Life after Breaking Dawn- A Contemplation

It’s UC, posting from the past (seriously, I’m drafting this like 2 years in advance) because I’m still on my romantic vacation with my husband having the BEST time of my life drinking the BEST drinks in creation (please don’t rain in Mexico, please don’t rain in Mexico). Today we have a great letter about life AFTER Breaking Dawn. Dream with us (or be horrified), won’t you?

Dear Stephenie,

Have you ever stopped to think about what life will be like a few years or so down the road for everyone with the way you ended Breaking Dawn? If not you should and I think you should consider about writing about it (AFTER you finish and publish Midnight Sun of course).

First you should probably know a couple things about me. I loved Breaking Dawn with all it’s flaws, even the ones that infuriated me (case in point: Edward delaying sex AGAIN after Bella’s a vamp on her first hunt. I yelled at the book/Edward. He finally can have worry free sexy time and he doesn’t take the opportunity? He has been a 17 year old for like 90 years, you KNOW he wants to get some. But no, he stops Bella by mentioning the kid. Seriously!? …but I digress…). Where was I? Oh yes things you should know about me. I’m an idealist and hopeless romantic, so as a result I have a weakness for getting a happy ending (twss). I like details. And another thing is I always want more. My mind constantly wonders, “then what?” I want the story to go on not wanting it to end. So I’ve thought several times since I’d first read Breaking Dawn “what would happen?”

Will the Volturi go after and kill Joham for his experimenting and creating those half-vamps? Will the Volturi stop there, or will they kill Nahuel the guy who saved them all from a bloodbath and his sisters? What will the Cullens do when they find out about it? Will they step in and go ninja on the Volturi’s asses and be the new Volturi family and everyone will live in fear of the Cullen’s wrath instead? Will all vampires for the rest of eternity say “you don’t provoke the Cullens unless you want to die”? Or will the Volturi do a sneak attack on the Cullens and try to take out Renesmee first?

Yes all of these things and much more have run through my mind. But the most nagging questions for me have been surrounding the four most central characters at the end of the story: Edward, Bella, Jacob, Renesmee… and sex. (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, I’m a very sexually minded creature).

Find out what this idealist, sexually-minded creature comes up with for “Life after Breaking Dawn” after the jump!

Renesm--- Wait, Taylor? Is that you?

Anyway.

Think about it the scenario you’ve set up here. EDWARD CAN READ MINDS. Sure through the whole story that’s been it’s own cool thing (I wonder how many times through the last 90 years he had private ‘happy time’ listening to people’s thoughts while going at it. Free porn no one ever knows about! Again, I digress.). But think about a FATHER being able to hear the thoughts of his daughter and of her lover (lets face it , eventually it’ll happen). After a few years, Edward is going to be no longer impressed with Jacob’s thoughts. Or Renesmee’s for that matter. And it’s going to be all kinds of awkwardness. Renesmee is going to start looking all womanly after like three or four years old or something. Jacob is a guy, he’s GOING to notice and think about it.

I can see it now:

Wow Nessie’s looking good. She got stacked last night. Jacob thinks and his thoughts turn very unclean. Edward hearing this hisses at Jacob, picks him up and literally throws him out of the Cullen’s house.

Or what about after Jacob and Renesmee’s first kiss?

Mmmm, who would have known mother and daughters kissed so much alike? Bella did that exact same thing with her tongue as Nessie does… Jacobs thoughts circle.
graphically detailed mental flashes of each kiss flipped back and forth comparing how satisfying both were– Run through Jacob’s mind.
Edward snarls and turns to lunge at Jacob but Bella stops him long enough for Jacob to run out of the house.

Maybe Bella decides to intervene and tries to shield Jacob and Renesmee’s thoughts as often as possible after she’s all adult-looking (even though she’s really only five years old… but that’s okay with Jacob because “age is just a number babe”) to keep sanity but slips during a crucial moment:

Renesmee walks by Jacob with a big satisfied smirk on her face and reaches over to touch Jacob’s face to ‘tell’ him something.
-Vivid, detailed recall of the night before, suggesting they go off to go at it again- Renesmee’s thoughts fill Jacob’s mind as she eyes him suggestively.
Just then Edward, unaware of that, leans in to kiss Bella across the room breaking her concentration on her shield on her wolf friend and daughter.
Holy crap! Jacob thinks panting with lust as the images Renesmee provided swirl with his own dirty, naughty thoughts. Ready as any teenage boy is, jumps at the chance immediately to go off somewhere alone with her.
In the same moment Edward lunges at his throat.
Its about that time that Bella decides either she and Edward, or Renesmee and Jacob need to go off on their own for awhile. Immediately. Before Edward kills Jacob.

I also wondered what Jacob and Renesmee’s coitus would be like. I wasn’t sure if Jacob would get all pissy and frustrated because of her ‘talent.’ Guys can get all defensive about their bedroom skills:

“God Nessie! Do I ever do anything right?” Jacob complains after Renesme tells him through her extra powers she wants him to pin her against a wall. “I kiss you and you want me to use less tongue. Then the next time it’s more tongue. I get on top, and you want me to be on bottom, or I’m on bottom and you tell me you want me to pin you to the wall. I kiss your neck and you want me to bite you. By-the-way I’m really sick and tired of you biting me all the time. It so does not turn me on.”

But then I though, no. Jacob imprinted on Renesme. It’ll all be about her. It will all turn him on and make him hot even they develop a fetish of biting eachother. Or if she asks for really weird shit like to try it while Jacob’s in wolf form. (Ew, I know but some people have some pretty freaky bedroom habits, and I’m just saying it could happen.)

But I thought maybe you’d be able to make the Team Jacob fans happy with some really steamy love scenes between the two of them. I would guess those scenes would be something loosely similar to a steemy, goth version of the bedroom scene in “What Women Want” with Mel Gibson. You know, crank up the heat, add some funiture being wrecked and input a werewolf and half-vampire in the place of the two humans. Just make sure you don’t fade to black so you don’t leave the Team Jacob fans blue-balled… wait I heard you’re one of them so I guess that didn’t need mentioning. (Or does the Team Jacob thing not work with Renesmee? Do the Team Jacob people only want to see him with Bella? Or do you not care, that as long as you get some good hot stuff about Jacob you’re cool?)

Screw Edward. Women want this

And what about Bella and Edward. Bella can push her shield away, she could turn up the heat on their love life by sharing her thoughts with Edward now too… another twist to a goth version of “What Women Want” bedroom scene. And one I really would like to read given I’m a Team Edward gal. Will they finally get a decent sex life? Or will Bella forever be trying to coheresc Edward into sex? Will he always be infuriatingly un-sex-crazed?:

Bella, excitedly retreats to the huge cottage closet with a very large box in her hands.
“I’ll be out in just a second Edward. Trust me it will be worth it…” she calls.
It finally arrived!
she thinks excitedly. Bella slips on one of the black, lacy nighties the box is overflowing with. The exact same one that broke Edward’s willpower on the Island. She’s sure that it will work on him again. She checks herself in the full-length mirror before exiting the closet, proud of herself for getting Alice to buy her an entire case-full of that nighty so when its shred to pieces she’ll have another, and another.
“Oh Edward,” she purrs as she steps out of the closet.
Edward growls.
“Mmmm, yes!” Bella exclaims believing it worked and Edwards growl was one of passion. Just as she goes to lunge at him, Edward yells.
“I’m going to kill him! I am going to hunt him down and kill him this second!!”
Bella stops confused. Did the designer screw up the nightie? She looks down to check.
“Do you know what that dog is doing to our daughter right now?!?!” Edward roars enraged.
Edward storms out of the bedroom. Bella groans and sits on the floor deflated denied sex yet again.

Tell me it won’t be like that! Tell me Edward and Bella will bust up a few houses, thin a few forests, and make the rest of the Cullens ill with their incessent need to get busy. And give me the details you held back in Breaking Dawn so I don’t have to suffice myself with writing my own (I discovered I wrote FF without knowing that’s what I did until I cashed in my FF V-card the other week. I didn’t know what I’d written was what FF was until I read someone elses and realized “wait a second!”. I’d decided if you weren’t going to fill in the details on the island I’d do it myself, I just never shared it like others so graciously have). But maybe I’ll talk about that in another letter…

Anyway I just wanted to give you a few things for you to consider (and avoid) if you do stop to think about their lives years later as Nessie becomes a five-year-old adult. And maybe I gave you some inspiration and we’ll see a book some day called: A Million Moons (or some title having something to do with night or suns or moons) that tells us about the Cullen’s (and wolves) lives a few years down the road.

Love,

JacobEdwardsWife

Thank you Stephenie for giving us material to joke about endlessly for YEARS to come!

Our internet game is ridiculous: LTR, The Forum, Twitter

123 Responses

  1. I feel like this post played ‘just the tip’ with my FF virginity. Like any inexperienced girl I’m not sure how I feel about it.

    • It’s not the letter I’m not sure about – letter is very good and raises some excellent points that I think need further investigation! I’m just not sure how I feel about coming that close to popping my FF cherry!

      • I sincerely apologize if I got too fresh and nearly corrupted your innocence. 😦 I apparently have a faulty FanFic-O-Meter and got too close to the line.

        That wasn’t my intention. Sorry!!!

        • No don’t apologise it’s fine honestly! I loved it! It was so pervy in a good way😉
          Fanfic is a strange and foreign world to me and as such I don’t know what to make of it. I’m currently rereading the Saga for the first time since I originally read it. After that I might try some FF to see what the fuss is about, but I’m gonna ease myself in with some fade-to-black fillers first before I get into all the hard stuff…

          • do it do it do it…. all the cool kids are reading it, you wanna fit in don’t you?😉

            Bike racks, 3:00. Turn in your V card.

    • @shleeeigh
      Just stay close to stories recommend by Angstgoddess003 or any other member of the TLYDF-Mafia and you will be on safe ground😉

  2. Oh my, JacobEdwardsWife… I have to admit i had never thought that one through. Fangirlfail. You are so right. My mental weirdometer just exploded. Edward hearing Nessies sexy thoughts about Jacob… ew. Or better: ewelicious. Ha!

    Great letter! If you ever decide to post fanfic… lemmeknow.

    • ‘Mental weirdometer’ FTW!
      Every twilight fan has one….at least I do..

    • If your Weird-O-Meter exploded with just that, imagine what its like in my head! That’s just a small snippit of what has run through my mind. Its a jungle in here. 🙂

  3. OMG J.E.W that was hilarious! Of course Edward would be his ‘un-sex crazed’ self….no matter how many years pass.

    “or some title having something to do with night or suns or moons”
    Bahahha…you know SM would do that if she releases another twilight book…not a companion like that of that Bree chick…but a completed novel. SHe once said she might write about Leah…

    OH how I hated BD. Even now as I rememeber ‘the muffled rippling noise’ as Bella’s water (or blood, not sure which) broke…I shudder in disgust. Seriously, WTF was Stephenie thinking? And all that build-up for nothing? Nothing but a so-called ‘verbal fight’? And I hated how Edward became a total wuss in BD….

    @Shleeeigh…Midnight_Cyn lost her fanfic virginity a few days ago…it’s time you should too! Go read ‘A Cannabean Betrothal’, ‘The University of Edward Masen’, ‘A Rough Start’, ‘The Tutor’, ‘Cascade and Cyanide’, ‘Healing’ ‘AN INTRODUCTION TO SWIRL AND DAISY’….phew I think I’m done recommending fics now…

    • Thanks. And yeah, I’m sure Edward will always be maddeningly in control of his sexual side much to my frustration.

      See, I loved BD. Even with all the fade-to-black and flaws. What can I say, it gave me a happy ending, and I am a huge sucker for a happy ending no matter how illogical or flawed. I was good with it. But when my mind started to wander down the path of what would happen then, I was vastly entertained thinking through different scenarios, and a tad horrified. (But mostly just entertained)

      • It’s a good thing your mind has this habit of wandering…look how it got us a funny letter?
        I too am a sucker for happy endings. The only thing that prevented me from ripping up my copy was the scene where Bella finally shows Edward her thoughts… I almost teared up when she gets to that part of seeing him for the first time…the part at the meadow..their first kiss…the first time…
        Uggh SM…thank you for turning totally sane, logical people into sappy lovesick prepubescent girls…

        Oh and JacobEdwardsWife…when you say ‘much to my frustration’ you actually mean ‘much to your CHAGRIN’, right? Because we know how SM can’t go over two pages without mentioning that word…*snicker*

        • Oh RSMS, I admit I teared up as well at that part to. I never knew I was such a sparkley eyed romantic till Twilight…damn you for showing me what I’ve been trying surpress

        • Chagrin, yes, yes, chagrin! That’s what I meant! Silly me! 🙂 hahaha

  4. Great letter. It’s amazing to learn how other people minds work. I never think about that, when the book is done is done, and everything for me is fade to black … happy end style, if possible.
    When I think of Twilight saga (and it’s a lot more often that I would like it to be), it’s always about the events that did happen, the decisions people already made, the what if… but never about Life After.

    • See with me my mind always wants to know more. Even with the happiest of endings (which I’d want all stories to have) I’m still always like “well, then what?” and never want the story to end, frustrated even with happy endings becuase I want to know more.

      Any book I like, I always keep thinking about what would happen with the characters after the ending or filling in where the author left open. Always. It just has never brought quite so many questions/ideas/thoughts and never quite to this level of strange-ness…

  5. And I thought I’d brought the smutty about Jacob yesterday….oh Stephanie…what a tangled web you’ve woven for us…

    • lol 🙂

    • Smutty….Jacob? One day away and I miss out!

  6. So can Edward only hear people’s thoughts or can he see their thoughts too? Does he “see” Alice’s visions or is he just hearing her think about them? I’ve been wondering….

    • I don’t know if I’m just making stuff up, but I always thought he could see their thoughts too.

      I remember in Eclipse Edward saying something about Jacob makes “vivid mental pictures.”

      And then reading Midnight Sun, when Edward was listening to Bella and Jessica’s conversation, there was something mentioned about Jessica thinking “look at that blush” commenting about Bella blushing and Edward thinking “I am”

      So I have no idea, but I always took it as he could “hear” both words and images thought by people.

      ???

      • I thought he could hear and see the thoughts as replayed in their minds? Kind of like a pensieve.

        Wow now I am suddenly not so sure either. And a bit confused.

        • Aha! My reread of Twilight is coming in handy. I noticed when I was reading last night that after Edward saves Bella in Port Angeles and Bella asks him how he knew where she was he says something about going to the book store that he saw in Jessica’s mind. I remember it because I remember thinking that I never realised he ‘saw’ things before! I’m pretty sure that’s right but I might have to go back to check later…

          • Hmm, so maybe he can see but not hear?

            Stephenie Meyer, if you are lurking feel free to chime in.

        • Well, he reads minds, so internal thoughs would come across as voices, but if the subject were visualizing something, he’d see the pictures, right? I guess I always figured it depended on the person he was ‘reading’.

      • I thought Edward could both hear and see people’s thoughts. It’s been awhile since I read Twilight but didn’t he describe it to Bella as like being in a room full of people talking and it’s just like background noise but he can hone in on one person if he wants and hear their thoughts. And I thought I remembered in Midnight Sun something about Edward being excited after he dropped Bella off and normally he can watch himself walk away in people’s minds but since he can’t get in Bella’s mind he didn’t know if she was watching him or what she was thinking… I think it’s both. Seeing and hearing thoughts.

        • Right that’s the way I took it. He can do both. Hear and see whichever the person is doing if they are thinking words or images

  7. I found the entire thing hialrious. Great letter writing…and BLAH for FF.

    • One more thought–> Why is Taylor with Renessme or with Taylor, aka, Swiftner, in a field next to an old fashioned UK red telephone booth? Why is there a telephone booth in the middle of a field?

      • haha that’s not actually Taylor Swift. That chick is some singer (whose name I didn’t bother to know) who got Taylor Lautner to star in her music video, before he go all buff for New Moon. Actually that video came out before Twilight so Taylor must have been what…15….

      • I’m wondering if that is the English telephone booth that used to be down near Half Moon Bay (south of San Francisco), that was sort of an ad for an English-style pub there that has since gone out of business? That’s my theory.

        • Alright, I’m going to out myself here…
          I’m from Half Moon Bay! Weird

          • Do you know the phone booth I’m talking about?

          • I most certainly do!

    • Thx – and yeah, I didn’t consider the above blurbs FF at all they were just blurbs. But like I said, my fanfic-o-meter must be broken.

      *shakes fanfic-o-meter*

      yep broken

  8. “but that’s okay with Jacob because “age is just a number babe””
    lol’d

    • Yeah, obvs it’s the age of sexual maturity that counts, not the actual age…especially when dealing with a ‘new’ species. Jacob is always right & has the mind of an angel. Possibly an archangel. He is not paedobear.

  9. I only like books with happy endings (twss?); books that end anything other than happily should have a warning on the cover.

    Unhappy endings SUCK. There’s enough of that in real life for me to want to read about it.

    • I read only happy-ending books too. There is too much of the other kind of book plus RL being sucky at times to read the other stuff. There is an interesting fanfic that deals with post BD Jacob/Renesmee and Edward reading Jacob’s thoughts. It has some slightly horror/sci-fi elements but it’s pretty good.

      http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4847870/1/An_Untitled_Continuation_of_the_Twilight_Saga

      • *claps*

        Yey! I’m not the only one! I’m not the only one! I’m going to have to sneak a peek at that….

      • *claps*

        Yey! I’m not the only one!

        I’m going to have to check that one out….

  10. AWesome letter J.E.W.!!! I only have a smidge of time this AM, but OMG I love you for thinking this through.

    ..and Weird-o-Meter? Bahahaha!

  11. Love the letter Jacobedwardswife! I am in total agreement about the happy endings (twss). I am thinking that Jacob and Rennesseemeeeememe are going to have to hang out on Isle Esme for a few years so Edward can finally get some.

    • Exactly, someone is going to have to go off somewhere because I don’t see how Edward and Jacob are going not going to be able to cohabitate after “things” change with Jacob and Renesmee. It’s just not possible. They will fight and one of them will not walk away and Bella and Renesmee will not be able to forgive whomever killed the other. …Until Jacob and Renesmee get to the point where they get really good about controlling their thoughts around dear-old-dad anyhow.

  12. I am so glad that you wrote this letter, because this whole special gift thing has been bothering me for a long time. Not only can Edward see what his daughter and pedophile are thinking, but Alice can see what they will be doing before they do… which Edward can also see.

    He is just going to walk around for the rest of his life pissed at everyone. Then Jasper with the whole mood control, all the anger and sexual tension. It’s like a bad porno movie.

    Bravo JacobEdwardsWife, I commend you for pointing out all the faults. SM clearly didn’t think all this through; we LTT-ers are a crafty bunch.

    • LMAO: “Its like a bad porno movie’.

      Imma a nerd and have to point out that Alice can’t see Renesmee or Jacob’s furture plans. She’s not able to see the wolf pack and I believe Renesme gave her issues when she was in the womb.

      So it would really be Edward’s problem.

      • I bow down to your estute observation skill… well played

  13. NICE letter JacobEdwardswife! You summarized some ideas very nicely. First of all, the plots you described in the beginning sound perfect – Stephenie please take note and write that (those) sequel book(s) for us. Now. Secondly, when Renesmee gets older that’s going to be all kinds of awkward for everyone in the house. I’m fairly certain that Jacob and Edward will have to be separated. A lot. Until Jacob can control himself.

    As for your Team Jacob question, I can’t say that all of my Team Jacobness will work the same with Renesmee. I was just glad Jacob got his happy ending.

    Because I too like a nice happy ending!

    • I would love if SM wrote down some of those plots and know that people evermore say “you don’t provoke the Cullens unless you want to die…” …but I don’t know how she’d be able to do that and get around the Bella, Edward, Jacob, Renesmee thing… and I don’t know if SM would want to maneuver through that particular touchy subject.

  14. I’m soooo glad I’m not the only one who went there! I also thought about the whole enrolling in high school ploy. Edward has to “listen” to all those high school pervs lust after his 5 year old daughter. Because she isn’t full-on vamp and wouldn’t wig the humans as much as Bella. And then there’s Nessie herself. Teenaged girls always think they’re ready for things they are completely emotionally unprepared for…she’d have to argue with Jacob and Edward that she’s full-grown… Damn, sucked in again. Great letter, but Ireally have to work today!! Argh! Think profit index…

    • hahaha! So funny! Edward, Bella, Jacob & Nessie all going to high school together! WIN! OMG! Edward would have to deal w/ all the horned up teenagers lusting after both his wife and his daughter! baahahaha!

      WIN!

  15. “Mmmm, who would have known mother and daughters kissed so much alike? Bella did that exact same thing with her tongue as Nessie does…”

    Upon reading this part, the next line that came to my mind was, “Dear Penthouse Forum… I never thought it’d happen to me, but…”

    • HOLY SHIT! I thought I was the only girl gross enough to throw out the ” Dear Penthouse ” line……LOVE IT!

    • lmao! Love it!

  16. I like the way you think, JacobEdwardsWife!

    I thought about this too. Since Nessie is the”perfect” child, I think once she “grows up” she’ll have to rebel against her intrusive father and aunt. I think, after papa runs Jacob off of the Cullen land for good, Renesmee runs off to Italy to seek answers from the Volturi on how to dissable dad’s mind reading and Auntie Alice’s clairvoyence. The Volturi are old and lazy so they can’t help her, so, frustrated, she and Jane start a rock band. They go on tour, with Aro as their manager. Aro meets former vamapire-turned-rockstar Lestat and they form a new show called “Vampire Idol”… but you don’t get voted off, you get eaten.

    • SWD, you only started reading fanfic a few days ago, and look at you already, coming up with a complete fanfic-viable plot line! Vampire Idol! You go, girl.

      • T.O.O.- Hee hee hee, see,you created a monster.
        I’m unable to write fanfic because I can’t write “quivering member” or “erect manhood” with a straight face.

        • Actually I think that qualifies you as the perfect fanfic writer.
          BTW- Will Mike Newton be auditioning with his bum-wiggle dance?

        • “quivering member” and “erect manhood” should never be written with a straight face, but rather a face in the shape of an “O” for proper placement.

          *I apologize in advance for being such a dirty, naughty perv, but this was what enters my mind when you say these things!

          • LOL – don’t apologize, I’m just glad I’m not the only dirty, naughty minded soul ’round here. 😉

    • NICE!!

      I love it!!!

      Should Renesmee’s band be named “Half-breed”??

  17. JacobEdwardsWife, great letter! Stephenie Meyer has infiltrated my mind to the extent that if I ever see a book title with the words “sun” or “moon” or any other meteorological phenomena, I think of Twilight. “A Thousand Suns” would have been a great post-BD title, but alas, it was already taken, and probably is a very serious, well-written book. Boo.

    • haha I’m so with you there. SMeyer has taken over my mind too when it comes to the celestial bodies like sun, moon, etc. Also words like “eternity” or “chagrin” all belong to her. Speaking of which have you noticed how many (non-Twilight saga) things have “twilight” in their names/title/etc. nowadays? Other people are cashing in on her takeover of our minds.

      • Or do we notice it more? Like when you learn a new word it’s suddenly everywhere. Hmmm

      • Vanilla Twilight by Owl City..I can’t even write that song name as my facebook status because I’m scared people might accuse me of being a twilight fan *gasp*

    • I think we just notice it more. Kind of lie when you get a new car suddenly you see that car everywhere… Ya know?

  18. Dear JEW,

    I’m so happy that Renesmee and Jacob ran away to Engerland. Or is that the Doctor’s new TARDIS?

    I’ve also read some LTTer’s fanfic that rocks the Edward mind reading.

    I always wondered/hoped that the Romanians would return to power. They were so much fun! Plus the province they’re from has such a sexy noir essence.

    And I wonder if Leah and Nehual (?) will imprint… crap, he’s venomous isn’t he. Just kidding.

    • You are scaring me, TeamSeth, making my mind think about Dr. Who and Twilight crossovers. No, please, make it stop!

      • It’s sad, I know. I’ve become thoroughly obsessed with the show (and Tennant). Last night even I had an hour long convo with my mom about the different doctors takes on the character as well as the companions’ contributions to him. I have no one else in RL to talk to about these things. Apparently though I can holla at Sj for some Time Lord talk.🙂

        • The Twi actors could learn how to really rock a scarf from Tom Baker.

    • Jacob & Renesswhatever in the Tardis – mwah! Perfect. They can bring back some daleks for the Romanians to kick butt with – seeing as Stupidname will be rebellious teenager etc etc.

      • ❤ x 1,000,000

        I wonder, would the Cybermen be colder and harder than vampires?

  19. JEW…
    Great letter! I gotta admit
    Imma “then what ” kinda gal myself…
    Probably that’s why SM stopped where she did…
    She didn’t wanna go into sex scenes w/a 7yr vam && a fully grown wolf
    With a much bigger (but not sparkley) peen… #ifyouknowwhati’msayin

    What kinda child would they have?
    Wolvampan?
    (Wold,vamp,&human??)

    • Comment fail…
      Its wolf* not wold :]

  20. *knock knock* Umm, Dr Freud….Can I ask a few questions on a ‘challenging’ topic? Actually it’s about vamp/werewolf sexuality in the otherwise all-American household. What? You’re down with that, excellent!

    So, when a werewolf & vamp/human have boy babies will said babies turn all teenage angsty wolfy on half vamp mamma and have natural desire to rip her apart, because I’m thinking that will cause some tension and according to your theories I’m not sure where that leaves wolf pappa/wolf son relationship which could just be too much ‘ewwwwwwwww’ even for the most salacious FF fan.

    And then what do granma & gramps do? I’m thinking BIG guilt trip since the whole situation is really their fault to start with, I mean seriously, how much time not having sex did they have to think about the pregnancy possibility?!

    Erm, Dr Freud, you still with me? What? No I don’t have FF links on me right now…

    • PS. Dr F. got back to me and concluded that :

      1.SM clearly did not think this through.

      2. It would be best if Jacob/Renessmae take an extended coming of age backpacking trip mainly through very sunny regions.

      3. Any baby boy wolves get sent away to school as soon as they hit puberty (which is probably the best place for teenage boys anyway).

      4. Edward should channel his talent and raw material into becoming the best FF writer ever.

      • How do you and Dr. Freud communicate? I’d really like to try my hand at it if possible.

        • Um, you know all those ‘voices’ that float around the air….mmm, yeah..

    • Eh, who doesn’t want to rip apart their mother when they’re a teenager?😉

      Do the wolves really have an innate desire to kill the vamps? You would think you’d want to be far away from something so stinky. I didn’t think the wolves had the urge to kill the vamps unless they violated the treaty. More of a “do not fire unless fired upon” stance.
      Victoria & Laurent were killing people on their land, right? At least Jacob did say they waited to fight Laurent until it was abundantly clear that he was going to kill Bella in the meadow if they didn’t step in.

      • We need a lawyer commenter please!!!!

    • LOL – Grandpa Edward and Grandma Bella…. hahaha

      Though I did wonder if it would be possible for Renesmee to have babies…. I wonder if maybe she could before she is done aging….. you know when she’s looking like a teenager before she looks like twenty or something… there’s like this 6 month window of opportunity that Jacob will have to man up… doggie up? Was that too much? Did I just go too far again?

      • What! He only gets six months of it?!

        • 6 mo to try for a baby / puppies / offspring – eternity for sexy time. 😉

          don’t worry, its just one theory. 🙂

  21. Hooray!!!!!!!! Awesome letter! All things I think about on an embarrassingly regular basis. And for me, I don’t care which girl it is – as long as Jacob is involved, I’m all for it!

    • LOL – I wasn’t sure if the Team Jacob girls would be purists and only want him with Bella and anything else would just not do. Good to know that it’s all good as long as Jacob’s involved. 🙂

  22. Lovely letter! Usually I like stories that are left open ended or not tied up in a bow for this very reason – I like to imagine what might happen after the story ends. Particularly with movies. However, I can honestly say that I LOVE the happy ending of Breaking Dawn. I LOVE when Bella shows Edward her memories and he’s so excited to share this with her. So sweet! But that doesn’t mean I’m not interested in this “Life After” book. Just finish MS first, ok SM?

    • Yeah, I do that for movies too. Any good story, I let my mind drift and wander and try to think about what would come next for the main characters because although I want (need) and LOVE a happy ending, it seems to make me want to know more even worse. lol

  23. I thought Reneseme was supposed to stop growing once she reached the height of a 6ish year old? So she would never really be “grown up looking”. Bella thinks briefly on this in BD but thinks something like, “Oh well Jacob’s not interested in that just now so we’ll have to deal with it as it comes” & how she feels sorry that he’ll never have a normal relationship with her.

    & you know one think I really wish SM would have left out of BD….the part where it’s narrated by Jacob while Bella’s giving birth how he always wondered what it would be like to see Bella naked but now he’s not too interested…I really would have liked to think Jacob would not be thinking things like that at all & would just be concerned for her general well-being. Not about sexual thoughts while she’s all bloodied up & half dead. Pft. I was always kinda iffy of whether I was team jacob/edward through out the first 3 books but after that I was just like “GAHHH viva la team edward!!!”

    • No, by the time renesmee is (about) years old six, she’ll have reached full maturity and then stay like that forever

      • Well UC was saying that she’ll be full grown in a couple years or w/e but in a couple years she will stop growing so she’ll never physically mature more than a 6 year old.

  24. Ah-mazing letter!!!

    All that talk of Edward growling and lunging and fighting is just way too sexy. Steph HAD to know that when she wrote him… And I’m glad your scenarios included it.

    • I know! Hawt!

  25. Okay, I know I’m getting notorious for commenting off topic (SORRY!) but this is in my local paper’s birth announcements today and I have to share:

    Twins, Kristen Rose (daughter) and Cullen James (son) xxxxxxx, were born Friday, April 23, 2010, …

    • That is hilarious! I’ve noticed on an at&t commercial recently that the name on the phone is Kristen Cullen. Coincidence? Maybe. Naming your kids Kristen Rose and Cullen James. Totes on purpose!

    • Oh dear god…

    • My coworker just had a baby & named him Charlie Edward. Total coincidence though. Her husband’s grandfather’s name was Charles & his uncle was named Edward. But come on….come onnnnn. She’s a total closet twi-hard & I know she only agreed to naming him that because of the series.

      • Guess I shouldn’t be that judgmental as I decided to name my future daughter “Melanie” after reading the host ^^

  26. To continue the off-topic conversation, I’ve always been set on 2 (sort of 3) girls’ names (if I ever have a daughter), and the one is Isabella/Isabelle. I chose it many, many years ago.

    If I do ever have a girl, not sure what I’ll do. I’m sure my friends who are in-the-know about my Twilight-lust won’t believe my argument, but it’s true, I swear it!! Hmmm…

    • If you go with Isabelle over Isabella then you’re not using her exact name…

    • But you have to think of what her nickname would be. If you choose Isabelle then it totally will be Bell & who wants to be called Bell? I would much reather be referred to as Bella : )

    • Belle is pretty. It’s from Beauty and the Beast.
      Or you could go with Izzy (like Grey’s Anatomy).

      • Ooo! Izzy! I like that

    • Or you could go with Bells.😉

      • ^ Charlie style : )

      • or “Beller” Rob style

        • I don’t recall him ever calling her “Beller” wtf.

          • It’s the linguistic ‘r’ that is pronounced between two words in which the first ends in a vowel and the second begins in a vowel. Primarily found in spoken British English, but according to LTTers it goes down in the Northeast US as well (from the comments it sounded primarily like New Yorkers do it).

            So, when Aro (Welsh Sheen) rocks out the “Bella is alive after all. Isn’t that wonderful!” in his creeptastic voice, the “a” in Bella comes before the “i” in is and becomes Beller. Similarily Rob does it in his interviews.

            (sorry, I’m a partial linguistics nerd; I think there’s a term for this ‘r’ but I can’t remember it. Will research tonight.)

        • Aro too!

          • Was watching NM last night (loser), again, and when Aro said “Beller” I totally cracked up! This place has definitely made pre-LTT non-funny moments in the movies and books VERY funny now.

          • I don’t know how I could have missed this the first 3 times but I def need to watch NM again!

          • “Beller is alive after all!”

            Ah, I love movie Aro.

      • Or Honey, Jacob style. No, please don’t do that.

  27. JEW… Great letter!
    I gotta admit Imma “then what ” kinda gal myself…
    Probably that’s why SM stopped where she did…
    She didn’t wanna go into sex scenes w/a 7yr vam
    && a fully grown wolf
    With a much bigger (but not sparkley) peen…
    #ifyouknowwhati’msayin

    What kinda child would they have?
    Wolvampan?
    (Wolf,vamp,&human??)

    • & would it be conceived “doggy style”?

      Would she have pups?

      We need answers.

      • ^ win

      • Lmao… we must think alike! That’s what I was gonna put, but I stopped myself :]

      • Lmao! I think that might be a distinct possibility! Too funny

    • ” Wolvampan” LMFAO!!!!! Kinda like Turduken…..

  28. […] LettersToTwilight […]

  29. […] Life after Breaking Dawn- A Contemplation It’s UC, posting from the past (seriously, I’m drafting this like 2 years in advance) because I’m […] […]

  30. So has anyone read this fanfic? It covers a heap of the stuff talked about in this letter… kinda cheesy but kinda good if you, like me, just want to keep seeing where Twilight things go….

    http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4847870/1/An_Untitled_Continuation_of_the_Twilight_Saga

  31. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by LetterstoTwilight, Twilight In Polish and Nermina Tursunovic, WB. WB said: dont wanna think about it! RT @letter2twilight Life after Breaking Dawn… What is it like? Come Contemplate with us: http://wp.me/pogYm-2lS […]

  32. hey good point, but can’t edward block it like he does with jessica’s thoughts in midnightsun..??

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