Appreciation for the supporting cast

We love the Twilight supporting cast- we really do. From Butcrack Santa to Tequila Tomas, and Big Daddy Lautner to Michael Oregano we can’t get enough of them. Even if they were killed off in the first movie, don’t really exist or aren’t really ‘cast’ members- they are in our hearts. We’re not alone in our love for the smaller parts of the Twilight cast:
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Dear Twilight,
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I would like to express my appreciation for your supporting characters who don’t get as much time in the limelight as the main cast:

Thank you for staring at me, my young friends...

Aro– Thanks for being a traditional vamp. You’re an intriguingly odd blend of hand wringing, “My Precious” coveting, Golum mixed with Paul Reubens from the Buffy movie. Your cat-playing-with-a-mouse demeanor just kills. I may have even dabbled a little in Team Aro on occasion (just briefly and ’cause I’m old). But alas, Aro, I don’t think you’d be on my team, ifyouknowwhatimsayin.


Jane’s Eyebrows- Above that fabulous smokey eye is a well groomed, but very prominently wide eyebrow. It’s comforting. It takes me back to my early childhood in the 80’s where eyebrows were encouraged to run wild. It was a simplier time for eyebrows, back then. Brooke Shield’s -before-she-was-peddling-Latisse caterpillers were “the Rachel” of the eyebrow world. True, we have Rob’s free range eyebrows, but they are an entity all to themselves. Jane’s eyebrows are a waxed, 2nd cousin to Robs. If Rob is Team Eyebrow’s pitcher, Jane is the teams first baseman.
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Anna Kendricks Boobs– Seriously, you could bake cookies on that rack and everyone appreciates a good boob. Daily, I am awash in a sea of clevage (Snow, are you a stripper? No. Are you a mammogram tech? No… I just live in the OC) and all I can say is Nice Tits. Go Team Boobs!
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Carlisle’s Scarf Collection– Carlisle, I’m jealous and I admire your appreciation of neckware. You’ve seen centuries of neckcessories come and go, from Ruffs, to Cravats, to Ascots, to Neckties, and now scarves. I bet you have some cashmere beauties tucked away. Caius likes scarves too. Were you two, like, scarf buddies back in the day? Team Scarf? (OK I just pictured the opening scarf scene from “Basic Instinct” and now I’m a little creeped out). Anyway, I’d love any of your cast offs. Mmmmm I bet they smell delicious.
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Jacob’s Teary Wolf Eye– Oh how you made me howl with sadness and oh how I was Team Jacobed in that moment. The “Academy” should give a nod to The Eye. The Eye made me feel. The Eye can ACT. (OK, maybe I’m projecting here because my dog gives me the same sad eye, hang head, dejectedly skulks out of the room whenever he catches me putting on non-dog walking shoes. Guilt is powerful). Oh Sad Wolf Eye, how you break my heart.
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Ashley Greene’s Painted on Bikini Pictures– Many of us have that pesky 15 5 pounds to lose. I lost 4 lbs. following the What Would Ashley Eat diet. On “What Would Ashley Eat”, or W.W.A.E. for short, One simply asks herself when, say, choosing a salad dressing, would Ashley pick Bleu Cheese? HALE No. She’d probably use lemon juice and salt &pepper. Lemon is a great diet aide. You don’t get those fierce hollow cheeks without suckin some sour. For that 9 PM snack, when dinner just wasn’t quite enough, instead of reaching for crackers (would Ashley? No), grab some almonds and a big glass of tequilla organic fat free milk. I’m thinkin there is another component to this diet, like What Would Ashley Throw-up, but I’m not going to go there.
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Appreciating the supporting cast like a good bra,
snowwhitedrifted


Don’t forget Angela’s camera! And what about that kid who almost kills Bella with his car? And MRS. Cope! Poor flustered by 17-year-old Edward-Cullen, Mrs. Cope! What secondary “Characters” do YOU love!?

Our internet game is still ridiculous: The Forum, LTR, Twitter

142 Responses

  1. Creepy motorcycle guy. He’s dreamy.

    • Isn’t he David Slade? He looks like him, but as he was on a bike I couldn’t check out his height…ooh, pot, kettle, black…

      • If it had been Sladey, they would have had to use a mini-bike.

        • Zing!

    • I kinda think he’s hot…

    • Always thought he look alot like Peter Apelgren

  2. And don’t forget the frat boys! Especially the one that has a line… how does it go again… errrr… okay.

    • Something like, “That was a very dangerous maneuver” Tell you what, when I’m drunk on vitamin R, I can always say the word “maneuver”

    • “where you running to?!”

  3. Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, the sad wolf eye! Wipes tear. It is actually Taytay’s eye, scanned in & used….twinerd alert! I wonder what he had to think of to look so sad – it’s not like that boy (sorry, man) has a lot to be sad about…

    • OH the sad eye…gets me EVERYTIME!! Love Love Love how they did that! I especially skip a heartbeat at the end of NM when “the eye” reflects Bella before Jacob runs off..Bella gets an Oscar from me for really looking (or actually ACTING) so sad..I feel her pain….

      My apologies not enough coffee yet!

  4. I appreciate the waitress from the diner (Cara?)
    She seemed like a nice woman. Very welcoming to Bella, even remembered what her favorite dessert was. And then she was so sad to hear about Buttcrack Santa.
    The range of emotions she showed . . . just fabulous!

    • I appreciate her also! Not only does she really seem to miss BCS but she wears a purple shirt so she knows how to be cool!

    • Isn’t it Cora? Oh, why do I know that…

      • Twi-nerd of the day!🙂

      • Yay Cora! She’s from Portland! (the actress, not Cora, she’s from Forks, obv)

        • 🙂

    • Yeah, and she gets to serve a salad to Stephenie Meyer herself–“Here ya go, Stephenie.”

      • “here’s your veggie burger stephenie”😉
        oh i should be ashamed.

        • I think it is hilarious that SM “requested” that they NOT show her computer screen so that no one would see what she is writing..hello..they are making a movie..could you not just have put up a picture of Twilight and chillaxed??

        • isn’t it a veggie plate?

    • I did not appreciate her hair. It was fugly.

      • Wait, are we talking about the nice waitress at the diner or the other one serving the ravioli? Cuz I was talking about ravioli girl, obvs.

        • The nice waitress at the diner. I forgot about the ravioli waitress.
          What was up with her hair. In the book she’s supposed to be really hot and flirting with Edward and Bella gets all insecure until she sees that Edward is totally blowing off the waitress ’cause he only has eyes for Bella and that’s why we love him…..

          Anyway, yeah, that waitress in the movie was NOT hot!

          • Yes! Thankyou! That was my first thought as soon as she came on screen: “Hey, she’s not hot! Details Catherine, details!”

            She might not have been so bad except for that godawful hair. Gah, even thinking about that hair makes me go “eww.”

          • She were Kristens stunt-double, so guess they had to mess around alot with her looks so she didn’t look like Kristen lol…

  5. I’ve always been a fan of The Boys from the diner. You know, that table of creepy old men that turn and give Charlie the stink eye after BC dies? Love ’em.

    • Yup me too…but it bugs me that I can’t hear (and I have really tried..trust) what they are saying?

      Morning JodieO..hope your having a fantastic day!

      • hahaha! I love you. I’m going to listen again too… next week when my bf is out of town and can’t make fun of me. I’ll let you know if anything becomes clearer. They’re probably just “background talking”… “elephant” and “watermelon” are popular options.

        • Thanks TS..I feel so much better knowing “your on the case” now of the unkown backround talking!! YEAH!!! Love it!!
          Hey while your at it…can you try and find out what Edward was supposed to say in the meadow when there is no sound but his mouth is moving..better yet what Bella was scripted to say in the hospital scene but couldn’t…..(trying to keep you busy so you won’t miss the BF too much)❤!
          Then we can call you TSS (TeamSethSleuth)!
          P.S. Where is your blog located? Would love to read what you've been up to!

          • It’s a long time no update. But I’ll get it all to you in the email that never made it to you.

  6. Oh how I love the cheesy Mike Newton voices. They are an ensemble cast cast all their own. “She’s ALIVE!” ” Where for art thou Bella?” And even “Get some pwo-tein in there.” They are a cast that always hits their mark, even if I wish that mark would be far stage left or maybe in front of a bus.

    • Can we include Mike’s dancing butt outside the diner window, too, as an honorary member?

      • I think that should totally be a cast member. That and Jacob’s wig. That wig could get it’s own movie.

        • Horror movie? FrightWig Part 1…

  7. ” Appreciating the supporting cast like a good bra” LMAO I miss that bag of fish fry from Billy Black

    • I don’t think they actually ate that fish fry…I am more inclined to believe Bellq polished her truck with it!

      • LMAO!!!!

  8. I’m a fan of those guys with cowboy hats and guitars who are walking into the posh hotel that Bella, Jasper and Alice stay at in Phoenix. For some reason, I snicker every time I see them. I think they need back story.

    • I’ve never noticed them. Now you given me another excuse to watch Twilight again. Thanks!!!🙂

      • Yes!! Mission accomplished! They just seem so out of place…

        • IKR! In the commentary Cougwicke is all “They just showed up that day and we said, ‘Why not'”

          • Hmm. There was just a little too much of the “Why not!” style of directing in Twilight, but then again, if Cougwicke had more restraint, we wouldn’t be having so much fun on LTT!

          • @TheOldOne, I completely agree..we should really appreciate the Cougar…afterall, she gave us LTT, each other and so much material to work with..I bow to the cougar for these gifts!

          • Haha! I forgot that was in the commentary!!

    • I do too!!!! Just love a guy with a guitar

      • Sigh… I do too. I do too.

    • I’m pretty sure now that Steph has finished the Bree story she’s moving on the back story about the guitar toting guys.

      • Yes!!! Now, that I would definitely read. I always thought they played some sort of unknown role in the movie. Like, they helped Bella create a diversion to get away from Alice and Jasper by playing a bad rendition of Hotel California or something. Clearly, I’ve thought about this way too much.

      • @Ang..Good Morning (it is still morning isn’t it?)
        Anyway, I agree about the cowboys..I think (hope) they read LTT and decide to form a band and tour with 100 Monkeys!🙂

        • @MidCyn – touring with 100 Monkeys! FTW I can’t wait to see/hear that.

        • WIN!

    • who knows?? those guys could’ve been the Brit Pack!

  9. I snorted (yes, that’s ladylike) at the Teary Wolf Eye. OMG. Classic.

    I’m voting for Bella’s Comforter. Come on! That thing rocks the house. “Purple’s cool”. It gets front row seats for “i just wanna try one thing…” WIN WIN WIN! Definitely should get a “nod”…

    • And like the rest of us, you bet the comforter too was holding it’s breath when Rob leaned in to “try one thing”….Kudos to you for mentioning the purple comforter because purple’s cool!

  10. Dear snowwhitedrifted,

    I heart you and this letter a whole lot. That is all.

    Love,
    Me

  11. Mad props to Angela!
    ‘Cause she’s sweet.
    …And there’s a lot of work that goes into being Eric Yorkie’s beard.

  12. What about Phil? “I love you guys, now let’s go!” Plus he texted Renee to find out how Bella was doing after she was almost killed.

    Stepdad of the year?

    • @ toooldforthis
      And don’t forget…. “Phil’s great”

    • Oh yes, the mysterious Phil Dwyer. He needs more back story, too. Think he’ll have another great one-liner in Eclipse?

      • Ohhh crap. I sense another Novella. The inner workings of a wanna-be major leaguer, Phil Dwyer.

        • Fantastic idea. I hope it extends past Bella’s transformation.

          Phil: Uh, Renee? Didn’t you, you know, used to have a daughter?
          Renee: Huh?
          Phil: I think her name was Bella…
          Renee: Oh, who knows? I’m so scatter-brained!
          [laugh track]

          Of course, the laugh track would be for the TV spinoff.

          • Haha😀

          • @Borgen, wait is your name as in “Borgen and Burkes”?!

          • @TeamSeth
            Big fan of HP aswell, but no, that have nothing to do with it😛

    • Yup definitely stepdad of the year. He TEXTED Renee! Of course he’s a concerned parent.
      Glad you mentioned Phil. I always thought he was an integral part of the whole saga. I mean, imagine if he wasn’t a baseball player who moved around a lot, or if Renee hadn’t married him, then Bella would have never moved to Forks and would have never met Edward!

      • Have to disagree with Phil as a great Step-Dad, no wait keep that title and give him the bad younger husband award..why? he should have let Renee borrow his cell phone when she “lost” hers and had to use a pay phone to talk to Bella, he makes Renee hold his jacket while he practices and he allows Renee to look disheveled instead of being honest with her by telling her to brush her hair, put on some makeup…me thinks he likes to always look better than her..???

    • @toooldforthis: Did you change your avatar?? Confusing me..lol

      • Nope. It’s the same generic one I’ve always had🙂

        • Ok it just be my brain..having not seen it for so long alot of ppl’s avi’s look different to me…sorry!

  13. Let us not forget Bella’s truck. Still runs great even after a minivan hits it… awkwardly.
    “Hey, Don’t be hatin the truck”

    • Yes! One of my favorite scenes in Twilight is when Edward gets rid of the dent.

      • LoL” I’ve got neighbors”

        • Who then promptly walk by in the background.

          • LOL – cue neighbours!

  14. i’ve always been on Team Mr.-What’s-His-Face-The-One-Who-Made-Edward-Recite-Lines-From-Romeo-And-Juliet.

    “eyes on the screen, people!” –> best moment in twi cinema ever. ever.

    • Mr. Berty

      He’s possibly the most realistic teacher in movie history

  15. Great letter snowwhitedrifted. As for secondary characters, how about that guy Jared? Wasn’t he cute? I loved his expression when he’s like ” C’mon Bella. We won’t bite.” I thought that was kinda funny. (Or was that Embry who said that?)
    Harry Clearwater and his fish fry! How can you guys forget that! And remember his kung-fu is strong..
    Also needs to be mentioned the creepy motorcycle dude from Port Angeles. I don’t know about you guys but I thought he was a pretty decent guy and didn’t do anything inappropriate considering the fact that a stupid 17yr old girl just hopped on his back for a ride. He must have been a generous soul!

    • Or he could have groped Bella during those few minutes that didn’t make it in the final movie. Or taped her convo with invisible vampire boyfriend and put it on youtube. The possibilities are endless…

      • Oh maybe he WAS groping her, that’s why she finally asked him to stop. Maybe Edward’s vision had nothing to do with it…oh the things we can come up with…

        • I think he smelled bad and Bella couldn’t take it especially after being intoxicated by Edwards scent… le sigh!

    • Wait, isn’t she 18 [plus she left a note]? “I’ll be whoever you want me to be, babe.”

  16. Dear Charlie’s Copstache,

    Without you, Charlie would have looked like a regular cop.
    Its because of you he landed chief.
    He owes you his life!
    Plus he gets to drive the wicked cruiser everyday …

    I wish I could lay on the fine upper lip
    And smell Charlie’s hot nose breath(?)

    Full of rage & jealousy,
    KinkyKiss

    • FTW!! How could I forget the Copstache?? I wouldn’t have gone to see New Moon in the theater were it not for the promise of the Copstache. Only borderline kidding.

  17. Marcus’ slippers! They crack me up every time!

    • I know!!!!!!! WHERE ARE HIS SOCKS?!?!?!??!?!?

  18. How about that random girl who is some kind of almost-relation to Cathi Cougar? I’m having a #fanfail moment because I can’t remember her name but Cathi made sure to point her out in her director’s guide book.

    She’s sitting next to Bella in the La Push/Twizzler/van scene in Twilight and she randomly pops up throughout the film.

    Ooooh – how about Twizzlers in the first film?

    Or the garden burger? Especially said in Rob’s garbled voice in the commetary

    • Wait, is that girl the same one who laughs when Tyler says “Nice ride” when Beller pulls up on her first day of school?

      • Ooh is it the mysterious Lauren Mallory?

  19. Snowwhitedrifted: GREAT LETTER!!!
    “Brooke Shield’s -before-she-was-peddling-Latisse caterpillers” spit out my much needed coffee with this one!!! I bet the many years of bearing the weight of her eybrows damaged her eyelids thus leading to the loss of the eyelashes! Or maybe her eyebrows reached down and ate her eyelashes one at time???
    Much thanks also for the pic of Ashley Greene’s “bathing suit”..I no longer feel so bad about my 1 1/2 boobs headed south! Don’t get me wrong I am glad that there are still actresses out there that have NOT gotten their “girls” surgically uplifted and enlarged, but I don’t think painting on a bathing was a good move for you…or anyone for that matter!
    Confession: Aro scares the crap out of me..everytime I would see him in New Moon I covered my head w/ blanket Eddie…truth
    Jane confuses me (don’t say it ladies) on one hand they make her look like an old fashioned school girl but then trash her with the hideous makeup…more balance needed IMO…
    Dr. Cullen: My hero..I know you could fix my brain and you can operate on me anytime…imma just sayin…but I don’t like your scarves..sorry….they just don’t work for me and for some reason I get distracted by them when trying to pay attention to you…BTW Imma gonna write you a letter cause as my hero, I have to say I am having some issues with you and we NEED to talk…
    Again, thanks SWD…awesome as always!

  20. Hey, first I want to say that LTT/LTR makes me LOL like it’s 1991 and I’m watching a young Jim Carrey on “In Living Color.”

    But, dude, imma be serious here for a moment: as someone with an eating disorder, making jokes about Ashley being bulimic (a fake-bulimic, a la fake-lesbian, but still) isn’t right.

    I hope I haven’t cost myself the dreaded thumbs-down, but I’m just keepin’ it real.

  21. Stephanie Meyers cameo?? I wish she had popped up somewhere in MN….maybe coming out of the bar “One Eyed Pete’s” (now my favorite name b/c of obvious reasons) stumbling and mumbling how perhaps she shouldn’t have written Breaking Dawn under the influence of cheap alcohol?
    A quick glimpse of her in all red at the festival in Italy?
    One of the people about to become dinner for the Volturi?

    • Oh, I love the way you think, Midnight Cyn! So many possibilities! Why didn’t they do this in NM? Alfred Hitchcock did this in most of his movies, why not Stephenie?

    • The bar was called “One Eyed Pete’s”? Hahaha.
      Oh that is awesome.

  22. I heart Angela….and capes, still.

    • I am so intrigued by the Janetrigs cape backstory.

  23. I kinda miss Lee Stevens from bio. Actually, I just miss that blodd-typing scene (pretty much his only mention) in the book, but squeamish boys are such a fun target. I loved that scene and really wanted to see it in the Twilight movie, although that’s probably due to Midnight Sun.
    What’s that? No, I don’t have the book in front of me. Yes, I remembered the name. Twi-nerd award? Never heard of it.

  24. SnowWhiteDrifted, excellent post!
    Totally agree with your assessment of Aro’s … persuasion.
    And Jane and her smokey eyes–do you see the Volturi purchasing Maybelline Ultra-Lash down at the Volterra Pay-N-Save? Where do they get their eye makeup products, or when they’re turned, do vamp girls just get the whole makeover look without trying?
    Anna Kendrick’s cookie-baking rack: One of the very few features of the movie that guys can relate to.
    Carlisle’s scarf: Who wears scarves to play baseball? Or is it an ultra-posh sweat rag? Oh, right, vampires don’t sweat.
    And Ashley–the first time I saw those pics, I was like, that bikini top needs more support. Oh, wait, that’s not a top, is it? That’s HER. OMG!

    • Volterra Pay-N-Save!! LOL

      It’s Borghese, they’re in Italy of course.

      Hmmm, if it’s permanent “changed into vamp” make up, that would suck, like tattooed makeup. Styles change. What if you were changed mid-eighties? Would you get frosted lips and electric blue eyeliner?

      • Inquiring minds want to know!

  25. OMG “scar buddies”! I LOLed!

  26. How about the Missing In Action log of driftwood that was supposed to be Bella and Jacob’s log, for crying out loud! What happened to that, huh, MeLISSa (Rosenberg, to be prounounced like AmanDUH)??????????? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure it was nowhere to be seen in New Moon.

    And what about all the meals that Bella cooked Charlie in all the books? Where did they go? Now he is off gallavanting with steak and cobbler (on thursdays) at the diner all of a sudden! I have major problems with the fact that all of the Bella cooking for Charlie moments disappeared from the movies – that was key father-daughter bonding time. All I know is they better have the spaghetti noodle lump scene in Eclipse….oh and the tent scene – duh.

    Last one – how about the guy at the Port Angeles bookstore who sold Bella her book that she was too dumb to just look at online or order off Amazon? What was that store called – the Willow and Whale or something? anyway, that guy was hot and I think he was on to Bella’s research…AND he was one of ther camera guys in the movie!

    • The spaghetti lump scene is as pivotal as the tent scene in Eclipse, IMO. Glad you reminded me!

      • Serious.

      • WITH Charlie microwaving the jar with the lid on…and maybe, just maybe, Summit will give audiences what they have been craving and the kitchen will finally have yellow cabinets, but I’m not holding my breath…

    • “anyway, that guy was hot and I think he was on to Bella’s research…AND he was one of ther camera guys in the movie!”

      Really, he was a camera guy?! Wow, is he onto your research?😉

      • HA! Well I’m not out pounding the pavement with the other detectives – that bit of info was on the commentary on the Twilight dvd! I wish I could claim I was that devoted as to research every single person involved as opposed to jsut the shirtless ones…

  27. Heart you Snowwhitedrfted! You give good letter!

    What about the Peach Cobbler at the Forks Diner! Bella’s favorite, remember!

    • I thought it was berry cobbler…oh, really, just stop me now.

  28. Rachelle: She too scares the bejeezus out of me and from the pics I have seen of the new “Victoria” I am not impressed…would love to know the REAL story as to why they replaced her? Didn’t they film Cam’s fight scene in the dance studio first b/c of his previous committments?

    Off topic: Just recently been getting quite a few twitter followers requests (I have NO idea why as I am as boring as watching paint dry) but as I don’t know who the ppl are, I decline them, so if you are from LTT please let me know so I can gladly accept them! Again I warn you I am very boring!🙂

    I feel like I am trying to make up for lost comment time..lol..sorry!

  29. Oh, Mr. Medina/Molina! “We gotta go, we gotta go!”

    Nods to Chief Swan’s rotating 4 plaid shirt/jackets.

    Nods to the sink in Swan kitchen…making its way into not just that awkward scene in Twi w/ Bells and Charlie all “Phil seems nice” “Yeah he is” and then bearing witness to “Steak and cobbler at the diner every night? That’s you dad, that’s not me” and then serving as the backdrop for the Always in the way kiss w/Jacob! Sink’s seen it all…

    • SINK=WIN!! Although I have to say that I never really “got” that scene, awkward pause and all…someone splain it to the dumb one please!!

      • Too many takes? Overworked editor? I think she’s supposed to have a line and it got edited out. But my fave part is when she goes to put her backpack on the chair and it falls to the ground instead. Standard Bella klutz. I think it’s also her one moment of “taking care of Charlie”-ness when she goes to clear and wash his plate.

        I always thought the point was to show that she’s only able to think about Edward. Like her responses to her dad are vague and irrelevant because her mind is somewhere else (in Vampville…and who can blame her?!). But, who knows.

    • Oohh TS I wish I could give you a gagillion upthumbs for that.

  30. Christopher Heyerdahl: Officially creeps me out (think that makes 3 so far)..kept expecting him in his frozen like seated position to lean forward and just fall on the floor..or move and burst into into like a million dusty peices!

    Off topic: Does anyone but me think that perhaps Charlie being a Dad AND Chief of Police should not be drinking so much! I mean I love Charlie but I worry about his liver..lets set a good example please..plus, not such a good idea to hunt wolves, ( There NOT bears) after drinking too many vitiman R’s! We must not forget Harry, (whose Kung Foo wasn’t strong enough apparently) wonder how many he sucked down before heading out ! Ohhh I see a PSA in the making!!

    • Serious! And when Bella gets him another one when he’s cleaning his gun… that struck me as…um… unsafe. But then, I don’t own or clean guns.

      • Good way to keep “Daddy” in the dark:
        Bella: “Here Dad have another one” BTW I have a date with Edward Cullen”
        Charlie: “Burp..okay but I thought you weren’t interested in any of the boys in town..grab me another one will ya..”
        Bella: “Well Edward doesn’t live in town and besides he’s a vampire, I will be completely safe”
        ******Edward walks in******
        Edward: “Bella won’t be out too late, were playing baseball with my vampire family and besides we hunt our food at night, so I’ll get her home early”
        Charlie: ” Bella, baseball? Good luck with that…well be careful in the woods, there might be Bears!”
        Bella: “Dad there NOT bears, and I am completely safe with Edward he is a vampire and a great hunter!”
        Charlie reaching for another beer,” Edward so you like to hunt? What about fishing? Wanna go fishing sommmetime?”
        Edward: “Ummm where?”
        Charlie: ” (hiccup) Harry and I fish the res…”
        Edward: “I don’t think so, its kinda crowed there, ready Bella?”
        Bella: ” Ok Dad, here’s another one, were gonna head out now”
        Charlie:” Ok, have a good time Belward, I mean Edward and say Hi to your family for me…”
        ++++++++++Exit Edward++++++++++++++
        Bella: “Thanks Dad, he’s important, glad you don’t have a problem with him being a vampire, I knew you were cool!”
        Charlie: “VAMPIRE? I thought you said UMPIRE?? Oh well (burp) you could do worse and he likes to hunt!, Hey Bellllllaaaa you still got that pepper spray and umm can you grab me another six pack on your way out?”
        Bella: “Sure Dad”
        Charlie: “Thanks Bells, have fun and don’t worry about me, this guns not load…” KABOOM!!!

    • You def need to drink while cleaning your shotgun. Drowns out the smell of Hoppes.

  31. My personal favourite is the guy in the restaurant who is thinking about cats. I actually think not enough attention has been made to him, and Forks/Port Angeles police should have involved him their line of enquiry into Buttcrack Santa’s untimely demise. Its kind of obvious really, BCS was torturing Cat-Guy’s kittens in an attempt to find out how to make them miaow… Its clear that Cat-Guy put a hit out on BCS and hired James and co to do his dirty work for him…

    • Wow! WIN!
      Doesn’t cat guy kind of remind you of Bobcat (haha) Goldthwait circa the early 90’s?

      • Yes, that’s it! LOL I knew he looked familiar – would explain why we never hear him speak too…

    • Kaet, your theory has merit, and I think we can finally clear up the mystery of the meowing kitties!
      Bobcat Goldthwait–I actually stalked him for a while in my distant youth. Rob was only what, five years old, or I would have been stalking him instead, honest!

      • “Rob was only what, five years old, or I would have been stalking him instead, honest!”
        I so heart you!

    • Oh no, there goes my mid-day tea. That was sooooo funny. I’m trying not to tear up.

  32. I would also like to nominate Jacobs abs as a cast member and possible their own novella. I’m mean come on, if Bree gets one then those God-like, pieces of perfection should SURELY have one! I’m just sayin..

    • Yes, his abs ARE the situation.

  33. It’s normal that the movie I’m in’s trailer came out finally and they have a moon to new moon action going on and it goes the wrong way and I immediately thought, “That’s the wrong way! C-Dubs made sure to do it the right way even though everyone else does it wrong.” Sigh. Director’s commentary, always getting in the way.

    • oops, forgot to say that I think the lunar cycle opening is a vital supporting cast member

    • Wait – are you telling us that playing Kate won’t be your feature film debut?!?!?!?

      • This film is… extraordinarily weird. It makes zero sense. Therefore I am not counting it as a feature film (except on my acting resume of course). Plus I’d like to say independent lo/no budget films don’t necessarily count. If it’s not on imdb, it’s not official. Or something like that.

  34. I’ve decided that I will miss Laurant and his dreds.
    R.I.P.

    • I’m with you there – they did a great job of making him look awesome in the movie – hair especially!

    • I loved Laurent! So chill and sexy.

      • Don’t forget the hot accent😉
        I loved his coolness when talking to Beller in the meadow. He was scary and sexy at the same time.

  35. Thanks, ladies!
    *and I typo-ed (shock) I don’t actually have 155 pounds to loose.

    • haha i just read that- i think when i copied it in it dropped the period between the fives! my bad!

  36. Dear Snow,
    I too live in the OC, and I think that we need to be new best friends.

    There, I said it.

    But seriously, I loved your posts. You’re pretty much saying exactly what I’m thinking. But when you say it, it comes out a lot more witty and sharp. Therefore, we need to be best friends.

    Seriously, catch me on twitter and we’ll rock this joint. Or meet up for drinks on the peninsula.

    ~Chelsea

    • Chelsea! Yay a fellow sista. Drinks you say? I’m in!

  37. What about the guy in the bookstore when Bella buys a book? Um, hello? He doesn’t even count her money. Everyone knows teenagers are untrustworthy! (j/k) And where’s the receipt so she can read it in its entirety and get it all finger-smudged, then try to return it?

  38. Oh this was hilarious today! Nice work. I’m totally going ont he W.W.A.E diet. Although not if they make my boobs go all saggy like Ash’s are in that pic. Sorry Ash, I love ya girl, but I prefer mine to be a bit perkier…

  39. How come no one mentioned Bellas hot pants!😦

  40. Ugh, one of my least favourite things about the first movie is that Tyler kid. I hate the way he says ‘Bella.’ I hate the way he shrugs repeatedly when she doesn’t come over after he throws something at her in the parking lot. They really messed up casting that guy, he was so distracting.

    If I wasn’t watching on a PS2 (our DVD player broke), I would fast forward through every part involving Tyler, just like I do with the scene where the factory worker gets killed over in Mason, and when James et al kill Buttcrack Santa. Those additional (unnecessary & annoying) scenes really burn my biscuits.

    Yes, I really do belong in this web circle, I take Twilight personally.😉

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