westside gang sign?! maybe that was just me.
totes!!! but no one else will get that…unless they are from Orlando….anyone?
East-West expresssswaaaaay!!!
Thumbs up for jumping in there. #EASTCOASTWINS, regardless of what Moon says
WRONG.
Thumbs Down.
PS I hate you
[…] LettersToTwilight […]
I’m sorry – what was today’s post about? I was distracted by Taylor’s back muscles.
PS when I first typed that I seriously typed “Jacob” instead of Taylor.
Also, I really want Kellan to lead all the music at the youth group lock-in, playing the acoustic guitar and wearing Reefs flip flops, leading us in a rousing medley of Shout to the Lord, As the Deer Panteth for the Water, and a mash-up of Jars of Clay/Audio Adrenaline…Hallelujah!
youth group lock in! hahaha!
ah yes. the good old youth group lock in…. sing, make out in the back to church (what!), play dogeball…break your foot. yes those are my youth group lock in memories.
Oh man – my memories are very similar to yours! Minus the broken foot and add the smell of sweaty pre-teen boy-stink running around trying to kill each other on a Skittles and “Church Punch” sugar high. And it never struck me as odd at the time that we were indeed LOCKED in!
Lock In? Serious? I bet your parents partied on those nights.
And I’ll be at the back, singing, but with one eye open & my arms down, ready to catch anyone sneaking out for a crafty snog. ‘As the DEER panteth, teenagers, the DEER’.
Why is Tay so pretty from so many angles? WHY? *shakes fist*
HAHA!
And yes, from each and every angle…oh, the possibilities…
You know that “shimmer” that happens when the wolves phase? That is the reaction I get over my whole body when looking at his gorgeousness. Well, you know – shimmer/shiver…same dif.
Yes! Eyes straight to back muscles. Reminds me of a guy I sat behind in high school geog., totally blocked out all view of teacher and rest of class. Best class ever.
Poor Big Daddy 😦
He needs a Twitter account!! Then we can tell him how much we love him and cheer him up!
@bigdaddylautner
srsly
Where is everyone today?! MidCyn? JodieO? Tuesday? Snowwhitedrifted? Everyone else I can’t think of right now?
The ‘Couve?
And where is Illegal? And Fang? It’s been, what, weeks since we have heard from them…Now that is definitely NOT normal. Like they have better things to do – please!
Maybe they all stowed away in the back of Big Daddy’s van & are all madly in love with him, & can’t show their faces in case all the Team Edward peeps beat them to death with mini-Edwards?
I know Illegal SAID she loved Taycob, but I think that was only when he was Illegal. Cyn is cheating on Blanket Eddie with one of Big’s t-shirts, which is roughly the same size. Fang is being snarky, but looking fondly at the BIg out of the corner of her fluttery eyes. Oh yes! I can see it now.
For sure they are in Big Baddy’s van – wishing there were seat belts in the back for when he makes those speedy illegal U-Turns ’cause he caught a whiff of a Fillet-O-Fish 2 blocks back…And can you blame him? Those things ARE pretty tasty – for reals! I heart you, Big Daddy – I just don’t think your heart hearts you very much – please, keep working out with Taylor, and have someone send us pics.
I think, it begins with a “T” and ends in an “R”
Tour? They are on tour together?! Singing Twilight-themed songs, yes?
The River? They are building rafts like Huck Finn and going on adventures, raising money white-washing fences?
Seriously – what is T……..r???!?!?!?!?!? Is this something obvious I just don’t get???
And yes, I do get it, in case anyone was wondering…
I don’t get it! Starts headbutting wall in anticipation of being outed as thick…
Wait – I can’t tell if you are kidding or not! Hint:TayloR
Not on a Tardis Tour? 😦
That’s just us.
they left us for the great north. biotches
I seriously need to hear from Midnight Cyn or someone who’s in touch with her regularly to see if she’s doing OK! I worry.
They just announced the new Breaking Dawn director — Bill Condon. He won an Oscar for Gods and Monsters back in the late ’90’s…
They didnt say anything about breaking it into 2 movies, though 😦
Sweet! Thanks for the update!
Great, they can have a subtitle for Breaking Dawn:
The Twilight Saga Final Chapter: Breaking Dawn–Sex Gods and Monster Babies.
And that’s pretty much all I have to say today, because I don’t care one way or the other about Taylor or Kellan. There, I said it. They both remind me of the guys at the gym who work out too much and look at other guys working out.
Love your brutal honesty! Hilarious.
BAHA! Sex gods and monster babies! I lol’d!!!
I loved Chicago….but now I all can think about is Breaking Dawn the Musical!
Umm…proofreading is not my strong suit.
…But now all I can think about…..
I would totes see Breaking Dawn: The Musical. Wouldnt it be even better if it was done with puppets, Avenue Q–style. I think I would enjoy it more if Renesmee was a puppet, instead of a bloody monster biting her way out of her mother’s womb… -shudder-
Wow, I’m totally random, today!!
Potter Puppets!
OMG the vampire puppet show musical from Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Someone contact Jason Segal immediately!
Thanks so much guys. I’m so frickin’ suggestible, I just has to have Olive Garden for lunch.
Also, I thought Annalynn was the beard and Ashley was the “Grace”…
“and Ashley was the “Grace” ”
LOVE.
I ❤ Jesus….do you think Kellan will follow me on Twitter?
He’s not “verified” yet, but I still think it’s the real deal. However, I think he’ll probably turn into @annakendrick47 and only tweet once every few weeks. Here’s to hoping he’ll love the attention too much to say no. 🙂
So has anyone tweeted Kellan?
I tweeted him last night, it was wonderful.
Did he reply?!
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, LetterstoTwilight. LetterstoTwilight said: big daddy weeps (taylor is a grown ass man now) and @kellanlutz tweets (we think) http://ht.ly/1E4bz […]